52 cosas manipuladoras que dicen los narcisistas en una discusión

If you’re dating a narcissist or if your close one is a narcissist, I’m sure you’ve noticed they have a unique way of fighting. Sometimes, it’s simply impossible to decode things narcissists say in an argument.

They’re such great manipulators and they have the power to make you believe everything they say. Y no tiene nada que ver con tu inteligencia o ingenuidad, simplemente tienen esa capacidad de hacerse con el control de la gente tan fácilmente.

Sometimes, those will be direct insults but, most commonly, narcissists will use manipulative and gaslighting sentences you won’t even understand at that moment.

To help you avoid their manipulation, I’ll guide you through some of the most common phrases narcissists use. The first time you hear one of them coming out of their mouth, you need to ditch them out of your life or simply set boundaries and silence them once and for all.

Cosas manipuladoras que dicen los narcisistas en una discusión

Let’s start with every narcissist’s favorite method and its, of course, manipulation. They have frases manipulativas habituales que utilizan para ganar influencia sobre otra persona.

1. “I’m not going to do anything that could upset you.”

This is what they say but the truth is completely different. However, with this phrase, they’re trying to manipulate you into trusting them, which will make it easier for them to controlarte.

2. “I love you more than anything.”

Bombardeo de amor es también uno de los common narcissistic’s tactics.

They know how you feel about them and they’ll give you what you need the most; the confession of their love to you. Then they’ll use your feelings to manipulate you into doing whatever they want.

3. “I used to think you were a good person.”

Este tipo de frase donde tienes manipulación combinada con echar la culpa a otros es una enorme bandera roja you’re dealing with a real narcissist.

4. “You’re so sensitive.”

They’re trying to degrade your self-esteem and damage your mental health. Personas con baja autoestima son siempre la presa más fácil para los narcisistas.

5. “You have trust issues.”

Tal vez usted tiene problemas de confianza but don’t think that your narcissist tells you this because they care about your mental or emotional well-being because all narcissists have many traits in common and one of them is lack of empathy.

Sólo quieren manipularte para que pienses que tus problemas de confianza nublan tu juicio.

6. “Others think I’m a pretty nice guy/girl. Too bad you don’t.”

An obvious red flag of a narcissist, right? They think they’re perfect, they think everyone else finds them perfect and they’ll want to manipulate you into thinking the same about them.

7. “No one else thinks that./Everyone else thinks the same way.”

Using these sentences, a narcissist will want to make you believe that your opinion is opposed to everyone else’s and that it instantly makes it wrong.

8. “We’re perfect together.”

Otra forma de bombardeo amoroso. Don’t think they’re telling you this because they honestly think that way. Quieren ganarse tu atención de nuevo porque la necesitan para su suministro narcisista.

9. “I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”

Sí, claro que sí. Tienen un gran sentido del derecho y una opinión muy elevada de sí mismos. Besides, they want to make you think it’s really the truth which would awaken your fear of losing them.

10. “It’s always something with you.”

Actually, both of you know that the truth is that it’s never anything to do with you. However, this is just their way of trying to avoid talking about a topic that doesn’t suit them.

11. “You’ll never find anyone as good as me.”

Se trata de una frase muy similar a la anterior. Narcissists have a sense of self-importance and they truly believe they’re always the best but in this way, they’re also trying to make you think that they’re truly the best choice for you.

12. “It’s my way or the highway!”

Well then, it should be the highway for you. As simple as that. If you allow them to blackmail you this way, they’ll gain complete control over you.

Por cierto, esto se puede utilizar como un badass estado de tus redes sociales. It’s really cool, right?

13. “If you do that I will not like you anymore.”

This is also another form of blackmailing and it’s the most awful one, el chantaje emocional. When you’re in a romantic relationship with someone and they’re aware of your feelings, if they try to use those feelings to manipulate you, it’s called emotional blackmailing.

14. “Nobody likes you, they all laugh behind your back.”

They just want to block your communication with other people who might alert you that you’re in a relación con un narcisista.

Véase también: 8 señales más comunes de manipulación en una relación

Cosas que los narcisistas dicen en una discusión mientras intentan gasearte

Un narcisista también intentará gaslight usted con estas frases muy comunes abajo.

1. “You will NEVER have the confidence to leave me!”

They know about your self-esteem because you’ve probably always sought validation from them and never had the guts to stand up for yourself.

I’m sure they think you really won’t have the guts to leave them no matter what they do to you but they’ll tell you that because they’ll want to damage your self-esteem and hurt you even more.

2. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

¿Intentas cuestionar tu propia cordura? Es el típico narcisista y su método favorito: la luz de gas.

3. “You’re so jealous and insecure.”

I doubt you are. You’ve probably confronted them with your doubts or maybe some evidence about their possible infidelity and they’re trying to get away with it.

Por otro lado, si realmente lo eres, deberías trabajar en ello e intentar controla tus celos.

