When a guy tells you personal things about himself, he wants you to get to know him and form a deeper bond with you. It’s because he either feels safe with you as a friend or he’s interested in you romantically.
But there’s another possibility that shouldn’t be ignored: he might not really be opening up to you, but making you think he is to manipulate you.
You’ll have to pay close attention to his behavior to work out what he’s all about, but if you keep reading you’ll get enough tips to figure out where you stand in no time.
What Does It Mean When A Guy Tells You Personal Things About Himself?
Sharing your feelings, your history or your inner self isn’t easy, but the desire for the other person to know you pushes you to do it anyway. When a guy tells you personal things about himself, you can be almost sure that you share an emotional connection.
Whether he wants a romantic relationship or to deepen your friendship, there’s a growing bond between you
1. He trusts you
Opening up to you is one of the clear signs that he trusts you. It takes time to build trust, so your relationship isn’t entirely new. If it is and he’s opening up, he might have a problem. More on that below.
Telling you about growing up in his hometown, his most painful breakup or opening up about a current problem shows that he has a degree of familiarity with you that only comes from a connection and trust.
2. He feels safe with you
As a relationship progresses, people slowly move from surface conversations and biographical information towards something more profound.
Sure, you know how many siblings he has, but he might not tell you the story about how he got the small scar on his cheek right away because it carries a deeper meaning.
When he decides to tell you the story about how he got it, you’ll know that he feels safe and comfortable with you.
3. He feels an emotional connection
If a guy feels an emotional connection with you, you’ll probably feel it too because it’s something that grows instead of springs up fully formed. It takes effort to connect emotionally, and you’ve both done your best.
Opening up can be a sign that he feels a bond with you and that you’ve earned the right to know personal things about him.
4. He wants to deepen your relationship
One way of moving a relationship forward is to let the other person in. If he’s interested in deepening your connection, he might start by sharing details about his own life, feelings and things that matter.
He wants to get closer to you, so he’s taking the first step. After you’re sure that you want to, you can reciprocate.
5. He values your thoughts and opinions
Sometimes when a guy shares a problem with you, he wants to hear what you think. If he asks you to comment or give him a solution, it shows you that he values your way of thinking and judgment.
When you know that he wants you to give him advice, don’t hesitate to be honest. If he appreciates your opinions, he won’t mind it, but don’t forget to still have compassion and act with kindness.
6. He wants you to understand him
If he’s sharing personal details that he might be sensitive about, such as mental health issues, insecurities or family problems, he’s showing a great deal of vulnerability and trust because he wants you to understand him.
Honor his courage and strength by being supportive and reassuring, especially if you want him to continue sharing private matters with you.
7. He wants you to know the real him
For most people, the innermost self is the most private thing of all. We display different personas in different contexts in our lives, and the smallest, most true part of what makes someone who they are only comes out once they’re on their own.
If a guy opens up to you and shows you what he’s like when he’s on his own, he wants you to know him. By showing you his deepest fears and brightest dreams, he’s showing you that he’s eager for you to know him.
8. He wants you to accept him
Everyone is flawed, but we all want to have someone who accepts those flaws. If he’s going deep and sharing things he’s ashamed or proud of, if he’s sharing his past relationships, childhood traumas or brightest hopes, he’s laying himself bare for you to accept him.
However big or small whatever he shares is, if you take it in with an open mind, you’ll understand him better. And it’s up to you to accept it or not.
9. He wants to get to know you better
Sharing his personal life is an invitation for you to share yours too. Don’t jump in and make the moment about you, but keep in mind that you have someone who’ll listen when you need it too.
Your response to his opening up will also tell him things about you and encourage him to share again or put him off telling you personal things.
10. You’re special to him
Being able to tell you personal things is a clear sign that you matter to him, as a friend or as a potential partner. Either way, by opening up to you he’s showing you that you’re one of the rare people who has access to his private matters.
It’s a sign that he appreciates you and values you, that you’re special to him and he wants you to know it.
How To Respond When A Guy Opens Up About His Personal Life?
What does it take to open up to someone? The courage to be emotionally vulnerable, first and foremost, but also the trust that the other person won’t let you down. More than anything else, however, it’s the desire to be close to another person.
What to do when a guy opens up to you?
1. Be a good listener
Listen to him with the intention of understanding. Don’t interrupt, assume or judge. Instead of waiting your turn to speak, focus on him.
