3 tipi di uomini hanno relazioni: ecco perché gli uomini tradiscono
Infidelity can have a detrimental effect on a committed relationship. Not only is there a high chance that the relationship might end, but it also leaves the person who had been cheated on with a number of issues – from self-esteem and mental health problems to the practical issues of dealing with the aftermath.
Once a cheater betrays their partner’s trust, the relationship inevitably changes. Anche prima di essere scoperti, i giorni della loro relazione come un tempo sono contati. Alcune persone sono in grado di perdonare una relazione, ma questa lascia il segno in tutte le relazioni, indipendentemente dall'esito.
Between men and women, men are more likely to cheat on their long-term relationship partners. Here are the common reasons 3 types of men have affairs, as well as tips on recognizing the signs when it’s happening.
Quali sono i 3 tipi di uomini che hanno una relazione?
Tutti gli uomini tradiscono? Più precisamente, tutti gli uomini tradirebbero, se ne avessero l'opportunità?
Secondo un Indagine sociale generale e analisi dei dati demografici sull'infedeltà negli Stati Uniti, gli uomini sposati sono più probabile than married women to cheat, but the gap isn’t as wide as you’d think: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they’d had extramarital affairs.
Even assuming that some men lied and didn’t admit to unfaithfulness in the above-mentioned survey, it still doesn’t mean that all men cheat.
In realtà, solo 3 tipi di uomini hanno relazioni: uomini che si sentono non amati e che hanno paura di lasciare le loro mogli, narcisisti e uomini immaturi che vogliono avere entrambe le cose.
Things are more complex than that, of course, so let’s take a closer look at these 3 types of men who have affairs.
1. Il codardo trascurato
Calling him a coward might be harsh, but it’s not as bad as him cheating on his wife. This type of cheater is usually a married man who has become disconnected from his wife but doesn’t have the courage to end the relationship or work on repairing it.
Things aren’t always black and white. A man in an unhappy relationship isn’t the only person to blame for the things that aren’t working.
Tuttavia, aveva problemi di intimità e ha scelto di affrontare i problemi della sua relazione tradendo il suo compagno quando altre soluzioni avrebbero potuto portare a risultati diversi.
Il problema di queste altre soluzioni, come affrontare il partner e comunicare apertamente, è molto più difficile. Richiede vulnerabilità emotiva e impegno. It’s far easier to start over and look for closeness elsewhere, potentially forcing the relationship to end.
Cosa succede qui? Queste sono le fasi che attraversa.
• Something is missing from his relationship and his marriage. La vita è andata avanti e lui e sua moglie si sono allontanati. La quantità di amore e di affetto che riceveva dalla moglie si è affievolita con il tempo.
• His wife isn’t who she used to be. She’s not as loving, as caring, or as sexy as she once was. She doesn’t give him the attention he needs. He feels like she no longer cares about his emotional and sexual needs or what’s going on with him.
• The mancanza di intimità emotiva e sessuale lo porta a provare risentimento nei confronti della moglie e a disilludersi sul suo matrimonio.
• He misses being desired. He wishes his wife would meet his needs, but he’s afraid to talk to her. Maybe she’s a nag or a bully, or she’s kind and sweet. Either way, he’s unhappy with her and fantastica su qualcun altro .
• He decides to turn to affairs to fulfill his needs. He’s looking for someone who seems interested in him as a person. He wants validation. He needs his ego stroked and for his sex life to become more exciting.
• The marriage is crumbling. Instead of communicating with his partner and working on his relationship or, if they can’t work out, ending things, he decides to cheat. When he’s caught, it’s over.
• It’s much easier to cheat to end his relationships instead of dealing with the issues directly. Even if they stay together, they won’t be the same married couple they were before he had an affair.
Questo tipo di comportamento equivale a rinunciare al matrimonio senza informare la moglie, con l'aggiunta di ferirla e tradire la sua fiducia.
2. Il narcisista opportunista
In poche parole, narcissists are people who are so selfish that they completely disregard other people’s importance. This doesn’t mean that they’re ignaro of other people’s needs and feelings, only that they’re completely irrelevant to them unless they can be used.
