If somebody were to ask us, “How do you tell someone you miss them? What’s The best way?” our quickest and most immediate response would be to just tell them. Text them, call them, tell them to their face. And as simple as that may sound, at times we find it difficult to do so for various reasons. We would rather beat around the bush than say it openly.
When deciding on the best way to tell somebody you miss them, the first thing you should do is consider the nature of the relationship you are in. Things aren’t always as easy as they seem.
· You might miss someone who you’ve been dating for a short period of time.
· Maybe you just miss your boyfriend/girlfriend and they are on a trip of some sort and you want them to know how you feel.
· You might miss somebody because you are in a long-distance relationship.
· You are crushing over somebody who lives in another, town, country or even continent.
· You might even miss somebody you are seriously involved with or you are living with them but you have grown apart.
So, when deciding on how to tell someone you miss them, you have to see the bigger picture, or better said the real picture—you have to be honest with yourself about what stage your relationship is at and then find the right way to express your feelings.
A simple ‘miss you’ can change a lot. It brings people closer, gets them more connected and it makes them reconsider and work harder on their relationships.
So, with regards the nature of the relationship you are in, these are the best ways to express that remarkable “I miss you” feeling:
1. When you just started dating or you have been dating for a short time.
If you are just starting something or your relationship is just about to take off, by saying, “I miss you,” you are putting your feelings out in the open and possibly taking your relationship to the next level. Three words, so simple yet so powerful.
The best thing to do here is to simply text ‘I miss you’. It’s simple, straightforward, open and honest. It’s a bold move. But it’s also a great test to see if you are on the same page with the person you are in love with. And if he misses you too, you will immediately know that your relationship is headed in the right direction.
If you don’t want to be so blunt about it, there are some different ways to say the same:
· I’ve been thinking of you.
· Can’t wait to see you again.
· I don’t know what’s up with me but I can’t get you out of my head.
You could also send a goodmorning or goodnight text or send them a hug or kiss emoji in the middle of the day for no reason. If they happen to ask why, tell them you just thought of them and wanted them to know, something along those terms. Just remember to keep it simple. The worst case scenario is that he ignores your text, in which case you will know where you stand. Even though that’s unlikely, as he will probably share your sentiment.
2. When you miss your boyfriend/girlfriend.
You are in a firm relationship but you feel the urge to say that you miss them. Saying the actual words can only make the relationship firmer. They might be away on business, on vacation, visiting family… whatever it is, saying you miss them will most definitely make their day. And if ‘I miss you’ is something that is hard to say or if you want to say it in a more special way.
You probably have your own inside jokes and things only the two of you know, so you can find a lot of ways to make saying ‘I miss’ you more personal. You can allude that you miss their closeness and say that you miss their hugs. You could also say…
My bed feels empty without you.
Your hug would make my entire day.
I would much rather kiss you than miss you.
You could send a selfie from time to time or ask them to send you theirs (it will show them that you miss them and want to see their face).
You could send them a photo of something symbolic, like the place you guys kissed for the first time, something meaningful for both of you.
3. In the case of a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationships are hard work all by themselves. And saying you miss them can become redundant. It seems that’s all you keep saying, all the time. That’s why you want to make things more interesting by saying ‘I miss you’ in a more special way.
· Choose FaceTime instead of calling, in case you are not doing it already. It’s more personal and it keeps you closer and more connected even if you are miles apart. It’s an ‘I miss you message’ all in itself.
· Reminisce about some special moments you shared. Tell them what you liked most about those moments. Say that you cherish those moments because they make it a bit easier to wait, when you know what you are waiting for.
· Make some future plans to create some new unforgettable moments and memories. It will tell them that you miss them and that you spend a lot of time contemplating the moment when you will see each other again.
· Send postcards or letters. Include some personal message with ‘I miss you’ at the end. It’s old school and they won’t see it coming. It’s a great way to surprise somebody and show them you miss them in the most special way.
· Send chocolates, flowers or something you know your partner will love. Sometimes a little gesture can tell someone you miss them big time.
4. When you are crushing over somebody who lives far away.
The question here is not just, “How do you tell someone you miss them?” but it’s also, “Is it a good idea to tell them you miss them at all?” You might be starting to fall for this person and it’s up to your personal choice and assessment to see what to do because not everybody is in the same situation.
You keep on talking to them non-stop, day and night, about anything and everything and you are becoming really close. But if you haven’t started talking about the two of you in a more romantic sense, saying ‘I miss you’ this early on is really risky. And it’s better to take things slowly and let them evolve at their own pace. That’s why you might choose some more subtle ways to do it, such as:
· Publish an Instagram or Facebook story that is related to something you talked about or where the two of you are the only ones who can get a hidden meaning, but don’t make it too obvious.
· Post a YouTube video of a song that you are both listening to these days or some old song you’ve been talking about.
· Post a photo of a place you’ve been wanting to visit with #cantwait
· If you are bold, tell them you can’t wait to see them; I am sure they will feel the same way.
5. When you are missing somebody even though you are in the same room as them.
This is most definitely the most heartbreaking way in which you can miss a person, to be so close yet so far away. To have them so near, to be able to look in their eyes, sleep beside them and yet feel like they are so distant.
Sometimes, couples in longer relationships or marriages tend to take each other for granted or hold some resentments without the other person knowing. They forget how important it is to spend time together. Life gets hectic, work becomes overwhelming and kids demand more energy and time. However, you should never forget how much you mean to one another and make some ‘alone’ time for just the two of you.
So, how to tell someone you miss them in situations like this?
Communication is the key here. Talk openly, without holding anything back; they might not know how you feel or what you think, they might not even look at it as a problem. Don’t let your silence make it a bigger problem than it already is. Tell them you miss them and tell them why that is so.
Tell your partner you miss them, you miss spending time with them, you miss your long conversations, hugs, kisses, and laughter.
On the other hand, if your partner is familiar with the situation and doesn’t want to do anything to change it, you might reconsider your entire relationship and if it is really worth the effort. If you are always the one who gives more than you should and receives nothing or almost nothing in return, the odds are you are in a one-sided relationship. And you will just keep missing your partner. In any case, talk them and see how they feel.
Leah Lee – Writer. Dreamer. Adventurer. Eternal Optimist.
I am an English language and literature professor and writing came naturally alongside that. It was something I did for me until I decided to share it with the rest of the world.
I write about love, emotions, relationship issues and ways to solve them and most importantly about empowering women to become the best versions of themselves.
My inspiration comes from all that I’ve been through in life, and it was a bumpy road but full of valuable lessons. I hope that my experience will do some good to all of those who like to read my work.