You’ve heard about narcissistic mirroring. But what happens when things turn upside down? What happens when the victim starts mirroring a narcissist?
Is that even possible? If so, how do you do it? Why is it even more beneficial than the grey rock method?
There is only one way to get all the answers: by reading on!
What is mirroring a narcissist?
Simply said, mirroring a narcissist is all about reflecting and copying their behavioral patterns to create the illusion of connection and, eventually, confuse them.
Mirroring someone suffering from NPD actually means turning the tables in your favor. By doing this, you’re defeating them at their own game: you’re using their own weapon and manipulation tactics against them.
Examples of mirroring a narcissist
Let’s put this in practice: if someone with a narcissistic personality disorder gives you the silent treatment, you give them the silent treatment back. If they destroy your self-esteem, you do the same to them. If they go no contact, you go no contact!
But that’s not the end of it! Mirroring a narcissist means copying their likes and dislikes, mannerism, body language, and facial expressions as well.
Will this bring you to a healthy relationship? Will it help you change your covert narcissist? Will it make them stop being a narcissist? Absolutely not!
However, it will definitely help you deal with your narcissistic relationship. Most importantly, it will help you eventually break the trauma bond.
What is narcissistic mirroring?
In normal circumstances, the process works the other way around: your narcissistic partner mirrors your behavior. Actually, this is what all people suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder do – even your narcissistic parents.
Narcissistic mirroring means copying and reflecting your words, body language, facial expressions, life attitudes, likes, and dislikes. It’s a form of narcissistic abuse, and it can be devastating for the victim’s mental health.
Examples of narcissistic mirroring
Let’s put it this way. You meet someone new. You two are slowly getting to know each other better.
Then you realize that you have the same taste in music, movies, sport and everything else. Let’s say you like to spend most of your free time binge-watching your favorite TV show. It’s not just that they spend their weekends the same way – they also have the same favorite TV show.
Of course, the examples are endless. Every time you look at them, you get the impression that you’re looking at a spitting image of yourself.
It’s natural for you to think that you’ve found your soulmate. You don’t see any red flags here and assume that this is an act of fate: you’ve finally found your other half.
Why do they do it?
So, why do people with NPD mirror their victims? Well, first of all, they suffer from a lack of empathy, so they have to fake it to assure you that they’re compassionate and to hide their true narcissistic behavior.
However, the main purpose of narcissistic mirroring is to create a fake bond with the victim. It usually happens during the love-bombing phase, and it helps the victim think that the bond they have with their narcissist is unique and out-of-this-world.
Consequently, all of your insecurities and vulnerabilities appear on the surface. You let your abuser in all the way and allow them to get to know you completely.
After a while, the narc starts using all the information they’ve gained against you. The narcissistic abuse starts, but you aren’t going anywhere because you’ve already developed such powerful codependency.
Before you know it, they become your main source of validation (this is especially dangerous when we’re talking about a narcissistic mother, father, or another caregiver), and your sense of self-worth is tied exclusively to them.
Voila, the narc got exactly what they wanted: an endless narcissistic supply!
Mirroring a narcissist: a double-edged sword
Here are some things you should keep in mind when it comes to mirroring a narcissist:
1. Payback time
If you try to see the process of mirroring a narcissist as a way to get them to change their ways and to cure them of their narcissistic personality disorder, you’re completely wrong!
Let’s get one thing straight: this is how to get your sweet revenge on your narcissistic abuser. Actually, it’s one of the best ways to get even and destroy them with their own weapon.
Will it give you the satisfaction you crave? Will it help your mental health? Will it bring you towards self-love and help you save yourself from this toxic cycle?
Well, it all depends on you.
2. They’re a pro at this
However, you have to be aware that you’re only a beginner and that you’re dealing with a skilled, trained professional. This is something you must always keep in mind.
The moment you forget about this, you’re doomed to fail. Does this mean that you have to keep your guard up at all times? Yes, it does!
You’re on a mission here, and your goal has to be clear at all times. If you relax just for a moment and exit your role, you’re back to square one.
3. Reversed devaluation
The narc’s goal is devaluation – that should be clear by now. They want to deepen your insecurities and make themselves your only source of validation.
Well, it’s time to turn that process upside down, and mirroring a narcissist will help you achieve exactly that! Before you know it, they’ll be seeking validation from you, and they’ll be the ones creating codependency.
4. Losing your true self
But not everything is sunshine and rainbows. There is another thing you must be aware of: you’re at risk of taking over the role of the narcissist. You’re at risk of losing your true self and becoming just like them.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that your narc didn’t deserve this – I’m sure they had it coming. Nevertheless, you have to be careful not to get carried away and not to allow this to become your lifestyle.
Does mirroring a narcissist work?
Yes, mirroring a narcissist works. At first, they don’t see the warning signs, so you have plenty of time to proceed with your manipulation tactics. When they figure out what’s going on, they’ve already become emotionally dependent on you, and you’ve got them exactly where you want them.
Will an empath mirror a narcissist?
An empath will mirror a narcissist more successfully than the other way around. First and foremost, your empathic skills will help you get to know your covert narcissist and read their mind. So, it will be easier for you to reflect not only on their behavior but their feelings as well.
The second step is depriving them of your empathy. When a narcissist feels a lack of empathy, they’re lost because they’ve become addicted to it, without even noticing it.
What happens when you triangulate a narcissist?
Triangulating a narcissist will help you defeat them. Once you have another person on your side, a narc can’t play with your head the same way they used to.
First of all, gaslighting becomes utterly impossible. Secondly, there is someone next to you who will push them into self-awareness, and they are no longer capable of acting clueless about their narcissistic abuse.
Why do empaths mirror narcissists?
In most cases, empaths actually mirror narcissists without being aware of it. These two are actually two sides of one coin – they’re each other’s opposites. An empath recognizes the dark side of their personality in a narc.
At the same time, they’re toxically attracted to each other, and an empath has a hard time getting rid of this trauma bond. Mirroring a narcissist becomes their coping mechanism and a way to adapt to this narcissistic relationship.
However, sometimes, empaths mirror narcissists on purpose – to give them a taste of their own medicine. Their goal is to manipulate them, destroy their mental health, and break their heart, the same way they did to them.
What is vulnerable narcissism?
The name says it all: vulnerable narcissists are more emotionally sensitive than “regular” covert narcissists. It’s much easier to break their hearts, play with their insecurities, and finally, perform successful mirroring on them.
To wrap up:
Now that you’ve perfected the art of mirroring a narcissist, I have to warn you to take it very seriously. Yes, it will help you hurt your narc, but it won’t necessarily help you heal from your narcissistic abuse.
Instead, this method will only keep you stuck in your narcissistic relationship even more. But if you think it’s something you can handle, go for it. I’m just begging you to be careful!