Let me assure you right away that it’s possible to learn how to attract a man physically. Dressing a certain way or pulling a certain move won’t work – but once you get it, you’ll always know what to do.
Instead of looking for a quick fix, you have to become genuinely attractive. It’s easier than you might think, and everyone can achieve it with a little bit of practice.
Attraction is complex and isn’t based on physical features as much as you might have been led to believe. It isn’t just about looks but also about personality and charm. Beauty ideals change, but openness, positivity and confidence make a person universally appealing.
Read on to learn how to awaken your most attractive self.
How To Attract A Man Physically? Here’s What Doesn’t Work
It would be great if I could just give you a definitive checklist of things to do to get a man attracted to you instantly. Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as that.
If you look up how to attract a man physically, you’ll find tips that consider biology, evolution, society – everything that’s considered to affect attractiveness. But people are more complex than a simple list.
For example, you’ll often see something like this:
• Red is the most attractive color, so wearing a red dress will make you look sexy.
• Having an hourglass figure is a sign of good health and fertility. Accentuate it if you’re built that way. If not, fake a narrow waist and wide hips.
• Wear high heels to appear slimmer and more feminine.
• Youthful facial features are attractive, so a woman’s eyes should be big. Wear makeup, but don’t overdo the mascara.
• Speak in a high-pitched voice that will make you seem smaller, younger and more feminine.
• Have long, thick and shiny hair. Preferably brown, because men prefer that hair color.
• Be tall, but not taller than him. Have long arms and long legs, but don’t be too thin or too thick.
• Have big breasts, as long as they’re perky.
Detailed lists like this one won’t help you be more attractive. You could check every item on the list and still not get any reaction from the one guy you want to attract.
More than anything, tips like these are unrealistic, sexist and discouraging. They will only make you chase some impossible ideal that will damage your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself.
What can I do to attract a man?
The definition of a woman’s attractiveness doesn’t only change across different eras and different cultures – it’s also heavily influenced by individual experiences.
The man you’re interested in is influenced by his background, history, self-image and other factors that define what he’s drawn to. There are no guarantees that he likes any specific features or moves and there’s nothing that all men find attractive.
A guy can look at you and like your body. Or a body part. For example, if he’s into foot fetishism, he won’t even notice your face. But for a guy to find you physically attractive and not only feel lust, he must also be attracted to things about you beyond your looks.
So what can you do to attract a guy if there are no exact steps to take? As I already told you, you must become genuinely attractive.
What Does It Mean To Be Attractive?
Objective beauty exists – it would be a lie to say it doesn’t. Symmetry and certain proportions of facial features are more pleasant to look at, but this alone doesn’t make someone attractive.
Think of a woman you know who is naturally attractive.
Not a celebrity, but someone you’ve seen interact with other people who are all drawn to her. It might seem like she doesn’t have to make any special effort to make people interested in her. You’d think that this woman never needs a friend’s advice or help from a dating coach because that’s just the way she is.
She’s probably good-looking, but I bet she doesn’t fit all the beauty standards. If you look closely, she might not have ideal body proportions, a cute button nose or the glossiest lips.
So what is it that makes her so attractive? It’s the way all her physical, mental and emotional traits add up to create a whole. Can you become this kind of woman?
You can: to become irresistible and attract the man you deserve, you need to grow in all of those areas. You’ll find your most appealing side at the point where all of your qualities intersect.
How To Become Attractive In 5 Ways
I’ll assume that you want to be attractive because you want a partner and aren’t just looking for a short-term casual relationship. It doesn’t matter if you want to attract a particular guy or be more attractive to men in general, your approach should be the same.
You can’t separate physical attraction from attraction in general – it’s only one aspect of being attractive. Attractiveness isn’t only based on looking good and acting in a seductive way.
The sight of the female body can make a man feel lust, but it takes more than that to attract his mind and his heart.
To learn how to attract a man physically, work on the following 5 traits and behaviors.
Building your self-esteem and confidence is the most important thing you can do to succeed in life. Please fully understand and accept this. The more you feel attractive, the more attractive you will be.
Sure, some men are attracted to women with low self-esteem, but those relationships don’t actually work. The men are either toxic and use those women or clueless and preoccupied with their own issues.
Until you truly believe that you’re attractive and worthy of love, you’ll continue to self-sabotage and fail at romantic relationships. You’ll always wonder deep inside why someone would love you when you’re not that great.
Your looks matter, but they can’t bring you happiness unless you embrace your inner beauty. Your mind is the source of your sex appeal.
Here’s what to pay attention to when you want to exude confidence and attractiveness.
