Guía completa: Cómo responder a un ex que te pregunta cómo estás
Relationships come to an end, and it can be difficult to move on. So what do you do when, after you’ve finally managed to move on, they hit you up with what seems to be an innocuous text? Or even worse, if your ex contacts you while you’re still not over them?
¿Cómo responder a la pregunta de un ex sobre cómo estás? Para encontrar la respuesta a esta pregunta, tienes que analizar bien algunas cosas sobre ti y tu relación con tu ex y piensa detenidamente qué es lo que realmente quieres.
Here’s how to do it step-by-step.
Cómo responder a una pregunta de un ex sobre cómo estás
Cuando se trata de relaciones, las cosas se complican antes de que te des cuenta. Elegir cómo responder a un ex que te pregunta cómo estás es una de esas cosas complicadas. There isn’t really one correct answer to this dilemma because it depends on many factors, such as:
1. Antes de decidir si debe siquiera responder, debe empezar por recordar por qué rompisteis en primer lugar.
2. A continuación, considera tu estado emocional. ¿Qué sientes por tu ex novio o ex novia en este momento? ¿Lo has superado? ¿Sigues sintiendo algo por ellos?
3. Después, piensa en cómo quieres que sea tu relación con tu ex. Haz quieres que volvamos juntos? ¿Sigue existiendo la razón por la que rompisteis? ¿Qué podría estar buscando tu ex?
If the answers to all of these questions boil down to the fact that you’re over your ex and want to get on with your life, there’s a great way to respond: don’t ignore the text, but treat it like it’s not a big deal. Text back and mention something casual you’ve done recently and ask them how they are.
Respuestas casuales
When your ex asks, “How are you?” you can reply with something like one of these:
•“Work has been crazy, but I’m good. You?”
•“Good! Just came home from a run. What about you?“
•“About to go check out that new pizza place near my work. How are you?“
All of these responses show that you’re fine and that you’ve moved on, but that you’re not trying hard to let them know. Some people think that when you’re trying to seem too over your ex, it might come off as an act.
You don’t want to give your ex the satisfaction of thinking you’re still hung up on them. Instead, approach the text like you’re replying to a friend you’re not particularly close to. Basically, your ex isn’t very important in your life, but you’re polite enough to reply to a text.
Ahora la pelota está en su tejado. Si vuestra ruptura fue amistosa y crees que en este momento podríais ser amigos, su respuesta podría indicarte la mejor manera de hacerlo.
That’s it for the short reply when you’re over your ex. On the other hand, keep reading if you’re considering getting back together or are simply in the mood to over-analyze their text.
¿Por qué rompisteis?
Algunos motivos de ruptura duelen más que otros. A veces el peor dolor llega cuando rompéis por culpa de las circunstancias aunque los dos os sigáis queriendo. Incluso dejar una relación abusiva puede doler debido al daño emocional que deja el abuso.
You never break up just because, so if you’re thinking about getting back together, there will be no good outcome if the reason for your breakup still exists.
Breakups that can’t be overcome.
• Your values are different.
If you couldn’t agree on certain big things, such as marriage, having kids, or money, there was never much chance of a long-term relationship.
Llegar a un compromiso es casi imposible y está garantizado que uno de los dos se sentirá amargado. Las convicciones arraigadas rara vez cambian, así que una ruptura era probablemente la mejor opción.
• They did something you can’t forgive.
Some people are capable of forgiving things others aren’t. It’s okay if you can’t get over something your ex has done, such as engañándote. Tus sentimientos son válidos y debes aceptarlos sin sentirte culpable.
Trying to forgive and stay in a relationship when it’s impossible will result in nothing but resentment and unhappiness.
• The relationship was unhealthy
You shouldn’t even think about returning to a toxic or relación abusiva. Una relación tóxica puede tener sus momentos emocionantes, pero tarde o temprano se viene abajo.
Buscar excusas para una relación abusiva sólo dará lugar a más abusos. It’s highly unlikely that someone abusive the first time around will change.
Even if they’ve been working on their behavior extensively, you should still avoid placing your mental and physical well-being in danger and protéjase de los malos tratos.
• You had given up on the relationship
Cuando estabais juntos, simplemente dejasteis de esforzaros. You weren’t happy, and you weren’t trying to fix it. Your arguments weren’t didn’t solve any of your issues but only made you angry at each other.
Pensar en volver a este tipo de relación sería sólo por costumbre, no porque creas que sería bueno.
Breakups where there’s still a chance.
• You weren’t ready to break up.
Por ejemplo, si no estabas contenta con algo en la relación y querías cambiarlo, puede que lo interpretaras erróneamente como que tu pareja no era la adecuada para ti. You might have misunderstood each other’s intentions.
Sometimes, you’re just not in the right place mentally, and your breakup had nothing to do with the relationship.
• The reason for your breakup no longer exists.
