Do you truly love someone you just broke up with? Are you trying to unlove him? Does it seem like a mission impossible? Breaking news: it’s not. Believe it or not, it is possible to unlove someone. Of course, if it was true love, it’ll never go away. But since you’ve broken up with him, the chances that it’s true love are extremely low. And since it’s not true love, it can go away. If you’re looking for a way to speed that process up, then you’re in the right place. Get ready to give yourself some time to heal. And by following the steps below, the healing time will fly, right before your eyes. In a short time, you’ll find yourself free from this love and able to love someone else.

How to unlove someone

Here are the tips and tricks to help you unlove someone in the shortest possible time:

1. Don’t put too much effort into forgetting him.

In fact, don’t even focus on the thought of forgetting him at all. Distract yourself with something else. Focus on yourself and your work or school. Try accomplishing as much as possible in other areas of your life and you’ll forget about your love life in a second. If you focus on unloving him, you’ll end up thinking about him all the time, and that is not a good path to walk on.

2. Fall in love with SOMETHING else.

The worst thing you can do after a break-up is to get involved with another person. You’ll end up comparing that new guy to your ex-boyfriend. Your wounds will never heal that way. It would be torture trying to have a good time with someone and still remembering the good times you used to have with someone else. Instead, be free to fall in love with something else. The best way to unlove someone is to express that love toward something completely different. Whether it’s your job, a hobby, or some old passion of yours you completely forgot about. Simply choose to do something you love and you’ll end up focusing only on that. Ex who?

3. Disconnect from him.

Feel free to unfollow him on any social media. It’s not a childish act, it’s an act of a grown woman who knows that there is a bit of truth in the old saying: ‘Far from the eyes, far from the heart’. You don’t have to be tempted to watch his Instagram Stories a couple of times a day. You don’t need to know what he’s doing or where he’s going. It’s okay to act like he doesn’t even exist for a while. In order to unlove someone, you must first forget about him. It wouldn’t be like he had never even been a part of your life, it would be more like he’d been a part of your life but that happened so long ago that you barely remember.

4. Spend time with yourself.

Now that you’re not in a relationship anymore, you have much more free time. What you choose to do with that time could benefit you in many ways. You can now focus on self-growth. And booty growth as well! Hit the gym. Make your body healthy and your muscles stronger. Or, in case you don’t like going to the gym, you can always spend some time in nature. Go hiking, biking, skiing… There are many activities you can do that benefit your health. Don’t take it for granted. Your health should be your number one priority. Now that you have time, you can start a healthier lifestyle full of hobbies you enjoy doing. Once you remind yourself how much you love life, you’ll know how to unlove anything else that doesn’t benefit you in any way.

5. Spend time with your friends and family.

Your friends can join you at the gym. Or you could take a trip with your family. Reconnect with other people from your life through different activities. The love you have left to give, give to your friends and family, to those who are always by your side. They deserve that kind of love and you deserve to let it out of your system. It’s better to focus on loving them instead of loving some random guy who’s not worthy of your love. The process of unloving someone results in loving everything else that has a part in your life, starting with yourself, your interests and your family. Don’t ever take these things for granted. Even when you find a new love, don’t immediately put him as your priority. He needs to find a way to climb up that list.

6. Don’t think about love.

Don’t think about your love life. Don’t think about your future husband and how many kids you’ll have with him. Don’t imagine what your life is going to be like. Leave those thoughts to your future self. All you need to do right now is focus on loving yourself and the things mentioned in the second step. Also, besides focusing on your health in general, you need to spend some time working on your mental health. Put some healthy thoughts about life in your mind and try living up to them. If you are mentally healthy that means you are aware of everything that’s happening in your life and that you are able to control your emotions. After being that, any process of loving and unloving or expressing any kind of emotion won’t be that hard.

7. Take some time to think about your relationship.

After you have taken some time not to think about it, you need to take the time to face it. Face the fact that you’ve been in a relationship. You are now single. Now that you partially stopped loving someone, it’s time to figure out why. Why did you stop loving him? Was it love at all? What were the problems in your relationship? Who initialized the break-up? What kind of problems did you face in your relationship? When you find the answers to all these questions, you’ll be able to completely move on. Consider this some kind of heart-cleansing. If you want to totally unlove someone, you should remember why you started loving him and why you want to unlove him.

8. Accept it.

You are single now. You are who you are. You love what you love. Accept your life the way it is. Self-acceptance is important in order to live your life to the fullest. By accepting yourself the way you are, you will be easier to love and the future of your love life won’t be that dark after all. Making yourself feel bad about things that happen to you won’t make you lovable; it’ll only make you less attractive. The most attractive thing about a girl is her smile, so use any excuse possible to put one on your face. And once you face these things, your life will be easier to handle.

9. Socialize.

If you’ve done all of the steps by far—congrats, you’re almost over him! Of course, there has to be one little spark left inside your heart but it won’t be a problem once you start dating again. Go out. Spend some time with your friends. Have fun. Meet new people. Once you meet someone new, you’ll start developing feelings toward that person and the spark that was still burning for your ex will be put out forever. But be careful! Don’t settle for the first guy you meet. It takes time to truly meet someone so don’t rush into anything. Explore the dating scene, have fun and above all, be patient. The right guy will come to you when you deserve it. Don’t worry, destiny has perfect timing. Falling in love is easier than falling out of love so it’ll take you less time to meet someone new and fall in love again than to unlove someone.

10. Talk to a therapist.

If all else fails, you can always go and talk to a professional. Don’t be ashamed of that. It’s a shame not to admit when you need help. You have to be able to understand your feelings and your needs. Maybe you not getting over him is a problem that has deeper roots. Maybe you have some issues you didn’t even know about or it is possible that you’re still hurt from some childhood trauma you had. Or it could be that you have abandonment issues. Anyway, it is good to talk to someone simply to check on yourself. It won’t do you harm, it could only benefit you.

Congratulations! You’ve come to the end of your healing path. You now know how to unlove someone. You are ready to fill your heart with new excitement and happiness. You can conquer every aspect of your life. You can face every situation that comes before you. You are stronger than ever. Don’t let anyone ruin what you’ve just built. Be your own rock and always remember to love yourself first. Take care of your health and your emotions. Don’t ever be harsh on yourself. You are only human and you don’t heal as easily as you’d like. The key to loving and unloving someone is understanding your emotions. Always be prepared to cope with them. Respect your emotions and they will respect you. As long as you don’t let them overrule you, you’ll be fine.

And remember: nothing is as attractive as a smile on your face.