• Love yourself
What does it mean to love anyone? To accept them as they are and want the best for them. So that’s how to love yourself too.
Accept yourself, including your flaws. Work on improving what you can, but have compassion and kindness even for those things about you that you don’t like.
• Believe that you’re worthy of love
See the good in yourself and reject negative thoughts and limitations. Don’t be ashamed of yourself, even if you don’t like all of yourself.
Be happy with who you are and the path you’re on. If you don’t like it, change it, but don’t hate yourself as you go along.
• Know that you’re attractive
Be confident in your identity, who you are and where you’re going. Be happy with where you are in life, even when there’s room for improvement. Focus on your best traits and accentuate the things you like.
Don’t be needy, because you can meet your own needs. Don’t look for a savior, but a companion. Don’t be envious and don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t look for any guy, but the right guy.
• Be authentic
Always try to act like yourself. Express the emotions that you truly feel. Don’t pretend to be a better version of yourself.
Focus on the positive and what you like the most about yourself. Don’t try to fake confidence – people feel when you’re not genuine.
• Have the confidence to go for what you want
Don’t think you have to wait until you look or feel a certain way to know you’re attractive. Love yourself by taking care of yourself.
Know you deserve a happy, loving relationship. Don’t socialize with people who make you feel bad about yourself. Always work to improve and build your confidence further.
Sexual attraction depends on looks, but there isn’t a single physical attribute that you must have to be attractive. Mainly, it’s about whether or not you care for your appearance, how much you like your looks and how you present yourself.
Most of the time, people form their first impression of you based on your appearance. So it’s up to you to make sure that you show how you want to be seen.
How to look good and make a man attracted to you at first sight? By taking care of these essential components of your appearance.
Good grooming starts with good hygiene. You can’t look good unless you’re clean. Take care of your teeth. Nice teeth look good and make you more likely to smile.
Have a pleasant scent. Use a perfume you like or go without, but make sure you smell nice. Get a manicure or at least keep your nails clean and tidy.
Most men say they prefer women without makeup, but what they really mean is that they want women to look good instead of like they’re wearing makeup. So one of the appearance tips on how to attract a man physically is to wear “no-makeup” makeup.
The important choice to make about your hair is to make sure it suits you. Take your time to find a flattering hairstyle and color and maintain it.
Clothes matter because they’re always an expression of who you are. They make a statement even if you only dress to stay warm and modest.
Have a personal style that sends a message you want to send. Accentuate what you love about your looks, but don’t wear clothes just because they suit you. Flattering clothes you like and feel attractive in are your best choice.
Some guys will be attracted to your style and what it conveys, others won’t care and there are those who won’t like it. Some guys like women in heels, others prefer sneakers. You don’t have to change your style to appeal to a guy because a new dress won’t make you compatible.
Your posture has a significant impact on how you’re perceived. Stand and sit straight and don’t slouch if you want to appear confident and attractive.
3. Body language
Body language can be used unconsciously or deliberately to communicate without words. It tells other people how you feel about yourself and them.
To be more attractive, you can learn to change the impression you leave through your body language, and use it to signal your interest directly.
• Become more attractive
If you want to have a more attractive body language, the best way to start learning is to make it more mindful and deliberate. Even if you’re not a naturally graceful person, slowing down can help you become one.
Speak and move slower using smaller gestures to have more sensual and inviting body language. Being relaxed instead of hyperactive makes people feel more comfortable around you.
Don’t fake body language, but be mindful of certain habits you dislike.
Most importantly, your body language and facial expressions should match. If your face is calm and your knee is bouncing, it’s a sign that you’re pretending to be relaxed.
When the way you’re acting matches what’s on the inside, it shows that you’re authentic. Be honest about your feelings.
• Display interest
Flirty body language can be used to create rapport and build tension.
Eye contact is one of the most important tools you have. It increases oxytocin, the “love hormone,” so it makes you feel more attracted to each other but make sure not to stare. Let your eyes meet for a few seconds, look away and repeat.
Open body language shows that you welcome his advances. Don’t cross your arms – instead, show your palms and wrists.
Get close and don’t be afraid to breach personal space. Lean towards him to show that you’re engaged and interested.
Lightly touch him, for example, on the arm. Touch releases dopamine and makes you feel pleasure. If his body language remains relaxed and open after you do it, it shows that he’s open to being touched. If he shrinks back or pulls away, he’s not, so you should back off. If he’s interested, he’ll reciprocate.
Mirror him – subtly copy his body language. We subconsciously mirror people we like, and doing it deliberately emulates that.
Be subtle when you’re being extra flirty. Lower your chin and look up at him coyly, but don’t do anything as obvious as twirl your hair. Let your eyes drop to his mouth, but don’t lick your lips.
