Being nervous before getting married is not without good reason—it happens quite often that two lovebirds fall in love extremely fast, and then out of nowhere, they find themselves walking down the aisle. It seems romantic, spontaneous and overall successful, but the reality hits them not too long after that and it ends up in a fiasco.

Because of this, psychologists and relationship experts came together and did a study in which they came up with 4 essential questions you have to ask your partner before marrying him, and today we bring you all of them:

1. Are we going to have kids?

Maybe it doesn’t seem important to ask this at such an early stage of a relationship, but after a year or two of marriage, one can express the wish to become a parent. If the other doesn’t want to or is not ready to have kids, it can lead to long-term problems. Fights will be hard to avoid and having a divorce is just a matter of time.

2. Do you like my parents?

Again, this doesn’t seem like the most important question before getting married—one could say that it’s even trivial and that they don’t care about it. But having an unclear relationship with your spouse’s parents can lead to problems in the long run. A lot of couples involved in the study reported that their marriage crises have been caused by problems with mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law. In a marriage, teamwork is the most important thing, and it can’t be achieved without knowing exactly where your partner stands on the parent’s issue.

3. Are we having separate bank accounts?

Whether we like it or not, money is a very important factor while considering the future with your significant other. You need to know what your partner thinks about money in a marriage and what are his spending habits. Do you need to have separate bank accounts? Are my debts automatically your debts, too? It can seem silly at the beginning and cause comments like: “We’ll figure something out”, but it can get pretty awkward when you and your partner have different views on money.

4. How important is sex to you?

Before you embark on this special journey together, you have to know exactly what your partner thinks about sex. Are you two already having a good enough sex life? Does it need some improvements? Do either of you have some hidden fetishes? Your sex life can heavily impact your marriage, and if you two are 100% sure what each of you needs and expects in bed then you have nothing to worry about.