All men have one thing in common: they feel the urge to protect their loved ones and to take care of them.
This is called a hero instinct in men: every man’s biological drive to keep his dearest ones safe and sound and his need to earn respect from the rest of the world in the process.
But why is this hero instinct important for all men out there? Is it crucial for a happy relationship?
Most importantly: how to trigger the hero instinct in your man?
Well, if you read on, you’ll have all of these questions answered and you’ll find out everything there is to know about hero instinct in men.
What Is The Hero Instinct?
Simply put, the hero instinct is the basic, fundamental emotional need of every man. It’s what takes for him to feel important and essential – especially in his woman’s life and in the circle of his closest friends.
This need is what pushes him forward and makes him strive to be the best he can be. The simple truth is that no man can have a meaningful life unless he feels needed.
He sets high standards for himself and he sticks to them. Men fall for women who make them better, who make them work harder and who make them deserve their love.
Every man’s deepest desire is to be the one and only in his woman’s heart.
It’s a known fact that this kind of a behavior unlocks this natural instinct inside him. Give him your heart, let him be your rock, and don’t hesitate to vent to him. (premijesteno i dodana poneka rijec ili fraza u paragrafu)
Why Is The Hero Instinct Crucial For A Happy Relationship?
As a woman, you might not understand this but a hero instinct is what makes your guy feel like a real man. He needs to prove to himself that he is capable of providing for you and that he is strong enough for you to rely on him, no matter what.
The ability of a woman to be caring, loving, selfless, and simply always there is one of the most exquisite things about her.
We, as women, are natural caretakers. We want to help.
You’re no different. You want to fix things and make your man feel needed.
You want to be the voice of reason and a shoulder to cry on for the men in your lives.
You are drawn to those in need because of your intuitive abilities to help when you’re needed most.
You are almost able to read your man’s mind or at least know what’s bugging him.
But what you fail to see is that by being so selfless and giving with your love and effort, you deny your men their primal urges and the needs that they were all born with: their hero instincts.
You can’t keep a man by giving him everything he thinks he wants. The ultimate way to make him see you’re THE ONE is to learn everything about His Secret Obsession and unlock his hero instinct – the driving force behind all his actions.
You see, when you’re always on top of things and never allow your man to prove to you how worthy and capable he is, you are, in a way, taking away a man’s hero instinct. I understand this may sound a bit perplexing, but think about it.
Use THIS MAGICAL TOOL to unlock his hero instinct and keep him forever.
Why Is The Hero Instinct So Important To Men?
Men are taught their whole life to idolize superheroes. Just look at all the Marvel fascination in the past God-knows-how-many years. They dress up as superheroes. When it comes to your man, it’s probably his secret obsession as well.
They worship them, and all they can talk about is which superpower is the best one to have. And when you translate this to their real lives, what they really want is to be a hero for you.
They can’t exactly have actual superpowers and spur into action when a villain suddenly decides to destroy their city, but they sure can be the best damn hero to their girl!
So when you leave them with nothing to help you with, and with no way to be of service to you, they are left feeling a bit pointless and unessential. And all men want is to be needed and wanted.
Their everyday circumstances mostly leave them not feeling particularly fulfilled, so they strive to find a girl that is going to let them be her own personal hero every now and then.
In a way, this is a really sweet notion, and you can’t really blame your guy for feeling this way, can you?
Being Your Own Hero Vs. Triggering A Hero Instinct In Men
Now, I know you’re probably more than capable of being your own hero. You are strong and badass.
But how many times have you heard that men are scared of independent women? Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you should lose your strength just for your guy to feel better.
Nevertheless, you can’t have a healthy relationship if he gets the impression that you don’t need him for anything. That’s exactly the key of this concept: your guy’s necessity to be needed. To be exact, I’m talking about his desire to become indispensable.
Every relationship coach will tell you the same: a man who is needed by his woman equals a happy man. Yes, it’s as simple as that.
You’ve never felt that need for a man to complete you, and that is admirable. Good on you.
You are kind. You have plenty to offer, and the last thing you would expect in your life is for a hero to come and sweep you off your feet.
And that’s the whole point. You don’t need one, but you sure as hell can let your man be that for you every now and again.
You’re good on your own. But your man needs to have a purpose in your life as well, don’t you agree?
