Whether they like to admit it or not, the truth is that most women test men.
If you want to pick up a girl, it is quite probable that she’ll put you through a series of shit tests right from the first date to see if you’re boyfriend material before she actually agrees on entering a long-term relationship with you.
You see, the dating scene today is rough, especially for girls.
A lot of men attract women just to use them sexually and emotionally, and end up turning their back on them once they see they can have them, so there are many tests women simply have to put on them before they let them into their heart.
Are you a nice guy who deserves a chance or a jerk she should run away from?
Are you the type of guy who will hurt her or someone who wants the real deal?
These are all the questions running through every girl’s mind before she even gives agrees on a second date, let alone sees you as someone deserving of her.
That is what a woman’s tests are all about: to try to protect herself from getting hurt and get to the bottom of your intentions.
Even though you see this as a pain in the ass, you simply can’t make women stop doing this.
Besides, the situation in which a woman tests you is actually good for you.
It’s a sign that a girl likes you enough to consider having a future together and she wants something serious with you.
It’s a sign that she’s fallen for you hard and now she just wants to see whether you’re really worthy of her love and attention.
Otherwise, why would she waste her energy on someone temporary?
However, guys who attract women know the difference between a girl who’s testing them and one who’s simply not interested.
Well, that’s why we’re here: to give you 9 telltale signs a woman is testing you, to help you pass each one of them, and to bring your dating life to the next level.
1. She’s been hurt before
Usually, the girls who have a habit of putting men through shit tests before entering a long-term relationship with them are the girls who’ve had a troubled and painful romantic history and been through hell in this harsh dating world.
You see, this girl was betrayed and played by the person she loved the most.
She was abandoned by the guy who promised to be by her side until the end of time, so she got disappointed in all men and the entire dating scene.
Consequently, she developed deep trust issues and emotional traumas.
Even though years might have passed since this event took place, this girl still carries a lot of emotional baggage from her past relationships.
She’s learned how to be guarded and overly careful when it comes to men, because she expects that every guy she meets will treat her the way her ex did.
She’s simply scared that every next relationship she gets herself involved in will end up the same way and she’ll be left crushed and devastated.
That’s exactly why she’s developed a habit of testing guys before giving them full access to her heart.
It is not that she’s trying to see whether you match her impossible standards, she just wants to make sure that you care enough, that you’re worthy of her love and attention.
Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me trying to tell you that you’re obligated to pass all those tests or that you should pay for the things the men before you did.
In fact, I’m just trying to make you understand why she does what she does.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that every heartbroken girl will put her potential boyfriend through a series of shit tests, but the fact is that in most cases, women test men when they’ve been hurt in their past relationships, and this is the thing you should pay attention to in the first place whenever you wonder if a girl is testing you.
2. She plays hard to get
When a girl likes you but is playing hard to get, that’s one of the most important signs she is testing your patience.
She wants to see how long you’re prepared to wait before she lets you in her heart and bedroom.
If a girl is testing you, she’ll constantly pretend that she’s running away from you just so she can see whether you’ll go after her.
However, she’ll never actually get away from you completely.
Instead, when women test you, they’ll always remain at arm’s length and within your reach – they just want to see whether you are ready to put in an effort and have enough inner confidence to come and get them.
Also, this girl’s probably scared that you’ll lose interest the moment she shows you her feelings, so she pretends to act heartless instead.
She is scared of showing her emotions because that would also mean exposing her vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and fragile side, which would give you more chances to hurt her and destroy her inner confidence sometime in the future.
It doesn’t have to necessarily mean that this girl is into playing games.
In fact, she probably just wants to see if you’re someone who gives up easily or a strong man who knows what he wants and is ready to fight for the woman he cares for.
Basically, this girl pretends to be a cold-hearted queen for most of the time, just to see if you’re strong enough to break her walls.
She’s someone who rarely shows initiative, a girl who never makes the first move towards you and always leaves you wondering where you two stand.
She won’t invite you for a second date, she won’t call you to meet up, and she won’t make any step towards you two being together.
There are times when you can’t help but ask yourself if this girl likes you at all or she is just trying to make you catch her.
Is she completely uninterested or actually crazy about you?
Well, there’s a fine line between a girl who wants you out of her life and one who is playing hard to get – the real magic lies in your ability to differentiate between these two.
When a girl is playing hard to get, her vibe and body language signs will show you that she’s actually into for you.
She can’t help but flirt with you, stare at you, accidentally touch you, or be as close to you as possible.
She won’t sleep with you on the first date, but she will give you hints that she finds you sexually attractive and might allow you to hold her hand or even kiss her.
On the contrary, when she is not interested, she won’t give you a place in her life at all.
This girl probably won’t ask you out first, but she’ll definitely agree to meet you when you suggest something or offer a rain check.
On the other hand, when she isn’t interested, she’ll refuse all of your proposals and always be too busy to see you or talk to you.
A girl who is playing hard to get will never tell you that she likes you upfront, but she won’t tell you that she is indifferent either, nor will she ever give you a flat no.
