12 exemplos comuns de mensagens de texto de narcisistas (+ como responder)
If you’ve ever texted with a narcissist, then you know how truly frustrating it is. They have this special ability to make you feel like they truly care about you when, in reality, the only thing they care about is themselves and being in control.
As mensagens de texto com um narcisista são compostas por estes três elementos:
• voluntarily receiving crumbs from them
• justifying their texting habits
• endless hoping that they will change.
While your intuition screams that something’s not right, the rational part of your brain refuses to believe it. E é assim que nos encontramos no meio da montanha-russa que é lidar com alguém que tem uma personalidade narcisista.
If you’re not quite sure whether you’re lidar com um narcisista or someone who is bad at texting, worry not because we’ve compiled examples of narcissist text messages to come to the rescue!
12 exemplos de mensagens de texto de narcisistas
Os seguintes exemplos de textos recebidos de narcisistas are a true depiction of their narcissistic personality. If the majority of these examples resonate with you, then you know who you’re dealing with.
1. Desvalorização dos textos
Os narcisistas precisam que sinta que o seu bem-estar e felicidade dependem deles. Dado que se vêem a si próprios como o centro do universo, esperam que também os veja como tal.
They can’t tolerate you being happy without them having anything to do with it. Para fazem-nos duvidar de nós próprios, utilizam iluminação artificial métodos, o tratamento silenciosoO que é que se passa com o seu filho?
Exemplos de textos de desvalorização:
• “I just want you to know that I did not enjoy your behavior today among our family members. I expect you to improve this next time.”
• “Are you sure about your choice of food? If you don’t change your eating habits, there’s no point in going to the gym. I mean, do what you want, but I can tell that you’ve already gained a few pounds, and it doesn’t really look nice.”
2. “The mind reader” texts
People with narcissistic personalities have the tendency to let you know that they know you better than you know yourself. Because of that, “they know what’s best for you.”
Escusado será dizer que utilizam este método apenas para fins de controlo para o fazer depender deles. Their main goal is to make you feel like you’re not capable of living without them. The more you let them believe this, the stronger they become.
Examples of “the mind reader” texts:
• “I know exactly what hair color/outfit/shoes would suit you best. So, don’t you dare contradict me.”
• “You say you feel good, but I know you’re lying. I know exactly what you need to start feeling better. Where would you be without me, right? You can thank me later.”
3. “CAPS LOCK” texts
Mandam-te mensagens regularmente, afastam-se, voltam a enviar-te mensagens e depois desaparecem. De repente, recebes uma mensagem em letras maiúsculas, que te deixa imediatamente impressionado.
Por que é que um narcisista te enviaria uma mensagem em letras maiúsculas?
Bem, fazem-no para disfarçar as suas inseguranças, provocá-lo ou desencadear uma reação intensa em si. Elas sabem o quanto te preocupas com elas e usam isso como combustível.
So, the more drama they create about their life, the more attached you’ll become to them. I daresay that caps lock texts are one of the sneakiest examples of narcissist text messages.
Narcissists send these texts to shock you, evoke empathy, and get you back if they’ve noticed you’re pulling away. Note-se que este tipo de textos são muitas vezes mentiras criadas especificamente para fins de manipulação.
Examples of “CAPS LOCK” texts:
• “I’M SO TIRED OF MY PARENTS, MY BOSS, AND EVERYONE ELSE IN MY LIFE WHO ARE NOT EVEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND ME. IF ONLY YOU KNEW HOW THEY TREAT ME, YOU WOULD NEVER TALK TO THEM AGAIN. I CERTAINLY DIDN’T DESERVE THIS TREATMENT, AND YOU KNOW IT TOO.”
• “WHAT THE HELL?! HOW COULD YOU IGNORE MY TEXTS WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW? THE WHOLE WORLD IS AGAINST ME, AND I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE ONE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS ME. I’M DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.”
4. “Blowing hot and cold” texts
Fantasma is every narcissist’s specialty. My friend’s ex-husband was a narc. At first, she thought he was her soulmate, but it turned out she was married to a legit malignant narcissist (extremely manipulative).
He would always give her mixed signals and send her “soprando quente e frio” texts to make her question his intentions. After that, he would apologize and tell her that he’d never do it again. Guess what? He was a great liar as well.
Psicologicamente, os sopros quentes e frios são utilizados principalmente para criar medo, incerteza e estabelecer o controlo. That’s why narcissists are addicted to this form of manipulation in both texting and other circumstances.
Examples of “blowing hot and cold” texts:
• “Hey babe, I hope you have a great day today. Let me know if you need anything.”
• (A few hours later): “Why are you texting me? You know I’m busy at work.”
