Guida completa: Come rispondere a un ex che chiede come stai

Relationships come to an end, and it can be difficult to move on. So what do you do when, after you’ve finally managed to move on, they hit you up with what seems to be an innocuous text? Or even worse, if your ex contacts you while you’re still not over them?

Come rispondere a un ex che vi chiede come state e se dovete preoccuparvi di farlo? Per trovare la risposta a questa domanda, dovete analizzare bene alcuni aspetti di voi stessi e del vostro rapporto con il vostro ex e Pensate bene a ciò che volete veramente.

Here’s how to do it step-by-step.

Come rispondere a un ex che chiede come stai

Quando si tratta di relazioni, le cose si complicano prima di rendersene conto. La scelta di come rispondere a un ex che vi chiede come state è una di queste cose complicate. There isn’t really one correct answer to this dilemma because it depends on many factors, such as:

1. Prima di decidere se rispondere o meno, è necessario ricordare che perché vi siete lasciati.

2. Considerate poi il vostro stato emotivo. Come vi sentite in questo momento nei confronti del vostro ex ragazzo o della vostra ex ragazza? Li avete dimenticati? Provi ancora qualcosa per loro?

3. Poi, pensate a come volete che sia il vostro rapporto con il vostro ex. Fare volete tornare insieme? Il motivo per cui vi siete lasciati esiste ancora? Cosa potrebbe cercare il vostro ex?

If the answers to all of these questions boil down to the fact that you’re over your ex and want to get on with your life, there’s a great way to respond: don’t ignore the text, but treat it like it’s not a big deal. Text back and mention something casual you’ve done recently and ask them how they are.

Risposte casuali

When your ex asks, “How are you?” you can reply with something like one of these:

•“Work has been crazy, but I’m good. You?”

•“Good! Just came home from a run. What about you?“

•“About to go check out that new pizza place near my work. How are you?“

All of these responses show that you’re fine and that you’ve moved on, but that you’re not trying hard to let them know. Some people think that when you’re trying to seem too over your ex, it might come off as an act.

You don’t want to give your ex the satisfaction of thinking you’re still hung up on them. Instead, approach the text like you’re replying to a friend you’re not particularly close to. Basically, your ex isn’t very important in your life, but you’re polite enough to reply to a text.

Ora la palla è nel loro campo. Se la vostra rottura è stata amichevole e pensate davvero di poter essere amici in questo momento, la loro risposta potrebbe indicarvi il modo migliore per farlo.

That’s it for the short reply when you’re over your ex. On the other hand, keep reading if you’re considering getting back together or are simply in the mood to over-analyze their text.

Perché vi siete lasciati?

Alcuni motivi di rottura fanno più male di altri. A volte il dolore peggiore arriva quando ci si lascia a causa delle circostanze, anche se entrambi ci si ama ancora. Anche l'abbandono di una relazione violenta può essere doloroso a causa dei danni emotivi lasciati dall'abuso.

You never break up just because, so if you’re thinking about getting back together, there will be no good outcome if the reason for your breakup still exists.

Breakups that can’t be overcome.

• Your values are different.

If you couldn’t agree on certain big things, such as marriage, having kids, or money, there was never much chance of a long-term relationship.

Trovare un compromesso è quasi impossibile e sicuramente lascerà l'amaro in bocca a uno o a entrambi. Le convinzioni profonde raramente cambiano, quindi la rottura era probabilmente la scelta migliore.

• They did something you can’t forgive.

Some people are capable of forgiving things others aren’t. It’s okay if you can’t get over something your ex has done, such as tradirti. I vostri sentimenti sono validi e dovete accettarli senza sentirvi in colpa.

Trying to forgive and stay in a relationship when it’s impossible will result in nothing but resentment and unhappiness.

• The relationship was unhealthy

You shouldn’t even think about returning to a toxic or relazione abusiva. Una relazione tossica può avere i suoi momenti eccitanti, ma prima o poi crolla.

Cercare scuse per una relazione abusiva porterà solo ad altri abusi. It’s highly unlikely that someone abusive the first time around will change.

Even if they’ve been working on their behavior extensively, you should still avoid placing your mental and physical well-being in danger and proteggersi dagli abusi.

• You had given up on the relationship

Quando stavate insieme, avete semplicemente smesso di fare sforzi. You weren’t happy, and you weren’t trying to fix it. Your arguments weren’t didn’t solve any of your issues but only made you angry at each other.

Pensare di tornare a questo tipo di relazione sarebbe solo per abitudine, non perché si pensa che sarebbe bello.

Breakups where there’s still a chance.

• You weren’t ready to break up.

Ad esempio, se non eravate soddisfatti di qualcosa nella relazione e volevate cambiarla, potreste aver interpretato erroneamente che il vostro partner non fosse giusto per voi. You might have misunderstood each other’s intentions.

Sometimes, you’re just not in the right place mentally, and your breakup had nothing to do with the relationship.

• The reason for your breakup no longer exists.

