The moment you start looking for warning signs that your wife wants to leave you, it’s high time to take serious action.
Your marriage could still be salvageable but first, you have to look at this from her point of view and reflect on why things have started to fall apart.
Married couples go through so much together so it’s perfectly normal to hit a few bumps.
After spending a lot of time constantly together, there will be some friction.
The only question is, can you fix things after so many years of marriage or are the issues too far gone?
Check out the bad signs that your wife is intent on divorcing you, indications that you are ready for that step and tips to save your marriage!
See also: Feeling Unloved? Here Are The Possible Reasons Why And How To Change It
18 Telltale Signs That Your Wife Wants A Divorce
She’s become emotionally detached
Your emotional connection has been severed. You’ve been feeling it for some time now but you’ve been hesitant to face it head-on.
You can’t remember the last time she said I love you. And all the future plans you looked forward to seem to be on permanent hold.
She doesn’t seem interested in sharing any emotional connection with you and there’s an almost palpable wall between you.
Have you been ignoring the red flags of a marriage breakdown for too long? Is your wife distancing herself from you one day at a time?
She doesn’t care about your whereabouts any longer
She used to want to know where you were and when you’d be coming home, which you always saw as a sure sign of her love and devotion.
But lately, she’s been completely uninterested in your whereabouts. It’s as if she loves her alone time too much.
If you stay at home, she gives you no attention and when you leave, she doesn’t care.
And it’s been seriously affecting your mental health. As if searching for signs that your wife wants to leave you isn’t bad enough.
But the silent treatment could truly be the final nail in the coffin.
You have a history of repeating the same issues
You’re not happy to admit it, but you tend to be a bit of a narcissist at times. Your wife pointed it out a few times, but you find it hard to change your ways.
And every time you have an opportunity to show her that you’re willing to work on a healthy relationship, you blow it.
There’s a lack of communication but you don’t really care. She’s been talking about seeing a marriage counselor but you’re not into that either.
It’s like you love your wife but only to a certain extent. If you’re asked to put her first and yourself second, it’s an issue for you.
You can’t remember the last time you spent quality time together
You know that this definitely isn’t a good sign but you can’t seem to be able to change it.
Every time you suggest doing something together, she cancels at the last minute. Every time you try to make a move, she backs off.
Lately, it’s all about the kids, work and finances.
You can’t remember why she married you in the first place and after noticing so many common signs of a marriage breakdown, is there hope?
You don’t want to be a skeptic but how can you work on something when she doesn’t want to?
Related: 11 Warning Signs Your Ex Is Turning Your Child Against You
She is constantly resentful and critical of you
Maybe she’s a stay-at-home mom who yearns for some changes and she’s been taking it out on you.
All long-term relationships go through a rocky patch and after staying home and taking care of the house and bills and constantly running errands, maybe she secretly resents that you get to leave.
After all, you have a break from them but what does she have? You have to be able to see it through her perspective.
I can assure you that her constant criticism isn’t unfounded. Ask her openly about it and truly listen to what she has to say.
She has started hiding her phone and laptop around you
Lately, your wife has been extremely secretive. Every time you go near her, she clutches her gadgets as if she’s keeping state secrets on there.
Could she be hiding something? I can’t say for sure but it’s definitely a red flag. All there’s left to do is address it and hope for the best.
You’ve noticed some of her personal belongings are missing
The accessories that she recently ordered from Amazon didn’t arrive at your home address (weird). Her stuff, like vases, picture frames and jewelry are no longer where she normally keeps them.
Things have been missing and even though she thinks you haven’t noticed it, you totally have.
You’re dreading what this could mean. You cannot bring yourself to utter the words… but is she making plans for a divorce process?
Could she be moving her stuff away to her new place? There’s only one way to find out.
She refuses physical contact
You haven’t done the deed in way too long. Every time you suggest it, she always has an excuse ready.
Either she has a bad headache or she’s just too tired or there are so many things on her mind that she can’t even think about it now.
But all you hear is no. For a while, you gave her the benefit of the doubt but now, you’re starting to suspect something’s really wrong.
See also: Inappropriate Friendships When Married: Are They Really ‘Just Friends’?
You suspect that she’s having an emotional affair
Out of all the signs that your wife wants to leave you, if this one’s true, it’s one that could cause irrevocable damage.
Emotional affairs are the worst. Confiding in another man about her most innermost issues means she no longer sees you as her closest confidante.
You’ve lost that connection you once shared and now you’re a mere stranger in your own home going through an affair recovery. But can you go back to how it was?