• “Good night, honey bean. I just wanted to say how happy I was today when we were together. It was one of the best days of my life. I felt like time stopped, and there was only you and me in the whole world. Can’t wait to see you again. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”
• (Tomorrow morning): “Yeah, good morning to you too. Not into texting right now.”
5. “Desperate word salad” texts (to get you back)
Bombardeamento de amor é um dos tácticas de prospeção utilizadas pelos narcisistas para o atrair de novo. Chamo a isto a fase do bombardeamento amoroso, quando eles anseiam pelo seu suprimento narcísico: tu.
When they become desperate, they start bombarding you with text messages, phone calls, voicemails, you name it. They’ll probably send you lots of selfies as well.
Um exemplo de textos desesperados de salada de palavras:
• “Hi, honey. I know I haven’t been myself lately, but you also know that it takes two to tango. We have a great thing going, but this thing also requires maintenance and constant effort. You know I’m willing to give my best to make all this work, and I expect the same thing from you. This is the only way for us to protect our happiness and make the best of our relationship.”
6. “Sabotaging your confidence and self-worth” texts
If there’s one thing narcissists are truly great at, it is endangering your mental health. Abuso narcísico is not something we should take with a pinch of salt. Even texts and calls can leave severe scars on narcissists’ victims.
Dito isto, narcisistas vai passar muito tempo a criar mensagens de texto especificamente dedicadas a acabar com a sua autoestima. Isto inclui insultos, insultos e outras formas sorrateiras de o fazer questionar a sua autoestima.
Examples of “sabotaging your confidence and self-worth” texts:
• “How many times do I need to tell you to (do something)? Your incompetence is turning me into something I don’t want to be.”
• “You know I want the best for you, but I truly think this (thing) is not for you because you wouldn’t be good at it.
7. Textos a pedido
Todos os narcisistas têm um forte sentido de direito. Isto significa que acreditam que merecem um tratamento especial e toda a atenção da sua parte.
Procurar validação both on social media and from you is basically their hobby (but they’re not even aware of it). Quanto mais os fizermos sentir especiais, mais fortes se sentirão.
Mas este tratamento especial não se baseia nos elementos de uma relação saudável. Em vez disso, utilizam elementos de um relação abusiva para aumentar o seu ego. Um desses elementos tóxicos são os textos de exigência.
Exemplos de textos de procura:
• “Make me cookies.”
• “Take out the trash. It’s disgusting.”
• “Change that outfit. Doesn’t look good on you.”
8. “Emoji overload” texts to keep you guessing
When a narcissist feels like they’re losing controlPara isso, implementam tácticas exageradas para o manter na dúvida ou para o reconquistar. Uma dessas tácticas é a utilização excessiva de emojis nos textos.
A primeira vez que recebi um destes textos, fiquei convencido de que tinham feito um esforço tremendo para que o texto parecesse interessante e divertido. Enganei-me redondamente.
Well, the text did look interesting, but their intentions weren’t pure. Queriam manter-me na dúvida sobre a sua mentalidade e intenções actuais.
They succeeded because there’s nothing more painful than receiving these confusing texts that require in-depth analysis.
Examples of “emoji overload” texts:
• “Hello, I just wanted you to know that I can’t stop thinking about you all day ?????”
• “Do you want to know what I’m thinking about right now? ???? Maybe I’ll tell you later. ???”
9. Textos de Gaslighting
Quando um narcisista faz algo abusivo, precisa de encontrar uma forma de o fazer acreditar que o problema é seu e não dele. Para o conseguir, recorrem a comportamento passivo-agressivo ou gaslighting (ambas são formas de abuso emocional).
If you’ve ever received a gaslighting text, you probably felt confused and didn’t know how to react. You also started re-evaluating your recent behavior in hopes that you’d figure out what you did wrong.
Mas tudo isto foi infrutífero porque o verdadeiro problema é que eles fazem com que nos sintamos um problema, e não nós.
Exemplos de textos de gaslighting:
• “Seriously? You know I hate when you act this way.”
• “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
• “I can no longer tolerate such behavior from you.”
• “You’re imagining things.”
10. Textos noturnos
What a narcissist wants is 24/7 attention. When they text you, they expect an immediate response. If they don’t get it, they become upset.
When they don’t text you, they expect understanding. If they don’t get it, they become upset. A narcissist will send you late-night texts only to make you feel bad about not answering them when they “needed you most.”
Se desligar o telemóvel a meio da noite, pode esperar receber uma boa dose de julgamentos e comportamento narcísico tóxico deles.
Exemplos de mensagens de texto a altas horas da noite:
• “I’m so sick of everything.”
• “Are you sleeping?”
• “Why aren’t you answering me? I’m always there when you need me, and you’re never there when I need you.”
