Okay, so since you’re here, reading this, I’m guessing there’s a guy out there you’re falling pretty hard for, am I right?
And you’re kind of scared that these feeling could be one-sided, so you’re trying everything in your power to somehow make him fall for you just as much as you have fallen for him. Am I getting close?
The thing about love is, if you have to force it, it probably isn’t right. So first, make sure that you’re fighting for the right guy, and when you’re sure he’s worth your time and affection, get to the business of making him fall for you—which I’m going to make much easier for you, so pay close attention.
Love comes to everyone at their own time. You can’t rush these things. I know you’re adamant in trying to get him to fall head over heels for you, but the most important thing here is patience. You can’t speed up love, otherwise you’ll only blow it.
One other thing to remember is not everyone is meant to be. If this doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, nor does it mean that you should blame yourself. What it does mean is that sometimes, it’s just doesn’t work out. And as hard as it is to understand as it’s happening, you’ll always understand why it had to turn out the way it did after healing and after being able to see it more clearly.
Give it time. Only he knows what he’s been through and what his experiences with love have been. He might need time, so be understanding and patient. If it’s right, he’s going to reciprocate your feelings, and if not, you can move on, knowing you gave it your all.
15 tips on how to make a guy fall in love with you:
1. Let him feel needed
Look, men just love to know they’re needed. It’s a guy thing. It doesn’t have to mean that you are dependent on him, nor does it make you any less amazing in your own right.
I’m sure you’re perfectly capable of killing that spider that won’t leave your bedside or maybe even changing a tire, but all I’m saying is, it doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to do all these things yourself.
Now that you know that your man actually wants you to call on him for these minor inconveniences, why not take advantage of it, and kill two birds with one stone! First, you’re going to save yourself the trouble of having to actually kill that spider and risk getting all that web on yourself, and second, you’re going to boost your guy’s ego, by needing him for this manly task. I’d call that a success.
Now, if you’ve been single for some time now, you’re probably used to being your own handyman and doing literally everything by yourself. Being single really does make you see how awesome and capable you really are, doesn’t it?
But that also means if you want this guy’s love and attention, you’re going to have to suck it up from time to time and actually ask for his help. Otherwise, he’s going to feel redundant.
If there’s something you know your guy would handle perfectly, don’t hesitate to call him. That’s literally all you need to do. Ask for his help.
And in return, you’ll get two things. First, you’re going to see how nice it is to have somebody to lean on and help you out at times, and second, you’re going to give him a purpose. He likes you too, don’t forget that, so it’s going to mean a bunch to him, as well.
2. Spend some healthy time apart (which will make him see how much he misses you)
I know that right now all you want is to be with this guy 24/7, and I can get that. But hear me out. You can still spend insane amounts of time with him, just don’t give him all of you this fast.
Spending time apart is really positive for couples, especially those in a long-term relationship. Why? Because for the most part, it gives you a chance to miss each other. But also because you don’t want to be that girl, the one who abandons her girlfriends the moment she gets a guy. (Don’t be that girl.)
You still have other people in your life who love you and who want to spend time with you. Don’t take them for granted just because you have a man you’re obsessed with right now. Hang out with your friends, visit your family, tell your grandma how happy you are (she’s going to be the happiest one for you) and dedicate your time to them.
And by the time you see your guy again, you’re going to realize how much you missed him and appreciate his love that much more. It’s nice knowing there’s someone out there you can go back to who will miss you just as much as you miss them, isn’t it? So give yourself a chance to experience that!
Also, you’re going to have so much to talk about after spending time apart. See, it’s literally all good things! So make him miss you a little… it will only make him think of you, and when he thinks of you, he also thinks about the feelings he has for you, and I think you know where I’m going with this.
3. Flatter him (but only when he deserves it)
You don’t have to make stuff up that isn’t true. What I’m talking about here is much simpler. Let’s say you’re meeting him for a date night. He shows up, picks you up, and he looks so hot in that shirt. Just tell him exactly what you thought when you saw him!
Or if his hair look especially amazing that day… how hard is it to tell him that? Guys love to be complimented just as much as girls do! Just because they won’t giggle and get all shy when they hear a compliment doesn’t mean they don’t like it!
