It’s never easy to get over somebody but what makes it all the more harder is when your heart doesn’t listen to your mind. You know deep down that you should let go completely but something inside of you keeps you holding on.
You are trying to make sense of your pain. You don’t understand why you feel physical pain because he is no longer a part of your life. You feel like a part of you is missing and you can’t believe it’s all over.
Getting over a break-up is especially sad when a lot of things are left unsaid or when you don’t see clear reasons why it all went south. So you keep on thinking and replaying different scenarios of what happened. You think that if you get an explanation good enough you will feel better but there is no reason enough to justify a broken heart.
The worst thing of all is that even though the relationship ended, your feelings are still there. You know everything is over and that there is no going back but you don’t know what to do with all this unrequited love inside of you.
Getting over someone is a long process, and getting over somebody you still have feelings for is far more complex. That’s why they are some things you can do to make it easier on yourself:
1. Stop romanticizing the past.
Everything wasn’t that great like you are picturing it right now in your head. He is not some perfect, flawless creature.
You know all that you went through with him, it’s just that it’s easier to think about the happy moments than the bad ones. See him for who he really is and you will instantly miss him less.
2. Stop trying to get to the bottom of things.
I know that it is excruciatingly hard when you don’t know the real reason for your relationship break-up. So you keep searching for one and sometimes you even blame yourself.
But the truth is that sometimes there is no reason for doing anything. Some people are just not meant to be together and whether you know the reason or not, it won’t be easier.
3. Let it hurt.
Sometimes we are so sick of all the hurt and pain a break-up causes that we try to block our emotions. We occupy ourself with all sorts of things just so the pain won’t catch us off guard.
We stop our tears and put on a fake smile even though we are falling apart from the inside. By blocking our pain we are just bottling up all these feelings of resentment and injustice and it is all bound to burst at some point.
Let it hurt. It’s supposed to hurt—it means your feelings were genuine. Let the pain come out through tears because tears can clean your soul.
4. Unfollow them on social media.
If not for them, do it for yourself. I know that a lot of women think if they unfollow him he will know how much he hurt them. So what? Who cares what he thinks?
The most important thing is to make it easier for you. And looking through his social media accounts will only make you feel worse.
It’s not for nothing that people say ‘out of sight, out of mind’.
5. Don’t force yourself to forget.
The most stupid advice you can get is, “Don’t think about him.” Like that’s something you can do on command.
It takes time to forget. The more you try to forget, the more you are focused on him, your pain and the entire situation. Instead of focusing on forgetting a person, focus on yourself.
Do things that make you happy. Relax and pamper yourself for a change. Do something that breaks your everyday routine.
6. Avoid all contact.
If he is still trying to be a part of your life but not actually being in a relationship with you, avoid contact with him.
Don’t give him boyfriend benefits when he is not your boyfriend. If you allow contact or continue to see each other, he will just lead you on and hurt you even more.
The best thing you can do is simply follow the no contact rule. And make a fresh start for yourself.
7. Concentrate on yourself.
Fall in love with yourself every day. Make yourself proud. Work on yourself for yourself.
Not with the purpose to forget him but with the purpose of making yourself proud of the person you are becoming. Be gentle with yourself and give things time to settle.
While you are busy with yourself, he will simply keep on fading away from your mind and from your heart.