Skip to Content

13 Stages Of Divorcing A Narcissist And Getting Through Them

13 Stages Of Divorcing A Narcissist And Getting Through Them

You know your partner has a narcissistic personality disorder, and after all the gaslighting, lack of empathy, and other problems you’ve faced, it’s time for a divorce. It’s good you are thinking of your mental health.

Remember, you might need a divorce attorney and someone to talk to when it comes to legal advice in the divorce process. Don’t forget to talk about child custody and child support with your divorce lawyer.

When you know about the stages of divorcing a narcissist, the process becomes easier, and you know what to look out for. So, stay tuned to learn more about divorcing a narcissist and what the process looks like.

Stages Of Divorcing A Narcissist: 13 Phases You Go Through

Here are the stages of divorcing a narcissist:

1. Preparation

a woman is playing with a child

You know what the narcissistic relationship pattern looks like, and you should be able to prepare for it together with your kids. Make sure you have a safe space to go before even talking about a divorce settlement.

Preparation when divorcing someone with narcissistic tendencies is immensely important. It is essential to take care of yourself and your children before going through this process.

Narcissists are known for their self-centered behavior. They often put themselves before others and prioritize their own needs over those of the people around them.

2. Confrontation

Confrontation is a stage you’ll face when divorcing a narcissist, and it is common for a narcissist to go through this phase. Once you tell them you want a divorce, they are sure to confront you and be upset about the matter.

They will try to convince you that you are wrong, that they are not being heard, and that their feelings should be taken into account. To be able to confront your narcissist, you need to know what his or her triggers are.

This will help you avoid them and make it easier for you to talk to them in a non-confrontational manner. Remind them that they can still be taken through the court system, which could deflate their divorce case.

3. Anger

Finally, you are the empath that left the narcissist for their narcissistic behavior. Anger has a lot of red flags, and there is always a possibility that the narcissist will try to hurt you or take advantage of others, especially your kids.

Anger is a normal and natural response to the pain of divorce. It is hard not to feel angry when going through a divorce yourself, especially when someone’s trying to take your children away.

Remember, put the well-being of you and your kids first. Make sure you go through a free consultation with a family law attorney who knows what they are doing and how to deal with narcissistic behavior.

4. Denial

a woman argues with a man

Denial is one of the stages of divorcing a narcissist. This is the time when they still try to convince you that you should forgive them for their past mistakes. They will try to be charming, sweet, and loving during this period.

Narcissists are often very good at denial because they have an inflated sense of self-worth and think that no one could possibly leave them.

They might be so caught up in this belief that they go through with the divorce process and then realize it is too late to save their relationship. This stage can last for weeks or months, but it typically ends when the narcissist realizes that the relationship is not going to work out.

5. Bargaining

Narcissists often use bargaining to prolong the divorce process. If you are in the bargaining stage with your narcissist, then you should know how to deal with them.

They will make a deal with their spouse to avoid and delay the inevitable. Don’t give in to their needs and wants. This stage is when they try to prolong the divorce process by making deals or even devaluing, providing excessive admiration or hatred towards their ex-spouse.

Narcissists are skilled at this and will use every trick in the book, like delaying and postponing court proceedings, not paying child support, etc.

6. Ignoring

How long will this narcissist ignore me? It’s up to their NPD. It is essential to understand that narcissists will not change their behavior until they are faced with an ultimatum.

When they ignore you, it shows that they are afraid of you or your tactics. You should not take the bait and give the narcissist what they want, which will make them feel more powerful than they already do.

They will continue to try and harass, manipulate, and control you until they know there is no way out for them. Narcissists tend to be very manipulative and only care about themselves.

7. Sadness

It’s true, narcissists can be sad about losing you. In fact, they actually miss you and the rush you gave them. This sadness can be caused by many things, such as the realization that your partner doesn’t love you anymore or that you are no longer in love with them.

This stage can be tough to get through because it’s not easy to overcome feelings of loneliness and rejection. Still, all of this can be a hoax to lure you back in, so don’t be their shoulder to cry on.

Divorcing a narcissist is an incredibly difficult and draining process. It’s not uncommon for the divorcee to feel sad, angry, and frustrated.

