¿Por qué todo el mundo es tan malo conmigo? No eres tú. (¿O sí?)
Nadie se libra de un comportamiento mezquino, y si ocurre a menudo, puede ser difícil de sobrellevar. When you’re in a situation that causes you to think, “Why is everyone so mean to me?” it’s likely that things have come to a point where it’s gone too far.
Ocurre a personas de todas las edades La culpa es del mismo tipo de personas cuando un adulto es maltratado en el trabajo o cuando un niño de diez años es acosado en la escuela. Se puede poner muy mal en línea – hiding behind anonymity and memes allows people to attack others in public forums , but it gets really bad in private messages donde nadie puede ver .
Why does it happen? What makes people act in a way that hurts others? Is it your fault or is it theirs? All these questions have answers that aren’t hard to understand, but it might be hard to find compassion for the people who are mean and hurtful.
¿Por qué todo el mundo es tan malo conmigo?
There can be only two answers to this problem: it’s either you, or other people. You can tell which one it is by giving the following question some thought: ¿es realmente todo el mundo¿o estás exagerando?
Every time you think, “Why is everyone so mean to me?” be honest with yourself. If it’s everyone, then you should consider the possibility that you’re the reason why people don’t like you . If it’s not everyone, but in fact a few gente mala que encuentres, entonces ellos son los culpables.
There’s a quote that says, “If you run into an gilipollas por la mañana, te encontraste con un gilipollas. Si se encuentra con gilipollas all day, you’re the gilipollas.” (Raylan Givens, Justificado ) Esta línea describe perfectamente este punto.
If all of your interactions with other people lead to them being mean to you, there’s something about you that rubs them the wrong way. If it’s an occasional rude or persona mezquinaentonces tienen un problema.
Para llegar al fondo del asunto y averiguar por qué la gente es mala, hay que explorar ambas posibilidades.
La gente es mala contigo por sus propios problemas
It’s far more likely that not every single person is mean to you, but that you simply run into rude and hurtful people so often that it seems they’re everywhere.
Imagine a day like this: first someone bumps into you on the street and proceeds to yell at you while you’re on your way to work. Later, your boss snaps at you when you ask them about a project deadline. To top it off, your friend ignores you when you text them to ask them to go out while you’re getting ready to leave work.
With such encounters it’s easy to forget all the kind things that happened that day: the neighbor who greeted you with a smile, the co-worker who helped you out, the family member who called to ask how you are. So the next time you think, “Everyone is so mean to me,” take a moment to remember the other side of the story.
Sin embargo, las personas que son malas lo son por motivos totalmente ajenos a ti. La gente es mala por sus propios problemas. It’s insecurities and unhappiness that make people act rude, mean and unkind.
1. Tienen baja autoestima
La baja autoestima hace que una persona dudar de su valía , and their unhappiness needs to be expressed somehow. Sometimes it manifests as false self-confidence that’s fragile and ready to shatter at any time.
Una persona con bajo autoestima doesn’t see anything good in themselves, and they’ve convinced themselves that they are indigno de amor. Como se sienten poco queridos, creen que deben caerles mal.
They’re afraid you won’t like them as they are anyway, so by being mean they give you something that’s easy to dislike – the mean version of themselves that deserves hate. As mean as they are to you, they’re meaner to themselves.
2. They’re plagued by insecurities
A common reason for being mean is when a person is facing something that they’re insecure about. Las interacciones entre las personas suelen estar influidas por el hecho de que alguien suele llevar las de ganar por mucho que cueste reconocerlo.
When someone who’s feeling like you’re above them in some way is mean to you, they’re trying to protect themselves. Because they’re feeling powerless and insecure about their autoestima, they’re trying to put you down before you get the chance to put them down.
3. They’re feeling inadequate
Some people who don’t like themselves can espiral de autodesprecio and have trouble in social interactions because they feel like they don’t have anything to offer. They believe others might think they’re boring and annoying, so they overcompensate by being mean.
