A relationship between a narcissist and a super-empath is one of the most devastating and heartbreaking combinations one can imagine – for the empath, of course. However, what most people don’t know is that, eventually, every empath gets the strength to walk away.
So, what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? Let’s look at things from both of their perspectives.
What Happens When An Empath Leaves A Narcissist: The Narc’s Point Of View
These are the stages a narcissist goes through when an empath walks away from them:
1. Guilt trips and the blame game
Let’s get one thing straight: someone who has narcissistic personality disorder will never admit that they’re wrong. They’ll never face the truth and accept that they’re wrong, let alone say it out loud. After all, that is what NPD is all about – not taking the blame for anything.
However, what they will do is try to put the blame on the empath who left them. All of a sudden, they are not responsible for anything that went wrong in their relationship.
According to this blame game, their empathic partner left them out of the blue. They did nothing wrong, but this didn’t prevent the empath from packing their bags and leaving them in the past, like garbage.
Of course, this is nothing but an attempt at manipulation. They assume that their empath will come back to them if they guilt trip them successfully.
Unlike them, their partner has a conscience. Sadly, a narc is aware of this, and they’re ready to use it against them.
2. Playing the victim
One thing is for sure: an empath is always a narcissistic victim. They’re the ones who were abused, heartbroken, and mistreated all along.
Nevertheless, that is not how someone with a narcissistic personality sees the entire situation. Or, to be exact, they know the truth as well but deliberately try to manipulate it in a way that suits them best.
So what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? Well, one of the first things a narc does is reverse the roles.
They start accusing their partner of doing all the things they are actually guilty of. Isn’t that convenient?
They turn the tables on them, wake up one day and decide to take on the role of the victim. They keep telling themselves that the empath was the abuser.
But as if that wasn’t enough, they continue with the same narrative and tell the same story to their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend as well. It’s clear that they’re doing their best to brainwash them into believing their deceptions.
3. Eroding an empath’s reputation
Let’s keep one thing in mind: every narcissistic person craves acceptance. They must be admired by their surroundings, and they care deeply about their public image.
That is why, to them, there is nothing worse than having their reputation destroyed. That is something they won’t allow to happen under any circumstances.
But what they will do is everything in their power to erode their former partner’s reputation. They’re not only ready to fabricate the truth – a narcissist will lie and deceive everyone surrounding them.
They’ll start with their mutual friends and even continue to influence the empath’s best friends and family. They’ll badmouth them and lie about their previous relationship, mostly about why their ex left them.
The narc’s ultimate goal is to get everyone on their side. This makes them feel better, and it also puts an empath in a bad position, making it easier for them to go back to their abuser.
4. Emotional blackmail
The next step includes emotional blackmail. If you have ever been involved with someone who has NPD, you know that they’re ready to say (and even do) literally anything to get their way.
So, them claiming that they will remain alone and miserable is not strange. They try to convince their ex that they are responsible for them and their previous relationship.
The trick is that a narcissistic person has spent a lot of time and invested even more energy into studying their partner. They know them very well and are familiar with all of their triggers and weak spots. That is exactly what they use against them.
When a narc sees the “usual” type of blackmail doesn’t give them the expected results, they’re even ready to go as far as threatening to harm or kill themselves if the empath doesn’t come back to them.
5. False remorse
What happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? Well, if nothing else works out, they will repent for everything they did.
They will say they miss them, admit their mistakes, understand why they haven’t been treating their empath right, promise to act better in the future, and even offer a detailed plan on how they will change.
Does it sound too good to be true? Well, that’s because it is!
Don’t get me wrong – this will happen, word for word, exactly how I’ve explained. But will they be telling the truth? Absolutely not!
It’s important to remember one thing: narcissists don’t change! At least not without proper medical help and treatment.
The conclusion is that all of this remorse will be false. It will all be an act and one of their techniques to get their victim back.
The sad part is that a lot of empaths will believe this to be true. After all, they’re finally getting everything they wanted to hear all along.
Of course, the fact that a narcissist is a skilled liar and manipulator doesn’t help the victim. They make everything look so real that even the best would fall for it.
6. Destroyed ego
Insecurity is one of the most dominant narcissistic traits. Of course, this is the last thing they want anyone to see, but they struggle with extremely low self-esteem.
A narcissist needs constant reassurance from their surroundings, especially from their partner.
They need validation that they’re good enough, and the only way for their twisted mind to get it is through narcissistic abuse. Someone who doesn’t suffer from NPD can’t process this.
But as long as these toxic people continue to impact their victims, their sense of self-importance is at a satisfactory level. Nevertheless, the moment their victim stops giving them unconditional love, a narcissist’s ego breaks into pieces. This is actually the only effective way to emotionally hurt a narcissist.
