The thing about a broken soul is that you can’t really see it’s broken just by looking at the person who owns it. Not even a girl with a broken soul can see it but she can feel every shattered piece hurting.
Souls don’t break so easily. It takes time. A hard life combined with unrequited love made small cracks. One after the other. Until it all went tumbling down, crumbling inside of her, into a million tiny pieces, just like a broken mirror.
But, from the outside that mirror is whole. It gives just an outside picture. And all those broken pieces are right inside of her, for no one to see. She wears a smile on the outside. A smile so beautiful nobody could ever guess everything that girl has been through. Sometimes, she can’t believe it herself.
She doesn’t know where she gets the strength to carry around that smile. She learned to live with pain. She lets it come out only at night. When she is all alone. When she has time to feel the pain. The pain comes out through tears that make her pillow completely wet.
She trusted too much. She loved too deeply. But it was the wrong man. She gave her best to get nothing in return. She trusted every time he said he would get his act together. She trusted when he said he was serious. She trusted when he said she was his forever and always. He promised her the world and gave her hell.
Life treated her badly. When one thing went wrong, it seemed that everything else went wrong too. It all fell down like a house of cards; troubles at home, fights with friends, broken health, broken trust and a broken heart.
But she got so used to pain that she derived her strength from it.
So, every morning she gets up. She never complains. She breathes. She exists. She tries. And even though she is broken she is never the one to ask for help. She appears strong. She acts tough. She is the first one to help everybody around her. She gives everything she wishes somebody would give her.
She is trying not to fall apart. She learned to live with her brokenness. She is trying to keep the goodness she has inside. She is fighting because she doesn’t want to lose herself. She doesn’t want to become bitter.
She knows she has good days too. She knows she has happiness, no matter how little it might seem at times. Sometimes pain clouds the good things in life. But she is well aware of it. She holds onto it with everything she has. It gives her strength to keep on trying, to keep on going forward.
Her skin thickened from everything she’s been through. She is not about to give up.
She is a fighter after all. She is a survivor. She is keeping those broken pieces together, hoping that she will find a way to glue them back together one day.