Religion should be your number one ally when handling people with a narcissistic personality disorder. I know you think you’ve tried everything, but I bet nobody told you how to spiritually deal with a narcissist.
Well, that is about to change. Here’s a detailed tutorial on using spirituality while handling narcissism.
How To Spiritually Deal With A Narcissist?
If you follow these steps, you won’t allow a narcissist to destroy your spirituality. On the contrary, you’ll outsmart them and for the first time ever, come out as a winner from this relationship.
If you’re a spiritual person, I’m pretty sure you know very well what self-awareness is. You know how important a sense of self is for your spiritual awakening.
However, what nobody talked to you about is the other type of awareness: the one regarding your surroundings. What does this mean?
Well, isn’t it simple? If you’re dealing with a narcissistic abuser, you must be aware of it. No lies and no self-deception.
Yes, this applies even to the situation with your narcissistic parent. I know this one is hard to grasp, but just because someone is your mother or father who should be giving you unconditional love, it doesn’t mean that they can’t suffer from a narcissistic personality disorder.
Instead of closing one eye to this fact, you have to face it and embrace it. Be as realistic as possible and understand that you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse.
2. Set boundaries
The next important thing when trying to figure out how to deal with a narcissist is setting boundaries. Yes, the best thing would be to cut all ties with your abuser, but you’re clearly not ready for that move.
For now, if you want to preserve your emotional and mental well-being, it would be great if you could make it clear that you won’t put up with some of their behavior.
There are things you won’t tolerate any longer. Behavior patterns that hurt your feelings and make you feel uncomfortable.
Find the strength deep inside of yourself and make sure your narcissist realizes that you’re putting some kind of limitation on it. Your patience has come to its end, and you demand respect!
Be as firm as possible when you start setting boundaries. Make sure your abuser understands that you’re not playing and that they must never cross these limitations if they have the intention of staying in your life.
3. Sticking to your core values
If you get involved with a spiritual narcissist, they’ll do their best to impose their values on you. They’ll try and convince you that God Himself sent them on your path. According to this narrative, they’re exactly what you need for your spiritual awakening.
Apparently, you should listen to them and blindly follow their lead. When you try to confront them, they use religion against you. They use Bible verses, the word of God, and other religious texts and twist them around to prove their point.
In this case scenario, it’s crucial for you to stick to your core values and spiritual practices. Don’t let them tell you what’s right or wrong.
Trust me, people suffering from spiritual narcissism use religion as a way to control you. They’re actually limiting your spiritual growth under the disguise of being your spiritual leader.
When you’re trying to figure out how to spiritually deal with a narcissist, there is one thing you mustn’t forget, and that is self-love.
What is common in everyone suffering from NPD? All people with narcissistic tendencies want you to lose your sense of self-worth. Once they manage to convince you that you have no value whatsoever, you become an easy target for gaslighting and other forms of manipulation.
They count on your insecurities and lack of self-esteem and use it as a way to destroy your mental health. Well, it’s your job not to let them do this.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to be selfish or anything like that. However, being aware of your qualities and putting your own needs in front of your abuser’s well-being is not selfish— it’s an act of self-love.
Besides, don’t forget that you can’t go through your spiritual awakening until you learn how to love yourself!
5. Being careful with your energy
Most narcissists are emotional vampires. Yes, that includes spiritual narcissists as well.
They deliberately suck the life out of you. They destroy your will to live and turn you into a negative, bitter person.
After all, that is their final goal: to make you become just like them. That is why you must be extra careful with your energy.
I know that dealing with a narc is draining and tiring. This is especially true if you’re an empath who picks up your abuser’s emotions.
Remember: your narcissist wants you to be nervous and pessimistic. They want you to overthink, and they want to destroy your mood.
That’s why you have to protect your positivity at all costs. If you don’t have enough strength to leave your narc for good, at least take a break from the relationship.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed, surround yourself with whatever and whoever makes you happy. Find the positivity inside yourself and in God— you’ll need it.
