Deixar de amar depois da infidelidade: 12 maneiras fáceis de o fazer

It’s the last thing you’d ever admit, but the truth is that ainda tens sentimentos pelo teu parceiro de traição. You know what they did, and you don’t plan on forgiving them, but you’re having a hard time letting go of your love for them.

Well, you’re not alone. Apaixonar-se após a infidelidade é um processo difícil e algo que muitas pessoas enfrentam, apesar de a maioria guardar segredo.

Eu devia saber, porque fui um cônjuge traído. E acho que o facto de ainda sentir algo pelo meu cônjuge infiel, depois de tudo o que ele me fez, causou um desgosto ainda maior do que a própria infidelidade.

Como é que ultrapassei o meu marido traidor? Como é que eu desprender-me emocionalmente do meu casamento falhado? Continue a ler para descobrir.

Um guia para deixar de amar depois da infidelidade

Assim, todos os sinais de que o seu parceiro está a ser infiel estão lá. Sabe que tem de se afastar desta relação, mas algo parece estar a impedi-lo.

A dura realidade é que ainda tem sentimentos pelo seu parceiro infiel. Bem, é assim que se pode livrar deles num instante:

1. A auto-culpa é um jogo perigoso

It doesn’t matter if your partner had a physical or caso emocional – your first impulse will probably be to blame yourself. This happens every time a a pessoa amada trai-nos: you subconsciously think it’s your fault because it’s easier to blame yourself than see their true colors.

Well, let me tell you something: this has to stop right away! You can’t be guilty of being cheated on! Even if you didn’t treat them right, they always had the choice to walk away before fooling around behind your back.

Remember: they signed up for monogamy – you didn’t force them into it. Your cheating spouse has to take all the responsibility for this situation.

2. Cortá-las completamente

Here’s the hard part: you have to cortar o seu traidor. And I really mean it – you have to stop all communication ASAP.

Sem telefonemas, sem bebedeiras text messages saying “ I love you, ” no asking if they’re doing okay, and no asking them for favors. I know you’re used to having this person in your life, but if you keep them around, your processo de cura nunca chegará ao seu fim saudável.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying it’s impossible to stay friends with an ex after a break-up. However, you haven’t reached that stage just yet! For now, it’s better to stay away from them.

Co-parentalidade

But what if you have to co-parent with your ex-wife or husband? You can’t cut them off completely in that case.

However, you can reduce your communication to the bare minimum. Don’t engage in any conversations that don’t concern your children.

3. Don’t forget social media

Please keep in mind that falling out of love after infidelity or any break-up whatsoever won’t be possible if you keep track of what your ex is up to on social media.

If you still follow their accounts (yes, that includes fake profiles as well) or ask your BFF about the things they posted, you haven’t cut them off!

Por mais difícil que pareça, é preciso bloqueá-los everywhere! What if they’re still with their affair partner? Do you really want to see how their new relationship is progressing?

Quer cair na tentação de o contactar? Quer deixar-lhes espaço suficiente para o contactarem quando lhes apetecer?

I think both you and I know the answers to these questions. Please, do what’s right and spare yourself an unnecessary headache.

4. Don’t suppress your emotions

Healing is a process. And at first, it hurts like hell. But that’s perfectly normal. After all, you’ve been through a lot.

You’ve experienced severe trauma – don’t let anyone tell you any different! Don’t forget that you’re a human being, and it’s natural that you’ll feel different negative emotions regarding everything that happened.

So if you feel like crying, that’s exactly what you should do. If you’re angry (at first), don’t pretend like everything is fine. It’s not, and that’s okay! But whatever you do, don’t suprimir as suas emoções!

Just make sure you give yourself a deadline to get it together. It’s okay to grieve for a certain period of time, but allowing this to become your lifestyle might take a serious toll on your mental health and easily turn into depression.

5. Dar tempo a si próprio

Isto leva-nos ao nosso próximo ponto: falling out of love after infidelity doesn’t happen overnight. Remember: it’s a process. E todos os processos levam tempo.

