Agimos como um casal, mas não somos oficiais: Porquê e o que fazer
‘We act like a couple, but we are not official’… I swear these types of relationships have become a trend nowadays.
Estar preso em um situação é realmente uma porcaria. That relationship limbo can drive a person crazy because you can’t let go, and, on the other hand, you’re afraid that you’re wasting your time on something that will never become a serious relationship.
However, I’m here today as your savior because I’ll help you find a way out. And I don’t mean out-out, like ending it all forever. On the contrary, I mean, I’ll guide you through the process of transforming your situationship into a real, relação saudável.
Agimos como um casal, mas não somos oficiais: 9 razões para isso
There are a few possible reasons why you two behave like a real couple but still haven’t defined it as a relação efectiva . So, let’s start with the first and most common one:
1. O medo do compromisso
Pode simplesmente acontecer que you’re dealing with a commitment-phobe. They’re probably interested in you, but relações de compromisso assustá-los de morte.
Maybe it’s their primeira vez apaixonar-se por alguém so hard, and that feeling is unknown to them, which scares them. On the other hand, it may also be because they’re afraid to leave their single life behind.
Os seus medo do compromisso podem também ser causadas por feridas emocionais do passado. Talvez tenham sido numa relação de compromisso antes, e isso deixou-os com o coração partido.
2. Podem simplesmente estar confusos
As I said, maybe it’s the first time they’ve caught deep feelings for someone, and they don’t know what to do or how to behave.
Perhaps they already consider it a real relationship and think you feel that way too. On the other hand, they may be waiting for you to make the first move because they aren’t sure what that should be.
3. Têm problemas de autoestima
Homens com baixa autoestima têm estas dificuldades no que diz respeito à sua vida amorosa. They feel they don’t deserve the other person, and that’s why it takes them so long dar o primeiro passo e tornar as coisas oficiais.
Acham que a outra pessoa nunca entraria em uma relação séria with them, so that’s why they avoid talking about it. Their poor self-confidence doesn’t allow them to see themselves how their significant other does.
4. They’re only using you
Unfortunately, this is also a very common case. They stay by your side only because it’s convenient for them.
They can’t build a relação saudável with you because they don’t plan on staying with you for too long. As long as you’re giving them the perks of being in a fun relationship, they’ll be there. However, the first time your relationship runs into some issues, he’ll turn his back on you for good.
5. Consideram que são amigos com benefícios
If you’re a teenager or still in high school, this is probably the cause of your situação. Your ‘partner’ thinks you’re in uma relação de amigos com benefícios, and they’re perfectly okay with that.
Por isso, se quiser oficializar a vossa relaçãoSe o seu filho não tem direito a receber um subsídio, tem de deixar de lhe dar esses benefícios. Deixar de responder o seu "booty call, and you’ll see that things will start to change.
6. Past relationship baggage doesn’t allow them to be exclusive
O que é que sabe sobre os seus ex-parceiros e relações? If they dated someone for a long time before they met you, it could be a red flag that they didn’t get proper closer from that relationship.
The unfortunate truth is that they’ll never be able to build a new relationship as long as they struggle with that bagagem emocional.
7. They’re afraid of getting hurt
Sabe alguma coisa sobre a história do namoro deles? Como é que a sua relação anterior terminou? Eles estavam em uma relação duradoura before you that didn’t end well?
If they told you that their ex-boyfriend/girlfriend hurt them, maybe they’re afraid you’ll do the same to them.
They don’t want to passar por outro desgosto, and they think that by not putting labels on your relationship, they’ll manage to protect themselves.
8. They don’t want to get out of the ‘dating pool’
This doesn’t mean they’re seeing someone else, but they might be texting with someone on social media or having fun on dating apps. The point is that they aren’t ready to give up on all of that.
They aren’t ready to give up on their single life. They still want to meet new people and hang out with them, and they know it wouldn’t be possible if they get into a committed relationship with you.
9. They think you’re okay with how things are
If you’ve never talked to them about taking your ‘relationship’ to the next level, it’s completely normal that they think you’re satisfied with how things are right now.
And you shouldn’t expect them to make that move of defining seu estado de relacionamento because they think it’s not something you want. Also, you can’t accuse them that they’re using you because the truth is, you’ve willingly accepted staying in this type of relationship.
Como é que se chama quando se age como um casal mas não se namora?
Na verdade, existem vários nomes para estes tipos de relações , but in most cases, it’s simply called a situação. It’s when you’re more than friends but less than a couple.
Também pode ser rotulado de relação indefinida ou o limbo das relações. You have most of the relationship perks, but still, one or both of you don’t feel ready to put a real label on it.
Ver também: Sinais de que você está namorando não oficialmente: Seguir em frente ou DTR?
As situações podem transformar-se em relações?
Of course, they can, but it’s up to you two and how hard both of you really want it. If you’re okay with hooking up from time to time, you probably won’t ever become a real couple.
No entanto, se sentirem algo um pelo outro e estiverem dispostos a trabalhar para estabelecer uma relação ligação emocionalCom o tempo, a vossa relação de situação transformar-se-á definitivamente numa relação romântica real e definida.
Sabe o que se costuma dizer: o tempo o dirá. Entretanto, a vossa única tarefa é conhecerem-se melhor e concentrarem-se na construção de bases sólidas para uma relação saudável.
9 passos a dar para transformar a sua relação situacional numa relação real
‘Agimos como um casal, mas não somos oficiais’… Espero que esta seja a última vez que o dizes, porque os conselhos sobre relações que se seguem vão ajudar-te construir um relação definida fora do seu atual situação.