See Also: Lesbian Wife: 10 Telltale Signs You’re Living With A Closet Lesbian
She doesn’t validate your opinions anymore
Your wife doesn’t care about what you have to say; not about your kids, not regarding her work and not regarding anything she used to rely on you for.
You could tell her that you think she looks smashing and she’d be indifferent. She’s stopped taking your opinions into consideration.
She spends all of her time with her girlfriends…
She’s always had a trusted circle of her close friends and you’ve always encouraged her to spend time with them.
You love that she has them to have her back and be there for her, especially when you can’t. But now, she’s been spending the majority of her time with them.
There’s no longer a healthy balance of quality time with her family. Her friends take the top spot and you’re left with crumbs of her attention.
… and if she’s not with them, she’s at work (more than she has to be)
It’s as if she’s purposely choosing to not spend time with you.
Is this one of the most telltale signs that your wife wants to leave you? It definitely could be.
If she keeps making decisions that keep her away from you, it’s time to reevaluate your marriage.
It’s not a good sign that her friends and work keep taking all of her attention. Ask yourself this: What could be causing this?
She has gone through a big change recently
• Did she lose her job?
A loss of a job might have made her think long and hard about her priorities. A change such as this one leaves a mark and causes people to reevaluate their lives.
• Have you recently welcomed a baby?
Having a child is never a saving grace for a marriage. If you’re not rock-solid, don’t expect a baby to help you forge a stronger connection.
It’s only going to create a wedge if things have been on shaky ground.
• Have you moved despite her not wanting to?
Forcing your wife to move somewhere despite her protests may be the tipping point that made her decision to divorce you easier.
There may be other underlying issues but this was her breaking point.
• Has she reached new success at work?
Upon experiencing newfound success at work, people’s egos get inflated.
If now she’s making more money, she could be reevaluating if she still needs you to support her. It’s childish but very common.
See also: Accept People For Who They Are Instead Of Trying To Change Them
The more you reach out, the more she pushes you away
This is another one of the great signs that your wife wants to leave you.
All of your advances are pushed away and the more you try to get near her, the more uninterested she becomes.
It’s as if your wife feels disgusted by your touch and it hurts you on so many levels. You are constantly torn between completely giving up and trying even harder.
You’ve been finding strange documents around your home
Is she looking for a new place to live? Could she be seeing a realtor and trying to find a new location behind your back?
Observe the documents when you’re home alone and Google them if you manage to take a peak. That’ll tell you all you need to know.
She’s been showing an uncharacteristically vast interest in your kids
Spouses who are getting ready to leave make sure to do anything in their power that’ll help them in the custody battle.
This is why your wife has been showing a keen interest in your kids’ extracurricular activities and being very lenient with them.
She’s ‘buying’ their love and attention so as to ensure they want to remain with her in case they get to have a say in the process.
She fights for the sake of fighting
You could literally be sitting on a couch reading a book and she’ll approach you and bite your head off for not doing something else.
It’s like she wants to pick a fight. She keeps finding reasons to bicker, to somehow make it easier on herself.
There’s no point in trying to make sense of this.
If your wife is adamant to leave, there’s not much you can do to change her mind other than keeping a cool head and trying to get to the bottom of her behavior.
Your gut is telling you that something’s seriously off
And finally, you know that you can always trust your gut. No matter the situation or the circumstances, so far, it’s always been right.
And that’s what frightens you. You don’t want it to be right.
You desperately want to wake up next to your wife, having realized that this was all a dream… But it’s all too real.
Your marriage is in shambles and you want to find a way to win your wife back but you’re out of moves.
Should you finally cave in? Could it be time to end your marriage?
See also: Breaking The Stereotype: The Essence Of Being A Free Spirit
How Can You Save Your Marriage?
Communication is KEY so have an honest heart-to-heart
I know you’ve probably heard this a million times but it honestly cannot be stressed enough. Communication can make or break you.
At first, it feels as if you can read each other’s minds. You don’t even have to speak and it feels like such a special connection. Telepathy in love, right?
However, over time, this telepathy becomes a nuisance. The thing that initially attracted you to your partner slowly becomes the thing that wreaks havoc on your marriage.
Do you know why this happens? Because you both get too comfortable in your silence that it starts taking a toll on your marriage.
Yes, it’s nice that you know how your wife feels without her having to say it but what’s even nicer is approaching her and asking her how she is nevertheless, sitting down next to her and actually listening to her.
You might be surprised at what you hear.
So enough with the mind-reading and assuming. Voice your love, opinions and worries. Have heart-to-hearts and don’t ever take your connection for granted.