Si la razón por la que rompisteis estaba fuera de tu control, aún puede haber una oportunidad de arreglar las cosas. You weren’t ready to end your relationship, and now the circumstances that led to it have changed or may be resolved.
For example, if you broke up because you were long-distance, and you live close now. Or you broke up because of something you don’t even remember anymore.
If you’re regretting breaking up, and the reason it happened was external, it might be possible to get your ex back.
• There’s no bad blood.
If you broke up without hurting each other, especially if there was no ‘dumper’ or ‘dumpee,’ a reconciliation might be possible. When the cause of your hurt was the end of your relationship and not the other person, there’s probably no resentment.
Going back to this kind of relationship is easy if there’s a willingness on both sides.
¿Queréis volver a estar juntos?
Pregúntese y responda con sinceridad:
• How do you feel about your ex?
• Is there still a connection between the two of you?
• Are you still attracted to them?
• Do you trust them?
• Are you prepared to work on your relationship?
Si la respuesta a estas preguntas es afirmativa, piensa qué quieres hacer.
Otra cosa importante a tener en cuenta antes de nada es asegurarte de que tu ex sigue soltero y que te muestra señales de que aún te quieren. If there’s already a new girl or a new guy in your ex’s life, you’re setting yourself up for heartache.
If you’ve already moved on and aren’t single, think about whether you really want to mess up the new relationship you have with your new partner.
Si quieres volver con él
Take your time to think about your breakup and feelings before responding to your ex’s text. Don’t think, “My ex texted me. Let’s get back together.” Force of habit might make crees que todavía quieres a tu ex when you really don’t.
Piénsatelo bien antes de dar este gran paso. When you’re calm and sure about what you want, send a casual text but show a willingness to talk. Lo mejor es una respuesta sencilla, sin sentimientos intensos ni explicaciones.
So when your ex sends a text saying, “How are you?” you can reply with something that’s a variation of “I’m good, how about you?”
And then it’s their turn. Lo que quieres ahora es que tu ex muestre el mismo tipo de deseo de volver a estar juntos, pero también la voluntad de trabajar en cualquiera que fuera el motivo de vuestra ruptura.
Si tu ex dice que quiere reconciliarsee, pregúnteles qué ha cambiado en comparación con antes.
When your ex is in the same place as you, they’re not going to pretend not to know or play games. Tu objetivo en este momento es encontrar la manera de volver a la relación y resolver los problemas que la hicieron fracasar en primer lugar.
If they continue the conversation and you’re happy with it, arrange to meet up for coffee. Cuando os veáis, comunicaos abiertamente y hablad de vuestros sentimientos y problemas. Asegúrate de que tu ex te quiere por las razones correctas y no por costumbre.
Controla tus sentimientos y recuerda: la comunicación sincera es lo primero.
If You Don’t Want To Get Back Together
When you’ve been working on moving on by following the norma de no contactoque tu ex se ponga en contacto puede arruinar todo tu duro trabajo. For that reason, it’s best to block them everywhere from the moment you decide that you’re done with them.
Bloquea y borra su número de teléfono y bloquéalos y deja de seguirlos en las redes sociales. The less chance you have of getting in touch with them, the less chance you’ll do it in a moment of weakness.
So if you’re committed to getting over them, reply with something like, “I’m good, but I think it’s best if we both move on. Please don’t contact me anymore.” It’s going to feel great when you realize you really don’t care about them.
At this point, it’s best if you immediately block them without waiting to see if they’ll reply. By going no contact, you’re darse la mejor oportunidad para curarse sin las tentaciones de los mensajes de texto o las llamadas telefónicas.
Those might lead to ideas of staying friends or becoming friends with benefits, but neither would work if you’re still hurting. Stay away until you have moved on in your new life, and even then, don’t think about trying to be best friends with your ex.
Why Would Your Ex Ask You How You’re Doing?
Cuando tu ex se pone en contacto contigo a través de un mensaje de texto, puede que te alegre mucho si quieres que volváis a estar juntos, pero debes tener cuidado.
Dependiendo de cómo haya terminado tu relación, puede que tu ex no tenga buenas intenciones. Aunque lo hagan, debes anteponerte a ti mismo y a tus sentimientos.
• Your ex wants to get back together.
Porque sí tu ex te echa de menos doesn’t mean you have to talk to them. If you’re in a good place, healing from the breakup, and finally getting your love life back on track, a text message from an ex can cause chaos.
If you’re not interested in getting back together, especially if this person has hurt you, take the advice above and reply curtly, then block them. You don’t owe them anything or to listen to what they have to say if you’ve made your decision.
• Your ex wants to try being friends.
Dependiendo de dónde estéis emocionalmente, esto podría ser posible si ambos lo deseáis. Maybe you broke up because even though you liked each other, a relationship between you just didn’t work.