La ansiedad ante las interacciones sociales les lleva a menospreciar a los demás. Al hacerlo, las rebajan a su propio nivel.
4. Su educación les ha influido
A lot of people have grown up in unhealthy environments and never learned how to act when they’re having negative emotions . If they were taught that it’s acceptable to take out your feelings on others, they might lack autoconocimiento y ni siquiera se plantean examinar su comportamiento.
5. They’ve suffered abuse
People who have suffered abusive behavior often perpetuate what they’ve experienced unless their feelings are dealt with. This, or anything else on this list, isn’t an excuse for behaving in a hurtful way to others, but it can give you a glimpse into por qué a algunas personas les cuesta relacionarse con los demás de forma sana y productiva.
6. They’ve been hurt
People are often mean to cope with their feelings. Maybe you remind them of their pain, or you’re in the wrong place at the wrong time, but their lashing out has nothing to do with you. It’s a coping mechanism to deal with dolor emocional and handle damage that you don’t see.
7. Su enfado sienta bien
Some people convince themselves that they’re right even when they aren’t and echar la culpa a los demás . If they decide that you’re the villain, they get a feeling of superiority when they’re mean to you – if you’re awful, then they must be the good guy.
La primera vez que actúan así, se dan cuenta de que les gusta la sensación, así que siguen haciéndolo. Because they enjoy being mean, they refuse to let go of their anger and think about how they’re affecting the other person.
8. Carecen de habilidades comunicativas
Ser mezquino puede mostrar falta de comunicación y de habilidades sociales . Alguien que se enfada y se vuelve mezquino en el momento en que no está de acuerdo contigo probablemente ha aprendido esta forma de comunicarse al crecer.
¿Has hablado alguna vez con alguien que empieza a hablar por encima de ti con una voz más alta que la tuya en lugar de esperar a que termines? Este es otro comportamiento que demuestra falta de habilidades comunicativas.
Enfadarse por defecto al hablar con los demás es especialmente fácil de detectar en redes sociales. It’s often found among people who’ll disagree with you just for the sake of it.
9. They’re going through something
You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life at the moment. They could be having a bad day or personal problems occupying their thoughts. They could be hungry or sleepy or worried, and too preoccupied with their own life to have any patience for others. Mal humor causada por el estrés afecta a todo el mundo, pero no todo el mundo sabe cómo afrontarla.
10. They’re emotionally immature
Someone who’s emocionalmente inmaduro doesn’t have the ability to cope with their feelings, which can often result in acting out and trying to drag you down to their level. If you cross their path, they’ll try to make you unhappy because they’re unhappy. Recurrirá a insultos, gritos y ataques para expresar sus sentimientos negativos.
11. They’re feeling entitled
La gente con derechos cree que les debes algo. It can be your time, attention or anything else, but they can become enraged when they don’t get what they believe they deserve.
This is the kind of rude people who imagine scenarios about how a situation should go, and when you don’t act in accordance with their imagination, they react to you behaving in a way they didn’t expect with anger.
These are toxic people who don’t even realize they are the problem and they’ll blame you for ruining their day, even when you had nothing to do with it.
12. They’re trying to make themselves feel better
Cuando alguien se siente profundamente infeliz y frustrado, intentan buscar validación arrastrando a otras personas a su nivel. La miseria ama la compañía, así que quieren que te sientas tan mal contigo mismo como ellos.
The things they don’t like most about you are the things they don’t like most about themselves, and therefore they’ll throw every ounce of hatred and vitriol that they believe they deserve at you.
13. Tienen problemas de salud mental
Depression isn’t just sadness, it’s a lack of will and it’s often accompanied by irritability and short temper. Lack of patience for people around them and anxiety make it fácil de arremeter. Other mental health issues can also contribute to someone’s rude and mean behavior , such as certain personality disorders.