All it means is they’re feeling too manly to let it get to their head, but they really do appreciate flattery every once in a while.
You how much you love to hear how good you look (don’t we all?), so why not make the guy you like so much feel good about himself as well!
4. Be REAL (never dumb down your intellect!)
I’ve heard so many people say that girls should dumb it down for guys, to make them feel superior, and all I can say is: “What the actual fu*k?”
Why on Earth would I want to pretend to be something that I’m NOT just for some dude to feel better about himself?? That thought has never crossed my mind, and it shouldn’t cross yours either! If you have to pretend to be less amazing, less smart or less ANYTHING, steer clear of that guy.
In this day and age, to hear this ignorant stupidity really baffles me… after all the years of evolution, this is what we’ve come to? No, thank you.
If there is anyone in this world who feels threatened by your intelligence and capabilities, then that person has a problem that has nothing to do with you. Let them resolve it within themselves, and keep being your badass self.
Never let anyone steal your shine and reduce you to something you have no interest in being. Like Ariana says: Thank you, next.
5. Appreciate his masculine side
This doesn’t mean that you have to jump on him every time you see him and admire his muscles with loud moans and such. No. You can literally take this however you want, depending on what masculinity represents to you!
You can appreciate his manly physical aspects, for sure, but in a more subtle way. I feel like it’s sexier that way, anyway. Don’t scream how hot he is. Rather do it softly and quietly.
If you’re strolling down the street, just squeeze his arms a little tighter, and when you feel his muscles a bit, just make an impressed face and wink! That’s all it takes.
Being masculine isn’t necessarily all about looking butch and manly. For me personally, being a real man means treating people kindly and with respect. Helping an older person cross the street or helping them carry their grocery bag.
Also, for me, a real man is being patient and not expecting things to go his way, but rather working for everything and being thankful when things go right.
Appreciate tact above vanity, kindness above entitlement and a helping hand above turning a blind eye. And when you’ve got a guy who can check all those boxes, you’ve got yourself a real man.
And that is always something you can admire.
6. Don’t rush with your profession of love
As I’ve already stated in the beginning, patience truly is of utmost importance here. You can’t rush feelings. You can’t rush love. And you can’t rush anyone into feeling something that isn’t there yet.
I understand you’re over the moon for the guy. I know that you love to spend as much time with him as possible, and you truly feel like he could be a good partner to you in the long run. And that’s all amazing. But don’t jump the gun here. Be smart.
Not everyone’s feelings develop at the same pace, and you don’t want him to feel unprepared and surprised with your speedy declaration of love.
Here’s what you should do if you really can’t help but talk about it. It’s really simple. Go to your best friend, and tell her all about your feelings. Tell her how much you want to share it with him. She’s the one who really knows you, so listen to what she has to say!
If she tells you that it’s too soon, and you’re probably going to embarrass yourself with saying those three words too soon, listen to her! She loves you, and she literally only wants the best for you. If she can tell you objectively how things really are, pay attention and listen to her advice.
If you rush this, you might risk putting him in an uncomfortable position, one in which he just isn’t sure at the moment and needs time to process his feelings and return the sentiment. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the same way. All it means is that he needs time.
You should always respect his time, as not everybody is on the same page at the same time. If he feels it, he’s going to show it, one way or another, just don’t pressure him.
7. Don’t be afraid to tell him he’s in your thoughts
In the early stages of any relationship, one or both parties are always hesitant to tell the other one they’re thinking of them, due to fear of sounding too straightforward a little too soon.
This is understandable, as you’re both trying to protect each other from feeling hurt and/or disappointed by the reply. But let me tell you, things have really changed these days, and for the good! It’s no longer frowned upon to tell your man you’re thinking of him; it’s actually quite cute!
You love hearing that he’s thinking of you or that he misses you, so don’t hold back in reciprocating! It’s going to put a smile on his face, for sure!
You don’t have to be too overbearing with this. Just send a cute text saying that something you just saw reminded you of him and now he’s in your thoughts. He’s going to think it’s cute, and it’s really not that bad even if he doesn’t as this is a really innocent text.
