It’s true that men can be real assholes when it comes to relationships, romances, and love life in general. They are perfectly capable of pretending how gentlemanly nice they are, only to fuck things up later on.
But, you know what they say: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” If you’ve had more than a few bad experiences with men, I’m sorry to admit it to you, but the problem might lie in you instead.
Now, I’m not saying that it is your fault because some men are genuine assholes. But, it is your fault that you didn’t protect your heart by establishing some essential rules that will keep you away from toxic men and manipulators.
So, if you’re really sick of getting screwed over by guys (which I surely am), consider starting to live by these 9 golden rules that will help you find a man that you deserve!
1. Always put yourself first
Remember that you’re the captain of your own ship and responsible for your own happiness. Remember that if you don’t fight for yourself, no one else will. Always put yourself first, no matter what!
Don’t wait for him to start treating you the way you deserve. Instead, always treat yourself the best you can. That will let him know that you will not tolerate him treating you any differently.
If you make yourself number one priority, your heart will be protected because he won’t be able to reach it so easily.
2. Don’t let him into your world so easily
The number one mistake that many women are guilty of is letting guys into their world so easily. Men live for challenges and it’s in their blood to fight for a woman they like.
And you can guess what happens when you give yourself and your heart so easily to a guy. Exactly!
He takes it for granted. He never makes you his priority because he knows that he didn’t have to fight so hard to win you, which, in a way, makes you a girl with low standards.
Don’t be that girl. Always keep your head and standards as high as possible because one day you will thank yourself for that.
See also: 8 Misunderstandings That Guys Have About Dating Girls With High Standards
3. Live in the moment
You’re probably confused by this one, but there’s a perfect reason why you should be reminded to live in the moment.
Many women, not long after they’ve entered a relationship, start fantasizing about the future with their partner.
Believe me, we women are so good at it that we can imagine ourselves already married with three kids and one on the way, living in a perfect house with flowers and shit – and all of it in only three seconds.
I think it’s not even necessary to mention what’ll happen when you realize that your guy is not even close to this imagination.
That is why you should always take one day at a time. Do not overthink! Live in the moment, seize the day, and repeat.
4. Don’t let him control the pace of your relationship
Imagine that you let a guy control how fast or slow your relationship moves. If you do that or have already done that, I’m sure that things didn’t end up peachy. That’s because guys want it all and they want it now.
They see you as the perfect candy that they need to have in order to meet happiness. They want to rip off your clothes, observe you, and keep doing it again and again.
And, guess what, you’re the one who needs to keep things in control if you don’t want to end up with a broken heart.
You’re the one who needs to control the pace of your relationship because it is your duty to protect yourself!
5. Pay attention to actions and actions ONLY
How many times have you listened to what a guy is saying to you without ever questioning his real intentions?
How many times have you forgotten to focus on his actions instead of only words coming out of his mouth?
Many women forget that when it comes to men, words become totally insignificant. The only thing you should pay attention to is his actions!
After all, what does it mean to you if he says that he loves you but never proves it to you in deeds?
It’s easy to give lip service, but only a few real men know that actions speak louder than words. And you should wait for such a man!
See also: Real Men Love You With The Realest Of Actions, Not The Fakest Words
6. Always listen to your gut
If you feel like something’s wrong in your relationship, then it probably is. Always remind yourself to listen to that small voice in your head telling you that something’s just not right.
Your gut is your best friend when it comes to relationships and you should never downplay its importance.
7. Change your habits
Let’s say that you go to a place where you keep on meeting douchebags, but instead of learning your lesson, you keep visiting that same place like nothing happened.
If you notice that your story is stuck on repeat, then you should definitely think about changing your habits.
Your choices and habits are closely connected to your happiness. You would be surprised how much you can benefit by only changing places or trivial things like your walking route, or something else that you’re doing on a daily basis.
8. Avoid “rebound” relationships
If you want to forget that one particular guy, forget about rebound relationships. No one has ever gotten over someone by entering into a new relationship (that’s, of course, if your feelings were genuine).
What you need to do is give yourself some time to heal and not rush anything.
I know it sounds a little cliché, but it’s true that time heals all wounds. It is the main cure for all types of breakups and conflicts. Don’t ever forget that!
9. Don’t make excuses for the guy
Do you know what’s worse than letting guys into your world so easily? It’s making excuses for those same guys who are acting like assholes.
Please, do yourself a favor and do not go out of your way to find a perfect excuse for his behavior every time he does something wrong to you.
Open your eyes and see the truth. Understand that if he’s been repeatedly acting like a douche towards you, it means he doesn’t deserve you and you shouldn’t waste a second longer on him, let alone make excuses to justify his behavior.
Remember that happiness is in your hands, so always play wisely!