6. Focus on your spiritual growth
Instead of investing all of your energy in your narcissistic relationship, shift your focus to your spiritual growth. This is also a part of the self-love journey— a way to prioritize yourself and put your spiritual well-being over everything else.
For starters, break the toxic behavior patterns. You spend all of your days analyzing your relationship and overthinking every move your narc makes.
Instead of doing that, focus on being mindful. Engage in meditation, dig deep inside of yourself and find the person you once were.
Don’t seek your abuser’s validation— do the things that make you feel and be better. This is the chance for you to become the best possible version of yourself.
There are other things you can do to accelerate your spiritual growth. For example, connect with nature, find the artistic side of your personality, and most importantly— don’t forget to do good deeds.
Before you know it, you’ll start noticing spiritual progress.
7. Engage in praying
Prayer is one of the strongest and most efficient ways to get rid of people with narcissistic behavior. When you become one with God, nothing and nobody can stop you.
But please be careful what you pray for. You know what they say: it might come true.
Let me tell you the truth: sometimes, you have no idea what’s best for you. You might ask God to change your toxic relationship while you should be praying for the strength to end it.
I’m sure you understand exactly what I’m trying to tell you. The bottom line is that you should ask God to give you what He knows is best for you.
Also, no matter what happens, don’t forget to be grateful. I know that you must think you’re going through the worst hell right now, but if you refresh your memory, you’ll remember tons of blessings God sent your way.
Just like that, you’ll realize there is so much to be thankful for. So, instead of focusing on the things you don’t have, start counting your blessings.
8. Find your sense of self
What is your purpose in life? Why do you think you were brought to this world in the first place?
Who are you? What makes you the person you are today? What are your core values? What makes you happy? Who do you want to become in the future?
How about your belief system? What motivates you? What makes you a unique human being?
No, I can’t give you the answers to either of these questions. Actually, nobody can. Nobody but you, that is.
When you’re involved with a narcissist, they make you lose yourself. They make you forget who you are, and they make you lose your purpose.
So, the next time you ask yourself how to spiritually deal with a narcissist, the answer is that you have to find your sense of self. Give meaning to the limited time you have on this Earth, and make every day count!
9. Focus on healthy relationships
Having a narcissistic partner or family member is extremely difficult. However, you must not allow this relationship to be the only one in your life.
I’m not talking about the relationship you should build with yourself right now. I’m talking about the relationships you have with your friends, other family members and the people you care for.
Instead of wasting all of your energy on your narcissistic abuser, put your focus on those people who deserve your time and effort.
Once you start building more healthy relationships, you’ll realize why you should leave your toxic relationship as soon as possible. Besides, you’ll be more positive and your mental health will drastically improve.
Surround yourself with the people who care for your well-being. Spend time with those who give you unconditional love and support.
Once you do this, healing will become much easier!
10. Positive affirmations
Positive affirmations are an excellent way to deal with a narcissist. We’ve already established that your abuser is doing everything in their power to destroy your sense of self-worth.
They’re trying hard to put you down and to destroy your self-esteem. As much as you try to fight this, sooner or later, they get to you. They persuade you that you’re completely worthless without them.
Well, the best way to fight off your insecurities and to regain your self-confidence is through positive affirmations.
Top positive affirmations
Every morning, when you get up and before you start getting ready for the day, go and stand in front of the mirror. Look at yourself and repeat some of the following mantras:
I will be better.
I am doing everything right.
I am loved.
I am courageous.
I am strong.
I am confident.
Nothing can stop me.
These are just examples— you’re free to add your own positive affirmations. You’re free to say whatever will make you feel better.
Just imagine that you’re your own friend who needs encouragement. What would you say to that friend? Well, say those exact words to yourself.
At first, all of this might sound silly to you. Nevertheless, after a while, you’ll start believing these affirmations, and you’ll notice significant progress.
11. Surround yourself with peace
Being in a narcissistic relationship is stressful. Yes, at first, a toxic relationship might give you the thrill and the butterflies, but after a while, it becomes your primary source of anxiety.