He might or might not want a reply, so while he’s speaking, it’s best to only try to hear him out and empathize.
Give an indication that you’re listening by nodding, through body language or by repeating what he said to make sure you understood.
2. Reassure him that his feelings are valid
After someone has opened up about something important to them, they might regret it and worry whether they’ve done the right thing. Reassure him by letting him know that you appreciate that he shared personal matters with you.
If he’s struggling with what he told you, remind him that his feelings are valid. Let him know that it’s okay to feel the way he feels and that he made the right choice to share it.
3. Ask him what he needs
When someone confides in you, they might need advice or just a friendly ear. Maybe he just wanted to feel understood and now feels better after sharing with you.
Unless you know for sure that he’s looking for a solution, don’t offer one. It’s best to ask him if he wants advice or if he only needs to talk.
How Do You Know When A Guy Wants To Be More Than Friends?
So when a guy tells you personal things about himself, you know that you’re definitely special to him, but how can you tell if he sees you as his best friend or if he’s in love with you?
Here are all the signs that he wants to be more than friends.
1. He flirts with you
Friends sometimes flirt with each other, but if he wants to be more than friends, his flirting won’t be friendly. Instead, he’ll flirt with a passion that betrays how he feels.
2. He compliments you
If he never fails to find something about you to compliment, that’s because he likes so many things about you that he never runs out of something to talk about.
3. His eyes are always on you
If he’s always looking at you, he likes what he sees. There’s nothing friendly about his pointed stare or his lidded gaze always directed at you, always following you.
4. He touches you casually
Romantic interest is most obvious in body language and behavior. He’ll always find a way to touch you in a casual way, such as holding a handshake too long, placing his fingers on the small of your back as you’re walking and any other way.
5. He asks you personal questions
He tells you personal things about himself, but he’s also endlessly curious about you. He’s opening up and wants you to open up too.
6. He notices things about you
He notices everything, and everything matters. Because you’re the most interesting person to him, he’s paying attention and noticing things about you – from your gestures and way of talking to small changes.
7. He remembers small details about you
If he surprises you by knowing something small that you’d never think someone would remember about you, it’s because nothing about you is irrelevant to him. The little things about you are more interesting and memorable than anything else.
8. He’s interested in things you’re interested in
It’s not that your likes and dislikes become his too, but that he gives things a chance because he trusts your judgment. If you like something, it must be amazing, right?
9. He talks about you to other people
He can’t shut up about you, so he doesn’t. If you’re his favorite topic, it’s a good sign that you’re always on his mind and nothing holds the same interest as you do.
10. He tries to make you laugh
It’s well known that laughing together increases attraction. When he’s being silly trying to get you to laugh, he isn’t only doing it for you, but also for himself – seeing you laugh makes him happy too.
11. He doesn’t like it when you talk to other guys
Whenever your male friends or random guys talk to you, he sulks. If he’s showing a small degree of jealousy, it’s because he’s interested in you and he’s hoping you won’t get together with anyone else.
12. He doesn’t show interest in others
If he gives you his full attention when you’re together even if there are lots of other people around, it’s a sure sign that he likes you. Others just aren’t as cute and cool and sexy as you. In fact, no one can compare.
13. He’s different with you than with anyone else
You’re special, so you get special treatment. If he’s more gentle and caring with you than his other friends, he’s emotionally attracted to you.
14. He initiates contact a lot
Phoning, texting, social media or in person, he has no problem contacting you first. Instead of keeping it cool and playing games, he tells you when he misses you.
15. He wants to spend time with you
Spending time together is what dating is all about. If you’re already friends even though you technically never even had a first date. Maybe you can even skip casual dating and go straight to a serious relationship?
16. He playfully teases you
Playful teasing and having fun together is a sign of a healthy relationship. If you’re not in a romantic relationship yet, make sure to keep enjoying each other’s company the same way once you do.
17. He makes sure you know that you can rely on him
A sure sign that he wants to take things to the next level is if he constantly shows concern for your well-being and makes sure you know that you can count on him if you need something. He’s vulnerable with you and not afraid to put himself out there.
18. He goes out of his way for you
One of the most obvious signs of interest is if, for him, nothing is too difficult when it comes to you. If he’s willing to go to the opposite end of the city just to pick up your favorite food, he probably wants to be more than friends with you.
19. He talks to you about his future plans
When he talks to you about his future and includes you in them, is not only a sign that he wants something more, but that he wants a serious relationship. He’s including you in his life now and wants to include you going forward.