1. Deixe-os entrar no seu mundo
Se queres mesmo ser exclusivo, tens de te tornar parte do mundo deles e vice-versa. If you don’t welcome each other into your worlds, you’ll never be able to establish healthy grounds for a real relationship.
Comunicar. Conheçam-se uns aos outros. Partilhem algumas das vossas experiências e memórias pessoais. Façam com que elas façam parte do vosso processo de decisão. Apoiem-se e motivem-se mutuamente para atingirem os vossos objectivos e para se tornarem melhores versões de vocês próprios.
2. Deixe as suas inseguranças para trás
If you allow your insecurities and your mental health or self-esteem issues to stand between you, the fact is, you’ll never be able to develop and maintain a healthy relationship.
É preciso ter consciência de si próprio, das suas perfeições, qualidades e valores. Que tipo de pessoa poderia deixar de lado alguém como tu? É essa a única forma de pensar.
Se a outra pessoa notar que tem dificuldades em lidar com s questões de auto-consciênciaeles podem usá-lo para o usar como quiserem. E isso é algo que nunca se deve permitir que alguém faça.
3. Aproximar-se dos seus amigos íntimos
If you can’t get them to talk about their feelings for you, you should try to find out from your mutual friends. Or, even better, you should try to get close to their best friends and find out that information from them. I know that sounds pretty hard, but it’ll be worth it, believe me.
Of course, you should also introduce them to your close friends and family members. That’s how you’ll show them that your intentions regarding them and your relationship are serious.
4. Tentar estabelecer uma ligação a um nível mais profundo
Abram-se uns aos outros. Se quer desenvolver uma ligação forte, a melhor forma de o fazer é partilhar as suas emoções, memórias e algumas histórias profundas da sua vida.
Também, de mãos dadas em público, partilhar um passatempo divertido e viajar juntos também pode ajudar a formar uma ligação emocional firme. Os laços fortes e as ligações emocionais são, de facto, as bases mais importantes quando se trata de construir uma relação saudável.
5. Passar algum tempo juntos é OBRIGATÓRIO
Saia com mais frequência. Saia com os amigos que tem em comum, mas também arranje tempo para sair sozinho.
It’s not like you should spend all of your free time together but spending quality time together often will definitely strengthen your bond.
6. Prestar atenção às suas necessidades E limites
Se o seu parceiro ainda não estiver pronto para oficializar a relação, deve ser paciente e mostrar-se compreensivo. You won’t get anything by forcing things. On the contrary, it may only blow up in your face.
Relativamente a isso, se ei quero e preciso de algum tempo sozinho, you should let them have it. By respecting their need for personal space and alone time, you’ll show them how caring and understanding you are, which will make them fall hard for you.
7. Deixe que as suas acções mostrem os seus verdadeiros sentimentos
Words alone won’t help you to conseguir que o seu parceiro se comprometa consigo. You can tell them those three almost meaningless words, ‘Eu amo-te,’ but it still won’t be enough for them to make your relationship official.
You know why? Because words don’t mean a thing if they aren’t supported through actions. In other words, you can tell them you love them, but it really doesn’t have any deep meaning if you don’t show it to them.
8. Don’t be afraid of ‘the talk’
If the other person doesn’t take any serious steps, you should be the one to make the first move. Simply put, ask them to have the talk.
A conversa pode definir a vossa relação ou acabar com ela de uma vez por todas. It won’t be easy, but it’s probably the only way to solve your current situation. Boa sortee espero que a vossa conversa tenha um final feliz.
9. If they don’t want to be exclusive, stop giving them the perks of being in a relationship
If your girl/guy friend keeps avoiding making things official between you, the only choice you have is to stop behaving like you’re in a relationship. Ou seja, deve deixar de lhes dar os benefícios de estar numa relação.
It’s actually the only way to determine whether they really have honest feelings for you or are only playing with you. If they stay and commit to you, they’re in love with you.
On the flip side, if they end it all between you, it’s a clear sign they never even genuinely cared for you. It may be difficult for you to accept it initially, but after some time, you’ll realize that it was really for the best.
One day, you’ll meet a pessoa certa, someone who’ll be proud to enter into a relationship with you and put a clear label on it from day one – a healthy, serious, and committed relationship.
Why Does He Act Like My Boyfriend But Won’t Commit?
Honestly, there might be a few reasons why your man keeps you close but isn’t ready to enter a committed relationship. It may be because he’s simply afraid of commitment or because he’s already in a relationship with someone else.
Also, it could be because he isn’t quite sure how he feels about you or, on the other hand, he isn’t sure you’re serious about him. Of course, he may also be using you or simply be okay with such uma relação casual e indefinida.
However, one thing is for sure, he’s keeping you close because he doesn’t want to lose you.
You shouldn’t give up on him immediately. Give him time, and maybe you’ll manage to figure out his true intentions.
Considerações finais
I sincerely hope I’ve managed to solve your ‘we act like a couple, but we are not official yet’ situationship dilemma. Or, at least, I hope I’ve helped you figure out a way to solve it.
The good thing is that you definitely aren’t in a hopeless situation. If there is love, there’s a huge possibility that it’ll turn into a real, healthy relationship one day.
Por outro lado, se a relação durar muito tempo, deve terminar e deixar de lado essa pessoa. Understand that they aren’t the right person for you, and stop wasting your precious time on someone who isn’t sure about your position in their life.