That is exactly why you should surround yourself with peace, at least outside of your relationship. I know that you live a busy life but if you can’t fit anything into your schedule, at least try listening to relaxing music every night before going to sleep.
Take a walk by yourself whenever you have the time to do so. This will help you sort out your thoughts and give you much-needed balance and inner peace.
When you go on vacation, don’t choose a crowded place. Instead, go somewhere quiet, where you won’t be disturbed.
Take every chance you get to be near water. You don’t have to swim or engage in any other activity— sometimes, it’s more than enough to just stare at a water surface to feel better.
When you surround yourself with peace, you’ll find peace within as well!
12. Find the strength to forgive
If you’re Christian, you know what the Bible says about anger.
Ephesians 2:3 says, “All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath.”
I know that you’re just a human being and that perhaps you have no strength to forgive your abuser. After all, it’s the last thing they deserve after all the hell they’ve put you through.
But trust me when I tell you that holding grudges will only affect you negatively. Hatred and resentment will eat you alive sooner or later. That is exactly why you should find the strength inside of you to forgive.
First of all, forgive yourself for choosing wrong. Stop beating yourself up for not knowing better and for not knowing how to spiritually deal with a narcissist sooner.
After that, do your best to forgive them. Don’t let them see this forgiveness as a green light to keep on hurting you.
Remember: you didn’t do it because of them. On the contrary, you’ve done it because it’s the only way to let go of the past and finally heal in a healthy manner.
13. Learn your spiritual lesson
If you’re into spirituality, you know that everything in this life happens for a reason. Maybe you still haven’t reached the level of consciousness to understand the bigger picture, but that doesn’t mean that the Universe sent you this toxic relationship without a higher cause.
Don’t forget that God always has a plan and perfect timing. Trust me when I tell you that there is a hidden spiritual lesson behind everything you’re going through right now.
Let’s look at things this way: if this narc wasn’t sent into your life, would you go back to God? Would you engage in all of these spiritual practices that have now become a part of your life?
At the same time, your abuser was sent to you to teach you the importance of your own self-worth. Sometimes, such people appear in your life to teach you never to settle for less than you deserve or to help you learn how to stand up for yourself.
What does God say about dealing with narcissists?
Even though the Bible doesn’t use the word “narcissism”, it is clear that there are numerous descriptions of narcissistic personality disorder. Not only that— there is also advice on how to handle this type of person. Here are some of the most prominent Bible verses dealing with this topic.
Romans 16: 17-18
“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery, they deceive the minds of naive people.”
“They make much of you, but for no good purpose. They want to shut you out, that you may make much of them.”
“People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”
Proverbs 26: 25-26
“Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. Their malice may be concealed by deception, but their wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.”
“They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.”
What is the spiritual root of narcissism?
Pride is the spiritual root of narcissism. In fact, the Bible refers to this as “insolent pride”. According to Christianity, pride is the original sin— the one where all sins come from.
One of the most common narcissistic traits is hubristic pride, meaning that they have too much self-confidence. A narc thinks that they’re better than everyone else. They possess a characteristic sense of entitlement, which often causes them to be boldly disobedient to God.
They’re egocentric, arrogant, and have no sense of humility. At the same time, they have little or no self-awareness, and therefore, they can never reach spiritual enlightenment.
A narcissist can never grow as a person due to this pride. Even though deep down, they are actually struggling with numerous insecurities, their pride doesn’t let them show their fragile side to the world, nor does it allow them to ask for help.
To Wrap Up:
I won’t lie to you— figuring out how to spiritually deal with a narcissist takes time, energy, and effort, even when you have a step-by-step guide like this. Things won’t change overnight, and you won’t be able to adopt all of these practices in a blink of an eye.
But that doesn’t mean that you should give up on the first sign of trouble. Just because you’re not feeling better instantly, doesn’t mean that progress won’t come.
The most important thing is to have faith. Remember: God gives the toughest battles to His strongest soldiers. Besides, He would never send you something you couldn’t take.
Whatever happens, never lose faith in His plan. One of these days, all the pieces of the puzzle will fall into their place, and you’ll realize why everything had to happen the way it did.