So you are getting to know a girl you really like, but you are scared of blowing things up right from the start. You are afraid that your poor conversation skills will chase her away and that you won’t have the chance to show this girl everything you have to offer.
You are nervous because you feel like you won’t have anything to talk about and you are scared that your date will be a complete disaster.
Well, your troubles are about to end because you’ve come to the right place. Here is some communication advice and things to talk about with a girl you like to help you seal the deal.
1. How both of your days went
When you are on a date with a girl you are just getting to know, especially if it’s a first date, the best advice you can take is to start with some light topics.
After all, the two of you don’t know each other very well just yet, so you don’t want things to get awkward right from the start. That’s why you need some ice breakers and some universal conversation topics you can talk about with everyone.
One of the best things to talk about with a girl at first is to ask her how her day went and of course to talk about your day, as well.
You may think this topic is boring but trust me, it can turn into one of the most interesting conversations and it can help you learn a lot about the girl sitting next to you. This way, you’ll get to know her daily routine, the things she enjoys doing and the things that annoy her. It also shows her from the start that you are interested in more than just her physical appearance. It tells your date that you are looking to build communication with her and that getting into her pants is not your only goal.
And trust me—that is something every girl appreciates.
If you have problems starting a conversation, you can try telling her a funny story about your day. Remember, conversation starters which loosen up the mood a little bit are always welcome because they are the ones which determine if this is going to be a great conversation in general and the start of something more.
2. Spare time
One of the light topics to talk about—and something that could help you get to know this person better—is talking about free time.
What are this girl’s favorite hobbies? What relaxes her the most after a long and stressful day?
Is she the outgoing type or does she prefer to stay indoors? Does she enjoy spending her free time in crowded places with a lot of people or does she prefer to spend her free time somewhere more quiet?
Is she a sports type or a bookworm? Does she enjoy adventures and does she like to travel?
What are the places she’s visited so far and where would she like to go in the future?
All of this can help you see if she an extroverted or an introverted girl and it can help you understand the best way to deal with her.
Of course, these are all the things you should tell her about yourself, as well.
What you need to understand is that this date can possibly be the start of something new which might last. That is why you need to see if you and this girl are compatible when it comes to spending your free time. You need to see if you have similar interests and if your definition of fun is the same.
After all, there is the possibility of you spending most of your free time with this person and you need to make sure you both want the same things because otherwise, you might have a problem.
Besides your hobbies and spending your free time, another thing that you should talk to this girl about are her interests and preferences. Talk about the stuff this girl loves. Are there things that the two of you have in common?
Go an extra mile: ask this girl some questions to explore her mind.
What kind of art does she enjoy? What is this girl’s favorite book and author? What is her favorite movie? Does she enjoy watching any TV shows and if so, which ones?
Does this girl like to go to museums and theatres or does she prefer clubbing? Or does she combine the two?
Do the two of you have similar interests or you are completely different?
Let’s get one thing straight—I’m definitely not telling you that you should try and find the girl who likes exactly the same things you like. After all, that is practically impossible. And even if it were possible, it wouldn’t be interesting.
But what you need to decide is whether the two of you are too different when it comes to your interests and preferences, and if these differences have a negative or a positive impact on your potential relationship.
I know these are some things you probably don’t want to think about from the start but trust me—this is exactly the time when you should have these things in mind, before things go too far.
4. Work, career and school
If you’ve gone out on a blind date with a girl, you probably don’t know much about the person sitting next to you. The same thing happens if you guys met in a club or in similar circumstances.
Therefore, your date is a great opportunity to find out more about each other.
What does this girl do for a living? Does she like what she does? Is she happy with her career choices and is she satisfied with the things she has accomplished so far?
Although work topics can seem boring at first, they are actually everything but that.
First of all, it will give you the chance to talk about each other’s education and what you wanted to become when you were younger.
Also, it will give you a chance to find about the type of person this girl is. Is she the creative type? Does she enjoy working with people?