However, when she’s not interested, she won’t hesitate to make things clear and leave you with no hope whatsoever.
3. She asks you about your past
Another way women test you is by digging through your past and asking you about your dating life before her.
This girl is no exception: She’ll try to find out if you’re just a nice guy in disguise who only uses women for sex oractually nothing but a narcissist who enjoys breaking other people’s hearts, and if she should run away from you pronto.
It’s perfectly normal that she wants to know if you’re a classified abuser or a cheater, if you have a history of treating women like crap, and whether most of your relationships ended because of you.
After all, if you have a bad reputation in the dating world and are known to be a player who has the habit of using beautiful women, what can she expect from you in the future and how can she see you as boyfriend material?
Also, she’ll ask you about your ex-girlfriends to check your character.
Are you a douchebag who talks shit about the person he spent years next to or do you still treat your ex with respect, even though the love you had for her is long gone?
Are you ready to spill all the trash you have on her just to make yourself look better, or are you a mature man who takes his part of the responsibility?
Will you go into details when talking about your exes or remain a gentleman who knows exactly how much he should say?
Do you have a habit of staying friends with your exes?
Do you still have feelings for someone from your past and are you trying to use her as your rebound?
No, this girl won’t ask you any of these questions upfront.
However, she will find out all the answers she needs from just listening to everything you have to say about your romantic history.
What you need to be aware of is that this girl probably knows much more than you might think.
She probably already has all the answers but just wants to know whether you’ll be honest enough to tell her your side of the story.
4. She talks about her exes
If you’re looking for obvious signs that a girl is putting you through some shit tests to learn more about you, pay attention to the way she talks about her exes, without you even having to ask her about them.
There are a few things she can find out about you while mentioning her ex, such as whether you have a tendency to be a possessive jealous jerk and how you’d react in certain situations.
The last thing you should do is act all offended because she had the nerve to mention someone she dated before you.
After all, you two aren’t kids and you are very well aware that you’re involved with a woman who has a past.
Of course, it would be rude and tacky if she started talking about some intimate details regarding one of her ex boyfriends, but everything else is perfectly normal.
Bear in mind that the two of you are getting to know each other, so it’s natural that she wants to briefly introduce you to her romantic history.
She wants you to know more about the type of guys she likes, her deal breakers, and the things she enjoys doing or doesn’t tolerate in a relationship.
Pay close attention to every word she says because she’s trying to send you a subtle message.
This girl will monitor your reaction if she, for example, tells you that she’d been cheated on or abused in the past.
Are you outraged or do you see it as something that simply happens and you would possibly do?
5. She meets you with her friends
Sometimes, a girl knows that she likes you but that’s not enough for her to make up her mind about you.
She’s probably so blindsided by the depth of her emotions that they affect her judgment- skills.
She’s scared that she’ll fail to see you for who you really are or disregard your numerous flaws due to the fact that she’s crazy for you and scared that she’ll make the wrong choice if she lets her heart decide.
Therefore, she needs a more realistic point of view.
She needs someone who doesn’t care about you and see you through rose-tinted glasses, but also someone whose opinion she can trust.
And who’s better for the job than her friends who won’t hesitate to tell her everything upfront?
Yes, when she meets you with her BFFs, it’s a surefire sign that the girl likes you and there’s a huge step ahead.
It’s a sign that she has serious intentions with you and wants to make you a part of her life.
After all, no girl introduces a random hookup or a casual fling to her loved ones, so this makes you pretty special.
However, it’s also a test for you.
First and foremost, she wants to see if the people she trusts and cares for thinks the two of you would be a good match
What is her friends’ intuition telling them about you?
How do they evaluate you: as a nice guy who’s worthy of her or a douchebag who has a chance of breaking her heart?
You might think of this as silly, but that’s how things function among girls.
Yes, she’s a grown woman and doesn’t need anyone’s permission to be with you, but that doesn’t mean that her BFFs cannot help you win her heart even more (or lose her for good).
Another thing she’s trying to test is how well you would fit in her life.
Could you get along with her closest friends or would you be an outcast in her social circle?
Knowing all of this, you understand the importance of leaving a great first impression on this girl’s friends.
Don’t forget to act like a gentleman with manners, but show them that you have enough self-esteem and strength of character as well, because the last thing you want is them advising her to put you in the friend-zone.
6. She asks for your help
One of the signs she’s testing you is also hidden in the way she asks for your help.
No matter how self-sufficient a girl is, every woman wants to have an at least equally mentally strong man by her side.
Even if she doesn’t actually need you, she wants to know that she can rely on you, that you can protect her, and that she can count on you at all times.
And that’s exactly what she needs to make sure of before she starts anything serious with you.
Are you one of those men who can make women feel safe and secure? Or a guy who abandons her when she needs him the most?
You can expect her to call you, asking you to give her a hand with some errands around the house, to change her flat tire, or just to ask you for advice.
Watch out because she’s only doing this to test whether you’re ready to give her the first place in your life!
Are you ready to leave everyone hanging just to run to help her?