He needs to know that you do need him to some extent, otherwise, what’s the point? He needs to feel like he’s the one you’ll call when you’re in need, without thinking twice.
When you relinquish some control, you will understand how amazing it is to have your own hero who will be there whenever you need him.
He knows you can do it on your own. All he needs is to show you that you don’t have to do everything by yourself and spread yourself so thin.
He’s got you!
How Do You Trigger The Hero Instinct On A Man?
In short, if you want to trigger your man’s hero instinct, from time to time, you have to act like a damsel in distress. You know the drill: you’re the Princess in danger and he is the Prince Charming who comes to your rescue.
Yes, it’s the tale as old as time. But trust me: it never goes out of style.
Ask him for help with everyday random things
If you want to learn how to trigger the hero instinct in your man, start with small things. You don’t want him to see right through your intentions.
The best way to begin is to ask him for help with everyday, random little things.
I’m sure you can take care of your basic needs, and you don’t need a man to do stuff for you.
But the next time your computer starts acting up, think about giving him a call and asking if maybe he’s got an idea what’s up with it. Before you google the solution or call tech support, give your man an opportunity to be your own personal Superman and to resolve your problem.
Ask him for advice because, who knows, maybe he’s had similar issues recently.
Even if he’s not a computer whiz, he may remember his own experience with the same issue.
If your car won’t start, go to him for help. That’s going to make him feel needed and manly (and what guy doesn’t like to feel manly, let’s be honest…)
If you can’t open a jar of pickles, there’s your excuse to give your man a chance of being a real hero. If he’s taller than you, ask him for help if you can’t reach something on the top shelf.
These are all really small gestures and simple ways to make him feel better but they all do the trick. Besides, he’ll be none the wiser as to why you’re asking him to help you with it.
And then offer a big smile of appreciation for his kind assistance. And remember, it’s always those little things that go a long way! In fact, every relationship expert will tell you the same: this the foundation for a long-term relationship.
Just enjoy and appreciate his company
According to most relationship advice, men are quite simple creatures. Making a man fall in love with you and keeping him by your side is actually a piece of cake.
For starters, it will be enough to show your man that you’re happy by his side. I’m not talking about being happy on your anniversary or when you get a unique Valentine’s day card.
I’m talking about enjoying and appreciating his company on regular days. About being content just for having a chance of doing some random things with him, such as taking a walk in the park, cuddling or watching TV.
Guys love girls who can just chill with them at their place, without needing to always talk about serious stuff or do all kinds of things all the time. Just enjoy his company and the things he likes to do!
So what if his place isn’t the neatest place you’ve ever been to? He’s a guy!
As long as it’s not a complete pigsty, let him enjoy his messy apartment. Men don’t have the need to clean 24/7 as most girls do, and that’s totally fine.
Let him enjoy his fantasy football team without nagging all the time. If he wants to watch the Knicks, watch the game with him!
Don’t you think he’d be happy that his girlfriend is interested in things he loves?
Don’t force him to always do stuff you want to do. Sometimes, it’s necessary to let your man just be a man, and dedicate time to things he’s passionate about.
Most importantly: don’t grumble all the time. It’s one thing to call him out on his actions when you’re really bothered by something. But it’s completely different to spend all of your time criticizing him and every little thing he does.
It’s not just about the things you say- your body language matters as well. You’ll go nowhere if you keep on giving him a nasty look and put a grumpy face on.
Besides, whatever you do, don’t try controlling your guy’s every move or word.
He doesn’t have a problem with you getting your hair done or going for mani-pedis all the time, so why shouldn’t he enjoy his sports and have a few beers?
Grab one yourself, get cozy on the couch, and do stuff he likes to do. He’s going to feel appreciated and like a total man!
Challenge him and let him earn your respect
So indulge your man, and let him be your hero by making him earn your respect. Don’t make things too easy for him because if you do, he’ll realize that you’re manipulating him. Just like that, his hero instinct will be lost.
So, in order to avoid this, don’t just give him your love and respect on a silver platter. Make him earn it. That way, he will enjoy it more profoundly.
Trust me: men are like that: if they get everything they want in a blink of an eye, they lose interest pretty soon.
What your man craves is your love and your time.
But giving him a challenge that proves he’s the man for you is going to make it all feel that much more satisfying for him… and perhaps even for you.