Is she ambitious and is she looking for ways to progress or she is more than happy with her work position and she doesn’t think of changing it?
Did she manage to make her dreams regarding her career come true? Is she at the place she wanted to be? If not, what is she doing about it?
Of course, you need to make sure not to turn this into a quiz and not to make this girl feel like she’s being interrogated. Instead, these are just the things that will probably be mentioned through the conversation and the things she expects to find out about you as well.
5. Hopes and dreams
So, you’ve covered most of the light topics and you’ve definitely broken the ice. Now, you are both relaxed and comfortable around each other and you are both ready to start to getting to know each other better.
That means it might be a good idea to start tackling some deeper issues and to show her that you’ve been paying attention to everything this girl told you.
One of these issues is the conversation about your hopes, dreams and aspirations.
If you start this topic, you’ll show this girl that you are way different than all the other guys out there. You don’t want to get to know this girl shallowly. You want to get to know the core of her soul and personality.
That means you’ll want to know what this girl’s deepest dreams and hopes are.
What does she want from life? What did she dream to become? And is she the person she always wanted to be?
And most importantly, do the two of you want similar things from life?
If you talk to any girl about these topics, she’ll see that you stand out from others and you’ll definitely interest her in giving you a chance and to start something more serious with you. You’ll show her that you are a mature man and not a boy.
A lot of guys are afraid of opening up to women, especially in the beginning. They are scared of tearing down their emotional walls because they think this will make them appear too vulnerable or less masculine. They also might be afraid of getting hurt if they show their real personality to the girl they’ve just met.
And this is where you should show this woman that you are not like every other man out there and that you love talking about your feelings.
You need to show her that you are just a human being made of flesh who doesn’t pretend he is tougher than he actually is. You need to show her that you don’t have any trouble whatsoever being in touch with your emotional and vulnerable side.
And the best way to achieve this is to talk to her about your deepest fears and disappointments.
No, this won’t make you weak and it definitely won’t chase this girl away. Instead, she will just see that you are strong enough to get in touch with your emotions and that you don’t have any problem talking about them.
Of course, you opening up to this girl will probably inspire her to do the same thing. She’ll realize that you trust her enough to be sincere around her and that will make her think you are also trustworthy, so she will feel like she can talk to you about the same things you’ve been telling her about.
All of this is a great foundation for a great relationship and this is exactly what you need and want.
So you’ve talked to this girl about work, about both of your hobbies and interests and you’ve started tackling some more serious and deeper issues.
Now is the right time to start talking about the thing that probably interests you the most—relationships.
I know you probably want to know as much as possible about this girl’s relationship history, but you need to be aware of the fact that the of you are just getting to know each other and you can’t expect her to tell you everything about her love life right away.
You don’t want to be too nosey and you definitely don’t want to appear insecure. And that is exactly what she’ll think of you if you start questioning her about every single detail of her romantic past.
The thing you should never do is to ask a girl about the number of guys she’s dated or about the number of men she slept with because that invades her privacy and has nothing to do with you anyway. Besides, it only shows that you are intimidated and insecure.
Instead, you should be the first one to open up about your relationship past. I am not saying that you should tell her every single detail of it or that you should mention every girl you’ve ever dated.
But there is nothing wrong with mentioning the fact that you’ve just gotten out of a serious relationship or something similar. Just make sure not to talk about your exes too much because that might seem you are still not over them completely, that you carry a lot of emotional baggage or that this girl is nothing more than your rebound girl.
After she sees you’ve opened up, I’m sure she’ll follow.
Another topic that you should tackle is what both of you actually want and expect from your love life. I know that you are in the beginning and it would be absurd for the two of you to commit to anything or to make any promises to each other right away.
But it would be nice if you could both be honest and sincerely tell each other what it is that you are really looking for. Do you just want to have some fun or you are looking for something more serious? This will help you see if you are on the same page and it will help you build your potential future together.