Have you ever met someone and felt instantly drawn, like sparks were traveling from your body to theirs and made it tremble? You felt like you were having some outer body experience, something just clicked and all of a sudden you found yourself in a world made for two. Somehow your intuition whispered to you that he felt the same way. Well, that’s what happens when there’s chemistry between two people.
The thing about chemistry is that it cannot be forced. It’s a natural, undeniable connection between two people. The kind of connection everybody longs for but few really find. Mutual chemistry is one of the best ways in which you can start a relationship but it’s not bulletproof and it can be misleading.
So while chemistry is important, what’s even more important is creating something from it. People who share it must figure out if there is something more to that chemistry besides attraction.
Do they connect on every other level? Do they have what is needed to enter into a relationship? Are they potential soulmates? Are there any signs of emotional attraction?
All in all, the best way to look at the chemistry between two people is by considering it as an enormous potential for a great relationship. It’s the first step toward something that could be amazing if the people who share it are compatible, if they have really found each other in every aspect and at every level and if they are willing to work from the chemistry toward a relationship by putting in mutual effort.
If you are experiencing this kind of magnetism with somebody and you believe that there is something more to it, there will be some powerful signs of chemistry between you two that you just cannot miss:
You feel drawn to each other without any apparent reason. You may have only exchanged a few words and you barely know each other but there is that familiar feeling present all the time. It feels like you already know each other more intimately. You just feel like you are in their thoughts as much as they are in yours and you can’t explain why that is so. It’s some kind of vibe in the air between you two and even though it cannot be seen, it is very much felt. That vibe is what makes you gravitate toward each other.
2. The eyes never lie
You just can’t keep your eyes off of each other. You check each other out from top to bottom and sometimes even share prolonged eye contact, though locking eyes is not always easy. There is that sense of shyness that comes over you and when you realize that they have caught you staring, you look away and pretend like nothing happened. And it happens the other way around too. And even though it might seem childish, it doesn’t make it any less true. That childishness gives the chemistry you are experiencing some kind of flavor.
3. Your smile is your telltale sign
There is no better proof of chemistry that can say more than a simple smile. Every time the object of your affection crosses your path, you can’t help but smile. The thing is you smile with your heart and your soul and not just your face, so the endearment you feel toward each other is undeniable. It’s funny how somebody who is practically a stranger can make your entire day brighter and that’s what chemistry is all about.
4. You speak the same language
I am really tempted to say the language of love here but it sounds so corny, even though it’s true to a certain extent. But it’s not just about the possibility of love here. It’s like you found a part of you in somebody else. Like you found your new best friend and something more at the same time, someone you can confide in.
Whatever the topic you’re talking about, you get each other without any need for lengthy explanations. You can finish off each other’s thoughts. You have similar viewpoints. You are the only two in a crowded room who laugh at the same joke. You are both fluent in sarcasm.
5. Pleasant sounds of silence
Even when you are in situations where there is no need to speak, you feel comfortable. There is no need to force conversation if you don’t feel like talking. You might be tired or drained from a hectic day or you might be experiencing some difficulties. Whatever it is, the silence between you is never awkward. And even when you don’t say anything, you feel each other’s presence and that brings you both peace and joy.
6. Butterflies in your stomach have gone crazy
Every time you know you will meet, you feel nervous. But it’s a good nervous because you feel so excited that you know you will see the person you really, truly like. It’s that anticipation that’s making those butterflies in your stomach seem more like elephants. And when you finally meet, both of your hearts start pounding like crazy that you can almost hear them. But what you can’t hide is that nervous feeling that’s making you a bit jumpy, a bit silly and not to mention clumsy every time you are close.
7. You are always focused on each other
When you are among a few friends or in a larger group of people, you always pay attention to what your other chemical half has to say, even in situations where all the other people choose to ignore them completely. At times you notice that they are listening even when they show no sign of it because they are the only one giving you some kind of feedback. Not to mention that your sole focus is on them so there is no doubt that the chemistry is mutual.
8. Body language speaks volumes
It’s not just locking eyes and exchanging looks; if you look close enough, you will see that their pupils get dilated. According to scientists, this happens when we are in close proximity of the person we like and we are extremely excited to see them. There are a lot of body language signs that can tell in-depth stories about the chemistry, such as taking deep breaths, rosy cheeks, mimicking each other’s moves, licking your lips, leaning toward you, slightly touching your arm and so on. The bottom line is body language can’t conceal mutual chemistry, it only amplifies it.
9. Anticipation of your next encounter
You can’t wait to meet again. You count the days, hours and minutes until you are able to share the same air because it’s not important what you do or where you go—it’s about being around them that makes you happy. You both make moves to arrange some group get-together just so each other would show up. You are always the last ones to leave those get-togethers because you get caught up talking about anything and everything. You catch yourself never wanting to leave each other’s sight.
