Don’t let anyone steal your joy! Easier said than done, right?
You’ve promised yourself many times you won’t let your toxic family member, bossy co-worker, or partner ruin your mood. But they did, again. Why are you so emotional about everything?
You are just like the rest of us. We’re humans, and humans get hurt.
However, there are things we can do to protect ourselves from negative people and reduce or completely eliminate their impact on us.
It is true that happiness is inside of us and is not caused by any external factors. Thus, it cannot be taken away from us by anyone or anything.
Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Joy: 7 Things To Keep In Mind
Don’t let anyone steal your joy is great advice, but how to put it into practice?
We’ll go through simple yet effective steps you can take right this moment to protect your peace of mind and stay happy in every situation.
1. Nobody owes us anything
It sounds harsh at first, but believe me, this is a lifesaver!
Nobody owes us anything. It’s that simple. Nobody is under any obligation to make us happy.
We often rely on other people for love, support, and validation. It’s understandable since we are social beings and need each other to survive. But we must keep in mind that we first need ourselves.
Being loved and supported is great and sure brings joy, but it should not be something we expect all the time.
Life can put us in situations where we lose support, people reject us, or we lose people we love. At that moment, we see that we only have ourselves.
People come and go. When they give us love, it’s great, but even when they don’t, we still have all the love we need inside us. Self-love is the only type of love that is really unconditional and everlasting.
2. People give what they have
We often link other people’s actions with ourselves. When someone is rude or aggressive or treats us in a way we don’t want to be treated, we assume that it has something to do with us.
When people say mean things, we get offended, and it hurts our egos.
Their behavior shows how they feel about themselves. Toxic people are usually very unhappy and have trouble managing their own emotions. We suffer because we think they are doing something to us, that we provoked their actions.
But the truth is that everybody gives what they have. You can be the kindest, most amazing person out there, and you will still encounter people who will be rude to you. It’s because they are not rude TO you.
Don’t let anyone steal your joy with their mean comments and actions. It has nothing to do with you and all to do with how they feel inside.
3. Comparison doesn’t make sense
It’s very easy to fall into the comparison trap nowadays. Social media bombs us with information about other people we wouldn’t otherwise know existed.
We know all about other people’s achievements, success, and things they have. Or, we think we know.
Regardless of the success you have achieved, when you open your Instagram, in a minute, you’ll see people who have it better than you. They look better, make more money, and are more successful.
Suddenly, everything you’ve achieved seems so small and insignificant. Your self-esteem is ruined.
But social media is not real life. Influencers create an illusion of perfection and a luxurious life just to get more followers (more followers equals more money).
Comparing yourself to anyone else based on what you see on social media doesn’t make sense. Remember, nobody will post about their struggles and downfalls, but it doesn’t mean they don’t experience them.
Be careful who you follow on social media and what content you consume. It affects your mental health and sense of contentment.
Don’t let anyone steal your joy just because they have an amazing Instagram profile. Real-life is something else.
4. People don’t actually judge us
(Or at least not so much.)
We are afraid of judgment. It is all perfectly normal. We want to be accepted by society – it’s in our human nature. Acceptance means higher chances for survival.
We often think that people are watching us, evaluating and judging, while in reality, they don’t even know we exist.
The thing is, everyone is pretty much focused on their own survival. And everybody has the same fear of being judged. We think we are being watched, but the people we assume are watching us are actually in their own heads with the same fears we have.
You see the paradox here?
A lot of people fear their haters, but in reality, nobody hates them. Actually, they don’t think about them at all.
People don’t care about what we do. When we get rid of this idea that all eyes are on us, we will become free.
5. We are not responsible for other people
One of the biggest joy killers is the feeling of guilt. We often feel guilty or responsible for other people and their happiness.
It often starts in our childhood when parents teach us that how we behave will dictate their happiness. You have probably heard many times, “If you love me, you will do well in school.”
We learn that the actions we take and the choices we make affect the people around us. It is true to a certain degree. For example, if you do something bad and end up in jail, your family will suffer because of it.
But it doesn’t mean that we have the responsibility to make choices that will make others happy. You should not go to med school just because your parents will be happy if you do.
The only responsibility we have is to have a meaningful and fulfilled life and to make ourselves happy. And when you are happy, you will inspire others to be happy as well.
6. We have plenty to be grateful for
The never-ending chasing after more money, a better life, more success, and happier relationships is consuming us. We always think about the future and rarely take a moment to appreciate what we have right now.
And if we don’t value and appreciate things we already have, we will never be happy. No matter how much we achieve, we will always want more.
That’s why it’s of great importance to practice gratitude. I’m sure that you could name at least 20 things you are grateful for at this very moment. Just start writing them down, and you will be surprised.
Be grateful for everything you have and everything you are, for all life lessons.
Recognizing all the blessings you have in your life will fill you with immense happiness and joy.
Here’s one of my favorite joy quotes by Marianne Williamson:
“Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”
Being grateful is a key step for personal growth. Being grateful opens us up to receiving abundance into our lives and attracts more happiness.
7. This moment is precious
Another thing that is very important is practicing mindfulness. Being present right now and right here, in this very moment, is one of the keys to happiness.
As one of the most famous quotes says:
“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” – J. Krishnamurti
We are often anxious or stressed about the future, depressed and sad because of the past, and we forget about the only thing that is important: the present moment.
What happened, we cannot change, and what will happen, we don’t know. We only have this moment now.
You can start practicing mindfulness right this moment. Look around you, observe your surroundings. Pay attention to details, shapes, colors, and smells. Engage all of your senses, feel the world around you.
You will notice when you do that, the anxiety goes away. We cannot be anxious if we are in the present moment.
How Do You Stop Someone From Stealing Your Joy?
By simply switching the perspective from “they can steal my joy” to “my joy is just mine and cannot be stolen.”
In the previous section, we went through all the key things to keep in mind so we always remain happy. We learned about the importance of being grateful, being in the present moment, and understanding that other people’s behavior has nothing to do with us.
So the next time someone tries to steal your joy, ask yourself, “Are they stealing my joy, or am I letting them have it?”
We can do so much by just changing our perspective.
However, sometimes it’s not enough just to become mindful. If you come across people that are really toxic and making you stressed, don’t hesitate to distance yourself from them.
Even if they are your close family members or friends, keep in mind that your mental health is your priority. It’s called self-care (self-care is not only face masks and healthy smoothies).
Happiness is not hard to achieve. It depends on where we search for it. If we search for happiness in people and things around us, we will always be far from it.
If we turn our focus inwards and search for happiness and joy within ourselves, we will find it.
That’s our most important and also toughest life lesson, to understand that we create our own happiness.
Of course, there is no harm in reading a few inspirational quotes to keep you inspired.
Don’t let anyone steal your joy!