8. Revenge

pensive woman sits by the window

Dealing with sadness can be difficult at first because it often feels like you’re drowning in your own emotions. But you’ll start to see the light at the end of the tunnel once you realize that sadness is just one stage in what will be a long and challenging process.

Still, for your ex, it’s different. All they want is to take their revenge. They will do so by trying to show that you’re the crazy one, abusing your phone number, or constantly trying to prove themselves.

Revenge is not always the best option, though. It can be seen as a coping mechanism for some, and it will not have good long-term effects on the person getting revenge. Instead of retaliating with even more revenge, you should ignore them and let them fear you.

9. The blame game

This is a common behavior that narcissists use to make their partners feel guilty and bring up the past to manipulate them. They will try to get you to admit that you were wrong or made mistakes. Also, they will try and make you feel bad about yourself, your decisions, and your body.

A narcissist can use the blame game to make their partner feel guilty for not being perfect enough or for things they have done wrong. The blame game can also be used as an attempt to get back at their partner to regain control of the relationship.

Do not give in to this! It’s no surprise that narcissists would use blame games to make their partners feel bad. It’s a way for them to keep them on the hook so they can continue to control and manipulate them.

10. Name-calling

Narcissists will often use name-calling as a way to make themselves feel better by seeming superior. This is also a tactic to get the narcissist’s partner to react and provide them with validation.

Name-calling is the most common form of abuse during a divorce and can cause anxiety, stress, and depression. It can be an effective way for the narcissist’s partner to identify when the behaviors have become too much, and they need to take action.

11. False accusations

Remember, if your narcissist goes quiet, they think it means you won. This is why they bombard you with accusations. This is one of the final stages in the divorce process where the narcissist has lost all hope that their spouse will change, and they are left with no other options.

A narcissist ofen makes false accusations to try to get back at their spouse for something or as an attempt to gain sympathy from others.

They may also be made by mistake or out of fear that their spouse will harm them if they don’t make any false accusations. They are not always easy to spot because they can be subtle and manipulative.

12. Manipulation

a man is sitting with a woman at the table and they are talking

Narcissists often try to control their exes by using tactics like gaslighting, mind games, and emotional abuse. They may also use these tactics to get back at their exes for leaving them.

Manipulation is a stage in divorcing a narcissist. They will use many tactics to get what they want, like lying, cheating, and emotional abuse. It’s not always easy to detect when you’re being manipulated by your narcissistic ex-partner because they can be very skilled at it.

13. Acceptance

You know how this relationship changed you and that you’re not the same person anymore. Your narcissist knows you won’t give in if you’ve gone through all these stages of divorcing a narcissist. They finally give up.

They have been controlling your life, and now you are free to live it how you want. It’s hard to let go of what they have given you and accept that it’s over for good.

Acceptance is when you finally realize that this person isn’t going to change and that they are never going to be there for you again.

It’s hard for the narcissist to accept that their partner does not love them unconditionally and will not be there for them to torment. This is why acceptance is so important in divorcing a narcissist. Until they reach it, you won’t be able to relax.

See also: When The Narcissist Sees You With Someone Else, Keep Walking

When To Divorce A Narcissist: Must-Knows

a man and a woman walk away from each other

A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. They can be difficult to live with because they don’t listen to others’ needs or feelings.

When should you consider divorce? If your partner is a narcissist, there are several signs that you should take heed of.

There are many factors that need to be taken into account when deciding whether to divorce a narcissist. The most important factor is the safety of you and your children.

They often have trouble dealing with criticism and will react poorly if they feel like they are being attacked. They are also very sensitive and may lash out at you emotionally when they feel like you’re not giving them enough attention or adoration.

Divorce is never an easy decision. It is a difficult time that can be even more complicated when you have children with your narcissist spouse.

If they have anger issues, are sensitive, and always feel attacked, it’s time to get out because it can become potentially dangerous for you and the kids.

Narcissists are not always bad people, and they may not always abuse their partners emotionally, physically, or sexually. They may simply be selfish and self-centered individuals who don’t care about others.

It’s important to know the difference so you can make an informed decision about whether or not you want to stay with them for the sake of your children.

