As much as it is beautiful, married life is also tough. Having a successful marriage requires a lot of hard work and it takes a lot of energy.
However, many married couples think that their job is done the moment they say their vows and they do absolutely nothing to have a better marriage and a healthy relationship after a while.
After a while, they stop putting in any effort and start taking each other for granted, which can be fatal for every relationship.
The worst part is that once they notice how much harm they’ve done, it is usually too late to do anything about it and the only option they have to save their relationship is marriage counseling.
Even though getting marriage counseling is nothing to be ashamed of and it means both you and your husband are mature enough to accept that you need help to rebuild your healthy marriage, it can be avoided in time.
You both just have to ask yourself: “How to be a better wife and a better husband?”and here is how you can do your part of the job.
20 Pieces Of Relationship Advice On Becoming A Better Wife
It doesn’t matter whether you’ll see this as a wake up call and the last chance to do something about your marriage or you’re just trying to figure out how to be a better wife.
Here are some habits you can adopt to significantly improve your love life and the relationship you have with your husband.
See also: 12 Dos And Don’ts When Your Husband Defends Another Woman
1. Support his dreams
The thing you probably don’t know about men is that they usually need a little push when it comes to their life progress.
No matter how successful your hubby is and despite the fact that he acts like he can do everything by himself, the truth is that we could all use a little encouragement when it comes to the things we want to achieve.
So please, don’t make fun of this guy’s dreams, even if some might sound foolish or childish to you.
Instead of discouraging him, show your husband that you believe in him and that you plan on standing next to him through everything.
Men don’t like being involved with girls who hold them back and don’t have faith that they can do whatever they set their mind to.
They want to be married to a woman who is the wind to their wings and who inspires them to believe in themselves.
2. Be his friend
If you’re figuring out how to be a better wife, have in mind that your husband doesn’t need you to be his lover only.
Of course, this guy will enjoy having a bombshell wife but he needs more than this to spend his life next to you.
Your husband needs you to be his friend. When I say this, I’m not claiming that you should try to replace his guy friends or that you should expect him not to hang out with anyone else besides you.
When I mention the word friend, I’m talking about much more than having coffee or watching football games with him.
In fact, I’m advising you to show him that you’re one of those rare people who will always mean him well and a person who will never betray or backstab him.
Show him that he can trust you, no matter what, and that you’ll always be there to have his back, through thick and thin. Be his companion, advisor and his person.
Most importantly—make sure that your relationship is more than just romantic. You two aren’t only spouses, you’re family and you are bound to spend the rest of your lives together.
This means that even if your marriage ever comes to an end, you’ll forever remain his friend.
You would never abandon or betray him, even if it happens that you two happen to stop loving each other as a man and a woman or if the passion between you two fades away.
3. Give him space
When you love a man, your first impulse is to spend every second of your free time with him.
It is perfectly natural that you can’t get enough of your husband and that you have the wish to constantly give him your undivided attention.
Nevertheless, you have to accept the fact that most men don’t function in the same way. You see, as much as a guy loves you, after a while, he won’t be able to stand to look at you all the time.
This doesn’t mean that he’s cheating on you or that he got tired of your marriage; he just needs some time away from you.
And that is exactly what you should give him if you want to be a perfect wife—the privacy and space he needs.
If you don’t want your husband to get bored of you and if you don’t want to chase him away by breathing down his neck all the time, don’t suffocate him and don’t limit his freedom.
At the end of the day, you can always use the time you two spend apart to see your best friends or to enjoy some privacy. Either way, it’s a win-win situation.
4. Compliment him
Women are not the only ones who enjoy their other halves telling them how beautiful and enchanting they are. Even if they will rarely admit this, the truth is that men like being complimented as well.
You don’t have to bore your husband by telling him he’s the most handsome guy alive every single day.
However, don’t forget to tell him something nice every now and then, just so he can see how lucky you are for having such a good man like him by your side.
Be careful not to use phony compliments because he’ll see right through you. Instead, focus on the things you really love and admire about him.
Praise his looks and personality and especially do so when you notice that he’s feeling low.
5. Respect him
If you wonder how to be a better wife, know that real men appreciate respect more than anything.
You can love your husband and be the best wife possible in all other fields but if you don’t show him enough respect, he’ll never consider you his perfect match.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should magically become a people pleaser and nod your head to everything he says.
You’re allowed to disagree with him and call him out on his actions; you just have to carefully pick the way to do so.
No, you don’t have to walk on eggshells around him. However, make sure you don’t insult him or put him down.
Your behavior toward him is especially important in public. The last thing your husband wants is for you to humiliate him in front of your mutual friends or his family.
Before respecting him as your life partner, respect his opinions, freedom and desires and respect him as a man and as an individual. Trust me on one thing—if he’s the right guy, he’ll treat you the same way in return.
6. Don’t hold grudges forever
Some women have a habit of holding onto resentment for ages.