Would you come to pick her up in the middle of the night if she asks you to, even if you need to get up early the next morning?
Or you would leave her all alone to deal with her troubles and ignore her calls for help?
Are you ready to share your life with her and be her partner, even when things get rough?
Do you have what it takes to be her shoulder to cry on and can you be the man to push her forward when she is about to fall?
These are all some deeper and bigger things she’ll conclude based on your behavior in these seemingly unimportant situations.
You need to show this girl that you have the capacity to be her rock – that you’re a real, mature man.
However, you also need to be careful not to get used.
Don’t act like a puppy who’ll come running whenever she calls you, because that’ll only put you in the friend-zone.
Instead, strike a balance: Show her that she can count on you, but that you won’t be her personal assistant.
This way, she’ll appreciate you the most.
7. She mentions a lot of details about herself
Women are much different to a lot of men.
They pay attention to the little things – to dates and details – while men in most cases couldn’t care less about those things, no matter how deeply they care for someone.
When a woman tests you and is trying to find out how much she means to you, she’ll tell you a lot about herself.
She’ll give you loads of information that might seem irrelevant to you, such as her favorite color, the name of her first pet, or her favorite childhood memory.
These are all the things you have to remember in detail if you want to pass her shit tests, because otherwise, she’ll conclude that you aren’t listening to her, aren’t paying attention to anything she’s saying, and in the end, don’t give a damn about her.
Sounds exhausting and overly dramatic, I know.
However, this is how things are and you just have to deal with it if you want to pick up the girl you like.
You have to notice every change about her appearance, even if it isn’t that obvious.
At the same time, don’t dare forget her birthday, the date when the two of you met, or her best friend’s name.
8. She withholds sex
Let’s be honest, we all enjoy having sex. All of us have physical needs and crave to sleep with someone we are attracted to.
And this girl is no exception. No matter what she’s trying to make you think, if she’s involved with you, she probably can’t wait to sleep with you as well.
However, she won’t do it until she realizes sex is not the only thing on your mind.
Instead, she’ll probably withhold sex for a while and use it as a way to test your feelings for her.
This is the girl who doesn’t want to have casual physical relations or a no-strings-attached relationship and she’s checking if that’s what you’re looking for.
She’s offering the real deal and the whole package, meaning that you can’t get her body without her mind and her heart.
Therefore, if you turn your back on her the moment you realize she isn’t willing to sleep with you just yet, it means you only wanted to use her for sex.
It means you aren’t interested in her as a person and only had one thing in mind ever since you met her.
However, if you’re ready to wait until she becomes comfortable enough to sleep with you and the two of you reach a different level of intimacy, it’s more than clear that you’re a guy who’s worthy of her giving you her entire being.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t mention or initiate sex at all (because that would make her think you’re not attracted to her or that there’s something wrong with you) or flirt with her, but you need to learn how to accept when she tells you “no” upfront, despite what her vibe and body language might be telling you.
Instead of pushing her past her limits and showing her that you’re nothing but an immature jerk who only cares about getting laid, respect this girl’s personal boundaries and I assure you that she’ll respect you as a man too.
There’s no need for her to be apologizing for the fact that she’s still not ready to sleep with you and you should have no problem with that.
9. She’s testing you through text
One of the most common tests women impose on their men is through texting.
There are many signs she is testing you over text and here are the most common ones:
- She never texts you first
If a girl’s not interested in you, you can send her a million texts and never get her to communicate with you.
Nevertheless, when it comes to the girl who’s putting you through some shit tests, the situation is quite different.
The fact is that your communication is always flowing when the two of you are talking.
It’s apparent that she wants you to continue talking, but she’s never the one who initiates anything;she never texts you first.
It’s more than obvious that this girl doesn’t want to appear desperate.
She is an old soul and thinks that you, as a man, should always be making the first moves.
Besides, this is also part of her test. She wants to see if you are really into her or will give up as soon as you don’t get the reaction you want.
- Her responses are delayed
When a woman doesn’t respond to your texts right away without giving you an explanation or apologizing for her rude behavior, the first thing that comes to your mind is that she’s not interested.
However, this can also be one of the signs that she is testing you.
This is nothing more that this woman’s test – her way of seeing whether you’ll wait for her to text you back or immediately move on to the next beautiful woman you meet.
Are you serious about her or is she just one in a long line of others?
However, the point is that she always responds, sooner or later.
She just doesn’t want you to think that she spends her entire day eager for you to text her, that she doesn’t have anything better to do than to text with you.
Also, this is one of the ways women test men to check their patience and self-esteem.
Will you go all crazy if you she takes hours to respond or will you just say “no problem” and accept is as something perfectly normal?
- She puts minimal effort in replying
Another of the shit tests girls put men through texting is putting minimal effort in replying.
While she does respond to your text, her messages are always short and put you in a position in which you have to drag words out of her.
Trust me, if you’re annoying her, she would’ve blocked you ages ago.
It’s clear that she’s interested but she wants to see how hard you’re willing to try to win her attention over.