When you love, you always make sure to devote all of yourself to your loved one and you would never cheat on them or do anything to make them sad.
But there’s this one problem that keeps popping up every time you find yourself in a relationship.
You keep falling out of love without knowing why or how.
You rewind your every single word or action to understand why this phenomenon keeps repeating over and over again but you can’t find any valid reason for it.
And as a result, you become so tired of it, swearing that you’ll stay forever single.
If you’re wondering why this keeps happening, the only true reason is that you’re probably giving too much of yourself in every relationship you enter, which makes you lose yourself and fall out of love soon.
When you give too much without receiving the same, you lose a sense of yourself and you’re no longer the same person.
By going out of your way to meet other people’s expectations and desires, you are destroying yourself and your chance to be happy and that is why you fall out of love every time this happens.
If you suspect that this might be the case with you, then you should ask yourself the following 8 questions to understand the core of this problem!
1. Do you often find yourself in relationships where your needs are not being reciprocated?
Reciprocity is the most important and crucial thing when it comes to establishing a healthy relationship and if your relationship lacks it, you’ll soon find yourself falling out of love.
No matter how much you give, you will never be able to save your relationship because that’s not how things work.
Reciprocity means selfless giving and receiving and not only receiving.
If you keep finding yourself in relationships where you’re always the one who gives more and receives less, the reason behind it could be that you lost your sense of self-worth because your previous partners have made you feel like you’re not good enough and that you never will be, no matter what you do.
2. Are you always attracting commitment-phobes?
If you’re constantly attracting commitment-phobes, then there must be a valid reason for it.
The chances are that you keep falling for them because you subconsciously want to persuade them to commit to you, which again stems from your past experiences.
You see, when you don’t receive the same amount of love you keep giving to others, you subconsciously start thinking that you should be giving even more just to experience true love.
And commitment-phobes are the best candidates for it.
3. Do you have big expectations of your new partner?
Sometimes you keep falling out of love just because of your big expectations before entering a relationship.
When you meet someone new, do you always have this image in your mind of how things should look when you’re together and what your future partner is supposed to do or not do?
If yes, you’re probably doing so because you’re afraid that things will go in the wrong direction and you want everything to be perfect (which is totally understandable).
But by doing so you’re also creating the possibility of potential future disappointments, which will result in you falling out of love.
4. Do you always try hard to change your partner?
While it is completely normal to not like every single thing about or flaw of your new partner, it is not normal to always try hard to drastically change them.
The reason why this occurs might be also related to your past experiences where you weren’t treated right and with care and now you’re trying to prevent yourself from reliving the same thing again.
Sadly, you never really succeed in changing them and gradually you find yourself falling out of love instead.
5. Do you always have this tendency to save your partner from themselves even though you know their toxicity will cost you a lot?
Do you often find yourself worrying more about them than about yourself?
Do you find yourself compromising your own happiness for the sake of theirs?
If yes, it means that you constantly have this tendency to save them, even though you know that their toxicity will eventually destroy you.
But true love is not about saving each other. It is about being ready to reciprocate and fight with mutual strength for what you have.
6. Are you always the only one who sacrifices and makes efforts for the sake of saving your relationship?
You might keep falling out of love because you can’t help making enormous efforts for the sake of saving your relationship.
You keep making excuses for your partner’s unwillingness to do the same because you always do things on your own.
You don’t wait for things to magically start functioning and this often costs you a lot.
7. Do you keep falling for those who make you dance to their tune?
Falling for those who make you dance to their tune is deeply ingrained with a desire to appease.
You feel good while you’re giving and you forget about your own happiness.
You forget that love should be reciprocal and not about appeasing someone.
And when you realize that all this time you have been blindly giving and barely receiving anything in return, you instantly fall out of love.
8. Do you feel like you’re losing yourself while trying to meet their every need?
When you’ve been in a relationship for some time, you often start feeling like you no longer know who you are.
You feel like you’re no longer in touch with your true self and your own desires.
And all of this happens because you’re selflessly trying to meet your partner’s every need without expecting them to do the same.
You fall out of love because you’re afraid of falling in love in a way.
You always give one hundred percent of yourself to make things function and in the process, you lose a sense of who you are.
I’m a former English language major, copy typing freelancer and between the two I’ve always enjoyed drawing (abstract art), singing and writing. Yes, I’m an artistic soul that always wanted to make the world a better place. Today I’m lucky to be the writer on this site and to share my deepest thoughts with you and support you through your daily struggles. I hope we’re gonna get along and I’ll give my best not to disappoint you. XOXO