Have you ever hoped that someone would eventually change, even though deep down you were very well aware that something like that was unlikely to happen?
Have you ever ignored your intuition which kept telling you that someone wasn’t worthy of your time and energy and stuck to a person who has proven to be good for nothing more than once?
Have you ever stayed next to someone even though you knew that you needed to leave for your own sake?
Have you ever lied to yourself that someone loved you for real even though he kept proving you wrong?
If you have, this one’s for you.
It’s for every girl who continues making excuses for a man who treats her like shit, just so she could continue loving him.
For every girl who acts as if she is blind, for the girl who refuses to see all the signs right in front of her and for the girl who refuses to take off her rose-tinted glasses and look the truth in the eye.
For the girl who continues justifying the man who doesn’t deserve to have her love, hoping that eventually he’ll become different.
For every girl who keeps lying to herself that she will be the one to save this man who is just emotionally unavailable.
Who keeps convincing herself that she is the one who will open his heart to love and the one who will make him change his ways.
No, this is not me giving you the comfort you need and telling you to keep on fighting.
This won’t be me getting your hopes up or telling you that one of these days, you’ll get what you want from this guy.
This is me trying to knock some sense into you and trying to open your eyes to the ugly truth.
Me trying to remind you of your worth and me trying to force you to get your shit together.
Honey, I hate to be the one to tell you this but if a guy acts like he doesn’t give a damn about you, you need to start believing him.
Remember that a man’s efforts are a reflection of his love for you.
Everything else is bullshit.
I know you might expect me to tell you that this is just his special way of loving you.
To tell you that he is like this because he’s been hurt in the past or because he needs time to open up to you and to trust you.
To tell you that deep down he knows that you are the love of his life but he can’t seem to find the proper way to show it.
However, none of this is true.
You see, if a guy doesn’t treat you as his first choice, if he takes you for granted, if he abuses you in any way, if he cheats you on physically or emotionally, if he doesn’t put any effort into your relationship, if he doesn’t want to label things, if he wants you to chase him and if he doesn’t give you the love you need, he simply doesn’t care.
No, you are not asking for much, you are not too picky or too demanding, he just doesn’t love you, never did and never will.
As much as admitting something like this to yourself hurts, you simply have to accept the fact that this man is wrong for you.
You have to stop waiting for him to change his ways and for him to start valuing everything you do for him because that will never happen.
You have to stop wasting years of your life for him to become a better man and for him to start treating you the way he should have from day one.
For him to understand that you are one of a kind and for him to start seeing how much you love him.
You have to let go of all the should-haves and could-haves. Let go of his potential and let go of the man he might become.
Instead, for once, look at things realistically.
For once, stop deceiving yourself and see this man for who he really is—a manipulative asshole who is using your kind heart and who is taking advantage of you.
Once you do that, once you finally see his true colors, please be strong enough and leave his sorry ass.
Don’t do it to teach him a lesson or to make him realize what he’s lost. Instead, do it for yourself.
Do it because you don’t need him and because you are way better off alone than with him.
Do it because you deserve better and because you know he could never give you what you need.
Do it because you love yourself more than you love him. Do it because breaking up with him will be the best decision of your life.
A teacher. A dreamer. A writer. A woman who’s been through all of the things you are going through. A woman who’s learned on her mistakes and whose advice you can trust. A woman who is trying to find her place under the stars. A woman just like you.