Una persona affetta da disturbo narcisistico di personalità si sente in diritto – to admiration and attention, to things and people – and he gets upset when he doesn’t get what he believes he deserves.
Manipolare e danneggiare gli altri gli viene naturale. He doesn’t think about the impact of his behavior on other people – because other people aren’t important.
This leads to behaviors that hurt his partner, and he doesn’t see what the problem is.
He’s capable of emotional compartmentalization and separates love from sex. In his case, separating love and sex doesn’t mean that he can have sex with people he doesn’t love, which isn’t a problematic behavior in itself – it’s that he considers sex completely inconsequential.
Come si applica all'imbroglio?
• He doesn’t consider sex a matter of consequence and doesn’t get why his partner would take his cheating to heart. He’s capable of having sex with anyone without feeling anything, not only about the person but also the repercussions.
For example, he wouldn’t understand why his one-night stand might hurt his primary relationship any more than simply having a conversation with another woman would. This doesn’t excuse him – he still knows it’s wrong, but he simply doesn’t care.
• Sex in the affair means nothing to him – it just happens. When he sees an opportunity, he takes it. If a woman is open to his sexual advances, he sees no reason he shouldn’t pursue an encounter or affair with her. It’s just sex, after all, and instead of being a big deal, it’s simply available.
Questo potrebbe anche portare alla dipendenza dal sesso.
• Because sex is such a casual thing per lui, sottovaluta quanto può ferire il partner con il suo comportamento. La sua mancanza di empatia per gli altri e il suo approccio distaccato e opportunistico al sesso possono portarlo a tradire con più partner.
When he’s involved in several affairs, he’s using the women he’s cheating with to meet his needs without considering theirs. Ha bisogno di continue attenzioni da parte delle donne e sceglie ciò che gli piace da ognuno di loro, creando un rapporto su misura.
• Even though he has no moral qualms Questo tipo di adultero è ancora consapevole del fatto che è sbagliato e che avrà determinate conseguenze. Non ha rimorsi, ma si eccita a comportarsi male.
He sees himself as a thrill-seeker, and the risk of getting caught makes him enjoy his affair even more. He likes it that he could get caught, but the fact that it’s a chance to screw up his whole life doesn’t matter to him.
3. The immature mama’s boy
This kind of cheater is in a relationship or marriage with someone he doesn’t see as a partner but as a caretaker. In a way, vede la moglie come la sua mamma e doesn’t have the maturity di lavorare sui suoi problemi.
Vuole avere entrambe le cose: una relazione stabile a casa con qualcuno che si prenda cura di lui e una relazione eccitante al di fuori del matrimonio. Per questo motivo, si comporta come un adolescente o, più precisamente, an immature mama’s boy .
• He says he’s in love with his wife, but he really likes the convenience and what he gets from her. He behaves like an adolescent: he’s looking for independence, but he still wants his “mom” (his wife) to take care of him at home.
He enjoys the sneaking around that comes with cheating – he sees it as rebelling against the rules that his mom-wife has imposed. Tutti gli sforzi e le trame necessarie per avere una relazione segreta gli danno il brivido di farla franca.
• To him, cheating is also a way of taking control. Because he sees his wife as someone responsible for him who does so much for him, making a decision without her feels like he’s in charge. He’s seeking validation and trying to increase his self-esteem by proving that he exists outside of his marriage.
• He doesn’t like his daily life. He might be married to a wife who makes him feel inadequate, or he simply sees her that way because he doesn’t like that she reacts when si comporta in modo immaturo.
• If il partner ha un basso desiderio sessuale or isn’t interested in sex come lui, potrebbe finire per provare una frustrazione sessuale che cerca di affrontare al di fuori del matrimonio. Invece di parlare con la moglie e cercare di risolvere il problema, decide di tradire.
• He’s another kind of cheater who compartmentalizes his sex life. He separates people into those he loves and those he has sex with, or more accurately, he thinks that there’s ‘wife sex’ and ‘lover sex,’ or believes that his moglie è per l'amore e la sua partner per il sesso.
