I know love is an emotion. And I am very well aware that emotions can’t be controlled by our mind.

I know this better than anyone else.

Because ever since I can remember, I was someone who followed her heart blindly. I was someone who was always putting her emotions in front of her reason.

And I was doing this even when I knew my heart wasn’t making the right choices. I was doing it even when I knew that I shouldn’t be feeling some of the things I felt.

Put simply, my feelings were always stronger than everything. They were always stronger than me. And there was nothing I could have done or wanted to do about it.

This was especially the case with my love toward you.

From the moment I fell in love with you, I lost control over myself completely. My love for you consumed me and it took over me.

And it continued this way for years.

My love for you was the strongest force in my life, even when you were the last person I should have loved. My love for you was unconditional and unquestionable, even when you were causing me pain and when you were doing me harm.

My love for you continued to live inside of me even once you walked away from me and even when you stopped loving me.

I can’t say I didn’t fight it. Because I certainly did.

I prayed to God every night to show me the way to unlove you, to help me get over you and to move on with my life. I prayed for a miracle to happen, for a magic wand to appear in my hands, which would delete you from my memory for good.

And then it hit meI didn’t need a miracle. I didn’t need a heavenly force to erase you from my heart and mind.

All I needed was a strong will.

Yes, my feelings for you have always been deep and strong. But they certainly weren’t stronger than I was.

So I finally decided it was about time I stopped wasting my time thinking of you.

It was about time I stopped waiting for you to come back and about time to stop crying over you.

It was about time for me to get over you and to move on with my life, the same way you did a long time ago.

It was about time for me to stop loving you.

And that is exactly what I’ve done.

I’m not going to lie to youit was anything but easy and it didn’t happen overnight. I didn’t magically forget all about you. It was a painful process that lasted a long time.

But my healing process began from that moment on. My decision to stop loving you was the first step to my recovery.

And that was when I realized that all of this time I subconsciously didn’t want to stop loving you. I was the one still holding on to you and to our past.

I was the one still giving you second chances in my head, hoping that you’d come back and hoping we’d continue where we left off. I was actually giving you the chances you never asked for.

And all of that happened because of my fear.

I was so used to the pain and I was so used to you living inside of me that I was simply afraid to step out of this madness. As much as this might sound crazy, I was afraid because my pain and my love for you had become my comfort zone.

I was afraid because I didn’t know what I would do with myself without you inside of me, without thinking of you, without waiting for you to come back and without loving you.

I was afraid to face real life and what was left of it without you in it. I was scared of my future without you and I thought holding on to you was a better option.

And all of that changed the moment I made the decision to stop loving you.

This moment helped me see how strong I was and it helped me see that I was a complete person on my own.

But most of all, this decision helped me see I was the only one in control of myself.

And it was the best decision of my life.