Most guys will know how to appreciate this. If he feels pressured by this cute, little text, then he’s probably not the right guy for you anyway.
8. Always support him and encourage him
One of the most fundamental aspects in a relationship is support. You need to be there for your partner and show him that you support his ideas and ambitions, and don’t doubt him. He’s probably full of doubts himself, so be his cheerleader instead.
If he’s into sports that you really don’t get and/or are totally not interested in, you don’t have to suddenly become an avid fan of them. Just learn a thing or two about it, so you can ask him about how his favorite team did in the playoffs or something similar.
If he’s into rock climbing and you’re afraid of heights, you most certainly don’t have to become his climbing buddy. Just support him and make sure to ask him how it went and a bunch of follow-up questions. Guys love those because they show that you actually pay attention and are interested in their hobby!
If he’s up for an important promotion at work and he’s a nervous wreck, don’t add oil to the fire and make him doubt himself even more. Rather, tell him how proud of him you are and that he’s amazing regardless of how this goes! Make him see his worth in your eyes.
He’s going to feel so much better having you as his main support system, no matter what he’s going through. Things are just easier with somebody by your side, supporting you and cheering you on.
Be that for your guy! Knowing you’ve got his back is going to strengthen the bond you already have and also make him see how much he really cares for you. And isn’t that all you really need in life?
Support your man the way he supports you. Appreciate each other’s strengths, and encourage each other through your weaknesses.
9. Love him for who he is and never try to change him
Don’t love him for parts of him that are to your liking and try to change the parts you don’t like. That’s not how love works.
Sure, there’s always going to be something that you’re not totally ecstatic about, but the sooner you learn to accept ALL of him and not just parts you approve of, the sooner you’ll learn what real love is all about.
Acceptance. That’s the magic word. The easiest way to make him fall in love with you is to accept him exactly for who he is. There’s always going to be something that will annoy you, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned about men, it’s that you can never change them. No matter how hard you try.
They are who they are. Of course, I’m talking about minor, annoying habits here, I’m not talking about treating you badly in any way! Anything other than that, you’re going to have to learn to live with.
So what if he has an annoying habit, who doesn’t? I’m sure he feels the same way about you (nobody is perfect!), and he’s never tried to change that about you, right?
So do the same for him, and accept his quirks and flaws as part of the package. That is the only way to get a guy to fall in love with you.
10. Hear what he’s saying
Don’t just listen to him with one ear, and text with your girlfriends at the same time while also checking your Instagram feed. Really listen when he’s talking, and observe nonverbal clues. Those are usually more telling than what he actually says.
When you pay attention to when he’s talking, you’re giving yourself a chance to get to know him better, and see what gets on his nerves and what excites him most about life. Observe his body language. See what he’s not telling you with words.
The way his body follows his words is really revealing. You’ll be able to really delve deep into his mind and find out more about him than he may be willing to share verbally.
Learn to pick up on those tiny, nonverbal signs that he is unknowingly giving out. You’ll know more about him from that then from what he’s actually saying.
Also, just listen, and be a good partner to him. If you want to know how to make him fall madly in love with you, you’ll learn by listening to what he’s saying. It’s really that simple.
11. Small gestures let him see how much you appreciate him
You know how you love it when he surprises you with those little, everyday things that somehow always turn out to be big things? Like remembering how you really wanted that book a few weeks ago and then surprising you with it on your birthday?
Or sending you your favorite flowers to work, just to make your day? Even just making your coffee the minute you wake up because he knows you can’t start your morning without a huge cup of black coffee.
Well, now it’s your turn to do the same for him!
The best way to make him fall in love with you is to show him how appreciated he is with small gestures that will melt his heart!
This is where the listening part really comes in handy! You never know what you might pick up on, so pay attention. Listen to when he’s talking about things he’s passionate about; things he loves and appreciates, and stuff he wishes he had but never got the chance to get.
Figure out the best way to surprise him, and get him one of those things he yearns for but for some reason never decided to purchase. It really doesn’t have to be anything expensive, as long as it’s from the heart.
Get him something that will make him think: “Oh my God, she actually listened when I talked about this last month. How rad!’’