11. “Fake caring” texts
Pessoas com perturbação da personalidade narcísica (NPD) utilizam vários exemplos de mensagens de texto de narcisistas para o atrair de volta, manter o controlo ou simplesmente deixá-lo louco.
One of these texting examples is fake caring texts. It’s when you think that they’ve finally changed and are genuinely sorry about treating you badly.
Well, they’re not, but this is just another tactic to confuse you and play with your mind.
Examples of “fake caring” texts:
• “I hope you’re okay. I’m kind of worried about you because I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
• “Hey honey, how was your day? I expect you to tell me everything.”
• “You have no idea how much I miss you. Can’t stop thinking about you.”
12. “Fight trigger” texts
At one moment, everything seems perfect, and then a few minutes later, they start provoking you. You begin to question whether you’re that good at ignoring red flags or if there weren’t any in the first place.
Bem, eles próprios são uma GRANDE bandeira vermelha. Lidar com uma pessoa tóxica não tem princípio nem fim.
You’re constantly in the middle of something confusing, draining, and ultimately harmful. If not stopped, their toxic behavior often turns into violência doméstica.
Examples of “fight trigger” texts:
• “I haven’t forgotten about you ignoring my texts the other day!”
• “Why don’t you just say what you mean?”
• “Do you think the problem is me? Think again.”
Ver também: Como tornar um narcisista obcecado por si em 9 passos simples
Como responder a mensagens de texto de narcisistas
Texting with a narcissist is a draining experience in itself, so learning how to text them and protect yourself is a must. Here’s how you do it:
Ter limites
Don’t respond to their calls or text messages at bedtime. Also, don’t feel obligated to text them back at any time of the day or night.
Establish boundaries because that’s the only way to proteger-se da sua procura de atenção 24 horas por dia, 7 dias por semana. You don’t need to use your phone on vacation, and you don’t need to text them only to make them feel good about themselves.
Em vez disso, pense em si próprio.
Manter a simplicidade
Don’t take their word salad texts too seriously. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you fall for it, they win. The more you do everything they expect you to, the more they assume there’s nothing wrong with their selfish approach.
Você dita a forma como o tratam, por isso, o melhor a fazer é manter as coisas simples. Envie uma resposta simples (nem muito, nem pouco).
Evitar o drama através de texto
Se notar que as coisas estão a agravar-se e que a pessoa quer ter uma conversa séria consigo ao telefone, sugira que falem pessoalmente.
Avoid drama over text because if you don’t, a narcissist will use this to their advantage. They won’t stop tormenting you over text only to make you feel bad about not responding or taking them seriously.
Adotar uma abordagem neutra
Instead of arguing with a narcissist, a neutral approach is recommended. Don’t try to show them that you’re right and they’re wrong.
Don’t try to make them feel bad about their actions because they’ll always find a way to prove that you’re wrong.
No matter what you do or say, they’ll find a way to keep controlling you. So, take a neutral approach so they don’t have material for their further tendências narcísicas e manipuladoras.
Cortá-los
Por vezes, a única forma de lidar com os narcisistas é cortar-lhes o contacto. Com isso, quero dizer bloqueá-los e nunca mais responder às suas mensagens de texto.
O bloqueio dar-lhe-á tempo para avaliar a sua relação com um narcisista e também para seguir em frente de vez. Claro que, se quiser dar-lhes uma segunda oportunidade, pode sempre desbloqueá-los. O bloqueio pode ser uma forma de a regra de não contacto.
What Happens When You Ignore A Narcissist’s Text?
Quando se ignora um narcisista’s text, they become upset because you’re not giving them the attention they need. Se ignorar um narcisista, pode esperar que ele faça algumas ou todas as seguintes coisas:
• send you angry texts demanding for you to text them back
• send you fake caring and worry texts to reel you back in
• stalk you
• bombard you with phone calls, voicemails, word salad texts.
Lembre-se de que um narcisista se alimenta da sua atenção, cuidado e afeto por ele. Isto aumenta o seu ego porque, em poucas palavras, os narcisistas são bastante inseguros.
Once they lose their narcissistic supply (you), they become scared, and they’ll be willing to do anything to get you back, only to keep feeding off your love and attention.
Reflexões finais
If the above examples of narcissist text messages resonate with you, then you know they’re not bad at texting. Instead, é um verdadeiro narcisista que sabe exatamente o que está a fazer e porque o faz.
Uma das coisas mais importantes é lembrar-se de não deixar que eles influenciem a sua autoestima ou o façam questionar-se de alguma forma.
Proteger-se é a sua prioridade número um, e pode fazê-lo estabelecendo limites e mantendo as coisas neutras. Se as coisas se tornarem insuportáveis, cortar todos os contactos (temporária ou permanentemente) também é uma opção.