If you’re not hurting and don’t have hopes of getting back together, if your feelings for them are no longer romantic, and both you and tu ex piensa que podeis ser amigospuedes intentarlo.
Asegúrate de que ambos tenéis claros vuestros sentimientos, límites y expectativas.
• Your ex wants to keep you on the hook.
Tu ex podría ponerse en contacto contigo para asegurarse de que sigue teniendo poder sobre ti. Quieren ver si un mensaje de texto o una llamada pueden sacudirte y hacerte débil a su influencia. Your ex is only seeking validation and doesn’t actually care about your feelings.
Your ex is contacting you to see if you’re single or willing to have a casual relationship. They want to make sure you won’t stop thinking about them if they even want something from you.
They might be trying to keep the possibility of a hook-up open and are simply making sure they’re still desirable.
Don’t try to catch up with your ex if they show signs they’re trying to play games. Don’t succumb to “I miss you,” and don’t let them see that they’re affecting you. Bloquéalos y sigue adelante. It’s going to be hard, but it’s the only way to get on with your life.
Should You Respond At All If You’re Done With Your Ex?
Some people might think that even in this type of situation, it’s best to be polite and reply, but I think that when your feelings are at stake, you should always do what’s best for you.
If this person has hurt you, if your breakup was painful and difficult, if you’re still trying to move on, go ahead and ignore the message. You don’t owe them anything.
You know your ex best, and you’re the best judge of what they might be up to. Their reason for sending this text could be to hurt you more by showing you they’ve moved on or to look for confirmation that they could still have you if they wanted.
On the other hand, your ex might not be a bad person, and they could be genuinely interested in whether or not you’re okay.
This might be even worse if you’re in the proceso de intentar levantarse. Someone who’s bad to you is easier to get over than a good person.
De cualquier manera, en este punto, el norma de no contacto is the way to go. It’s the only effective way to keep your ex off your mind and let you get over them. Más adelante, puede pensar si puede o no ir a ser amigo de tu ex and if they’re someone you want in your life.
Cómo responder si quieres ser mezquino
If things ended badly, you might be tempted to reply to their message with an emotionally charged response and show that you’re still mad.
I would recommend against it, but I know that in times of heartbreak, it’s hard to keep a cool head, and sometimes you just want to push back.
Keep in mind that the effect this has on your ex might be the opposite of what you’re hoping for – instead of putting them down, your display of angry feelings might give them the satisfaction of knowing you’re still not over them.
It’s better if you bloquear e ignorarpero si realmente quiere responder de esta manera, proceda con cautela.
• Leave them on seen.
This is a response in itself and has a particular power. It shows you saw their message but didn’t care enough to reply. Don’t go back on it after you’ve opened their text, though, and reply later.
Your ex might think that you needed time to think about what to say, which isn’t the result you want to achieve. If you want time to reply but don’t want them to know you’re thinking about it, read their message from the notification bar without opening it.
• Send a meme.
Pero que sea una elección. Look for something funny that shows you’re unbothered and living your best life without your ex. Find a meme that says they’re ridiculous for even trying to talk to you. You don’t have to rush to reply,
• Reply with a single emoji or make a hit combo
You can choose from the select petty emojis below, or if you’re an expert emoji user, pick the combination from your frequently used ones that best shows your feelings.
??????✌️?????????
• lol / ?? / ok?
This response might be especially appropriate if their text was something like, “‘sup” or “wyd?”
• Why?/None of your business/Is there a problem?
These sound a bit confrontational, so you might get a reaction if you send one. If that’s what you’re looking for, then this is what you want. Recuerda que el movimiento más poderoso es ignorar el siguiente mensaje que te envíe tu ex.
• Already done with your rebound relationship?
You’re clearly showing that you still pay attention to them, that you know they’ve moved on, and that you’re mad about it with a response like this. If you’re trying to provoke them, it’s a great move, but to keep an upper hand, don’t engage at all when they reply.
• This is a nice surprise!/I’m great, thanks for asking! ❤️️
A response like this is clearly sarcastic and making fun of your ex. If they don’t get what you mean, they might get confused and try to go on with the conversation.
If you want to continue replying, keep your tone nice and sweet, and sit back and watch them try to figure out what’s going on.
Conclusión
Trying to figure out how to respond to an ex asking how you are is a challenge because it’s hard to think rationally when your feelings are in turmoil. It’s best to avoid responding to it right away. Date tiempo para pensar en cómo te sientes y en lo que quieres.
Recuerda las razones por las que rompisteis. Piensa por qué se han puesto en contacto contigo. Examina tus sentimientos e intenta averiguar qué es lo que quieres.
Think about whether it’s worth the hassle even replying to your ex. Si decides hacerlo, ponte a ti mismo y a tus sentimientos en primer lugar. There’s no place to worry about hurting your ex’s feelings when they’ve hurt you already.
Sobre todo, protege tus sentimientos.