14. They’re taking it out on you
A menudo, las personas que están enfadadas con alguien o con algo recurren a la ira fuera de lugar para hacer frente a problemas no resueltos. Puede que seas la vigésima persona que les ha molestado hoy, y ha sido la gota que ha colmado el vaso. It happens more than you think – someone made them mad, now they’re making you pay for the other person’s behavior.
15. Por algo les caes mal
Sometimes people are mean because they’re angry at you specifically. You don’t have to have done anything in particular – a veces las personas pueden guardarte rencor por la forma en que te perciben en relación con ellas mismas.
Por ejemplo, pueden odiarte porque no están de acuerdo contigo en algunos valores o te envidian because you have something they don’t.
You might be complaining about lack of free time because you’ve made too many plans, and they’ll resent you because they’re lonely and bored.
La gente es mala contigo por tu comportamiento
Si la mayoría de las personas con las que te relacionas son groseras o malas contigo, lo más probable es que you’re probably not as nice as you think. Cada uno tiene su propio punto de vista, y a veces podemos juzgar a los demás con más dureza de la que nos juzgamos a nosotros mismos.
Most of the time we value our own actions by their intent, and the others’ by their results. For example, if you accidentally spill coffee on someone, you’ll insist that it wasn’t on purpose if they get mad. If someone else spills coffee on you, you’ll be all sticky and angry and won’t care that they did it by accident.
This is how we justify things that we did but didn’t mean to do, while we still blame other people if they do the same thing. When you hold people to standards that you don’t apply to yourself, it can become easy to see yourself as a victim who is under attack by everyone.
1. You’re rude to people
Examine everything from the previous section closely to see if anything applies to you. Are you the one who’s mean in the first place for some reason? Do you have unresolved anger issues?
If you don’t like yourself, if your life is stressful or you don’t know how to cope, you might be dealing with it by being rude to people lo que hace que también sean groseros y malos contigo.
2. Pareces falso
If you’re nice and everyone is mean to you, people might be thinking that your niceness is fake. Overly nice people can seem like they have an agenda and are trying to gain something by their niceness, so people might feel like you’re dishonest.
Make sure that you’re not nice because you’re trying to be liked. People can feel the lack of sincerity, and if you’re nice because you expect niceness back, you won’t get it. En lugar de ser simpático, sé amable.
3. You’re negative
Asking the question “Why is everyone so mean to me?” in the first place can mean that you’re a person who looks at everything in a negative way.
If you’re seeing comportamiento medio y cosas malas por todas partes, deberías intentar examinar por qué es así. If you’re pessimistic and can’t seem to find anything good around you, you might be feeling depressed or sad for some reason.
Intenta cambiar poco a poco tu forma de ver la vida y, si es necesario, pide ayuda a un profesional.
4. You’re selfish
If you’re selfish and focused only on yourself, it’s hard to notice how other people feel. Si tiendes a culpar a los demás de tus problemas, éste podría ser el caso.
If you’re making everything about you, and judging others, their mean behavior might be a reaction to the way you treat them. Algunas señales de que puedes ser egoísta son que juzgues a los demás por cosas a las que crees que tienes derecho y que persigas tus propios deseos y necesidades a costa de los demás.
Empieza a lidiar con esto centrándote un poco más en los demás en lugar de necesitar ser siempre el centro de atención.
5. You’re bossy
Si siempre tienes que decir la última palabra y tener siempre la razón, la gente puede considerarte un mandón. If you get upset when things don’t go your way, people might think you’re controlling y no hacer las cosas que quieres a propósito.
Ser alguien que critica, regaña y trata de controlar a los demás puede hacer que reaccionen con rudeza o que no quieran estar cerca de ti.
Véase también: Por qué mi novia es tan mala conmigo (16 razones + formas de superarlo)
¿Qué hago cuando la gente se porta mal conmigo?
When people are mean to you, don’t take things personally. You can react in kind and cause an argument, but you won’t gain anything from it. Or you can get sad, but they’re not worth it.