Se il motivo per cui vi siete lasciati era fuori dal vostro controllo, potrebbe esserci ancora una possibilità di risolvere la situazione. You weren’t ready to end your relationship, and now the circumstances that led to it have changed or may be resolved.

For example, if you broke up because you were long-distance, and you live close now. Or you broke up because of something you don’t even remember anymore.

If you’re regretting breaking up, and the reason it happened was external, it might be possible to get your ex back.

• There’s no bad blood.

If you broke up without hurting each other, especially if there was no ‘dumper’ or ‘dumpee,’ a reconciliation might be possible. When the cause of your hurt was the end of your relationship and not the other person, there’s probably no resentment.

Going back to this kind of relationship is easy if there’s a willingness on both sides.

Volete tornare insieme?

Chiedetevi e date risposte sincere:

• How do you feel about your ex?

- Li ami ancora?

• Is there still a connection between the two of you?

• Are you still attracted to them?

• Do you trust them?

• Are you prepared to work on your relationship?

Se la risposta a queste domande è sì, pensate a cosa volete fare.

Un'altra cosa importante da tenere in considerazione prima di ogni altra cosa è assicurarsi che il vostro ex sia ancora single e che vi mostri segnali che indicano che vi vogliono ancora. If there’s already a new girl or a new guy in your ex’s life, you’re setting yourself up for heartache.

If you’ve already moved on and aren’t single, think about whether you really want to mess up the new relationship you have with your new partner.

Se volete tornare insieme

Take your time to think about your breakup and feelings before responding to your ex’s text. Don’t think, “My ex texted me. Let’s get back together.” Force of habit might make credete di volere ancora il vostro ex when you really don’t.

Riflettete bene prima di fare questo grande passo. When you’re calm and sure about what you want, send a casual text but show a willingness to talk. Una risposta semplice è la migliore, senza sentimenti intensi e spiegazioni.

So when your ex sends a text saying, “How are you?” you can reply with something that’s a variation of “I’m good, how about you?”

And then it’s their turn. Quello che volete ora è che il vostro ex mostri lo stesso tipo di desiderio di tornare insieme, ma anche la volontà di lavorare su qualunque sia il motivo della vostra rottura.

Se il vostro ex dice di volersi riconciliaree, chiedete loro cosa è cambiato rispetto a prima.

When your ex is in the same place as you, they’re not going to pretend not to know or play games. Il vostro obiettivo in questo momento è trovare un modo per tornare alla relazione e risolvere i problemi che l'hanno fatta fallire.

If they continue the conversation and you’re happy with it, arrange to meet up for coffee. Quando vi vedete, comunicate apertamente e discutete dei vostri sentimenti e problemi. Assicuratevi che il vostro ex vi voglia per le giuste ragioni e non per abitudine.

Tenete sotto controllo i vostri sentimenti e ricordate: la comunicazione onesta viene prima di tutto!

If You Don’t Want To Get Back Together

When you’ve been working on moving on by following the regola del divieto di contattoIl contatto con il vostro ex può rovinare tutto il vostro duro lavoro. For that reason, it’s best to block them everywhere from the moment you decide that you’re done with them.

Bloccate e cancellate il loro numero di telefono e bloccateli e non seguiteli sui social media. The less chance you have of getting in touch with them, the less chance you’ll do it in a moment of weakness.

So if you’re committed to getting over them, reply with something like, “I’m good, but I think it’s best if we both move on. Please don’t contact me anymore.” It’s going to feel great when you realize you really don’t care about them.

At this point, it’s best if you immediately block them without waiting to see if they’ll reply. By going no contact, you’re darsi la migliore possibilità di guarire senza la tentazione di messaggi o telefonate.

Those might lead to ideas of staying friends or becoming friends with benefits, but neither would work if you’re still hurting. Stay away until you have moved on in your new life, and even then, don’t think about trying to be best friends with your ex.

Why Would Your Ex Ask You How You’re Doing?

Quando il vostro ex vi contatta via messaggio, potreste esserne molto felici se volete tornare insieme, ma dovete fare attenzione.

A seconda di come è finita la vostra relazione, il vostro ex potrebbe non avere buone intenzioni. Anche se lo fanno, dovete comunque mettere al primo posto voi stessi e i vostri sentimenti.

• Your ex wants to get back together.

Solo perché Il tuo ex sente la tua mancanza doesn’t mean you have to talk to them. If you’re in a good place, healing from the breakup, and finally getting your love life back on track, a text message from an ex can cause chaos.

If you’re not interested in getting back together, especially if this person has hurt you, take the advice above and reply curtly, then block them. You don’t owe them anything or to listen to what they have to say if you’ve made your decision.

• Your ex wants to try being friends.

A seconda della vostra situazione emotiva, questo potrebbe essere possibile se entrambi lo volete. Maybe you broke up because even though you liked each other, a relationship between you just didn’t work.