If you’re one of those wives who has a harder time forgiving your husband for his mistakes from the past, please work on that because it can be more harmful to your healthy marriage than you might think.
Don’t get me wrong—it is perfectly normal that you get mad at him or that you have trouble forgiving him when he hurts you.
However, holding grudges and letting your past impact your present and future is not the way to go.
When you leave something behind you, don’t use every opportunity to rub it in his face and don’t bring it up every time you have the slightest disagreement.
No matter what your husband did, once you guys talk things through and once you forgive him for his words or actions, forget that this misfortunate event ever took place and move on with your life and marriage.
7. Let him be the man
I know you’re a strong and capable woman who can go through life on her own perfectly fine, without anyone assisting her.
Even though I’m not asking you to reduce your inner power, one of the first traits of a good wife is that she allows her husband to be the man of the house.
No, this doesn’t include him ordering you around, nor does this type of arrangement make you submissive in any way.
You just have to understand that most guys have a fragile ego.
As much as they pretend to be tough, and that you have to be extra careful about not ruining their confidence or making them feel intimidated by your abilities.
You see, every man’s dream is to be his better half’s hero. Your husband wants to be big, strong and fearless in your eyes.
He wants to be your savior and protector, someone who has the ability to wipe away all of your problems and the person you go to when you need a hand. And it’s your job to let him be all of this.
8. Tell him what you need
If you ask any guy what he hates the most about the opposite sex, one of the first things he’ll tell you is that he despises having to guess what his girlfriend wants and thinks.
I’m not talking about mind games or playing hard to get here—I’m talking about the fact that in most cases, men have a hard time fully understanding their significant others.
Therefore, don’t expect your husband to be a mind reader and to act according to your desires, without you ever giving him a hint about them.
If you’re angry, talk to him about it and tell him what’s wrong, be honest about your expectations and call him out on his behavior if it bothers you.
This is the only way you can demand for him to be a better husband. On the other hand, if you give him the silent treatment and patiently wait for him to guess what you think and want, you won’t get anywhere.
9. Admire his performance under the sheets
Unless you are one of the rare people who got married to their high school sweetheart, it is likely that you had at least some experience before meeting your husband.
And let’s be honest—just because you love him more than you loved any man before him, it doesn’t mean he’s the best lover you ever had.
However, if you want to boost your ego and have a better marriage, you’ll have to praise his performance under the sheets.
Your man wants to feel like he’s a beast in the bedroom and even though he knows he is not the only one who could ever satisfy you, he will enjoy hearing you say that.
Naturally, you’ll give him directions on how to please you even more and you won’t stay silent if he’s doing something you don’t like but even in this scenario, spill the truth with extra care.
10. Surprise him in the bedroom
On the other hand, if you want to spice up your marriage life and want the answer to the question “How to be a better wife?”, you can’t expect all the effort to come from one side only.
You’re also the one who has to show initiative and try to improve all aspects of your marriage.
To begin with, surprise your husband in the bedroom. You can start by waiting for him naked when he gets home from work or buying some new lingerie to drive him completely crazy.
Bring some new things under your sheets and don’t be afraid to experiment. Make all of his wildest fantasies come true and show him that you’re ready to do whatever it takes to see him happy.
11. Don’t criticize everything he does
Another thing men despise is constant nagging, which makes them feel like nothing they do is ever good enough.
I know that you probably want to make your husband the best possible man he can be and that you want to help him by pointing him in the right direction.
But criticizing his every word or move will only have a counterproductive effect and inspire him to do everything contrary to what you’re telling him to do, just to annoy you even more.
Therefore, if you want to avoid this scenario from happening, going after him, commenting negatively on everything he sets his mind to is the last thing you should do.
Instead, find a more suitable way to point out his mistakes.
Most importantly—don’t forget to praise him when he does something good. Show him that you’re proud of having such an amazing husband and that you appreciate everything about him.
12. Cook for him
If you followed old-fashioned guides for a happy marriage, cooking your husband lunch and dinner every day would be the number one piece of relationship advice you’d find.
In fact, they would probably tell you to wake up every morning before him to prepare a homemade lunch he could take to work, instead of having to buy sandwiches or fast food every day.
However, times have changed and more and more married couples live on take out.
As much as you might want to do all of this, you probably have a career of your own or you’re a stay at home mom with tons of other obligations, so it is literally impossible for you to cook complicated meals every day.
On the other hand, there really is some truth in the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Therefore, your husband will surely appreciate it if you cook for him from time to time.
I’m not telling you to prepare food for him just because you’re a woman; I’m advising you to do so because he is the person you love.
13. Show interest in his life
It is completely natural that you and your husband have different tastes in music, movies and other things.
After all, the two of you are not the same person and as much as you love each other, you can’t have the same interests regarding everything.
Nevertheless, a good wife will do her best to get involved in her husband’s life. She will listen to him even when he’s talking about things she couldn’t care less about, such as sports or his work.
