7 cose negative che accadono se si va avanti troppo in fretta

Guarire e andare avanti con successo dopo una relazione disfunzionale è un sogno! Ma in realtà è un compito arduo.

Ognuno di noi ha i propri meccanismi di coping e la gestione del peso di una rottura può avvenire in una moltitudine di modi.

Ma una cosa che non è assolutamente incoraggiata dopo la fine di una relazione a lungo termine è quella di lasciarsela alle spalle troppo in fretta!

You may think you’re doing yourself a favor by doing everything you can to do dimenticarsi di lui and completely preoccupying yourself with different things, but you’re really not.

You can’t just erase a huge part of your life. You can’t just pretend that all never happened.

You CAN decide to ignore how you’re feeling and deny that you’re shattered and heartbroken, but eventually it’ll catch up with you.

E vi coglierà di sorpresa. E allora sarà ancora più difficile riprendersi e andare avanti.

If you don’t believe me, here is exactly how moving on too quickly can and will negatively affect you:

1. Se non si va fino in fondo, si finisce per reprimere le emozioni che alla fine ci raggiungono.

If you don’t let yourself process what happened and feel your feelings, it might happen on the worst day imaginable.

You’ll be drinking alone in your kitchen, listening to his favourite song, and it will just overcome you.

Tutto ciò che stavate cercando di seppellire in profondità e da cui vi allontanavate, all'improvviso tornerà a galla e vi coglierà di sorpresa. 

You won’t know how to deal with all of the emotions, and the fact that you’re drinking will only worsen and heighten the despair you’re feeling.

Ecco perché è necessario affrontare le emozioni nel tempo, fino a quando un giorno le cose inizieranno a migliorare.

2. Avere un ragazzo di ripiego non fa altro che rimandare la vostra sofferenza

Quando si decide di andare a letto con una persona troppo presto dopo che rottura con your man, you don’t get to heal.

You don’t get to deal with your issues. What you DO get is a postponed heartbreak that hits you twice as hard.

You’ll think you’re doing okay and that you’re forgetting all about him.

But what you’re actually doing is sleeping with a random stranger who is going to walk out in the morning and leave you to your own devices. And what then?

What happens when you’re alone with your feelings? You break down in tears and suffer in silence. Don’t do this to yourself. You know better.

3. Andare avanti troppo presto vi fa abbassare i vostri standard (e vi fa perdere cose incredibili)

By the end of it, you’ll just want somebody there. Somebody to comfort you and tell you it’s going to be okay.

A body to warm yours at night, and just somebody to listen to you. And it won’t really matter if this guy is actually a good guy or somebody with impure intentions.

You’ll just care to not be alone. And that is how you end up in a toxic relationship. You lower your standards for all the wrong reasons and end up in the arms of l'uomo sbagliato. 

It doesn’t mean it will definitely happen, but it can for sure. And is it really worth it? You might miss out on amazing things and a great man due to your impatience.

4. You can’t get your ex out of your head, no matter how hard you try

If you don’t heal properly, you’ll never be able to get your ex out of your head.

You will see him in every guy you sleep with and in every corner on the street. He’ll be a constant presence in your mind and it’ll drive you nuts.

Se non si guarisce lentamente e con pazienza, non si ha la possibilità di andare avanti.

How can you forget about someone if you don’t give yourself the chance to admit how broken you really are? You need to do what it takes to get over it in a way that helps you grow.

5. You’ll compare every guy you date to your ex-boyfriend

Whoever you end up with, they just won’t be able to compare to your ex.

They won’t be able to fill in your ex’s shoes and it will leave you devastated. You won’t want to compare, but you won’t be able to help yourself.

È stato tutto ciò che conoscevi per tanto tempo ed è diventato una misura per ciò di cui hai bisogno. E ora, con ogni nuovo ragazzo, nessuno sembra sapere come gestirti. 

E questo renderà ti manca like crazy. You will want him again, but you’ll know he’s no good for you, and that will make you suffer more than you actually need to.

6. You’ll give false hope to the next guy and it won’t be fair to him

You don’t want to hurt anybody, I know that, but that is exactly what you will end up doing.

By moving on too quickly, you’ll end up leading the next guy on and make him think he has an actual chance.

And we both know you’re in no place to make that kind of a decision so soon.

Avete bisogno di un po' di tempo da soli per riprendervi e capire di cosa avete bisogno in questo momento. E sai che saltare da una relazione all'altra troppo in fretta è l'esatto opposto di questo.

7. Vi farà venire voglia di tornare con il vostro ex

When you move on prematurely, you see what the world has to offer and it’s just not as good as you had it with your man.

Nothing seems worth the trouble and you just can’t bring yourself to really open up that way to anyone.

Your ex is the only one who made it all worth it (until he no longer did). And now, you don’t see yourself with anyone else, which will make you go back to something that is clearly not good for you anymore. 

You deny yourself a true chance at happiness by not letting yourself go through the healing process. That’s just not right.

You deserve more, and hopefully, you’ll see it too. Time heals all wounds, but you’ve got to let it do its thing first.