Even though you might assume that calling him your boyfriend out of the blue will magically turn the guy you like into your better half, things in practice sadly don’t don’t often go that way.
Yes, we’d probably all like for our relationship to start as spontaneous as possible without the unnecessary fuss and awkwardness but sometimes that is just not possible.
You can send all the possible signs that you want to be his girlfriend or that you wish to label things between the two of you but some guys simply don’t take the hint, as much as you’d like them to.
The truth is that there are situations when you have to directly ask a man to be your romantic partner and ifif he would like to start a committed relationship with you.
Knowing this, the next thing you are are probably wonderingwondering is exactly how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend.
At first, this probably appears to be a mission impossible, especially to a girl who’s never made the first move but it’s actually a piece of cake and something you’llyou’ll wish you’dyou’d done sooner, no matter the outcome.
Fear not, because we’re here to explain to you in detail how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend the easiest and yet the best way possible, without looking desperate.
Just follow this effortless step by step guide on how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend and we can can assure you that every man you set your mind on will be yours in no time.
1. Get rid of any prejudicess
Despite all the changes which modern times have brought toto the dating scene, one thing has remained the same since forever: men have always been the ones making the first move.
That means that they are expected to approach the female but also to make the step toward bringing their relationship to the next level.
They are the ones to court us women and the ones to pop all the important questions, starting with if you want to be his girlfriend and eventually ending with a a proposal.
Well, if you are wondering how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend, first and foremost, you have to get rid of any prejudicess regarding the male or female roles in relationships or dating in general.
You must stop patiently waiting for thethe guy you are interested in to read your mind and magically know that you are ready to commit and to make your relationship official.
Another thing you should forget about is considering yourself lame and pathetic if you ask this question instead of waiting for him to do soso.
No, asking a guy if he wants to be your boyfriend doesn’t make you any less of a lady and it certainly doesn’t make him any less of a man.
The truth is that you should should demand equality in a romantic relationship and if this is the case, , then what’s the problem with taking over what has been traditionally considered to be a man’s role?
2. Figure out what you want
Before you figure out how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend, you need to know what you really want. What kind of relationship do you hope to get?
Are you ready to fully commit to a serious relationship?
Do you want a relationship for the sake of not being single or do you really want to be with this guy specifically?
Do you want him to be your boyfriend because you care for him and because you consider that things between you two have reached a point where you’re both ready to take your relationship to the next level or just to prove to yourself that you can have him?
What is it that you feel for this man? Is it love or lust?
Are your feelings temporary?
Naturally, him agreeing to your proposal isn’t a guarantee that the two of you will grow old together but you need to know if you can see yourself next to this man from this point of view.
You might think that all of these questions you should ask yourself are a bit too much and that you’d be thinking too much ahead of time if you analyzed each one of these aspects but trust me on this one—it is crucial for you to know where exactly you stand yourself before trying to figure out where the two of you stand as a couple.
3.Be honest with yourself
If you’re wondering how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend, firstly you have to come clean with yourself.
You can’t lie to yourself about the relationship between the two of you and about its potential future.
Is labeling things something he might agree to? Do you stand a chance with him?
Remember that entering a committed relationship is a huge step nowadays and before you start talking about that with a guy, you need to be realistic about the way things between you two are at this moment.
If he is someone you still have no real connection with, start by asking him out on a date and try approaching him in different ways before you ask him out of the blue to be your boyfriend.
Furthermore, are we talking about some random guy you idealize and fantasize about or is this a guy you usually spend time with?
Is he someone you like without having a clue about his feelings or someone who likes you back to the point that he might agree to be your boyfriend?
What is also important is to be realistic about this man’s characteristics, about all of his flaws and qualities.
Of course, nobody expects him to be perfect but you need to be honest with yourself about whether this guy is boyfriend material or not.
More importantly, does he have what it takes to be your boyfriend? Are the two of you compatible and would you get along?
Do you have something more in common besides mutual physical attraction?
4. Be prepared for rejection
When you’re in the process of figuring out how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend, staying optimistic and keeping a positive outlook will help you get most of the job done.
You’ve probably thought all of your options through before taking this step and decided this is the thing you should do.
Nevertheless, let’s face it—there always exists the possibility of him rejecting you and this is something you need to prepare yourself for.
It is important for you not to fall into despair if this happens and not to consider yourself as less worthy or not enough just because some dude doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.
Of course, you’re entitled to ask for an explanation.
You have the right to know what the things are he didn’t like about you but that isn’t something that should define you or make you feel bad about yourself.
What is crucial is for you to accept his negative answer with dignity and without having any games in mind.