If you’re not hurting and don’t have hopes of getting back together, if your feelings for them are no longer romantic, and both you and il tuo ex pensa che possiate essere amici, si può fare una prova.

Assicuratevi solo che entrambi abbiate chiari i vostri sentimenti, i vostri limiti e le vostre aspettative.

• Your ex wants to keep you on the hook.

Il vostro ex potrebbe contattarvi per assicurarsi di avere ancora potere su di voi. Vogliono vedere se un testo o una chiamata possono scuotervi e rendervi deboli alla loro influenza.. Your ex is only seeking validation and doesn’t actually care about your feelings.

Your ex is contacting you to see if you’re single or willing to have a casual relationship. They want to make sure you won’t stop thinking about them if they even want something from you.

They might be trying to keep the possibility of a hook-up open and are simply making sure they’re still desirable.

Don’t try to catch up with your ex if they show signs they’re trying to play games. Don’t succumb to “I miss you,” and don’t let them see that they’re affecting you. Bloccateli e andate avanti. It’s going to be hard, but it’s the only way to get on with your life.

Should You Respond At All If You’re Done With Your Ex?

Some people might think that even in this type of situation, it’s best to be polite and reply, but I think that when your feelings are at stake, you should always do what’s best for you.

If this person has hurt you, if your breakup was painful and difficult, if you’re still trying to move on, go ahead and ignore the message. You don’t owe them anything.

You know your ex best, and you’re the best judge of what they might be up to. Their reason for sending this text could be to hurt you more by showing you they’ve moved on or to look for confirmation that they could still have you if they wanted.

On the other hand, your ex might not be a bad person, and they could be genuinely interested in whether or not you’re okay.

This might be even worse if you’re in the processo di tentativo di rialzarsi. Someone who’s bad to you is easier to get over than a good person.

In ogni caso, a questo punto, il regola del divieto di contatto is the way to go. It’s the only effective way to keep your ex off your mind and let you get over them. In un secondo momento, si può pensare se si può andare o meno a essere amici del proprio ex and if they’re someone you want in your life.

Come reagire se si vuole essere meschini

If things ended badly, you might be tempted to reply to their message with an emotionally charged response and show that you’re still mad.

I would recommend against it, but I know that in times of heartbreak, it’s hard to keep a cool head, and sometimes you just want to push back.

Keep in mind that the effect this has on your ex might be the opposite of what you’re hoping for – instead of putting them down, your display of angry feelings might give them the satisfaction of knowing you’re still not over them.

It’s better if you bloccare e ignorareMa se volete davvero rispondere in questo modo, procedete con cautela.

• Leave them on seen.

This is a response in itself and has a particular power. It shows you saw their message but didn’t care enough to reply. Don’t go back on it after you’ve opened their text, though, and reply later.

Your ex might think that you needed time to think about what to say, which isn’t the result you want to achieve. If you want time to reply but don’t want them to know you’re thinking about it, read their message from the notification bar without opening it.

• Send a meme.

Ma fate in modo che sia una scelta. Look for something funny that shows you’re unbothered and living your best life without your ex. Find a meme that says they’re ridiculous for even trying to talk to you. You don’t have to rush to reply,

• Reply with a single emoji or make a hit combo

You can choose from the select petty emojis below, or if you’re an expert emoji user, pick the combination from your frequently used ones that best shows your feelings.

??‍????✌️?????????

• lol / ?? / ok?

This response might be especially appropriate if their text was something like, “‘sup” or “wyd?”

• Why?/None of your business/Is there a problem?

These sound a bit confrontational, so you might get a reaction if you send one. If that’s what you’re looking for, then this is what you want. Ricordate che la mossa più potente è quella di ignorare il prossimo messaggio inviato dal vostro ex.

• Already done with your rebound relationship?

You’re clearly showing that you still pay attention to them, that you know they’ve moved on, and that you’re mad about it with a response like this. If you’re trying to provoke them, it’s a great move, but to keep an upper hand, don’t engage at all when they reply.

• This is a nice surprise!/I’m great, thanks for asking! ❤️️

A response like this is clearly sarcastic and making fun of your ex. If they don’t get what you mean, they might get confused and try to go on with the conversation.

If you want to continue replying, keep your tone nice and sweet, and sit back and watch them try to figure out what’s going on.

Conclusione

Trying to figure out how to respond to an ex asking how you are is a challenge because it’s hard to think rationally when your feelings are in turmoil. It’s best to avoid responding to it right away. Datevi il tempo di pensare a come vi sentite e a cosa volete.

Ricordate i motivi per cui vi siete lasciati. Considerate il motivo per cui potrebbero contattarvi. Esaminate i vostri sentimenti e cercate di capire cosa volete.

Think about whether it’s worth the hassle even replying to your ex. Se decidete di farlo, mettete voi stessi e i vostri sentimenti al primo posto. There’s no place to worry about hurting your ex’s feelings when they’ve hurt you already.

Soprattutto, proteggete i vostri sentimenti.