First of all, don’t let others rush you. Don’t be embarrassed that you’re still overwhelmed by everything you’ve experienced.

Um prazo em que se deve ultrapassar isso doesn’t exist. We’re all different, and we all heal at a different pace.

O melhor conselho que já recebi foi dar tempo ao tempo. Trust me, time will do its magic sooner or later – you just have to be patient about it.

Of course, this is not an invitation to keep on grieving your ex for the rest of your life. But don’t expect magic results overnight either.

6. Esquece o ódio e a vingança

You want to get even – that’s pretty understandable. Mas procura de vingança is one of the first red flags that you’re not falling out of love after infidelity – you’re actually still emotionally involved in this relationship.

Trust me – vingar-se won’t make you feel better. I’m not saying you must perdoar o seu cônjuge infiel right away, but hating them won’t bring you any good either – it will only turn you into a more negative person.

And don’t even get me started on your ex’s affair partner. This might be a hard pill to swallow, but they’re not to blame either.

You don’t know if they even knew you existed. Even if they did, it was your partner’s responsibility not to break your trust.

Of course, in that case, the affair partner isn’t the best person in the world either, but that’s not your problem. You won’t become best friends or something like that, but you shouldn’t hate them either.

7. Pensar demais é o seu maior inimigo

Why do people cheat? Was this my unfaithful spouse’s first time going behind my back? Should we have gone to couples therapy?

O que é que eu devia ter feito para que a minha relação funcionasse? Era possível reconstruir a confiança entre nós dois? Mereciam uma segunda oportunidade?

It’s time to put all of these questions aside! I hate to break it to you, but you likely won’t obter o fecho que desejas desesperadamente. No final do dia, qual seria o objetivo?

Would it make you feel better? Trust me – it wouldn’t.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not here to judge the people who decided to make their relationship work after infidelity. But you’re not one of those people.

You’ve made your decision and decided to leave your cheating husband or wife in the past. So, what’s the point of overanalyzing everything that has happened?

As long as you continue doing so, you’re staying in the relationship. I know that you’ve removed yourself from it physically, but you haven’t done so mentally.

8. Aceitar que era para ser

You have no other choice but to accept that it was meant to be. No, I’m not telling you that your relationship was meant to be because clearly, it wasn’t.

No entanto, as coisas estavam destinadas a correr exatamente como correram. Trust me – everything happens for a reason, and Deus tem sempre um plano para si.

Era preciso que esta infidelidade acontecesse para que finalmente se afastasse da sua relação tóxica? Era necessário para conhecer o amor da sua vida? Afinal de contas, é preciso fechar uma porta para abrir outro.

Foi uma lição que teve de aprender? Esta experiência foi necessária para perceberes o quão forte és na realidade?

You don’t know the answers now, I get it. But trust me, you’ll find them soon enough.

And when that happens, you’ll see that this was actually a blessing in disguise. I promise you that in the future, you’ll look back on this and see it as the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

Até lá, tenham fé e aceitem que é assim que as coisas devem ser!

9. Get back out there…when you’re ready

Nova relação: sim ou não? Bem, antes de vos dar a resposta a esta pergunta, temos de esclarecer uma coisa. Há uma diferença entre entrar numa nova relação e voltar a sair.

Antes de mais nada, you shouldn’t do anything you’re not ready for. Esqueçam o período de tempo que passou, esqueçam as normas sociais e, acima de tudo, esqueçam fazer ciúmes à ex .

Neste caso, deve seguir o seu instinto e dar um passo de cada vez.

This means that nobody expects you to start a new serious relationship tomorrow. And whoever does, well, screw them. You’re still handling your trauma, and the last thing you need right now is to be pushed into something you don’t want.

But that doesn’t mean you should be stuck in your four walls waiting for a miracle to happen. Get voltar à piscina dos encontros .

Namoriscar com aquele colega de trabalho novo e giro que acabou de chegar. Responde àquela DM que acabaste de receber. Sorri quando recebes um elogio.

Love will find its way back to you – just don’t force it.

