Has your husband been very grumpy and moody lately, and sometimes you feel like it’s his time of the month? The only problem is that he’s a man, and we all know men don’t have periods.
However, they do have something similar, and it’s called miserable husband syndrome or the irritable male syndrome (IMS). Your husband might be struggling with this syndrome, and if he is, he needs your help and support now more than ever.
He needs you to be there for him to fight together for your marriage and your love. If you give up on him now, it would be a sign you never even loved him.
15 Warning Signs Of Miserable Husband Syndrome
If you notice these red flags below, you should start worrying because your man probably has miserable husband syndrome:
1. Frequent mood swings
You thought it was just an episode and that it’d soon pass. However, is your husband’s moodiness getting worse with each passing day, and you just feel like you won’t be able to put up with it for much longer?
You know what? You don’t have to. What you actually need to do is to find out the root cause of your husband’s frequent mood swings. Once you find out what that reason is, you need to make him confront it and be there to support him.
2. Low self-esteem
Science says that when testosterone levels in a man drop, it immediately impacts his self-esteem. Which then affects the quality of his life too.
Now, the important question, and the one I’m sure you want to know the answer to is, what may cause that drop in sex hormone levels? Poor life quality, some health conditions (like diabetes), and weight issues.
When a man has a poor self-image, it immediately affects his ego. His work, social, and love lives start suffering because he feels unworthy, which also makes him feel miserable. And it’ll stay that way as long as he doesn’t start working on improving his self-esteem.
3. Male depression and mental health issues
Depression and anxiety have unfortunately become very common health conditions nowadays. Women and men all around the world are suffering from them, and the worst thing is that most of them (especially guys) are still ashamed to admit it and seek help.
If you notice any traces of male depression in your man, you need to make sure he gets the help he needs. Find the best men’s health group that will help your man overcome his issues and, of course, help you both save your marriage.
4. High-stress levels
The fact is, we all deal with many situations daily that bring too much stress into our lives. If we don’t know how to cope with stress in a healthy way, our mental and emotional health is doomed.
If you know for sure that your husband is going through a stressful period in life, you need to find a way to comfort him and make his stress go away. And be very careful because stress is contagious, especially in romantic relationships.
5. Reduced energy level
Has your husband’s mood changed? Has he become depressed and tired all the time? Does he spread bad vibes all around?
Those are the clear signs of miserable husband syndrome. If you can’t help him increase his energy levels, at least try not to allow him to drain your energy with those bad vibes.
6. Odd body language
If your man has negative body language, it’s a big red flag that he has miserable husband syndrome.
The truth is, our body language can’t hide what’s going on inside of us. Your emotions and your current mood can always be figured out through your body language.
7. Going through andropause
Have you ever heard of this term? Andropause is, in a way, male menopause. Yes, men go through menopause, too, and they have hormonal fluctuations, mood swings, and most of the other symptoms women experience when they go through menopause.
What can you do to help your man cope with andropause? Frankly, not too much. You just need to offer support, be understanding, and hope that it’ll all be over soon.
8. Bad lifestyle choices
What is your husband’s lifestyle like? Has that changed lately, too? If he has made some bad lifestyle choices recently, it’s also a good sign he’s dealing with irritable male syndrome.
And you know what you need to do if this is true? You need to help your man open his eyes and realize that his bad lifestyle choices are affecting your marriage. Help him improve his quality of life as it will immediately improve and fix your marriage.
9. Stonewalling
Do you feel like your partner is becoming emotionally distant? Do you always feel like you’re talking to a brick wall when you try to speak to him?
It’s clear that he’s stonewalling you, and you shouldn’t get angry at him because he’s probably doing it unintentionally. Perhaps it’s his coping mechanism or the result of those internal fights and battles he’s struggling with.
10. Avoiding communication
It’s not only that he doesn’t want to listen to you anymore, he also doesn’t want to talk to you either, right? Has he started avoiding you totally, and it seems like he’s afraid of communicating with you?
You know what? You’re absolutely right. Your man is currently so confused and emotionally messed up, and he doesn’t know how to open up to you because he’s afraid that once he communicates his emotions, it may drive you away.
11. Running away from conflict
Do you know why your husband is avoiding communication and stonewalling you? It’s because he’s afraid of getting into a fight with you.