Sit back, relax, and make him work for it- that’s how you’ll build a successful and long-lasting relationship. Provide him with opportunities to prove he’s the hero you want in your life.
Let him keep on fighting for you
The problem in most relationships is that a guy fights for you in the beginning. But the moment you become his girlfriend and the moment you open up to him- he’s done.
He’s won you over and he thinks his job is over. The worst part is that most women let their men get away with that, instead of showing them that they need to keep on fighting.
If you want to avoid this from happening to your relationship, make your man earn your admiration, and enjoy watching him go to all those lengths just for you.
It doesn’t matter how long you two have been together, let him keep on winning you over, and it’s guaranteed you will make him feel emotionally fulfilled.
And when a woman knows how to satisfy the emotional need in her man, there is truly nothing more to ask for.
That is the ultimate level of commitment. This will fulfill his heart (as well as yours), and there won’t be a thing he wouldn’t do for you.
Gratitude is the way to his heart
You won’t awaken a hero instinct in men if you just give them the opportunity to prove their masculinity. You also have to show them that you notice all the effort they’re putting into protecting you.
Your boyfriend has to know that you appreciate everything he’s doing for you and for your relationship. He has to be aware that you see him as a real hero and most importantly, that you’re thankful for the way he acts.
Don’t take anything he does for granted. Even if he just changes a flat tire, show your gratitude.
I’m not saying that you should prepare him a candlelight dinner just because he changed the lightbulb or something like that. A simple thank you and a huge smile that shows you really mean it will be more than enough.
Let’s not forget about a kiss or a hug a little tighter than usual. All men are fans of physical affection and your guy is no exception.
Also, a compliment will do the trick as well. For example, when he is fixing something around the house, you can tell him that you can’t take your eyes off him or that he’s the best-looking handyman you’ve ever seen- things like that will melt his heart.
Trust me- on many occasions, men are like little kids. Whether they admit it or not, they blossom whenever they get a round of applause.
But please be careful because too much gratitude can create a counterproductive effect. You don’t want him to get the impression that he’s moved mountains for your sake just because he brought your grocery bags home.
This way, you’re getting at risk of lowering your standards. If you’re so thankful for those little things, why would he bother doing something bigger?
Besides, always have in mind that he is not stupid. You won’t achieve anything if you go over the top and he realizes that you’re doing all of this just to make him feel better.
Either way, balance is the key. Find a way to make him realize that you’re thankful but be a little sneaky about it at the same time.
Praise him in front of others
I know what you’re about to say. A mature man doesn’t give a damn about what others think of him. Yes, that’s how things should roll.
But whether we like it or not, all of us enjoy being praised- especially when it’s by the person we deeply care about.
Therefore, if you want to captivate your man’s heart, the best way to do it is through celebrating his accomplishments in front of others. Make sure you talk about his good qualities when you’re in the company of family and friends.
Remember that his male friends are the most important link here. When you as his girlfriend talk about how capable your man is, you’re giving him the position of the leader of the pack.
You don’t have to see it right away but trust me when I tell you that they’ll admire him more if you compliment him. He’ll earn their respect and they’ll start seeing him as an Alpha male.
The worst thing you can do to every guy is to humiliate him in any way in front of others. Even if you disagree with your man, tell him in private.
Avoid any type of arguments when you two are not alone. Don’t diminish his worth and don’t do your best to prove him wrong.
Don’t get me wrong: this is not me telling you to nod your head on everything he has to say. I’m just asking you not to take someone else’s side if he’s in the middle of an argument, not to contradict his every word and not to pick unnecessary fights when you’re in company.
Even if he’s not the best man in the world and even if your love life isn’t all that flawless, don’t let others see it. Instead, have the world think that he is your own personal Superman.
After all, you chose him to be your life partner. Therefore, by praising him and your relationship, you’re also praising yourself.
Show your endless support
The last but definitely not the least important thing is this: A man has to be his own hero before he becomes yours. Therefore, if you’re wondering how to trigger a man’s hero instinct, have in mind that his self-esteem is the first thing you have to work on here.
It won’t be enough for him to feel like the best boyfriend in the world only. This guy has to be aware of all of his good qualities and he has to feel like the best man in the world.
A way to a man’s heart and mind is by pushing him forward. Of course, you’re allowed to have an opinion of your own and you should say it if you think he’s making a mistake.