He’ll love it more than any expensive gift. Knowing that you pay attention to what he likes and what makes him happy and actually going out of your way to get it for him shows your appreciation and dedication.
And if that doesn’t make this man fall in love with you, than I honestly don’t know what will. (But it will, don’t worry, just give it time if needed!)
12. Don’t insult his sense of humor
I know a guy who has this weird sense of humor that not everybody gets, but he’s funny in his own way. And it never crossed my mind to tell him anything about it as I truly feel that everybody has their own little quirks that make them stand out from the rest. And that’s his!
I find it endearing how he always has to tell a joke wherever he is, and he feels so confident, no matter how many people laugh (or don’t laugh). I always know that it comes from a kind place, so I never try to diminish it.
My point is, appreciate your man’s weird little things. That is what makes him different from the rest and makes him unique in his own way. It’s easy to follow the crowd and blend in with everybody, but it’s difficult being true to yourself and not caring what the crowd thinks.
Let him have this. Let him be funny, and learn to appreciate it. It’s what makes him who he is, and that’s the guy you’ve fallen for, isn’t it? So don’t change him.
Think about all the little things he might not like about you, but he’d never say anything. He knows better. And he’s learned how to like you even more for them. So do the same for him. If no one else will, laugh at his jokes, and make his day.
13. Have a little faith in him
When you’ve been hurt before, trust doesn’t come that easily for you. I get that. And it’s perfectly understandable to build a wall around you, in order to protect yourself.
But have a little faith. Understand that this guy isn’t the one from your past who hurt you when you were at your most vulnerable, who took your heart and then shattered it into little pieces. That was a difficult time, but this is also a different man, and whether you believe it or not, they’re not all the same!
Learn to trust him and have faith that he might actually be exactly who he says he is. I’m not saying to give him your whole heart on a silver platter, but throw him a bone, and see if he can appreciate it. My guess is, he will.
If you’re usually the one who takes control of the decision-making in the relationship, try to hand the wheel over to your guy. I know it’s hard letting go of control, but it might actually be just the thing you need.
Let him show you he’s capable of taking care of you. Let him show you that he is capable of making decisions in your relationship, and let him plan that weekend trip for once. He just might surprise you!
If he senses that you don’t have any faith in him and that you’re not able to let him make a single decision, he’s not going to put up with that. Trust is a crucial part of a long-term relationship. And if you want him to fall in love with you, you’re going to have to show him that you trust him enough to let go of your need to control everything and let him in.
If you really love him, you also must trust him. That is the basis of a healthy relationship. If you want him to be your partner in the long run, you’re also going to have to be a good partner to him.
14. Keep your independence
A lot of girls tend to lose sight of who they are when they fall head over heels for a guy. At the beginning stages of a relationship that can be understandable to an extent, but it shouldn’t last for long.
A guy likes to know that you’re an independent woman who doesn’t depend on him for anything and who is capable of taking care of herself if needed. It’s one thing to make him feel needed in certain situations, but you also need to show him that you are your own woman who goes after what she wants and spends quality time with people she cares about.
Like I previously said, a little separate time in a relationship is healthy and needed. That is what’s going to make you miss your partner and appreciate him.
But not being able to cross the street without him is unattractive to say the least. Be your own woman and love your man, but allow a little space for other things you’re passionate about.
Never lose sight of yourself for a man who can turn out to be a feeble presence in your life.
15. Have opinions and engage him intellectually
Men are attracted to smart, savvy, ambitious women. Those who can’t appreciate that aren’t men but boys.
Have intellectual conversations with him. Delve into deep subjects you are both interested in, and discuss your passions and current events in the world. Have meaningful conversations, and show him how smart and intelligent you are.
Make him see you’re not just a catch. You also have brains to back it up! If he’s a real man, he’s going to fall madly in love with you for your intellect. It’s great to be able to stimulate him in the sack… but when you stimulate his mind, that’s when you know you’ll have him hooked.
Relationships tend to go stale when you run out of things to talk about. Don’t let that happen. Keep things fresh, and never rely just on your looks. You’re so much more than just a good catch.
Make him see the girl he’s about to fall madly in love with, and make him never want to let you go!