Remember that everyone has the right to reject you at any point without you having the right to be angry about it.
Be grateful for the fact that he was honest right from the start instead of leading you on.
Before blaming yourself for his rejection, remember that there could exist a million reasons why he doesn’t want a relationship with you right now.
Besides, he just might not see you as his potential girlfriend and that is nothing for you to be offended about.
After all, trying is always better than always wondering what might happen.
So instead of seeing this rejection as the end of the world, be proud of yourself for being brave enough to take this step in the first place.
5. Determine the right timing
How many times have you heard that the right timing is everything? Well, the same goes for your situation as well.
You can’t ask the guy you like if he wants to be your boyfriend when the two of you have just finished arguing or when you know that he is tired or in a bad mood.
Also, picking a date such as your birthday or Valentine’s Day is a horrible idea because that way you’ll never know whether his answer was positive because he also wants a relationship or because he didn’t want to ruin your big day.
Some might advise you to ask him right after or even during sex but that is something you should avoid doing at all costs.
First and foremost, he might not take you seriously, considering that you’re talking nonsense because you are vulnerable after you guys have been intimate.
Also, he could give you a positive answer just because he is still deeply influenced by your moments under the sheets.
6. Determine the right place
If you’re in doubt about how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend, another thing you should pay attention to is the right place to do that.
The first thing that goes through your mind is probably the place where you two shared some special moments such as your first kiss or something similar.
Even though this is not a bad idea, have in mind that you don’t have to make a big deal out of this by preparing some huge romantic gestures.
It’s just important for the two of you to be somewhere private, so you can talk things through without loud music or someone constantly interrupting you.
You can ask him if he wants to be your boyfriend in a quiet coffee shop or during a walk in nature.
Just don’t do it while you’re out of town or anywhere where you need to travel back from together because that would be quite awkward in the case of a rejection.
7. Do it in person
When you’re wondering how to ask a guy to be your boyfriend, it is perfectly natural for you to be nervous, especially if this is something you have never done in the past.
Consequently, you may think about asking this through a text or via a phone call just to avoid the awkwardness.
Well, let me tell you that this is something you should avoid doing at all costs.
You want this man to take you seriously and to see that you’re brave and strong enough to tell him about your wishes.
Therefore, the only mature way to ask someone to be your relationship partner is to do so in person.
Besides helping you see this guy’s reaction, this approach will also give you a chance to use your body language signals to declare your intentions.
8. Be honest about your feelings
Now that you’ve chosen the timing and a place to ask the big question, the next thing you ought to do is decide to be completely honest with your potential partner.
I’m not saying that you have to declare your love for him in a romantic or even cheesy way but being sincere about your feelings and expectations is always desirable.
This is not the time for you to play hard to get or to hide your true feelings. Instead, just tell him exactly how you feel.
Tell him that he is someone you could see yourself next to and straightforwardly ask him if he’s ready to be your boyfriend.
9. Tell him your expectations
Another important step in the process of asking a guy to be your boyfriend is telling him what you hope to find in this potential romance.
Be aware that different people perceive relationships in different ways so it’s important to set some ground rules right from the start.
The fact that you’re the one who made the first step toward commitment doesn’t put you beneath him in any way and it doesn’t take away your right to talk about your expectations.
Of course, the two of you will build your relationship with time if he agrees to label it but it’d be honest of you to talk to him about some of your deal-breakers and standards your boyfriend should meet.
This way, you’ll give both of you a chance to see if you’re on the same page.
Do you want the same things and can you meet each other’s needs and reach a compromise?
Don’t be scared that this guy will think of you as some lunatic for talking about these things right from the start.
Instead, he’ll just see that you know what you want and he’ll appreciate that.
10. Give him time to think about it
Nobody enjoys feeling pressured and your potential boyfriend is no exception.
The last thing you want is to suffocate him or make him feel trapped because that would only chase him away.
That is why there is nothing wrong with you giving this guy some time to think about his decision before making a final one.
Before anything else, you need to take some things into consideration.
Maybe this is something he hadn’t expected to hear from you or he might need some time to clear his head.
Therefore, if he can’t make up his mind right away, set a certain date a few days from now for when he’ll give you an answer.
However, don’t allow him to use this as an excuse to lead you on for as long as he wants.
After all, you don’t want him to think that he can go to you whenever he feels like it while you sit and patiently wait for him to find the decency to choose you.
If it happens that this guy doesn’t call you on the arranged day to give you his answer, don’t push things too hard because you’ll just come across as too clingy and desperate.
That’s why, in this scenario, you need to do your best to let him go as soon as possible and show him that you can make it without him.