fake watches Skip to Content

We Act Like A Couple, But We Are Not Official: Why And What To Do

We Act Like A Couple, But We Are Not Official: Why And What To Do

‘We act like a couple, but we are not official’… I swear these types of relationships have become a trend nowadays.

Being stuck in a situationship really sucks. That relationship limbo can drive a person crazy because you can’t let go, and, on the other hand, you’re afraid that you’re wasting your time on something that will never become a serious relationship.

However, I’m here today as your savior because I’ll help you find a way out. And I don’t mean out-out, like ending it all forever. On the contrary, I mean, I’ll guide you through the process of transforming your situationship into a real, healthy relationship.

We Act Like A Couple, But We Are Not Official: 9 Reasons WHY

There are a few possible reasons why you two behave like a real couple but still haven’t defined it as a real relationship . So, let’s start with the first and most common one:

1. The fear of commitment

young woman looking away in horizont on the beach

It may simply be that you’re dealing with a commitment-phobe. They’re probably interested in you, but committed relationships scare the hell out of them.

Maybe it’s their first time falling in love with someone so hard, and that feeling is unknown to them, which scares them. On the other hand, it may also be because they’re afraid to leave their single life behind.

Their fear of commitment may also be caused by emotional wounds from the past. Maybe they were in a committed relationship before, and it left them with a broken heart.

2. They might simply be confused

As I said, maybe it’s the first time they’ve caught deep feelings for someone, and they don’t know what to do or how to behave.

Perhaps they already consider it a real relationship and think you feel that way too. On the other hand, they may be waiting for you to make the first move because they aren’t sure what that should be.

3. They have self-esteem issues

serious woman with glasses sitting in deep thoughts

Men with low self-esteem have these difficulties when it comes to their love life. They feel they don’t deserve the other person, and that’s why it takes them so long to make the first move and make things official.

They think the other person would never enter into a serious relationship with them, so that’s why they avoid talking about it. Their poor self-confidence doesn’t allow them to see themselves how their significant other does.

4. They’re only using you

Unfortunately, this is also a very common case. They stay by your side only because it’s convenient for them.

They can’t build a healthy relationship with you because they don’t plan on staying with you for too long. As long as you’re giving them the perks of being in a fun relationship, they’ll be there. However, the first time your relationship runs into some issues, he’ll turn his back on you for good.

5. They consider it friends with benefits

couple talking on the floor in the living room

If you’re a teenager or still in high school, this is probably the cause of your situationship. Your ‘partner’ thinks you’re in a friends with benefits relationship, and they’re perfectly okay with that.

So, if you want to make your relationship official, you need to stop giving them those benefits. Stop answering their booty call, and you’ll see that things will start to change.

6. Past relationship baggage doesn’t allow them to be exclusive

What do you know about their ex-partners and relationships? If they dated someone for a long time before they met you, it could be a red flag that they didn’t get proper closer from that relationship.

The unfortunate truth is that they’ll never be able to build a new relationship as long as they struggle with that emotional baggage.

7. They’re afraid of getting hurt

sad woman in deep thouhts looking at street

Do you know anything about their dating history? How did their previous relationship end? Were they in a long-term relationship before you that didn’t end well?

If they told you that their ex-boyfriend/girlfriend hurt them, maybe they’re afraid you’ll do the same to them.

They don’t want to go through another heartbreak, and they think that by not putting labels on your relationship, they’ll manage to protect themselves.

8. They don’t want to get out of the ‘dating pool’

This doesn’t mean they’re seeing someone else, but they might be texting with someone on social media or having fun on dating apps. The point is that they aren’t ready to give up on all of that.

They aren’t ready to give up on their single life. They still want to meet new people and hang out with them, and they know it wouldn’t be possible if they get into a committed relationship with you.

9. They think you’re okay with how things are

sad woman lying in bed while man is sleeping

If you’ve never talked to them about taking your ‘relationship’ to the next level, it’s completely normal that they think you’re satisfied with how things are right now.

And you shouldn’t expect them to make that move of defining your relationship status because they think it’s not something you want. Also, you can’t accuse them that they’re using you because the truth is, you’ve willingly accepted staying in this type of relationship.

What Is It Called When You Act Like A Couple But Not Dating?

There are actually several names for these types of relationships , but in most cases, it’s simply called a situationship. It’s when you’re more than friends but less than a couple.

It can also be labeled an undefined relationship or relationship limbo. You have most of the relationship perks, but still, one or both of you don’t feel ready to put a real label on it.

See also: Signs You Are Unofficially Dating: Move On Or DTR?

Can Situationships Turn Into A Relationship?

Of course, they can, but it’s up to you two and how hard both of you really want it. If you’re okay with hooking up from time to time, you probably won’t ever become a real couple.

However, if you have caught feelings for each other and are ready to work on establishing an emotional connection, with time, your situationship will definitely transform into a real, defined romantic relationship.

You know what people say: time will tell. In the meantime, your only job is to get to know each other better and focus on building strong foundations for a healthy relationship.

9 Steps To Make To Turn Your Situationship Into A Real Relationship

We act like a couple, but we are not official’… I hope this is the last time you say this because the relationship advice below will help you build a defined relationship out of your current situationship.