Relações de ricochete

Mas, por favor, afasta-te das relações de ricochete. You’ll end up hurting yourself and breaking someone else’s heart.

Even if you don’t cheat on this new person with your ex, you still have feelings for them, and, in a way, that’s an emotional affair. Please, be better than this and don’t fall into this toxic pattern of behavior!

10. O auto-aperfeiçoamento é fundamental

I can’t stress this enough, but falling out of love after infidelity is utterly impossible if you don’t work on yourself. I’m not saying you should change the essence of your personality, but reinventing some parts of yourself might be beneficial.

O auto-aperfeiçoamento é a chave para se sentir melhor. Quando recuperar a sua autoestima, tudo começará a melhorar.

Don’t do it to make your ex realize what they’ve lost. Faça-o para melhorar a sua vida!

Em vez de ficar obcecada com a infidelidade da pessoa, mantenha-se ocupada. Saia o mais possível, encontre um novo passatempo, vá ao ginásio, passeie com outras pessoas e faça tudo o que a fizer feliz.

Arrase na sua vida de solteiro and get the best out of it. Do everything you’ve missed out on.

O objetivo é melhorar a sua saúde física e mental!

11. E o amor-próprio também

Lembrem-se disto: deixar de amar depois de uma infidelidade inclui voltar a apaixonar-se por si próprio. It means realizing that you don’t need this person’s validation to feel good about yourself.

It means rebuilding your destroyed self-esteem and understanding your worth! It’s about putting yourself in first place!

O mais importante aqui é chegar ao ponto em que se ama mais a si própria do que ao seu ex infiel. Mas ouça-me bem: o que é que não há para amar em si?

I’m sure there are things you don’t like about your personality. And that’s perfectly fine. But the power to change lies only in your hands.

Por favor, respeita-te o suficiente para nunca te contentares com menos do que mereces. Eleve os seus padrões e lembre-se do seu valor!

12. Ajuda profissional

I hope your family, best friends, or even close coworkers are there for you. But sometimes, their help just doesn’t cut it.

E não há nada de vergonhoso nisso. Afinal de contas, that’s why experts exist – to help you overcome your trauma.

If you feel like you’re having a hard time getting over everything you’ve experienced, please don’t hesitate to look for professional help. An expert will guide you through your recovery process and help you get your mental health back on track!

Ver também: 30 códigos de mensagens de texto de cônjuges traidores revelados

Ainda amas alguém se o traíres?

Surpreendentemente, muitos batoteiros afirmam que eles adoram a pessoa com quem se traiu. The truth is that infidelity isn’t always the same as the absolute absence of emotions. On the contrary, it can be just a moment of weakness or come after relationship or marital problems.

However, this fact doesn’t justify infidelity under any circumstances!

Será que a dor da infidelidade desaparece?

Even though it doesn’t seem like it in the beginning, a dor da infidelidade desaparece definitivamente ao fim de algum tempo. De acordo com os especialistas em relações, normalmente demora cerca de um ano e meio para o vosso coração para sarar depois de ter sido traído.

Quanto tempo é que os casais permanecem juntos depois da infidelidade?

It all depends – se visitarem um conselheiro matrimonial e estiverem dispostos a fazer algumas mudanças na sua relação, os casais podem permanecer juntos para o resto das suas vidas.

But if they try to bury what happened under the carpet and ignore it, it’s not likely they’ll stay together for a long period of time. In this case, the prognosis is a couple of months.

Ser traído muda-nos?

Sim, é verdade! A maioria das pessoas acaba por se debater com inseguranças e até perder a fé no amor para sempre.

Nevertheless, infidelity doesn’t have to change you in a bad way. It can help you see that you’re self-sufficient and strong enough to take whatever life throws at you.

All in all, it’s a tough lesson, but it’s also very valuable.

Para terminar:

You know what the most important thing about falling out of love after infidelity is? It’s judging yourself for still having feelings for your cheater.

Please, don’t fall into this trap. Compreenda que não há nada de errado consigo e siga este guia passo-a-passo para o sucesso!