Right now, he isn’t able to explain himself and fight with you. He’s aware that the changes in his hormone levels and mixed-up emotions can make him do or say things he might regret afterward.
12. Neglecting his responsibilities
Does your man not only neglect you but has he started ignoring his responsibilities around the house and your kids? Speak no more, it’s obvious he’s dealing with irritable male syndrome.
Don’t just wait around and hope that it’ll be over soon and that he’ll start paying attention to you and the kids again. As long as your husband doesn’t deal with his issues, he won’t be able to be the husband and father he was before.
Related: 14 Reasons Why My Husband Never Does Anything Special For Me
13. Physical health issues
Has your husband’s physical health not been great lately? Maybe he’s keeping that bad news to himself, but if it’s true, I’m sure you’ve noticed some signs that something is off.
You need to talk to your man about it. If he still doesn’t want to admit he’s having some physical health issues, you should talk to your family doctor or your husband’s best friend because he needs to confide in someone.
14. Poor or no sex drive
Stress levels, poor quality of life, hormonal changes, relationship issues… these are the most common reasons men experience a loss of sex drive. Yes, that happens, too, no matter how awkward or impossible it seems.
If you notice that your husband is becoming disinterested in having sex, it’s one of the HUGE red flags of miserable husband syndrome. Fortunately, you’re the best person to help him deal with it and restore his sex drive.
First of all, you need to make sure your husband eats good, healthy food. Then, you need to find a way to revive the spark in the bedroom. Also, you need to strengthen the emotional and intimate connection between you and your husband.
15. Erectile dysfunction
Unfortunately, a lot of men struggle with impotence, especially when they get older, and this issue affects their sex life and love life. It also affects their personality because it decreases their self-esteem.
To be honest, it’s not that hard to realize whether your man has this issue or not. In fact, in these modern times, it doesn’t even have to be an issue because there are different kinds of medicines and treatments for erectile dysfunction.
You can still have a healthy and passionate sex life even if your man has ED. Also, there are natural ways a man can regain erectile strength, and you should try them too.
See also: 50 Painful Signs Your Husband Isn’t In Love With You Anymore
11 Tips To Cope With This Irritable Male Syndrome
If you want to get through this and save your marriage, you need to be there for your man and show him that nothing will separate you, not even this irritable male syndrome. I’ll leave you with a few efficient tips below that will definitely help you deal with your husband’s IMS.
1. #1 Relationship advice: Communicate!
Whenever you’re having or going through relationship problems, you need to communicate your way through them. That’s always the best way to solve your issues.
Sometimes, couples decide to ignore their issues, hoping that it’ll make them go away. However, that never works, and of course, it only makes their problems even bigger and creates distance between them.
If you want to keep your connection and be 100% included in each other’s lives, you need to have open, regular, and honest communication. The fact is, you can never have and maintain a successful marriage if there is an obvious lack of communication between you.
2. Bring positive energy into your lives
Does your husband not want to go out or hang out with you, your family, or your friends? Does he behave like he has lost his purpose in life? Your man obviously has reduced energy levels and is vibing bad and negative vibes because of it.
If you want to help him, you need to make him happy again. Tell him a good joke you heard or surprise him with something that never fails to make him laugh.
3. Give him the space he needs
When men experience irritable male syndrome or miserable husband syndrome, they really need their personal space more than ever.
They need to be alone to process everything that is happening around them and in their heads, especially. If you don’t give him space and keep bothering him, it’ll only make him even more miserable.
4. Make it loud and clear that your man has your support
Maybe your husband is struggling with this syndrome, or he’s simply having a midlife crisis – it’s irrelevant. The important thing is that you need to make it clear that you support him, no matter what.
He needs to know that he can come to you with absolutely anything. It won’t only show your man how much you care about him, but it’ll also make it clear that he can confide in you about absolutely anything and that you’ll never betray him or his secrets.
5. Plan the most romantic date night ever
You need to bring the romance back into your marriage. One of the reasons your husband feels miserable in your marriage might be that the spark between you has gone. He doesn’t feel loved anymore, and it’s what is making him feel so desperate.
You need to start dating your man again. Flirt with him like you flirted when you were trying to win him over. Invite him out for a romantic date and plan something that will impress your man.