4. “I am not trying to control you. You are thinking about your ex-husband, and taking it out on me.”

And you didn’t even mention your ex-husband, right? I think it’s clear what they’re trying to do. Shifting the blame, plus making you feel bad.

5. “You’re not making any sense.”

In other words, they want to tell you that you’re crazy.

6. “You need to toughen up.”

They want to make you think that, because you’re being overly sensitive, you’ve started imagining things and making up some issues.

7. “You need help.”

Don’t let this sentence hurt you. The only one who needs help is them, not you.

8. “No wonder no one likes you.”

Don’t let them make you believe this. There are so many people who genuinely love and care about you, and they’ll always be there for you, no matter what.

9. “You are so childish/immature.”

Una vez más, tratando de hacerte sentir mal contigo mismo.

10. “You’re a bad person.”

No, querida, no lo eres. Sus padres narcisistas han hecho una mala persona, los tuyos sólo han hecho una persona ingenua que se enamoró de la persona equivocada.

11. “Listen to yourself! You are losing it.”

You’re losing it because you’ve finally stood up for yourself? No, right now you’re being more normal than ever.

Véase también: 80 cosas divertidas que decirle a un narcisista para herir su ego

Cosas a la defensiva que dicen los narcisistas en una discusión

Echa un vistazo a estas frases que los narcisistas utilizarán para defenderse cuando te enfrentes a ellos por algo que hicieron.

1. “You’re overreacting.”

Yeah, it’s always you, it’s never them. Yeah, right. ?

2. “That’s stupid.”

No, they’re stupid. Don’t let them affect your self-esteem.

3. “What do you get out of being all moody all the time? I hope that’s fun for you.”

If it’s true, if you’re being moody De hecho, intenta llevar un diario saludable de tus emociones. However, I’m sure you’re not moody and your narcissist is only trying to make you believe that your ‘moodiness’ is guilty of your fights.

4. “I’m smarter than you so you should listen to me.”

Who says that? They’re the only ones who think so and don’t let them make you believe it’s really the truth.

5. “You’re always making shit up in your head.”

Entonces, debes de ser muy creativo e imaginativo cuando puedes inventarte tantas cosas en la cabeza todo el tiempo.

6. “You always take it the wrong way.”

Tell them to explain it to you then if you didn’t understand it the right way. I’m sure they won’t be able to do so because you’ve understood it perfectly.

7. “Why are you being a bitch, get over it, I’m late, I was supposed to be here at noon but it’s 2:40 pm. Do you want to go eat or not?”

Si un hombre me enviara este mensaje, nunca volvería a saber de mí. Y quiero decir NUNCA jamás.

8. “That never happened.”

That’s why you should never accuse a narcissist of anything if you don’t have the legit evidence to prove it. That way, they won’t be able to tell you this.

Cosas que los narcisistas dicen en una discusión para burlarse de ti

A person with NPD will try to mock and belittle you because it helps them feel like the bigger person. These are some phrases they’ll use to ridicule you and hurt your feelings.

1. “Grow up!”

They want to say they’re mature and you are not. And that you should probably admit they’re right because of it and end your argument. Well, all I have to say to you is that you’re crazy if you do that.

2. “You look stupid doing that.”

If you have fragile self-esteem, you’ll probably believe them and stop doing whatever it is that you’re doing. And they’ll once again succeed in manipulating you.

3. “You should get tested for schizophrenia.”

Si alguna vez te dicen esto, debes poner fin inmediatamente a la discusión y a todo tipo de conversación con ellos.

4. “You’re so crazy.”

You’re probably crazy because you’ve finally figured out their intentions with you and decided to confront them.

5. “You’re crazy, you weirdo, freak.”

These are very clear insults. And in a narcissistic rage, these are the phrases and ‘adjectives’ you should expect from them.

6. “Why can’t you be more like him/her.”

If you truly love someone and have honest intentions with that person, you wouldn’t compare them with your ex or any other person in the first place.

7. “You like being a victim.”

This is a very popular narcissistic phrase when they’re deflecting away from a fight.

8. “There’s something wrong with you.”

No, my dear. There is something wrong with them and don’t allow them to affect your mental health or self-esteem.

9. “You need a shrink.”

It’s not an insult to be needing or visiting a psychiatrist. However, when it’s said in this way, it immediately gives it an insulting tone.

Cosas que dicen los narcisistas para echarse la culpa en una discusión

El desplazamiento de la culpa es una técnica que utilizan los narcisistas para hacer que sus víctimas se sientan mal por haber discutido con ellos.

1. “Why do you always have to criticize me?”

They’re accusing you of being too critical because they want to make you forget their wrongdoings and things you were actually fighting over.

2. “I can’t believe you’re saying this.”

Esta es una frase muy común que los narcisistas utilizan para hacer sentir mal a sus víctimas.

