Getting rid of toxic people without much hassle sounds impossible. They drain your energy to the point where you have no strength left to fight them.
Aside from this, if you’ve ever dealt with someone toxic, you know how stubborn they are. You cannot use indirect ways to tell them to leave you alone.
That is why you need to aim straight for the head. You literally have to tell someone to move out of your life, which has never been an easy thing to do.
Well, it’s all part of history from now on. Here is a detailed guide on how to cut off anyone toxic in the most classy way possible.
What are the signs of a toxic person?
People don’t show their toxic traits right away. Instead, they pretend to be someone they’re not until they get under your skin.
After a while, you start noticing little things that later become huge. They begin giving you backhanded compliments or always find the negative in everything.
As time goes by, you start noticing more and more signs of their toxicity. Here are the most common symptoms:
- Manipulative behavior
- Desire to control
- Not respecting boundaries
- Passive aggression
- Lack of accountability
- Different forms of abuse
- Energy draining
What happens when you cut off a toxic person?
You’re not losing anything when you finally get rid of someone toxic. On the contrary, you regain control over your life.
At first, you’ll probably miss them, but as time goes by, you’ll feel relieved without them.
Eventually, you’ll learn from this experience. It teaches you to recognize people who are not good for you. Most importantly, you learn never to settle for less than you deserve.
Basically, at the end of the day, you become better and stronger.
10 Elegant Ways To Get Rid Of Toxic People
Before you do anything about getting rid of poisonous and negative people in your life, you first have to identify them. Even though you’re aware of all the signs of a toxic person, this can be quite hard.
Come on, who’d be happy admitting that their life partner, best friend, a close family member, or even coworker is a toxic individual? Sometimes, all the clues are right in front of your nose, but you just can’t admit the truth.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but you can’t actually cut toxic people out of your life until you are honest with yourself about their toxic behavior. For some people, it takes years to admit that their loved one is poisonous.
But once you finally achieve this, half of the job is already done. You’ve recognized the symptoms, and now you’re finally ready to treat the disease!
2. Do it before it becomes contagious
Let me reveal a little secret: toxicity is contagious. If your close family member or a romantic partner is poisonous, and you don’t see it in time, you’ll likely start imitating their behavior.
How does it happen?
You won’t do it on purpose – of course. But at some point, you’ll accept that you’ll never have a healthy relationship with them.
You know the drill: you’ve tried talking to them about their actions, you’ve tried being nice, you’ve tried helping them change. Nevertheless, nothing worked.
At the same time, you still don’t have the strength to cut them off. So, what other choice do you have but to give them a taste of their own medicine?
You start paying them back for all the bad things they did to you. Before you know it, you become just like them.
But does it stop there? No. Without realizing it, you’ve adopted these toxic behavior patterns as if it’s normal, and you’ve begun acting the same way to other people as well.
Voila, you’ve caught the virus!
What I’m trying to tell you here is that you don’t have much time. You have to learn how to deal with toxic people before you become one of them.
3. Get ready for a tough battle
I’m warning you: Getting rid of toxic people is probably one of the hardest things you’ll have to do in your life. They won’t go away just because you politely ask them to. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be toxic, would they?
If you want to throw a toxic person out of your life, get ready for a tough battle. You won’t be done with them overnight. This is a process that will take up a lot of your time and energy.
You’ll have a hard time cutting them off because they are like leeches. They don’t think of your well-being and won’t let go, as much as you beg them to.
They find a victim and stay close so they can suck all the energy out.
But this doesn’t mean it can’t be done. If you’re persistent in your decision, I promise that you’ll make it.
4. A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect
Basically, you have to decide what you’re willing to tolerate and what your deal breakers are. Not only that: making sure all the toxic individuals in your surroundings know this is even more important.
Let’s take this as an example. You can’t stand listening to your toxic coworker complain all the time.
You see that they’re full of negativity, and you’ve realized that they drain all of your energy. But you keep spending your lunch breaks with them anyhow.
Why? Because you’re too ashamed to tell them that you’ve had enough of their negative outlook on life.
Well, that has to change. Setting boundaries means learning how to say “no.”
It won’t be easy in the beginning, but hey, practice makes perfect.
You’re not selfish – you’re taking care of your mental health
Let’s make one thing clear: you’re not selfish for doing this. It doesn’t matter who this toxic person we’re talking about is – if you ask them to respect your boundaries, you’re only protecting yourself.
And that’s exactly what you should do.
Remember: it’s not your responsibility to put up with people who make you feel bad. You’re not the one who has to help them with their mental health issues, and you certainly shouldn’t endure their emotional abuse.
5. What you allow is what will continue
You have to be aware of one thing: people treat you the way you let them. No, I’m not saying that you’re responsible for the emotional abuse you’re going through.
But if you don’t react properly the first time a toxic person does you harm, you give them the green light to continue doing so. Actually, you belittle yourself more and more every time you give them space to keep on hurting you.
The point is that you’re the one who has to stop this madness. You don’t expect them to suddenly realize they’re toxic and leave you alone or change their ways, do you?
This is the type of people who will keep on breaking you as long as you allow them to. That is exactly why you must cut all ties with them.
And you must do it now. Because as long as you allow this treatment, it will continue. You can’t keep on making the same mistakes and expect a different result.
6. The price of being too nice is too high
Your heart is warm, you’re selfless, and you think about other people’s wellness.
