I bet he was wonderful when you first met. He did everything by the book. He called and texted regularly.
He showered you with attention. He was gentle and sweet. He made efforts.
Just when you started to think you are living in one of those perfect romance novels, he proved you wrong.
His behavior changed so drastically. At first, he couldn’t stand to be apart from you or to hear from you. Then all of a sudden, he completely ignored you.
Trust me when I say you had nothing to do with his behavior. It’s not that he doesn’t like you anymore. He did it because he doesn’t like himself.
A confident man, a man who loves himself, behaves differently. Even if he loses interest in a woman, he will tell her. If he’s not ready for a relationship, he will be honest about it.
He won’t string her along and treat her like she is the center of his universe just so he could toss her away later on like she means nothing.
That’s not how a real man behaves. That’s how cowards and manipulators play games.
That’s why he deliberately started your relationship with love bombing. He knew you will hold on to that perfect beginning when he starts mistreating you later on.
He knew those perfect moments with him will be enough for you to keep on forgiving him for every time he does you wrong. That they will be enough for you to hope that he will change back. But he never will.
Men like him don’t change; they only get worse.
Sadly, you are unable to see it right away. You can’t grasp that someone who was so warm and loving to you can be so cold and heartless.
In spite of everything, you still believe in the good in him. You still replay those happy moments with him and hold on to them for dear life.
You blame yourself for everything because he taught you to do that. He was always so skillful, and he always played the role of the victim so marvelously.
You truly started to believe that everything he says is the truth. And it’s no wonder because he used every atom of his strength to lower your self-esteem. He needed to make you emotionally weak, so he could rule your life.
Don’t trust him when he says he loves you. He is incapable of love you because he doesn’t love himself.
If he treats you poorly, don’t believe his declarations of love. Trust your tears. Trust your nervous breakdowns. Trust your feeling of helplessness that he is not the one for you.
Don’t trust his words because words don’t mean much when actions fail.
The only one who can love you is the man who already loves himself.
He will pour all his love onto you, selflessly. He will treat you right, no matter what. Sure you will have your disagreements from time to time, but he will never make you go through hell.
A man who loves himself will be the wind underneath your wings. It will never cross his mind to belittle you or make you feel less because he thinks the world of you.
You see a man like this will make efforts not excuses. He will give as much as he takes. He will never make you feel alone. A man who loves himself will know how to love you, and that’s the only truth.
So, wait for him…find him… find yourself and acknowledge your worth. Don’t allow anybody to treat you like you are unworthy. Don’t settle for someone who treats you badly. That’s not love… that’s torture.