Nevertheless, instead of focusing on criticism, do your best to give him your endless support. Show this man that you got his back and that you’re his number one fan.
If you believe in him, he’ll start believing in himself too. And when you get that, you’ll have yourself a mature man for the rest of your life.
What is The Hero Instinct 12 words?
A relationship coach James Bauer, who coined the term hero instinct, came up with a 12 word text that triggers hero instinct in men.
In his book His Secret Obsession, James talks about his friend Rachel and her boyfriend Mike. He presents them as the best example of how important hero instinct is for a healthy relationship.
Basically, James taught Rachel how to awake a man’s hero instinct and this is how he did it.
When Rachel asked for James’ help regarding her relationship problems with Mike, James resolved everything in a blink of an eye. He advised Rached to send Mike a 12-word text that will turn the tables in her favor.
And that’s exactly what happened- that single text managed to activate Mike’s hero instinct and changed their relationship for good.
What does that mean for you? Well, it is proof that it’s possible to awaken every guy’s inner hero- if you just use the right words.
Here is the list of the phrases that will not only do that but also encourage, reassure and teach your man how to treat you better in the future.
1. You looked great today while changing my flat tire. I got the urge to jump on you right there, in the middle of the street.
2. You’re my Prince Charming and my own personal hero.
3. What else could a girl ever want next to a man like you?
4. Could you please help me with this lightbulb? I’ve been struggling to change it.
5. Thanks, my love. I would have never made it without you.
6. Never mind you didn’t succeed. It matters that you tried and I’m sure that next time, you’ll rock it!
7. You’re irreplaceable! I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.
8. Hey, big man! I’m your biggest fan.
9. I would be totally lost without you.
10. You’re the toughest guy I’ve ever known.
11. Hey, I could really use your advice on this one.
12. You know I value your opinion over everyone’s.
What Is A Man’s Infatuation Instinct?
Once you manage to wake up a man’s infatuation instinct, this guy has eyes for you only. It becomes impossible for him to develop romantic feelings for any other woman in the world.
All of a sudden, he sees that you’re the only one for him. Every doubt he might have had disappears and he’s ready to do whatever it takes just to make you his.
Forget about the fear of commitment most men deal with. Forget about him not being sure if you’re the one.
When this guy’s infatuation instinct triggers, you can be certain that you’re the only woman he could ever love. It means that you’ve succeeded- he’s all yours and he’s not going anywhere.
What To Say To A Man To Make Him Want You?
The best possible way to get your man’s attention is through compliments on his strength, intelligence and let’s not forget humour. Don’t be a kiss-up (because he’ll read right through you and he’ll lose interest in no time) but make sure he knows how much he fascinates you.
According to James Bauer (a dating coach, relationship psychologist and author of a bestselling dating book His Secret Obsession), a man who is in a relationship where his hero instinct isn’t triggered is less likely to stay in that relationship.
So if you know how to trigger a man’s hero instinct with the help of useful hero instinct phrases (you can find out if they work for you in His Secret Obsession review) you’ll figure out exactly what your man wants and needs from you. This will result in many perks for both him and you!
- You can use text messages to let him know of a thousand and one ways he inspires you and makes your life richer on a daily basis.
- You will rise to unbelievable levels of influence once you learn to speak his language of desire. Be vocal about it and tell him what he needs to hear.
- Your relationship will thrive once your man’s needs to protect and love you are fulfilled because it will make you both feel more comfortable and at ease with each other.
- Your emotional needs will be met and both partners will feel satisfied with their role in the relationship.
- As independent and strong as you are, it is always comforting knowing your man’s got your back, and then some.
To Wrap Up
Now that you’ve learned how to trigger the hero instinct in men, all the power is in your hands. Believe me when I tell you that this is the secret not many women know of, so use it wisely.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that you must stop being a strong, independent woman just because you’re letting your man be your hero.
See this as the fulfilment of your man’s emotional needs- nothing else. It might sound a little manipulative but trust me- it’s for his own good.
Apply these methods, sit back, relax and watch your relationship flourish!
Not only that: this tutorial can also come in handy when it comes to analyzing your breakups and previous relationships.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that you want your ex-boyfriend back. Still, at the end of the day, this can certainly help you not to repeat some old mistakes in your new relationships.