Having your first date go smoothly and knowing you’re both interested enough to take it to round two (second date) is a truly reassuring feeling.
It means you both like each other enough to want to get to know each other better, and you clearly had a good time the first time around, so you have that going for you.
Now, you’ve probably covered the basics already, and know about their life, work situation, aspirations in life, and family. Enough to feel like you’re getting somewhere.
Your second date will allow you to delve a little deeper and get to know a bit more about them.
It’s a good time to discuss what you want out of this thing you’re exploring and how serious you are in pursuing this for real.
You can talk about emotions, the connection you probably have, and how you feel about this developing into something real.
If you’re feeling anxious because you know the second date kiss is looming, and you don’t want it to ruin the date, here are some things to consider before going for it, in order to do it just right.
Second date kiss: best ways to approach it
1. Ask yourself how you really feel about kissing her on the second date
There are no rules when it comes to these things. Many people have many different opinions on this, and who’s to say what’s right and what’s not? I always say – follow your gut!
There is no pressure to force anything if you’re not feeling it 100%. Ask yourself how you truly feel about it, and go from there.
If you’re hesitant and don’t want to get too intimate too soon, that is perfectly fine.
Everybody has their own pace, and you’ll get there when it feels right.
But if you’re feeling it, and you do want that second date kiss, than by all means, do it, and don’t let yourself talk your way out of it. If it feels right, there’s no reason not to do it!
2. There’s no rule saying the kiss has to happen at the end of the date
Normally, kissing her as your date is nearing its end seems like the best time to do it, and it can be… but not necessarily always.
If you feel a moment during the date when it feels like kissing her is the right thing to do and you feel like she would like it too, I say go for it.
You can feel a spark totally unexpectedly, and that might be your cue!
Now, if you want to make it even better, you can actually ask her, and save yourself from possible embarrassment.
If you’re feeling eager to kiss her and there is some sexual tension in the air, just say something along the lines of: ‘’I really want to kiss you right now… is that okay with you?’’ to make sure she’s on board.
She’ll probably say ‘Yes’ without hesitation, but in case she doesn’t, it doesn’t mean the date is ruined.
All it means that she is not ready for that YET, she needs a bit more time, and that is more than okay.
3. Giving her a hug will help you read the situation
If you’re not yet sure that she’s totally on board for a kiss, giving her a hug might make things a bit clearer for you.
There is nothing wrong in hugging a person (but make sure that it’s not totally out of the blue).
You can give her a warm hug at a particular moment when it feels right, and you’ll sense by her body language if she’d like a bit more.
If she feels tense and she’s not giving out any vibes that would signify she is interested in a kiss, respect that, and proceed with the date.
But if you feel her embracing you warmly and pulling you close… she’s probably expecting a kiss as well.
Her body language will give it away, don’t worry, and you’ll know what to do.
4. Keep in mind – it’s only a kiss (not a marriage proposal)
If your date is really not into second date kissing, you should know that it has nothing to do with you.
It’s all about her personal boundaries and space, and there is nothing you can do about it, but be patient and respect her choice.
Not everybody is on the same page when it comes to these things and that is totally fine.
If you want this to be a long-term thing, you’ll survive, and when the time for a kiss comes, you’ll see it was all worth it.
On the other hand, if the kiss DID happen, but it was a little weird… don’t be discouraged.
It happens, and it doesn’t mean anything. With a little time and practice, all your future kisses are going to be that much better.
What’s important is that you don’t lose sleep over this. It’s just a kiss! You’ll survive however it goes, and life will go on.
As your dates go by, you’ll be more in sync with the person, and you won’t be as unsure as you are now.
It takes time, but it does get better!
5. Some miscommunication is always possible, and it shouldn’t discourage you
Even partners who have been together for years have problems with miscommunication every now and again. That’s just part of life, so always be prepared for it.
She might be giving out strong hints that she wants you to kiss her but you’re not really getting it, so in the end, neither of you get what you really want, and you both have the wrong idea.
It really does happen, and it’s totally not a big deal. One day, you’ll probably be laughing about it over drinks, celebrating your anniversary, reminiscing about your beginnings (fingers crossed).
If you want to avoid any possible miscommunication, you can just be direct in stating what you want and if you’re not sure about what she’s trying to tell you, ask! Simple as that.
6. Don’t jump to conclusions, and give it until the end of the date
The second date is a crucial date in discovering if there is truly a spark or a connection between you and the person you’re seeing, and if there is even any point in going for the third date.
If the kiss hasn’t happened because neither of you felt like the moment was right, it doesn’t mean it won’t happen in the future.
It’s always better to do things that feel natural, and if kissing her seemed forced, it’s a good thing you didn’t do it.
Now, if you’re really interested and you want her to know that you want to see her again, you can text her after coming home (wait for an hour or so). Tell her what a great time you had and that you’d like to see her again.
Give yourselves another chance. You know what they say – third time’s the charm!
And in case the kiss DID happen and it felt amazing, good for you! You went for it, and now you’ve got a taste of what could possibly be your future.
Make sure to text her when you get home. Tell her how amazing it was for you and that you cannot wait to do it again. She’ll be dying for a third date, so don’t wait too long, and go sweep that girl off her feet!
Kissing is a really big step because it is what leads to a more physical aspect of the relationship. Therefore, it is best to follow your feeling and not do anything that doesn’t feel natural.
There are no rules as to when you’re supposed to kiss and how many dates should go by, so don’t worry about any of that. It’s all on you two to figure it out together. Nothing else matters.