20. He tries to get you to see him in that way
When you meet a guy while looking for romance and from the start consider him a potential partner, things are different than if a friendship develops between you first.
In that case, it might take some work to transition from friends to romantic interests, so if he’s trying hard to change your impression of him from friend to potential boyfriend, it’s a sign that he likes you.
How Can You Tell If A Guy Is Being Honest?
Sincerity and vulnerability are keys to emotional bonding, but some people use openness or the appearance of openness to gain something.
This isn’t always malicious – some people simply lack the emotional intelligence to form bonds with others and try to do it the wrong way. Others, however, are trying to manipulate you.
How do you know if the personal things he tells you are true? Here are some signs.
1. His stories are consistent
If he were manipulating you, all of his stories would serve a certain purpose, so he’d have to change things up to make them fit. If it seems that the things he tells you contradict each other, he might not be telling you the truth.
2. The things he tells you don’t always need an emotional reaction
Sometimes people share just to share, but when someone is trying to gain something from a personal story, they’ll always do it through emotions.
Instead of telling you something personal because he wants you to know, he tells you a story to gain pity, admiration or another emotional reaction.
3. He’s not suspicious when you ask him follow-up questions
A person who’s telling the truth has enough information about the topic to be able to answer any follow-up questions without panicking.
Someone who’s lying or making things up will need time to think about it, so you’ll often hear typical liar techniques for delaying answers to invent them.
4. He’s not manipulating eye contact
When someone is lying, they maintain eye contact on purpose to make you think they have nothing to hide, so they look you in the eyes too much. Conversely, if they don’t know that they’re supposed to look you in the eyes, they’ll avoid your gaze.
If he’s honest, eye contact will be natural and not premeditated.
5. He’s not vague or overly detailed
Constructing lies is complex, so liars either invent too many details and get lost in them, or they don’t say anything except the bare-bones framework of the lie.
An honest person might forget things, but even if they don’t recall all the information, they remember the feelings they were experiencing at the time they’re telling you about.
How do you know if a guy is manipulating you through opening up?
He’s manipulating you by opening up if:
• He wants a specific emotional reaction from you.
• He’s telling you exactly what you want to hear.
• He evades your questions.
• He ignores your responses.
• He insists you listen even if you’re not interested.
• He’s using vulnerability instead of being vulnerable.
• It feels like he’s trying to force intimacy.
• He’s telling you things that are too private for the level of closeness you share.
• He expects something in return.
• His stories seem tailored to show him in a good light.
More Reasons A Guy Might Tell You Personal Things
Sometimes guys have an agenda behind opening up even though they don’t mean to manipulate you. Here are some reasons.
If he’s opening up to you because he feels like the relationship you’ve created together is at the level where you have earned the right to hear what he has to say and he does it because he wants to, it tells you that he feels that you’re the right person to tell things.
When you don’t know each other well or your relationship isn’t the kind where you’d share personal things and he still does, it’s because he’s trying to manufacture a connection too soon. Oversharing is often a sign of being needy and depending on other people to make you happy.
2. He’s going through something
If he has something stressful going on and he’s feeling emotionally fragile, venting helps distract him from his problems. If you care about wellness, give him a listening ear and think about what’s going on between the two of you after he’s back to normal.
3. He wants advice
Sometimes he shares because he needs advice and you’re the best candidate to get it from. When it’s just about solving his problem, it’s usually just about that and doesn’t really impact your relationship. Still, it points out that he values your advice.
4. He wants attention and knows you’ll listen
When he’s in need of attention and knows that you’ll give it to him, it’s to be expected that he’ll run to you when he wants some and he’ll tell you something that will turn the spotlight on him.
This is probably harmless if your relationship is otherwise reciprocal and happy.
5. He’s testing you
If he wants to see whether he can trust you with something or behaves in a way that specifically triggers an emotional response, he might be playing mind games and testing you to see how you’ll react. He might or might not realize it, but this is manipulative and underhanded.
To Sum Up
When a guy tells you personal things about himself, you’ll know why it’s happening if you think about everything else going on in your relationship.
You first need to consider if he’s being honest and sincere or if he’s trying to gain something from you by telling you a story.
If you decide that you trust him and if you like that he’s opening up to you, you’re lucky. You either have a close friend who shares personal things with you or someone who likes you. By paying attention to his other behaviors you’ll be able to tell which.