¿Por qué sigo soltero? 12 Razones Probables (+ Cómo Cambiar Esto)
Is your relationship status SINGLE? Has it been like that for too long? Well, my friend, welcome to the club…
Tell me something honestly… Do you ever wonder about things like “What is wrong with me? Why am I single? Why can’t I find true love? Why the hell, why? ¿Por qué sigo soltero?“
Sé que lo haces, y no tienes nada de qué avergonzarte porque ese tipo de pensamiento es completamente normal en tu situación.
And I know you’re expecting me to say that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you and that love is waiting for you somewhere around the corner. But, I’m not here to give you that kind of comfort.
Let’s just cut the crap and call this what it is. Hey, don’t get me wrong here. I’m not saying that something is really wrong with you or that you’re damaged in any way.
Okay, there is nothing wrong with you, but it’s obvious that something is que te retiene. And I’m here just to help you understand what’s keeping you from finding love.
¿Por qué sigo soltero? 12 razones comunes
Even though I’m sure most people don’t think so, vida de soltero no siempre es todo sol y arco iris.
Okay, sometimes it’s good to do all the things you want without having to pay attention to whether it’s going to hurt your partner or not.
But the truth is that it hurts like hell when you’re going through a difficult period in your life and have no one to share your sorrows with.
Bueno, hablando desde mi propia experiencia, a veces duele muchísimo llegar a casa vacía después de un día muy difícil en el trabajo y no tener a nadie con quien hablar de ello.
A veces, no tener a esa persona especial a la que enviar un texto de buenas noches es desgarrador.
So without any further ado… Let’s find out why are you still solo and what’s stopping you from letting someone into your heart.
You’re struggling with philophobia…
You’re probably asking qué filofobia is now, right? Well, it’s not actually some kind of health condition – it’s a phobia or fear of falling in love.
It occurs mostly when people have been hurt in past relationships and are afraid that it might happen again. They know what they had to go through because of that, and they don’t want to go through the same thing ever again.
The thing is that they aren’t actually happy because they’re single, but they think it’s for the best.
They don’t want to start a relationship with someone because they think they will fall madly in love with them and give them the power to control them and their life.
If you are afraid of falling in love, then you’re definitely philophobic. Here’s a little guide on how to deal with it and superar el miedo a enamorarse.
¡¿O quizás incluso con agliofobia?!
Es bastante similar a la filofobia. Solo que esta fobia es miedo al dolor emocional y físico.
So, as I already said, they’re afraid of being hurt. And people who have this kind of phobia don’t even want to give others a chance because they don’t want to risk it.
They simply think that their heart isn’t able to take and manejar otro desengaño. Para ellos, ser soltero es la única manera de protegerse y salvarse.
¿Y la fobia al compromiso?
I think this is a pretty clear one. If you’re fobia al compromiso, then the answer to your question “Why am I still single?” is all too obvious.
It’s because you don’t want to commit to another person. You’re used to one-night stands, and you probably don’t go any further than a first date.
Si quieres saber más sobre esta fobia, echa un vistazo a este artículo de nuestra coach de relaciones y entérate de todo sobre fobia al compromiso y cómo afrontarla.
I just want to say another thing and close this phobia topic: the only phobia you should have is monophobia – the fear of being alone.
Trust me, that’s the worst. You can live with all the others and find a way to cope with them, but this phobia will break your heart every day, piece by piece.
Tu miedo a lo que puede pasar hace que no pase nada
Please stop with the “what ifs.” What will happen, what God meant for you to happen, will happen, and you can do absolutely nothing about it.
Así que no tiene sentido obsesionarse con ello, ¿verdad?
Sometimes you have to take risks in life. It’s always better to take a risk and be hurt than to waste your life struggling with the miedo a lo desconocido.
El miedo es también el mayor enemigo de la intimidad
I know this is the reason why am I still single, and I’m working on it. It’s just so hard for me to let someone get too close to me. I’m so afraid of that closeness.
Intento evitarlo todo lo que puedo y, tarde o temprano, acabo ahuyentando a mi posible pareja.
La mayoría de los expertos en relaciones coinciden en que miedo a la intimidad es el peor obstáculo para mantener una relación sana.
Actually, we all know that it’s a way we form and strengthen the bond between our partner and us.
Tu baja autoestima te sabotea
Si tiene baja autoestima, you should know that it’s your worst enemy. Not just when it comes to finding love but in so many other things.