Don’t change for his sake and don’t pretend you like the things you don’t give a damn about just to please him.
However, it won’t hurt you to, for example, keep him company while he’s watching a football game or buy you two tickets for a concert of his favorite band, even if that is not the music you enjoy listening to.
By doing this, you’re showing your husband that you care about everything he finds important. And what better proof of love does a man need?
14. Do little things for him
Big emotions are shown through small gestures. Knowing this, it’s clear why you should do little things for your husband, to show him how much he matters to you.
I’m not saying that you should become his personal assistant or act like his servant; after all, you two are equal partners.
However, you won’t lose your crown if you do some errands on his behalf, if you fold his clothes, take care of his paperwork or do some other favors for him.
15. Take care of him
Even though they will rarely admit this, the reality is that men enjoy being taken care of.
They believe a woman loves them when she worries about their well-being and when she takes their needs into consideration.
Your husband is no exception; he can pretend to be a tough macho man but he is probably a big baby who needs you to pamper him.
Therefore, if you want to be a good wife, show your man that you care if he’s had enough sleep, if he’s eaten well, if he’s tired and if he needs any help.
However, what is important here is not to turn into his mother because no man likes that either. Take care of him but don’t forget that you’re his wife and that you shouldn’t use your marriage as a chance to raise him.
16. Be nice to his friends and family
Your husband’s best friends and family are the people he loves. Their loved ones were a part of his life even before you came along and you should never try to distance him from them.
In fact, you will make him the happiest man in the world if you’re on good terms with the ones he loves.
Even if you don’t have much sympathy for these people and if you would never choose them to be a part of your life if it weren’t for your significant other.
Put the effort into treating his loved ones as nicely as possible simply because they matter to him.
Of course, this only applies in the situation when all of them treat you the way you deserve.
Nobody is telling you that you must hang out with his best friend or that you have to accept his parents like they’re your own but even if you can’t get along.
You have to respect all of these people and your husband’s feelings toward them.
17. Don’t try to change him
Your husband is nowhere near perfection. However, neither are you.
At the end of the day, this isn’t relevant; what matters is that you two are imperfectly perfect together.
So please, don’t put any effort into turning your spouse into something he’s not.
It is one thing if you push him forward into becoming the best possible version of himself but it is completely different if you want to change the essence of who he is.
After all, you know who you fell in love with and it is unfair if you are looking to make some crucial modifications regarding his personality (or looks) now that you two are married.
Don’t expect your love to change this man and if you really care for him and want him to feel good about himself, accept him for who he really is, together with all of his flaws.
18. Invest in self-care
When you’re trying to figure out how to become a better wife, you’re probably mostly focused on the things you can do about your husband.
However, what is also crucial is your own self-improvement that you should concentrate on.
Taking care of your husband is just one part of the process and self-care is the other. This means that you should put some effort into always looking your best.
Of course, nobody can ask you to wear a dress and have full make-up on every second of every day.
After all, that would be impossible since this is the man you’re living with and not just the guy you go out on date nights with.
However, what you can do is have special considerations for your personal hygiene. You can have clean and neat hair, remove your body hair regularly and smell good on all occasions.
Just because you’re married, it doesn’t mean that you should let loose and forget about your appearance. Your job is not done; you have to keep on seducing this man for as long as you two are together.
The same goes for your personality—it is also something you need to work on constantly if you want a successful marriage. Read, educate yourself and work on becoming a better woman before being a better wife.
Most importantly—make sure you are a happy woman because that is the only way to become a happy wife.
As much as we would all like to be happy and cheerful all the time, sadly, that is utterly impossible. You, like everyone else, have periods when you’re nervous, cranky and feel low.
Nevertheless, you can’t spread negative energy if you want to be a good wife to your spouse.
Trust me—your pessimism and bad mood he comes home to after a long day are the first things which might chase this man away.
19. Be romantic
If you want a healthy relationship with your spouse, don’t wait for a special occasion such as Valentine’s Day or your husband’s birthday to surprise him.
Even though you two live busy lives, make sure you go out on date nights and spend some quality alone time together.
You don’t have to throw huge romantic gestures every day but at least once in a while, surprise him by, for example, getting a babysitter and taking him out for a romantic dinner.
Show him that you love him the same on Valentine’s Day, your anniversary and every other day of the year.
20. Love him
Finally, the answer to the question ‘How can I be a better wife and improve my married life?’ is actually pretty simple.
Above all other things, if you want to be the best wife ever, just love your hubby with all of your heart and make sure he feels the depth of your emotions.
Don’t hold back any parts of yourself and show him how committed and dedicated you are to your happy marriage.
Show him that you’re still madly in love with him and that your love for him is unconditional and never-ending.
Prove to him that there is nothing you wouldn’t do for his sake and that you’re ready to fight for your relationship until your last breath.
I won’t lie to you—no matter how big it is, love is never enough. However, at the end of the day, it is crucial and without it, everything else is in vain and a healthy relationship is not possible.