3. “You just look for something to gripe about all the time.”

It’s always you, it’s never them. But you should be aware of the truth and don’t allow them to get to your sanity.

4. “It’s not my fault, you made me do it.”

Trust me, you can’t control nor can you ever make a narcissist do anything they don’t want to do.

5. “You need to learn to communicate better.”

Tus habilidades de comunicación son el verdadero problema, no los errores que cometieron. Sí, claro.

6. “You’re the one with the problem, not me.”

And you indeed are. You’re the one dealing with a narcissist which means you have the real problem, not the other side.

7. “You’re being irrational.”

You’re probably being irrational because you’ve finally gathered the strength to confront them. Then, if that’s the case, keep being irrational.

8. “If you wouldn’t piss me off I wouldn’t have to say mean things to you.”

¿Cuántas veces te han hecho enfadar? ¿Alguna vez les insultaste y les hiciste daño como ellos te insultan a ti? Creo que no y eso lo explica todo.

9. “It’s your fault that I feel this way.”

You can make a person feel a certain way but it’s again only up to them how they’ll deal with those emotions. That part is something you can’t affect.

10. “It’s always your fault.”

Maybe it is but it’s only from their point of view. If you take a look at the facts, you’ll understand that the truth is far away from that.

¿Qué decir para poner fin a una discusión con un narcisista?

Si quieres calmar una discusión acalorada o callar por completo a un narcisista, aquí tienes algunas de las mejores y más comunes frases para ese trabajo. Ten por seguro que estas frases harán el trabajo a la perfección.

• “I hear what you’re saying.”

Esto es algo que una persona con trastorno límite o narcisista de la personalidad necesita oír para calmarse. You need to make them feel understood and heard. It’s when they’ll probably shut down and end the argument.

• “We both have a right to our own opinions.”

You don’t want to continue the fight with a narcissist but you also want to make it clear that you don’t give up on your opinion? Use this sentence and they’ll understand what you wanted to say perfectly.

• “I am capable of doing what I want regardless of what you think.”

With this phrase, you’ll show your strong self-esteem and resist abuso narcisista. You’ll show them that you’re strong and that you don’t allow any other human being to control or interfere in any way in your life.

• “Well, this is not going very well. I am sure we can do better. Let’s take a “No-Fault Do-Over” and try again.”

Esta frase definitivamente te ayudará a desescalar una pelea con tu narcisista. Por supuesto, si están de acuerdo con usted y detener con el argumento hasta que se enfríe su temperamento.

• “I don’t like how you’re speaking to me so I will not engage.”

Esta es la mejor manera de acabar con un narcisista. You simply decide you won’t engage in such toxic communication with them and turn your back on them.

• “Let’s agree to disagree.”

This phrase simply means that you don’t and won’t agree with them but you also don’t want to engage in a more heated argument.

• “I can work with this, but I draw the line to be insulted or yelled at.”

If you want to handle the argument with a narcissist with grandiosity, this is the phrase you’ll use. You’ll still be trying to argue with them in a healthy way but you’ll also establecer límites dónde pones el límite.

• “Your anger is not my fault and I refuse to take the blame for it.”

One of the narcissistic traits is taking their anger and their negative emotions on their close ones. And it’s definitely not something you should allow them, no matter how deeply you love them.

Don’t allow them to blame you for their anger because it’s simply up to them and their inability to deal with negative emotions.

• “I understand that you’re upset and disappointed, and I’m willing to listen to your thoughts and feelings.”

If it’s a family member or a person you deeply love and care for, you’ll talk with them in this way. You’ll show them that you understand them and you’ll try to get them to open up to you about their true feelings.

¿Cómo discute un narcisista encubierto?

Lo primero que un narcisista encubierto utilizará en una discusión contigo es el cambio de culpas. They’ll try to blame you for every bad thing and they’ll try to persuade you into thinking that you should be the one apologizing to them.

If that doesn’t work, they’ll try to convince you that you’re imagining it all. Their only goal is to make themselves seem innocent and they’ll do absolutely everything to achieve it.

Convert narcissists have a fragile ego and if you keep disagreeing and blaming them, they’ll reach out for their favorite weapon: el tratamiento silencioso. If they know you love them deeply, they are also aware that it’s the best way to ‘punish’ you for your resistance to their narcissistic methods.

Al final

Did you ever hear any of these phrases and things narcissists say in an argument? If you have, you should stay away from the person who said them to you because it’s obvious you were dealing with a narcisista que intentaba manipularte.

They’ll try to insult or belittle you because they’ll want to devalue your fragile self-esteem. Por otro lado, eso les permitirá ganar control sobre ti.

La próxima vez que empieces una discusión con un narcisista, utiliza uno de estos ejemplos mencionados anteriormente para callar a tu narcisista para siempre. If you can’t throw them out of your life, at least keep them at a safe distance and don’t let them harm your peace of mind.