Work on conflict resolution and clear the air on pressing issues
My bet is that there are some underlying issues that are not being addressed.
By now, you’ve established a lack of communication as one of the signs your wife wants to leave you. Let’s turn the tables.
I want you to be the first to clear the air on any concerns that you suspect are bothering your wife. Show her your willingness to face the tough stuff.
She needs to know that you won’t keep running away from the pressing issues.
No marriage is without its flaws so put on your big boy pants and get to work.
Things won’t magically heal overnight; that only happens in movies. But what will happen is you’ll get one step closer to reconciliation.
You’ll start to gain your wife’s trust back and it’ll be a great first step toward a better tomorrow.
Keep it up, stay relentless in your intent to get her back and things just might work out.
Make sure she knows you’re always available when she’s feeling low
Women need to know they have their partner to rely on at all times. Let’s be honest here; women truly do have it harder.
Who’s more likely to be a stay-at-home parent, you or your wife?
And who’s most probably doing the majority of the household chores? I think we all know the answer to that.
And there are countless little things that I’m not even going to mention here. You know what they are so the least you can do is be her support whenever she needs you.
Recognize when she’s feeling low and be there for as long as she needs you. Even if there’s a big game on.
Even if you’ve made plans with your buddies. Your wife’s needs should trump your little gatherings that can totally be rescheduled.
Do you have any idea how much it’ll mean to her seeing that you chose to stay with her instead of going out with the guys?
These things don’t go unnoticed. And the thing is, you should never do it because you feel obliged to, you should do it because you want to!
See also: Powerful Ways To Increase Self-Love And Stop Feeling Unwanted
Fight for your marriage and make her your priority
From personal experience, I can honestly tell you that the one thing that really bugs me is when I don’t feel like a priority.
Yes, you’ve made a commitment and yes, you are loyal to her but do you put her before everyone else?
That’s the real question.
Your wife is your partner through all things in life.
She’s the one who sees you on your good days, loves you on your bad days and sticks around for the unbearable ones.
She’s the one holding your hand when you get bad news. She’s the one bending over backward to make you happy.
And how do you repay her? Be honest with yourself. Do you put her first?
Do you prioritize her over everyone else? She deserves it even when she’s being hormonal and unreasonable.
She deserves it even when she’s yelling at you for the hundredth time to put your plate in the sink.
No matter how hard some days are, she’s always the first one you need to run things by.
If she doesn’t feel prioritized, she will constantly wonder if she’s doing something wrong. No, she’s not. You are. How about changing it?
Find ways to reconnect and rebuild the trust in your marriage
When you’re at a crossroads, the thing you need to ask yourself is what you can do to change things for the better. How can you make your wife see that your marriage is worth it?
For starters, start with the small stuff. My guess is, you’ve slowly lost that sparkle and the romance is out the door.
The bond you shared is withering and you need to remind your wife that it’s still there.
For this to be better, you need to really make an effort to show your wife some love.
Do something you know she’ll appreciate it (after all, you know her best) and go out of your way to make her happy.
It doesn’t have to be a gift or anything material. Do the grocery shopping for her.
Surprise her with a clean house when she gets home from the gym. Bathe the kids and put them to bed.
This will show her that she can count on you again. It’ll make her see that she can trust you to have her back.
And it just might result in making her feel appreciated and cherished.
It doesn’t take a lot to win back her love. Simply be a loving, caring partner she knows she can depend on.
Make a weekly date and really make it count
Now we’ve got to the good stuff. The honeymoon phase is awesome and everything but after it fades, there has to be a sense of love and commitment or you’ll fall apart.
Don’t stop making time for each other just because you’re no longer the young kids in love from ten years ago.
Quite the contrary; make date nights a must!
Dedicate every Friday evening (or any day that works for you) to romantic dates. And you can’t flake!
The point is that you make the time even when your days are hectic.
Newsflash—there will always be something in your way but if you really want it, you’re going to make sure that it happens.
And there’s only one rule—no shop talk! In your case, no talking about the kids or their hobbies, household chores or bills.
Just be two people in love trying really hard to make it work.
This is your one day a week where everything else doesn’t matter. Make it count!
Appreciate the little things she does for you and your family
She doesn’t have to be a stay-at-home mom for you to appreciate all of her amazing efforts so start letting her know that you don’t take everything she does for granted.
From picking up the groceries, making sure the kids are where they need to be, planning birthday parties, going to PTAs and every other little thing you can think of.
Start saying thank you. Start showing your gratitude for such a devoted spouse.