One of the most attractive things about a potential romantic partner is interest. If you like a guy and let him know that, chances are that he’ll like you back.
• Be approachable and let him know that you’re interested and available. Be clear about your availability because your willingness might not be as obvious as you might think.
• Don’t be unattainable. Playing hard-to-get can be fun for a short while, but if you don’t reveal your attraction and drag things out too long, he’ll lose interest.
• Don’t seem closed off or uninterested. Make him less afraid to make a move by giving him a chance to approach you to talk to you.
• Show him that it’s okay to approach you and that you want to connect, talk or start a relationship.
• Be genuinely interested and let him know you are. Ask questions about him, but don’t interrogate him. Show him you care about his ideas and thoughts. Don’t fake interest. Listen closely and pay attention.
• Don’t wait for him to do all the work. Approach him if you feel like it. It might be the first time it has happened to him, so he’ll appreciate it.
• On the other hand, you don’t have to do everything. Let him make an effort.
• Let him know you like being around him and show him appreciation.
The final and crucial aspect of attraction is the way you act.
Good looks mean nothing if he doesn’t feel good in your company. Be genuine and don’t fake anything, but make sure to behave in a way that will make him see what you have to offer.
Here are the basics of attractive behavior.
• Be easygoing, gentle and kind. Have a positive attitude and approach him with sincerity.
• Make him feel safe and comfortable. Keep an open mind and don’t judge. Try to see his point of view.
• Enjoy his company and make sure he enjoys yours. People like people who make them feel good about themselves.
• Start with a friendly conversation. Be interested in what he has to say. Let him talk about himself and listen.
• Don’t dominate the conversation.
• Don’t be loud. Speaking at a high volume isn’t just obnoxious, but it also puts a distance between you. Speak more softly, so you have to get closer to him.
• Don’t make him uncomfortable with intrusive questions, controversial comments or difficult topics.
• Talk about your interests and fun topics at first and don’t open up too soon.
• Don’t overshare. You can’t speed up a connection with someone by dropping more information than he needs to know. Instead, keep some things private and, if he asks, let him know that it’s too soon to tell him some things.
• Don’t volunteer information unless you really want him to know something. It’s not necessary to be mysterious, but make a judgment call when something is TMI.
• Be playful and relaxed. Have fun and enjoy positive energy. Don’t be rigid, serious or grim.
• Be warm instead of playing it cool. Don’t pretend to be above-it-all because that’s the first sign that you’re not authentic.
• Don’t be needy and do something just to get an emotional reaction. Instead, do things because you sincerely want to do them.
• Don’t pretend to be less or more intelligent than you are. Don’t preach or be a know-it-all.
• Laugh at his jokes. Men believe a woman has a sense of humor if she finds him funny.
• Don’t get mad if he teases you. Instead, laugh at yourself to show confidence. Playfully tease him back, but don’t be cruel or mean.
• Show him what’s unique about you, but don’t brag or be arrogant.
• Make him feel attractive. Give him a genuine compliment.
• Show him you appreciate him. Thank him if he does something for you.
• Show him you value him by pointing out something you like about him. Don’t point out his flaws.
• Don’t gossip or reveal other people’s secrets. It makes you seem mean and unreliable.
• Don’t lie, embellish your stories or try to impress him. It can cause problems if you’re in a relationship together later on.
• Be polite. Don’t be rude, pushy or try to force anything.
• Even if you don’t agree on everything, talk about things lightheartedly early on.
• Don’t pick a fight to prove a point.
• Show vulnerability when you’re ready and you feel he’s earned to see it. Work on building an emotional connection.
• Don’t rush to move things along. Enjoy the ride.
• Don’t try to change yourself to make him like you. It won’t work.
• Don’t share everything at once. To keep a man’s attention, leave him wanting more.
• As you spend time together, you should assess him too. If it seems like he isn’t what you thought he would be, move on before getting involved.
When I told you that you’d only need five things to learn how to attract a man physically, I meant it. Maybe it seems like I gave you much more relationship advice than that, but it really comes down to these five things. The rest is just optional tips which can help you move in the right direction.
Love yourself and don’t doubt that you’re attractive. Take care of yourself. Use your body language to maximize the attraction. Show him that you’re available. Make him feel good in your company.
Becoming confident might take a while or maybe figuring out how to stop being shy when talking to guys can be a challenge, but you don’t have to be perfect from the start.
As long as you believe that you’re an attractive person and you approach dating with sincerity, things will work out. RELATED: 10 Non-Sexual Things Women Do That Men Find Sexy