He judges people by their sexual behavior, and he’s ashamed of some of his desires. Because he doesn’t want to be married to a woman who does certain things and behaves in a certain way, he’d never talk to his partner about his desires or ask her to fulfill them.
Questo porta a un sesso noioso e insoddisfacente con la moglie.. Se a ciò si aggiunge che vede la moglie ogni giorno in una varietà di contesti tutt'altro che sexy, la relazione con la sua partner sembra un pasto a tradimento durante una dieta.
The woman he’s cheating with seems like a glamorous, sexual being who wears lingerie and perfume and is willing to do that thing he’d never ask his wife to. Il sesso con lei è fantastico per la sua mancanza di inibizioni con l'aggiunta dell'aspetto della fantasia e della trasgressione.
Quali sono i segnali di allarme di un traditore?
Gli uomini che hanno relazioni mostrano molte bandiere rosse e segnali che possono essere facilmente trascurati. Sometimes the person who’s being cheated on subconsciously turns a blind eye and plays ignorant on purpose.
Keeping up with an affair isn’t simple – trying to keep it hidden means lots of acting, strategizing, and remembering to keep his story straight. Still, when you don’t want something to be true, it becomes easy to ignore the warning signs that he’s cheating.
When a man displays several of the following signs, there’s a chance that he’s engaging in an affair.
• Lack of interest in sex. If he’s suddenly less interested or not interested in sex with his wife at all, it can mean that he’s getting what he needs elsewhere.
• Different sexual behavior. When you do have sex, he does things he’s never done before, even if he’s not usually the experimental type.
• Suspicious phone use. Some examples are: hiding his phone, always keeping it on silent, not answering when you’re around, always texting, being unable to reach him on the phone at certain times, change in use of social media apps, and receiving calls he says are from the wrong number, etc.
• Suspicious computer use. Potrebbe nascondere l'uso del computer, spegnere il computer o ridurre a icona una finestra quando vi avvicinate, usare il computer a tarda notte mentre dormite, cancellare la cronologia del browser, smettere di usare i dispositivi condivisi ecc.
• Sudden interest in his appearance. Se inizia a vestirsi meglio, a indossare l'acqua di colonia, a farsi un nuovo taglio di capelli, a fare ginnastica o a seguire una dieta, potrebbe essere a warning sign that he’s cheating on you e vuole apparire migliore per il suo partner.
• Works longer hours, ma quando gli si chiede come vanno le cose al lavoro, ha solo risposte vaghe.
• Starts going out with friends. If he says that he’s meeting friends more often than he used to, he might not be meeting them at all.
• Suddenly can’t account for his time. He might pick up new hobbies or interests that require his time but doesn’t want to talk about it.
• Suspicious money issues. He suddenly spends more money but doesn’t talk about it, or he stops making plans that would require you to spend a higher amount of money, such as going on vacation together.
• You stop doing things together. You don’t hang out, visit other people together, or spend time with family. You feel like he avoids you.
• You know he lies to you. He obviously lies or acts secretive. He’s anxious when you ask him questions.
• He behaves oddly. Something is off in his behavior. He’s negative, defensive, distant, and critical. He picks fights and has mood swings.
• Gaslighting. He gets angry if you ask him about cheating. He tells you you’re imagining things, or he accuses you of cheating.
• Your gut feeling says he’s cheating. Even if you don’t acknowledge the things you’ve noticed out loud, if you pick up suspicious changes in his everyday behavior, your intuition will tell you that something is going on. Trust your instincts.
Perché i ragazzi tradiscono anche se ti amano?
L'unica vera risposta è perché hanno scelto di farlo.
Ci possono essere un milione di scuse per il tradimento, un milione di modi per giustificare il fatto che era l'unica cosa che poteva fare, ma nessuna di queste è la vera ragione. Ci sono molte cause di fondo che possono portare al tradimento, ma alla fine, le persone imbrogliano perché scelgono di farlo.