This is exactly what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist. They go back to their insecurities, they start to question their worth, and their entire world collapses.
Of course, this is not something even a super-empath should feel sorry for. A narcissist’s ego won’t get back on track with self-love or self-awareness; they’ll only start feeling better when they see they’ve managed to break someone’s heart.
7. Rebound relationship
Just because a narcissist’s self-esteem is destroyed doesn’t mean that they’ll retreat. They won’t give up on hurting their super-empath or start working on themselves.
On the contrary, this is when a narc becomes even more desperate. They’ll be ready to do whatever it takes to get their sense of self-worth back.
Keeping in mind that nothing else worked, a narcissist tries something new: they do their best to make their ex jealous.
At first, they might send hints that they’ve found someone new. It doesn’t matter if the empath has gone no contact – a narc will talk about this imaginary relationship to their mutual friends or post photos all over social media, all in hopes of getting a reaction from their empath.
If that doesn’t work, they’ll even get into some kind of rebound relationship.
Do you see the pattern of behavior here? They don’t care if they drag this new person into the mess between you two. They don’t give a damn if they break their heart in the process.
Actually, they don’t see them as someone with emotions at all. To a narcissist, they’re just a tool – a tool to make you jealous and eventually get you back.
The next stage is called negotiating. Nothing worked out, so a narcissist will try and negotiate their way back into an empath’s life.
All of a sudden, they’re ready to accept any condition their victim puts in front of them. They ask them what exactly they want from them and are ready to do even more than necessary just to reach an agreement.
An empath might see this as a great chance to set boundaries and transform their toxic relationship into a healthy one. But sadly, that will never happen because this is just a narc’s manipulation technique to get what they want.
Don’t forget that these people have a sense of entitlement. They assume that they should and must get whatever their heart desires.
After failed negotiations, there always come threats. A narc threatens to destroy the empath’s life, and the only way for them to allegedly save themselves from these threats is to get back into this narcissistic relationship.
They threaten to expose all of their victim’s dirty secrets (of course, they would invent most of them) to destroy their reputation (as if they hadn’t already tried doing that), continue the emotional abuse (to ruin their mental health even more) and even to physically harm them.
The worst-case scenario is when an empath co-parents with a narcissist. Keep in mind that a narcissist chooses every means to crush their victim’s well-being.
So, if the two have children together, they’ll threaten to take away their custody or turn their children against them. Sadly, this is where most super-empaths give up and go back to their abusers.
After all, they’re sensitive people, and it’s natural for them to get scared of something like this, especially if we’re talking about younger children who are easier to manipulate.
10. Final fall
But luckily, in some situations, an empath shows they’re a stronger human being than anyone expected. They’re perfectly aware of everything the narc is doing (after all, reading people’s minds is their superpower), and they don’t fall into their sneaky trap.
This is when a narc’s entire life falls apart. Most of them continue with gaslighting, stalking, begging, threatening, negotiating, and all of these things in circles, but deep down, they know that they’re defeated.
They’re experiencing their final fall: there is no going back after this break-up. However, even when that happens, they’re not interested in the emotions of others.
They don’t have a moment of clarity. It’s not like they realize what they lost or come to terms with all the devastating things they’ve done to their victims.
In their minds, they’re the heartbroken ones. Nevertheless, the truth is that the only thing broken about them is their fragile ego.
They didn’t succeed in getting what they wanted, and facing that is one of the most difficult things they’ve had to do in their whole life.
11. Moving on to the next victim
What does a narcissist feel after this phase is over? Do they decide to change their ways and toxic behavior patterns? Do they start taking the feelings of others into consideration? Definitely not.
In fact, they don’t wait long – they immediately go in search of a new victim. The best way to picture them is as wild animals, always hunting for new prey. They won’t literally eat their new victim, but they will destroy their well-being, that’s for sure.
A narcissist has to get their narcissistic supply and satisfy their own needs at all costs. Even though this is terrible for this new person involved, it is actually the best news an empath could get – they’re finally off the hook.
The crazy ex
However, even now, a narc won’t miss the chance to badmouth their ex. In fact, they’ll use their previous experience as a way to trap new victims.
You’ll hear them talking about a crazy ex who destroyed them. According to this narrative, the roles are completely turned upside down.
The narc’s ex was the one who didn’t meet their emotional needs, they were abusive to them, and they were the bad ones. Basically, they will accuse their ex of everything they did!
What Happens When An Empath Leaves A Narcissist: The Empath’s Point Of View
An empath needs some time to really move on with their lives after breaking up with a narcissist. These are the stages they go through before reaching that point:
Experts would say that this wasn’t love and that they were codependent. Either way, the truth is that this person has become fond of them, even though they were never the right choice. After all, we’re talking about a human being they spent every day with for the last couple of years.