Try to make him forget about all of his problems, at least for that one night. Forget that you’re married and behave like two teenagers again, two teenagers crazy in love.
6. Awaken your husband’s inner hero
I know that we, women, are strong and that we can do everything by ourselves. However, if you never ask your husband for help or his opinion about something, you’ll make him feel useless.
After some time, he’ll start feeling as if you don’t need him anymore, and it’ll completely downgrade his ego and self-esteem.
Remind him that he completes you, just as you do him. Ask for his help, show him your appreciation and respect, and support him in his decisions and actions. Tell him how you can’t imagine your life without him in it. It’ll be the ego boost your man desperately needs right now.
7. Help him find a healthy way to deal with stress
We all encounter and deal with stress on a daily basis. That’s why it’s of high importance for all of us to learn how to cope with it in a healthy and efficient way.
Talk and listen to your husband. If he is having work, family, or financial issues, try to do something for him that will help him relax a bit. You need to decompress together and find a healthy way to vent your negative feelings.
8. Try to feel his emotions
Your husband needs to know that he’s being heard. He needs to know that his emotions, both negative and positive, are being acknowledged, validated, and understood.
Even when he’s having those awful mood swings, you need to be patient and understanding. That’s the only way your husband will feel free to talk to you openly because he’ll know he has your support, no matter what.
9. Visit your family therapist and seek professional help
If you can’t deal with this alone, you should seek professional help. Find a professional who will ensure your husband has the right diagnosis.
After they make a diagnosis, they’ll either suggest he go for therapy or help him find the right way to deal with his problem. All you’ll need to do after that is to follow their directions, and your husband will get rid of this irritable male syndrome.
10. Don’t judge – try to understand instead
You need to understand that your husband is going through some kind of midlife crisis, and you can’t judge him for his moodiness and grumpiness right now. It’s all due to the hormonal changes happening inside him, and I know I have said it already, but he really needs your support.
Be patient, supportive, understanding, and kind. I’m sure those are some of the reasons your husband married you, and you need to show him that he didn’t make a mistake making that decision.
11. Don’t lose hope that you’ll manage to overcome this over time
All the hormonal fluctuations, mood swings, and reduced energy levels your husband is currently going through will be over very soon. You’ll overcome all your relationship problems and leave them in the past.
You just need to keep having faith in your marriage and your love. Over time, it’ll be like none of this ever happened, and you’ll be happy again.
As happy as both of you were the day you swore eternal love for each other. If you lose hope, you’ll also lose the will to keep fighting and putting effort into saving your marriage.
See also: 12 Benefits The Feminization Of My Husband Brought Us
Is It Better To Divorce Or Stay Unhappily Married?
It’s always, ALWAYS, better to divorce than stay in a toxic and unhappy marriage. Of course, marriage isn’t a game and should be taken seriously. That’s why you should fight for it and try to fix it before you make a serious decision like getting a divorce.
However, if you lose all hope that your marriage can be functional again and your spouse keeps affecting your mental health and happiness, you should and have every reason to end it.
Your well-being MUST always be your main priority. If someone or something keeps harming it, you need to get that thing or person out of your life forever.
When Should You Separate From Your Husband?
Even if your husband struggles with male depression, it doesn’t mean you should divorce him immediately. If you love him, you need to stay by his side, support him, and help him get better.
However, if things don’t get better after some time, and if your husband lacks the effort to work through his issues, then you should stop saving him and focus on saving yourself.
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should put up with their mood swings, grumpiness, and hypersensitivity. You can’t spend your life feeling like you’re walking on eggshells constantly just because you’re afraid to let go of someone.
Alcohol consumption and gambling issues are also valid reasons to separate from your husband. Once you start feeling disrespected, unloved, unhappy, and unappreciated in your marriage, it’s a clear sign that you should leave your husband, move on, and create a life you deserve for yourself.
In Closing
After everything you’ve read, what’s your conclusion? Does your man suffer from miserable husband syndrome or IMS?
If you think he does, there is only one thing you can/should do… stay with him. This is the time to prove your love for him, and if you don’t do it now, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.
Be there with him through every step of his recovery path. You will overcome this obstacle together, and your marriage will be stronger than ever.
And no matter how difficult it becomes, just keep in mind this amazing quote from Johnny Depp: “Breathe. It’s only a bad day, not a bad life.”