1. Let them into your world

couple talking by the table in the coffee shop

If you really want to be exclusive, you need to become a part of their world and vice versa. If you don’t welcome each other into your worlds, you’ll never be able to establish healthy grounds for a real relationship.

Communicate. Get to know each other. Share some of your personal experiences and memories. Make them a part of your decision-making process. Support and motivate one another to achieve your goals and to become better versions of yourselves.

2. Leave your insecurities behind

If you allow your insecurities and your mental health or self-esteem issues to stand between you, the fact is, you’ll never be able to develop and maintain a healthy relationship.

You need to be aware of yourself, your perfections, qualities, and values. What kind of person could ever let go of someone like you? That is the only way you should be thinking.

If the other person notices that you struggle with s self-awareness issues, they might use it to use you how they want to. And that is really something you should never allow anyone to do.

3. Get close to their close friends

Group of young people meeting in a cafe

If you can’t get them to talk about their feelings for you, you should try to find out from your mutual friends. Or, even better, you should try to get close to their best friends and find out that information from them. I know that sounds pretty hard, but it’ll be worth it, believe me.

Of course, you should also introduce them to your close friends and family members. That’s how you’ll show them that your intentions regarding them and your relationship are serious.

4. Try to connect on a deeper level

Open up to each other. If you want to develop a strong bond, sharing your emotions, memories, and some deep stories from your life is the best way to do it.

Also, holding hands in public, sharing a fun hobby, and traveling together can also help you form a firm emotional connection. Strong bonds and emotional connections are indeed the most important foundations when it comes to building a healthy relationship.

5. Spending time together is a MUST

smiling couple talking on a coffee date

Go on dates more often. Hang out with the friends you have in common but also do make some time to hang out alone.

It’s not like you should spend all of your free time together but spending quality time together often will definitely strengthen your bond.

6. Pay attention to their needs AND boundaries

If your partner is still not ready to make things official, you should be patient and show understanding. You won’t get anything by forcing things. On the contrary, it may only blow up in your face.

Regarding that, if hey want and need some time alone, you should let them have it. By respecting their need for personal space and alone time, you’ll show them how caring and understanding you are, which will make them fall hard for you.

7. Let your actions show your true feelings

romantic couple cuddling while standing in the room

Words alone won’t help you to get your partner to commit to you. You can tell them those three almost meaningless words, ‘I love you,’ but it still won’t be enough for them to make your relationship official.

You know why? Because words don’t mean a thing if they aren’t supported through actions. In other words, you can tell them you love them, but it really doesn’t have any deep meaning if you don’t show it to them.

8. Don’t be afraid of ‘the talk’

If the other person doesn’t take any serious steps, you should be the one to make the first move. Simply put, ask them to have the talk.

The talk will either define your relationship or end it once and for all. It won’t be easy, but it’s probably the only way to solve your current situation. Good luck, and I hope your conversation will have a happy ending.

9. If they don’t want to be exclusive, stop giving them the perks of being in a relationship

Happy young couple sitting and talking on the beach in autumn

If your girl/guy friend keeps avoiding making things official between you, the only choice you have is to stop behaving like you’re in a relationship. That is, you should stop giving them the benefits of being in a relationship.

It’s actually the only way to determine whether they really have honest feelings for you or are only playing with you. If they stay and commit to you, they’re in love with you.

On the flip side, if they end it all between you, it’s a clear sign they never even genuinely cared for you. It may be difficult for you to accept it initially, but after some time, you’ll realize that it was really for the best.

One day, you’ll meet the right person, someone who’ll be proud to enter into a relationship with you and put a clear label on it from day one – a healthy, serious, and committed relationship.

Why Does He Act Like My Boyfriend But Won’t Commit?

Honestly, there might be a few reasons why your man keeps you close but isn’t ready to enter a committed relationship. It may be because he’s simply afraid of commitment or because he’s already in a relationship with someone else.

Also, it could be because he isn’t quite sure how he feels about you or, on the other hand, he isn’t sure you’re serious about him. Of course, he may also be using you or simply be okay with such a casual, undefined relationship.

However, one thing is for sure, he’s keeping you close because he doesn’t want to lose you.

You shouldn’t give up on him immediately. Give him time, and maybe you’ll manage to figure out his true intentions.

Final Thoughts

I sincerely hope I’ve managed to solve your ‘we act like a couple, but we are not official yet’ situationship dilemma. Or, at least, I hope I’ve helped you figure out a way to solve it.

The good thing is that you definitely aren’t in a hopeless situation. If there is love, there’s a huge possibility that it’ll turn into a real, healthy relationship one day.

On the flip side, if it really lasts for too long, you should end it and let go of that person. Understand that they aren’t the right person for you, and stop wasting your precious time on someone who isn’t sure about your position in their life.

Does Your Crush Like You Back? This Is How You’ll Know For Sure!

Wednesday 11th of May 2022

[…] your crush likes you, their friends will start teasing you and act like you two are a couple (happened to me multiple […]

9 Core Relationship Values Every Couple Should Have

Wednesday 11th of May 2022

[…] a real relationship, to put a label on it, to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend, and to act like a couple in public in order to be […]

How To Tell If Your Crush Likes You Back: 13 Signs They're Into You

Wednesday 11th of May 2022

[…] if your crush’s friends act like you two are a couple, there is no doubt that this person likes […]