The best thing to do when people are rude and mean to you, is to fully understand that people’s reactions to you are their problem.
1. Céntrate en el asunto en cuestión, en lugar de en el comportamiento grosero
Don’t expect people to be nice. If they turn out to be nice, that’s great. If they don’t, it’s not your problem.
When you’re in a situation where you’re forced to deal with someone who’s being mean, try to ignore their behavior until you don’t have to interact with them and then simply focus on the reason you’re there.
For example, if you need a co-worker who’s being rude to give you a file, don’t react to their rudeness, but every time they say something mean, only talk about the file you need. Don’t give them the validation they’re looking for – only deal with them for the reason you have to.
2. Don’t pay them back in kind, sea amable
Otra forma de reaccionar ante la gente mezquina es ser amable con ellos. Por supuesto, you don’t have to be kind to someone who’s rude to you, but the results might surprise you.
If it’s someone who’s mean because they’re not feeling good about themselves, your kindness can completely change their day around and make them reconsider the way they’re treating you.
If it’s someone who’s mean because they feel like they have the right to be mean, they’ll get confused and potentially even more angry. Si usted persiste en tu bondad and completely ignore that they’re being rude, you’ll end up much less upset.
3. Alejarse
Sometimes it’s best to simply leave the situation. If you don’t have to deal with the person who’s being mean, don’t engage them at all. Just turn around and leave and don’t give them a time of day. Sometimes it’s really not worth it.
4. Establecer límites
Cuando alguien se comporta de forma grosera con usted, debe mostrarse firme y establecer límites . Let them know their behavior isn’t acceptable and tell them that you refuse to deal with it. If they cross your boundaries after you’ve let them know, don’t allow them to get away with it. Sea claro y decidido.
5. Habla más alto
Sometimes you have to speak up and call out someone’s rudeness . Deciding when to do it and when to walk away is difficult, but keep in mind that tienes que elegir tus batallas.
If you see that speaking up only leads to more conflict, it’s better to remove yourself from the situation. When you think that you’re able to reach the other person, then you should speak up.
¿Por qué es tan fácil ser malo con los demás?
Estar descontento con algo en su vida hace que la gente busque cualquier forma de expresar su insatisfacción. Enredarse en tus sentimientos puede ser muy fácil, y empiezas a ver a los demás como tus enemigos.
When you’re feeling like you’ve been treated unfairly for something minor and you react with what seems to be justified anger, you feel a sense of superiority because the other person is clearly awful and you’re the one who’s right.
In this way it’s easy for your feelings of righteousness to lead you into being mean, and to feel satisfaction when you give someone what you believe they deserve. Have you ever gossiped about someone and happily listed every bad thing about them, pleased that they’re so terrible and you’re not?
La forma en que las personas tratan a los demás está relacionada con cómo se sienten consigo mismas. Becoming someone who isn’t mean starts with compasión – for others, but also for yourself. If you’ve been unkind, start by being kinder to yourself.
• Forgive yourself for your past mistakes.
• Face your fears and your flaws that make you mad when you recognize them in others.
• Don’t criticize yourself and don’t judge yourself.
• See your own anger at yourself and recognize you’re not a bad person.
• Acknowledge that some of the things that are important to you, might hold no value in someone else’s life.
• On the other hand, just because you’re not even thinking about something, doesn’t mean it’s not an issue for someone else.
To stop being mean, it’s important to consider other people’s lives and their own perspectives, which might be completely different from yours. Elige curarte y decide ser amable en lugar de mezquino. Primero contigo mismo y luego con los demás.
Sea amable
Being mean is an easy way to cope with things that aren’t going well in someone’s life. Not everyone deals in that way, so the question, “Why is everyone so mean to me?” is something that needs some thought.
Sea sincero consigo mismo about whether it’s always the other person’s fault, or if you’re sometimes to blame for what your relationship is like. Be aware that most people are mean because they’re really mean to themselves, and decide what’s the best way for you personally to deal with it.