She doesn’t have to be all hands on deck all the time. But she is nevertheless.
Some appreciation really goes a long way because she can easily decide that she doesn’t care anymore.
She can leave all the decision-making, pick-ups and shopping to you.
She could go to a wellness center with her girls and be unavailable for the entire weekend.
She could go out and party all night, then stay in bed the following day. But the thing is, she never will.
And now that you’re slowly starting to be aware of the love, devotion and sacrifice she shows every day, I hope you’ll start being much more appreciative.
Marriage counseling
It’s crazy to me how marriage counseling is seen as this negative thing. People act as if it means that you’re somehow failing but it’s the opposite!
Going to a professional means you are taking the time to truly do everything in your power to make your marriage work.
It means you’re far from giving up. When there are signs your wife wants to leave you, this is the thing that could change her mind.
Most men are embarrassed by this notion but if you really love your wife and want her to see that, you’ll go to marriage counseling.
You’ll let a professional help you work out the issues and delve deep into your life.
Once you go, you’ll see what the fuss is all about. Admittedly, I was a bit hesitant before I went for the first time but let me tell you something…
From then on, I haven’t missed a session.
It has become a saving grace for my relationship that has helped it in more ways than one.
So if you are at a crossroads, please, take this next step. I guarantee you that it’ll be the best thing you have ever done for your marriage.
When your relationship is worth it, do whatever it takes to save it.
See also: 30-Day Self-Love Challenge: Become The Best Version Of Yourself
5 Signs That You Should Proceed With The Divorce Process
There’s physical, emotional or verbal violence in your marriage
There are certain things that must never be overlooked and if one partner has shown signs of any sort of violence, the only way is out.
If you or your partner has resorted to emotional manipulation, extreme name-calling or, worst of all, physical violence, for the sake of everyone involved, end it.
No one deserves to suffer such horrendous treatment.
In this instance, divorce is the best thing, along with keeping a safe distance from one another.
Your wife is adamant that she wants a divorce and there’s no changing her mind
Some people simply know what they want. She isn’t confused, perplexed or hesitant about her wishes, she has informed you of what she wants and you can’t change her mind.
In my advice, don’t even try. There is no point trying to save a marriage with an individual who’s already one foot out the door.
It might seem impossible now but one day, you’ll meet someone who’ll be one hundred percent sure about you and then, you’ll realize how toxic this marriage actually was.
See also: Everything You Need To Know About A Transactional Relationship
She refuses to work on your issues and you keep hitting a brick wall
Trying to have a conversation with your wife is as futile as talking to a wall.
She just doesn’t want to address the circumstances, nor is she interested in hearing you out.
The weirdest thing is that she hasn’t specified that divorcing you is what she wants. All you’ve been able to figure out is her indifference.
And sometimes, that’s exactly what you need to know where you stand.
If she loved you or had any hope that your marriage could be saved, do you really think she’d be acting this way?
There is no mutual respect between you two
Your wife used to be the one person you had the utmost respect for. Nobody could say anything to change your mind. But now, that’s long gone.
You say the worst things to each other and you have zero respect for the other one. The person you used to think of so highly has stooped really low in your mind.
The worst thing is, you don’t even know how it happened.
You just woke up and realized that your outlook had changed significantly and you no longer see her the same way.
You’ve both changed in completely different directions
You no longer share the same values. Life took you on vastly different (and unexpected) paths, causing you to reevaluate your marriage.
It’s not necessarily that you resent them or hold grudges; you’ve merely come to a realization that you’re no longer the same people you were when you first got married.
It’s extremely difficult to admit this but you both changed and grew apart in the process.
Does it suck? Profoundly. But should you be honest with each other? One hundred percent.
Staying in a marriage that no longer means what it used to mean is unfair to both of you. People change. That’s just life for you.
If You Don’t Want Your Wife To Leave, You Need To Take Action
Now that you’ve gone through the signs that your wife wants to leave you (and all the ways in which you can stop it), what’s it going to be?
Are you going to sulk in silence and let a divorce attorney enter your lives or are you going to do something about it?
Yes, there are warning signs of a possible divorce but nothing’s set in stone yet!
You can still make sure your wife feels seen, heard and loved the way she deserves.
Marriage problems are anything but rare, so it’s all about pinpointing the issues and actively working on them.
Don’t let your best friend slip away if there’s something you can do about it.
Communicate now more than ever and show her you meant every word you said in your marriage vows.
Why? Because, “True love stands by each other’s side on good days and stands closer on bad days.” (Unknown)