It’s probably one of the core reasons why are you still single. So, work on boosting your self-confidence, your self-awareness, and you’ll see how it’ll increase your chances of meeting your soulmate.
If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, it will never allow you to take the first step. You won’t be able to live life to the max, and you’ll always doubt your own worth.
Remember, it’s not who you are that is holding you back – it’s actually all those things you think you aren’t and will never be.
Los problemas de salud mental también son una gran presa
If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety, it may also be a reason why you can’t build a healthy relationship with someone else.
No matter how big those issues are, don’t ever let them be bigger and stronger than you are.
You can’t be TOO independent for a relationship
It’s okay to be independent and maintain your independence even after getting into a relationship with someone. It’s actually good for the relationship.
However, you shouldn’t think that you’re self-sufficient and that you don’t need anyone else. Because you do, as we all do.
You don’t need anyone stronger or braver than you because you already are all those things. It’s just nice when you have someone to offer you a helping hand when life throws you to the bottom.
Véase también: Carta a la mujer que elige entre el amor y su independencia
Tu equipaje emocional necesita ser vaciado
One thing’s for sure… You’ll never be ready to move on until you deshacerse del bagaje emocionale que arrastras de tus relaciones pasadas.
Don’t live in the past anymore. Get back to your real life. Your present and your future are important. You need to put a full stop on everything else once and for all.
It’s good to be careful, but there is no point in obsessing over things that are out of your control or that you simply can’t change.
Las heridas del pasado te han puesto a la defensiva
Finding love isn’t an easy job. It’s a process that lasts a while, and you’re sure to get hurt somewhere along the way.
However, don’t let it change your opinion on amor verdadero. Don’t let it make you create some kind of defense mechanism that “will” keep your heart safe in the future. Because, unfortunately, that’s impossible.
Also, be an open book and allow everyone to read you. Open your heart to love. Don’t be afraid to let someone new in.
Sí, siempre existe el riesgo de que también te hagan daño, pero también pueden amarte incondicionalmente y hacer que tu vida sea mejor en todos los sentidos posibles.
You’re nitpicky
I’m sure you’re like, “What the hell is this? What does nitpicky mean?”. If the people around have told you several times that you’re too picky, that’s it. It means you ask for too much.
It means you have high and maybe even unrealistic expectations for your potential partner that they can not fulfill, of course, and that you eliminate them as soon as they fail to fulfill them or do something you aren’t okay with.
It’s okay to be, let’s say, selective when it comes to choosing your romantic partner, but it doesn’t mean that you should strive for perfection. Because the truth is that there is no such thing as a perfect person.
If this is the case, if you’re demasiado exigente...entonces necesitas un baño de realidad.
Don’t compromise your standards, don’t settle for less than you deserve, but also don’t be too picky because it’ll definitely lower your chances of meeting the right one.
Or, maybe you’re a narcissist? ?
Please, say no. In my opinion, narcissists are one of the worst types of people. It’s perfectly understandable that they can’t form and maintain a relationship with another human being because they only think about themselves all the time.
So, if you aren’t completely sure but are doubting that you may have some narcissistic traits, you can check out this article that perfectly describes some rasgos narcisistas que quizá no reconozca de inmediato.
Narcissists are self-sufficient. They don’t need others because they think they’re so much better than everyone else.
And they’ll get into a romantic relationship with someone only if it’s beneficial to them. That is, only if they can take advantage of that person.
¿Cómo dejar de ser soltero? 8 consejos eficaces
Just to be clear, I won’t teach you here how to become a pro at flirting and seducing. If that’s your goal, then check out this guía completa sobre cómo ligar sutilmente como un profesional.
I’m here to help you open up to love. I’m here to help you attract your soulmate faster.
Now, I don’t want to dwell on this anymore. So, let’s get you back in the dating pool.
Sal y diviértete
Don’t obsess too much about finding love. Ponte elegante, sal, diviértete y conoce a nuevos amigos. Quién sabe, a lo mejor tu alma gemela se esconde en uno de ellos.
Pasar tiempo con los amigos y la familia también es imprescindible. Las personas cercanas siempre tienen un efecto positivo en tu autoestima, algo realmente importante si quieres escapar de la soltería.
Just swim around in the dating pool for some time. And let love find you…
Dejar de lado las expectativas poco realistas
You know how those A.A. therapies start? Everyone needs to introduce themselves and admit they have an addiction. Well, let’s just try to imagine we’re having that kind of therapy right now and start with the introduction.