But we live in a harsh, harsh world. And the bitter truth is that being too nice won’t get you anywhere.
Sadly, there are bad people out there. People who see you as prey and who want to become a part of your life just so they can use you.
They see your kindness as fruitful soil for their toxic ways. They see you as a rug they can walk all over whenever and however they want.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m not telling you to become this evil person who has no scruples. Actually, we’ve already talked about ways to avoid becoming toxic as well.
But don’t be too nice either. Do your best to find a balance.
Don’t hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it but learn how to stand up for yourself. Keep choosing kindness, but don’t let anyone treat you like a fool.
7. Accepting instead of expecting
The number one mistake that prevents you from cutting toxic people out of your life is believing that things will get better. One of these days, they’ll realize how much pain they’re causing you, and they’ll change.
Newsflash: it will never happen. And you have no other choice but to accept things as they are. The harsh reality is that your relationship with these type of people will never function.
Or you can keep expecting a miracle to come knocking on your door. You can always choose to live a lie and waste your life on someone who’ll never treat you the way you deserve. It’s all up to you.
You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved
Please, be aware that poisonous people usually need professional help to overcome their issues. You’re not a mental health professional, and you can’t make them change their ways.
The bottom line is that you can’t save them – especially if they don’t want to be saved.
So please, spare yourself a lot of trouble and anxiety and don’t even bother trying. I guarantee you: you won’t succeed.
8. If you don’t put yourself first, neither will they
You’re only responsible for your own life – nobody else’s. This means that you have to prioritize yourself over everyone else.
As long as you’re giving those who do you harm access to you, you’re showing them that you don’t love yourself. You clearly have some serious self-esteem problems because deep down, you think you don’t deserve better.
But worry not because that can be resolved.
First of all, you have to become aware of your own self-worth. Once you understand how valuable you are, you’ll see that you’re settling for less.
Trust me: you’re good enough, and there are people out there who’d kill to be in your presence. So, why do you waste your time on someone who doesn’t appreciate you at all?
If you’re wondering how to deal with toxic people in your life, the answer is pretty simple: start loving yourself more than you love them. But I didn’t say that actually doing it will be simple.
9. Grieving makes you human
Here is the problem: in most cases, you love the toxic person you’re trying to cut off. Sounds ironic, I know.
But your brain is telling you that you must save yourself while your heart still cares for them deeply. At the end of the day, you feel guilty for loving someone who’s done you so much harm.
Well, let me tell you that this isn’t anything unusual. Keep in mind that grieving your loss is perfectly okay, even if you’re losing someone who is hurting you.
Don’t expect to get over them in the blink of an eye. You’ll have to go through several grieving stages that will involve denial, anger, a lot of pain, tears, and nostalgia, among other things.
Nevertheless, please don’t let this discourage you. It’s all part of the process.
Find a support system
If you think that this is too much for you to handle, there is no shame in asking for help. For starters, you can ask your best friend or a coworker you trust to help you get through the crisis.
If that doesn’t help, go see a mental health professional. They’ll help you cope with your grief and will guide you along the road.
10. Accept an apology – deny the trust
Once your toxic person understands that you’re really leaving them this time, they’ll probably tell you everything you’ve been dying to hear.
They’ll even say they’re sorry for all of their wrongdoings and promise that they’ll change. Let me tell you right away: they won’t.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t accept their apologies – you just shouldn’t give them a second chance to ruin you. Actually, that’s the only healthy way to leave the past where it belongs.
Nevertheless, there is a huge difference between forgiving and forgetting. The first one gives you peace while the other throws you back in hell.
Even when you forgive, keep your distance. Make it clear that you accept their apology but that you won’t be friends on social media, that you won’t answer their texts anymore, and that you won’t spend time together as if nothing has happened.
Getting Rid Of Toxic People Quotes
You might feel like a fool for letting a toxic person trick you. But trust me, you’re not alone.
1. “It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go.” – Daniell Koepke
2. “If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end, low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won.” – Lalah Delia
3. “Don’t let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out.” – Robert Tew
4. “You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around.” – Unknown
5. “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” – Deborah Reber
6. “My encouragement: delete the energy vampires from your life, clean out all complexity, build a team around you that frees you to fly, remove anything toxic, and cherish simplicity. Because that’s where genius lives.” – Robin S. Sharma
7. “Every day, you must unlearn the ways that hold you back. You must rid yourself of negativity, so you can learn to fly.” – Leon Brown
8. “Letting go of toxic people in your life is a big step in loving yourself.” – Hussein Nishah
9. “Keeping bad company is like being in a germ-infested area. You never know what you’ll catch.” – Frank Sonnenberg
10. “I have found the best way to deal with a toxic person is to not respond in any other way than a monotone voice and a businesslike manner.” – Jen Grice
To Wrap Up
Leaving a toxic relationship and getting the strength to finally let go of whatever makes you unhappy takes a lot of courage. It will force you to step out of your comfort zone and make some radical changes. It will help you live your life to the fullest.
But getting rid of toxic people and ending toxic relationships is imperative for your mental health. You have to stay away from anyone who does you harm and brings you negativity if you want to save yourself.
There will be days when you’ll feel like you can’t make it. Days when you’ll think that toxicity is an overly powerful force you’re unable to defeat.
However, I promise you that at the end of the day, you’ll succeed – if you follow these steps carefully.