He might claim that he’s not built for monogamy, that he has mental issues that caused it, or it was in the heat of the moment. Yes, there’s always a problem with the relationship or a problem with the person that leads to cheating, but il motivo per cui gli uomini hanno delle relazioni è semplice: perché decidono di imbrogliare e lo fanno.
Il fatto è che most men don’t stop cheating because they feel guilty or because they don’t want to be that person anymore but because they get caught vi dice tutto quello che c'è da sapere su ciò che gli uomini che hanno una relazione pensano davvero del tradimento.
Men who don’t cheat are men who have chosen not to cheat. Instead, they deal with the problems that cheaters claim are what lead them to having affairs in emotionally mature and productive ways that don’t cause their wives pain.
Quali sono i diversi tipi di affari?
Esistono diversi tipi di relazioni perché le persone cercano cose diverse al di fuori delle loro relazioni primarie. There are things that some people don’t even consider cheating, while they can cause heartbreak in others. Ecco alcuni esempi di tipi di imbroglio che le persone intraprendono.
1. La relazione emotiva
Una relazione emotiva non ha un'intimità sessuale, ma implica un legame emotivo con un'altra persona. Può svilupparsi tra colleghi, amici o conoscenti e, col tempo, può creare danni duraturi alla relazione con il partner tradito.
At first, it can be justified as being ‘just friends,’ but the emotional intimacy involved in this kind of relationship often oversteps the boundaries of friendship. When he’s closer and more fond of his ‘just friend’ than his wife, conta come imbroglio , and it can’t be denied that it’s an affair.
2. La relazione romantica
Una relazione romantica può nascere da una relazione sentimentale o perché un uomo intraprende una relazione romantica e sessuale con un'altra donna. It’s a love affair that would be considered normal if he didn’t have a wife who he is knowingly hurting by being in another relationship.
He can try to justify it by blaming it on the magic of falling in love or claiming that his wife doesn’t understand him as much as the other woman. This type of affair often lasts for a long time and can be on and off.
3. La relazione sessuale occasionale
Una relazione puramente sessuale, come un'avventura o un'avventura di una notte, raramente avviene una volta sola. Un uomo che tradisce la moglie in questo modo spesso sviluppa un modello di comportamento e continua a impegnarsi in questo tipo di relazione.
In molti casi, non ci sono problemi nel suo matrimonio, ma il motivo per cui si dedica al sesso extraconiugale è che ha un'opportunità e la sfrutta. A volte si pente di queste relazioni e cerca di smettere, ma alla fine ci ritorna.
4. The ‘mistress’ affair
Questa è la relazione quando un uomo vuole sia rimanere sposato che continuare la sua relazione per molto tempo. Quando un uomo vuole essere rapporti con la moglie e con il partner della relazione, he’ll jump through hoops to keep his affair hidden.
Vuole tutti i vantaggi che entrambe le relazioni offrono. His affair partner doesn’t understand that he’s using her . She often believes that he’ll eventually leave his wife, but if forced to choose, he’ll stay with his wife.
5. The ‘make a point’ affair
Questo è il tipo di relazione in cui il traditore vuole ottenere qualcosa avendo una relazione. Uno dei motivi potrebbe essere quello di vendicarsi della moglie che lo ha tradito.
Another situation is if he’s trying to get caught and cause the end of his marriage. If he doesn’t have the courage to leave his wife, he might get her to leave him by cheating on her and making it easy for her to find out.
It’s All About Choices
Men cheat more than women, but it’s not true that every man would cheat on his wife if there were no consequences. Usually, it all comes down to the ability and maturity to deal with problems in a way that isn’t hurtful to his partner.
Il tradimento dice molto di una persona. Di solito, 3 tipi di uomini hanno relazioni: tutti e tre sono incapaci di affrontare i problemi relazionali, quindi ricorrono al tradimento come modo per soddisfare i propri bisogni.
Still, relationships aren’t simple, and the problems are rarely only one person’s fault. The blame for cheating, however, lies only on the person who chose to do it.