Even when divorcing a covert narcissist, make sure they are ready to do co-parenting with you and that he is not gaslighting you or your kids.

When divorcing a narcissist, remember these tips

Narcissists are often difficult to divorce because they will do everything in their power to make the process as difficult as possible. They may threaten to take your children, harass you, and even try to manipulate you into staying with them.

If you are going through a divorce with a narcissist, these tips can help keep you safe:

• Document everything: Narcissists will use any excuse they can find to harass or manipulate you during the divorce process. Documenting everything will help protect you against this behavior and prevent it from becoming an issue for your case.

• Have a support system: It’s important to have someone on your side during this difficult time who is willing to be there for you when needed. This person could be a family member, co-worker, or someone else.

• Don’t trust them: It is important to remember that, in many cases, the narcissist has not changed and may still be abusive or neglectful of their children.

• Keep your guard up: Narcissists are manipulative people who are used to getting what they want. When they start to lose their power, they will often become more aggressive and abusive towards their ex-spouses or ex-partners.

See also: Can A Narcissist Be Faithful? Everything You Need To Know

How To Get Through A Divorce With A Narcissist

Divorce is never easy, and sometimes, it can be even more difficult when the narcissist involved is your ex. However, the following tips will help you get through this difficult time:

• Don’t feel guilty about anything.

• Don’t try to change the person you’re divorcing.

• Be positive and focus on yourself.

• Don’t change your mind because you might be a victim of their love bombing or physical or emotional abuse.

Divorce is a difficult time for everyone involved, but it can be especially challenging when you have to deal with a narcissist. Narcissists are not always easy to deal with, but there is hope. In this article, we will discuss how to get through a divorce with a narcissist.

The first step in divorcing a narcissist is understanding just what it means to be one. It’s important to understand the personality type to know what you are getting into before you sign on the dotted line.

Don’t fall for their manipulation tactics or any other kind of narcissistic abuse where they lower your self-esteem and look for your validation while maximizing their sense of entitlement for your attention. This is just your narcissist ex, remember.

What Does A Narcissist Do During A Divorce?

a man argues with a woman

Narcissists often do not acknowledge their spouse’s pain or make an effort to help them cope with it. They may also blame them for the failed marriage and make them feel like they are at fault for everything that has happened since the divorce began.

Narcissists are notorious for their selfishness and self-centeredness. They tend to be emotionally detached from others, especially during times of crisis. When they are going through a divorce, their behavior can be even more extreme due to the emotions they are feeling.

Narcissists have a sense of entitlement; they look at the world as a competition, they are unable to empathize with others, and they are manipulative.

They will refuse to discuss financial arrangements for the children or any other child-related issues. Also, they will make outrageous demands in an attempt to show how tough and strong they are during this difficult time.

They will try to control their spouse’s access and contact with their children by using guilt or manipulation to control them. And that’s not the worst part: if your high-conflict divorce is full of court orders and divorce proceedings, they might try to guilt trip you into staying with them.

Why Do Narcissists Delay Divorce?

Narcissists delay divorce because they don’t want to lose their status as a “good” person. They think that they deserve the benefit of the doubt and that they should be given more time to change their behavior.

Narcissism is a personality disorder, which means it’s not something you can just stop through sheer willpower. There are many reasons narcissists delay their divorces.

They want to avoid having to admit that they were wrong, which means admitting their mistakes and taking responsibility for them. In any case, you will most probably have to endure a lot of false accusations and narcissistic behavior patterns.

Narcissists are often reluctant to go through with a divorce because they believe that they will be stigmatized if they do. They also believe that a divorce will affect them negatively in the future and might even cause them to lose some of their friends or social circle.

To prevent these negative consequences, narcissists often delay the process of filing for divorce until it is too late for them to save their marriage.

Run Before It’s Too Late

Narcissists are people who have a grandiose sense of self-importance and a need for admiration. They are often described as having an inflated sense of importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.

The stages of divorcing a narcissist can be difficult to navigate because they are so manipulative and controlling. They will try to make you feel guilty about leaving them, or they will try to make you feel like you’re the one who is wrong for leaving them. Don’t lose faith!