So, it’s quite normal they question their decision.
Have I done the right thing? Are they really suffering from NPD? Could I have changed them if I tried a bit harder?
Did our relationship deserve another chance? Was it a narcissistic relationship in the first place? Did I overreact?
These are the thoughts every super-empath struggles with when they decide it’s time to cut off a loved one. Let’s be clear about one thing: this is the last thing they wanted to do, but they’ve reached breaking point, and there was no other option.
2. Fear of judgment
Remember how the covert narcissist uses every opportunity they get to destroy the empath’s reputation? Well, even though the super empath’s brain is very aware that the other person is lying and doing all of this on purpose, deep down, they’re still afraid of judgment.
Once again, let’s make things clear: this is an extremely sensitive person. They can be easily hurt if someone gives them an evil eye, let alone something more.
At the end of the day, most of them are people pleasers without even being aware of it. So it’s natural that they’ll be scared of what others might think.
This is especially true if we’re talking about a narcissistic mother, father, or sibling and about a narcissistic partner they have kids with. Will their loved ones accuse them of breaking up a family?
The root of these fears is actually self-judgment. They’re still doubting their choice and are terrified they made the wrong one, despite all the evidence in front of them.
Basically, they judge themselves for not trying harder and for not giving their toxic relationship another chance, even though they know it wouldn’t work this time either.
What happens when an empath leaves a narcissist? The truth is that an empath needs more time to heal than other people. Let’s not forget that they’re special human beings.
That is why their remorse stage lasts a bit longer. They grieve the loss of this person and the destruction of their relationship.
How can they grieve losing their abuser, you must wonder? Well, the truth is that they are more sorry about all the ‘could have beens’ and ‘should have beens.’
They’re sorry for not being able to change them. Sorry for leaving them in the darkness and not being able to bring them to light.
They grieve all the years they’ve lost without getting anything in return. And when you look at it that way, that’s actually pretty logical.
4. Rethinking their decision
In the next stage, an empath reaches breaking point. What will happen? Will they go back to the narc and believe in their lies, or will they firmly stick to their decision?
This is when they rethink their decision. I’d be happy if I could say that the narcissist’s attempts don’t affect them at all, but that would be far from the truth.
On the contrary, some empaths fall for their deceptions and give it another go. Without a doubt, this is the worst possible option.
5. The final choice
Finally, they make a decision. Those who go back to their narcissists get trapped in an endless circle of emotional abuse. However, not all is lost for them either.
One of these days, they will come to their senses.
On the other hand, those who get over and move on with their lives face a long and exhausting healing process. There are good and bad days, but the most important thing is that a decision has been made, and there is no going back.
They know that recovery won’t be easy, but it will happen sooner or later! They’ve learned their lesson, and I can promise you one thing: they’ll never make the same mistake again!
Can An Empath Break A Narcissist?
Yes, a super-empath can break and drive a narcissist insane – or, to be exact, they have the ability to destroy their self-esteem and crush their ego. But for this to happen, an empath must shut down their feelings and let their reasoning guide them.
Even though this is quite difficult for someone with their sensitivity and emotions, once it happens, nothing can stop them.
Are Narcissists Afraid Of Empaths?
At first, narcissists see empaths as their most convenient victims. They need someone to give them validation and someone with a big enough heart to put up with them.
However, once they see their superpowers, narcissists become terrified of empaths. They’re the only ones who can kill them with kindness without ever developing narcissistic traits, and that’s what destroys a narc the most.
Why Does The Empath Fall For The Narcissist?
An empath secretly thinks they can save a narcissist. They have the ability to feel other people’s feelings and read their emotional needs.
So when they meet a narc, they see a vulnerable child inside of them. They see someone with low self-esteem and deep insecurities they assume they can heal.
Of course, this never happens, but that’s their primal urge and the reason they fall for narcissists – to save them from themselves.
What Happens When A Narcissist Meets A Dark Empath?
A relationship between a narc and a dark empath is an ongoing battle. There are no winners here, and it can only result in serious emotional and mental damage for both parties involved.
Narcissists and dark empaths are actually quite similar. They both use other people’s weak spots and struggle with similar issues.
At the end of the day, they end up draining and destroying each other.
To Wrap Up:
Keep this in mind: when you’re wondering what happens when an empath leaves a narcissist, you’re probably only referring to a narcissistic partner here. However, that doesn’t have to be the case.
It’s pretty much the same scenario with a narcissistic mother, father, best friend, or anyone else who has a narcissistic personality disorder.
However, the bottom line is that an empath can save themselves from a covert narc. It’s a long and exhausting process, but if they’re determined to do so, they will get out of this toxic relationship!