My name is April Callaghan, and I’m a single woman who can’t build and maintain a healthy relationship with a guy because of my highly unrealistic expectations.
I’m sure there are many of you girls who could do the same introduction. It’s no wonder we’ve been disappointed so many times by guys. Y, el hecho es que las expectativas poco realistas conducen a la decepción.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to have and cultivate some expectations. But the point is that you need to learn cómo gestionar sus expectativas en una asociación… Learn how to be more accepting and less expecting…
Encuentra a alguien que te ayude a deshacer tu equipaje emocional
Okay, you’ve been hurt in the past by someone you deeply loved. You were traicionado por aquellos que dijeron que nunca te harían eso. The person you loved the most stabbed you in the back… I know, those are the most awful feelings.
Sin embargo, ahora tienes que dejarlo todo atrás y abrir un capítulo completamente nuevo en la vida.
El hecho es que tu vida amorosa está sufriendo por eso cargas de relaciones pasadas. And you’ll never be ready to let someone new into your life until you get rid of it first.
¡¡¡La vulnerabilidad no es debilidad!!!
This goes for all the single people out there. It’s so wrong and deeply unhealthy to keep everything bottled up inside of you just because you’re afraid to open up to someone and show your vulnerable side.
Don’t think it’ll chase them away. I’m sure this will surprise you, but it’s actually the other way around.
It’ll make them stay and fight for you even more. It’ll make them fall in love with each and every one of your weaknesses.
Showing your weaknesses to others, celebrating your flaws, and embracing your vulnerability… This, my dear single friend, is the right bridge for a true connection.
Don’t run away from conflict
Casi todos los expertos en relaciones te dirán que necesitas acepte las peleas en su relación porque sólo puede hacer más fuerte el vínculo entre usted y su pareja.
O, como siempre digo, donde hay amor verdaderoTambién hay desacuerdos y conflictos.
So, the first time you and your potential partner get in a fight about something, don’t immediately give up and run away.
It’s not a healthy way to deal with those kinds of situations, and it’ll definitely lower your chances of meeting the right person.
Prueba las citas en línea
We’re living in this modern world of social media, and online dating has become completely normal. There are a lot of people who’re en una relación duradera with someone they’ve never actually met in person.
Para ser sinceros, las citas en línea tienen aspectos buenos y malos.
Por ejemplo, se puede aprender todo sobre alguien antes de construir realmente una relación seria con ellos, pero también podrías enamorarte perdidamente de ellos antes incluso de iniciar una relación romántica.
However, my honest advice to you is to go ahead with it. Download a dating app, create a good profile, and start swiping through the profiles. I’m sure your soulmate is waiting for you on one of those dating sites.
Casamentera profesional, ¿por qué no?
I’m sure all of you have heard about matchmaking and know how it works. You hire a matchmaker, they conduct an interview with you to find out some basic information about you and your life in general, and your job is done there.
That’s when they start searching for your best matches in their database, based on the information you gave them.
So, you need to be completely honest during the interview because it’ll help them find your potential partner faster.
Also, you need to understand that matchmaking is a process and, of course, it’ll require some time. But the good thing is that it’ll definitely increase your chances of meeting your soulmate.
La verdad sobre la compatibilidad
I know that you’re probably looking for someone you’ll comparten una intensa química y compatibilidad con, pero lo cierto es que mucha gente tiene una visión distorsionada de la compatibilidad en las relaciones románticas.
It’s true that you should have some common interests and values. However, most people forget that our true strength lies in differences, not similarities.
Para crear un vínculo emocional muy profundo con otro ser humano y construir una relación satisfactoria, hay que aceptar y asumir las diferencias.
You shouldn’t let them divide you. On the contrary, let them bring you closer to each other.
En total
I hope this article has helped you to come to a conclusion and the right answer to your question, “Why am I still single?”.
And no matter what the reason is, you don’t have to worry about it. Just follow all the proven advice above and let it take you to tu alma gemela.
And always remember, you shouldn’t date someone just so you can say you’re finally in a relationship. Just so you can change your relationship status on social media.
No. Find someone who’ll change it deep down in your heart. Date someone you can see yourself building a relación sana y enamorarse perdidamente de ella.
Al fin y al cabo, lo único que importa es el AMOR.
If there is no love, there is no true happiness. If there is no love, there is no devotion. If there is no love, there is no loyalty. If there is no love… Well, there is nothing real, nothing true… There is absolutely nothing at all.