10. Sweetly annoying each other
You pick on each other for no reason. You are just into it to provoke a reaction or to test the territory and see where the other one stands in certain situations. You never have the intention to offend or to make the other one feel bad. This is more like a game of words you use to keep things interesting, directing the conversation in some funny, bickering way. Your friends probably already picked up on that and they labeled you as an old married couple.
11. Subtly flirtatious
You don’t want anybody around you to notice that there is something more than meets the eye happening between the two of you. Probably because you yourselves are still figuring things out and reading the signs, that’s why you engage in subtle flirtations.
So innocent kisses on the cheek feel so intense to both of you, hugs last way longer than they should, and you always squeeze each other tight, possibly moving your hand up and down each other’s back. Every physical contact is polite and friendly but at the same time so tense that it is beyond words.
And as I already said, you have your own kind of language so you use it to flirt too, without making it too obvious. You even might be exchanging some flirty texts. The texts serve as proof that the chemistry between you is so strong that you still feel close and connected even when they are not around.
12. Time is a relative thing
Every time you spend time with each other, you lose track of time. So 5 hours you spend hanging out feels more like 5 minutes. It just flies by so quickly without you even noticing it. And you know what they say—time flies when you are having fun.
But time also flies when you are with the right person. When you are with the right person, there are numerous topics to talk about and you couldn’t get bored of each other if you wanted to. Even if you were sitting in complete silence, you would still enjoy each other’s company.
The thing is, you connected in a way you never thought possible. You have never experienced this with anyone else, that’s why there is never enough time and everything ends too soon.
13. It’s all about the little things
You notice that new shirt they are wearing and you compliment them on it. You notice that they just had a new haircut that’s making them look hot. They remember you said you loved coconut chocolate so they will surprise you with that same chocolate next time. You remember how they take their coffee. They can remember a story you told them a month ago and can even retell it if necessary.
The signs of chemistry are the most noticeable if you pay attention to those little (though nevertheless big) things. The details everybody else misses but you keep track of because the other person is important and you are both more than interested in each other.
14. Mystery and anticipation
Mystery and chemistry go hand in hand. You don’t necessarily have to know the person well that you are feeling drawn to. The mystery is what gets you hooked. You want to know more and more about the other person. And naturally, we start figuring out the best ways to achieve that.
So in a way, chemistry can be seen as a puzzle you are both eager to solve. You have some facts and knowledge about each other but most of it is assumed. So getting to know each other better and solving the mystery will also show you if this chemistry between two people is really sustainable and if there are any grounds on which you can start forming a relationship.
It’s never a good idea to reveal too much too soon, so take your time solving the puzzle. Get to know each other one step at a time. A bit of mystery is good for both of you.
15. The inevitable sexual tension between you
The chemistry you share makes every situation you are in incredibly tense. You feel drawn to each other in every sense, so sexually isn’t excluded. Through all the signs mentioned above, your lust for each other is intertwined somehow. Your jokes are filled with sexual implications. Your bodies are filled with sexual tension that is just waiting to be relieved.
Physical attraction and sexual tension surely aren’t the most important signs of chemistry but are equally important as the rest. The best type of chemistry is the one that includes all the components of body, soul, and mind and with these you will find that you are one step closer to finding someone to spend your forever with.
In addition to these 15 signs of chemistry between two people, there is also a scientific explanation why chemistry occurs. In short, certain parts of the brain get activated and we release hormones like oxytocin, adrenaline, dopamine, etc. And while that’s all true, I prefer to look at chemistry as something more spiritual, something that shifts inside of you and says ‘I like that person and I want to spend as much time as I can with them’. Something so simple but also beautiful and unique that doesn’t come by in life so often.
Some people experience chemistry a few times in their life. They have outgoing personalities and somehow it’s easier for them to communicate, open up and find something familiar in another person and bond with them. Of course, when they finally find the person they are supposed to spend their forever with, they will just know, there will be no second-guessing, no doubts and the chemistry they share will be stronger than any they have ever felt before.
Then there are people who have never felt it. But that’s no reason to think they never will. They might be shy, too busy for dating, or burned from a past relationship, so their trust issues prevent them from forming new connections. However, when the right person comes along, there is no escaping it.
One more important thing to address here is something I would label as toxic chemistry. As opposed to romantic chemistry, toxic chemistry happens when you go against your better judgment. It happens when you know from the start that no matter how much you are drawn to someone, that they will be bad news.
When we decide to ignore our intuition and all the red flag signs appearing in front of our nose, that’s where chemistry backfires on us. So when it comes to any kind of chemistry, the best thing we can do is rely on our intuition, follow our heart and in any case take our brain with us so we can avoid danger if it crosses our path.
Leah Lee – Writer. Dreamer. Adventurer. Eternal Optimist.
I am an English language and literature professor and writing came naturally alongside that. It was something I did for me until I decided to share it with the rest of the world.
I write about love, emotions, relationship issues and ways to solve them and most importantly about empowering women to become the best versions of themselves.
My inspiration comes from all that I’ve been through in life, and it was a bumpy road but full of valuable lessons. I hope that my experience will do some good to all of those who like to read my work.