Letting go of your true love is an unimaginably difficult thing but when it’s time to move on in order to save your sanity, you must let go of your toxic relationship for the sake of your well-being and self-esteem.
Sometimes, we get so lost in a bad relationship that we forget about our self-worth and lose our true selves.
We keep lying to ourselves that this time, it will get better, this time, they will change. But they never do.
We lose our sense of self-identity and it becomes so challenging to know where the line between a healthy relationship and a bad relationship is. To part ways with your best friend feels like torture.
But all the goodwill you have to make it better has started to drain you emotionally and physically.
Where does the pain end and where has your happiness gone?
How do you know it’s time to move on? How do you know that you can no longer keep holding on and wait for a change that you deep down know will never happen?
There are various red flags and clear signs that will help you see that your romantic relationship comes with an expiration date but admitting them to yourself is a whole other thing.
Love tends to blind even the best of us. Ignoring the warning signs becomes your second nature and making such a significant life change feels like the end of the world.
You are so used to being attached to this person that moving on doesn’t seem fathomable.
But when you let them go and choose this vital life change, you’re giving yourself a new lease on life. Letting go will liberate you once you see how good you deserve to have it!
How Do You Know When It’s Time To Move On?
By listening to your gut feeling. By putting yourself first for once.
By choosing your well-being over toxicity. By choosing yourself!
The last time I was in a bad relationship, I went through some of the most complex emotions a person can endure.
Even though I truly believed that I’d know when it’s time to move on from a relationship, I failed myself.
My current situation (a very happy one) has helped me see things clearly.
Sure, in hindsight, everything seems clearer but if we choose to acknowledge the red flags in time, we will save ourselves so much unnecessary pain.
When it’s time to move on, you get this inexplicable feeling of always being on the edge of yourself.
You never feel like yourself and deep down, you see how much struggle it takes to keep this thing together.
Not so long ago, you were in a really healthy relationship that filled your heart with profound happiness but today, letting go is the only option that will leave you in one piece.
As fulfilling as a romantic relationship can be, it can also make you lose your true self in the process.
Lying to yourself on a daily basis that you’re okay (when you’re not) is a clear sign that it’s time to move on. Feeling alone and unseen are signs that it’s time to move on.
Not feeling like you can be yourself with this person is all you need to know that it’s time for a change.
Simply choose to be honest with yourself and all the warning signs will suddenly become so clear. While you’re going through the motions, let us help you see the true signs that it’s time to let go.
10 Signs You Need To Let Them Go
I understand that your romantic relationship has had its many ups but when there are more downs, you have to start seeing the reality of the situation.
It isn’t fulfilling anymore.
It’s not what makes you happy to be alive and as excruciating as letting go is, sometimes, it’s your best bet.
Here’s all you need to know about when it’s time to move on.
1. Past memories are keeping you afloat
Do you want to know how I survived my previous toxic relationship?
By replaying the happy bits on a loop and choosing to live in the past. For a good few months, I refused to accept reality.
I told myself things were okay because he used to be so kind and generous.
He used to love the shit out of me and always made me feel like I mattered. The key thing here is used to.
And this is how I should’ve known it was time to move on. He didn’t make me happy at the time, it was all but a distant memory I kept replaying in my head.
But when you keep clinging onto a past that doesn’t correlate to your present, you know that there’s something wrong.
A romantic relationship should make you feel happy and fulfilled now. Present tense.
Stop living in the past and accept the truth. If your memories are all you’ve got, it’s time to move on.
2. Your partner keeps upsetting you
Your current situation is what matters during your decision making. At the end of the day, your partner needs to be your inspiration and your rock.
They need to make you feel like you can do anything and be the wind beneath your wings.
That’s what a healthy relationship should be. But if your partner makes you upset more than they make you happy, isn’t that a red flag you can’t miss?
True love isn’t supposed to hurt.
It’s not supposed to diminish your self-worth and nor should it make you feel disloyal to your true self.
It’s only a matter of time before your self-esteem takes a huge hit and it starts getting harder and harder to get out.
Don’t stay in a relationship that keeps upsetting you. See the red flags.
Happiness is not as unattainable as it may seem right now. It’s time to move on from a relationship when you stop feeling at peace.
Letting go sucks but it’ll make you feel liberated once you choose your well-being over loyalty to a bad partner.
3. You are being pressured to change
In a romantic relationship, it goes without saying that two people who are living their life together are going to start mimicking each other at some point. And to an extent, it’s perfectly normal.
But when you’re being pressured to change in any shape or form, that’s a red flag.
Choose to see this warning sign. It always starts with the little things.
Something about your hair, clothes or the way you speak to your partner.
And the next thing you know, they’re trying to change the core of your being.
That’s where you need to stop it. You are who you are and if you cannot be yourself in front of your partner, it’s time to move on.
Being anything other than your true self is wrong on so many levels.
Never betray who you are for somebody who can’t appreciate the person you’ve grown to be and love.
People who love each other never try to change each other.
You love the person for who they are, not for who you want them to be and this tells you all you need to know.
4. You keep rationalizing their shitty actions
When you’re in a situation that requires you to constantly rationalize somebody’s actions to make your discomfort go away, you are experiencing cognitive dissonance.
This occurs when you’re faced with something that violates what you believe in and what you stand for but you keep making excuses for that particular behavior.
This is a very dangerous zone as you’re forcing yourself to come up with (often inaccurate) rationalizations for your partner’s actions in order to make your anxiety vanish.
If you’re still wondering when it’s time to move on, this would be your cue.
The discomfort you’re feeling is slowly killing you on the inside as you’ve replaced the feeling of love with excuses for somebody who doesn’t deserve them.
You are living in a world where your false rationalizations are making you stay in a bad relationship.
Choose reality over a false sense of happiness. As tough as it may be, it trumps lying to yourself on a daily basis.
Give yourself the opportunity to find a healthy relationship that won’t make you resort to a self-created false reality.
5. You’re being emotionally abused
Words can hurt just as much as physical pain and your loving partner should never resort to any type of abuse to get his point across.
Your feelings matter. You matter. You are worthy of the type of person who will make you love your flaws, not scream at you for simply being human.
People tend to excuse emotional pain because it’s not visible to the eye, therefore it can easily be hidden but just because you cannot see it, it doesn’t mean it’s not destroying you on the inside.
The wounds that are much harder to heal from are those from emotional and mental hurt. After denying it for so long, one day, you just explode.
Don’t let it get to that point.
If you cannot have a conversation without feeling emotionally exhausted and blamed for this and that, it’s time to move on.
6. They keep repeating old mistakes
Everyone is prone to making mistakes. That doesn’t make you a bad person, it only means you’re human.
But when a person keeps repeating past actions they promised would never happen again, that’s no longer a mistake. That’s a choice.
There’s a huge difference between a mistake and a choice. One can happen to anybody while the other is intentional.
You be the judge of how you should move forward knowing this.
When I was faced with these particular issues, I chose happiness over tolerating his mistakes on a loop.
Once is an accident, twice can be tolerated but anything more than that is pure intention.
At some point, you simply realize that when a person loves you, they don’t hurt you intentionally.
And this is exactly what was happening to me and I decided I wasn’t going to let him make a fool of me anymore.
If your partner doesn’t have the decency to put some effort into loving you without hurting you, it’s high time to let go and detach yourself.
7. You’re the only one making an effort
When was the last time your partner did something nice for you for no reason?
When was the last time they made plans and let you simply relax, knowing they had it covered?
Effort says a lot about how much you mean to a person. Those who love you will put in the work.
It’s really not that complicated. Relationships are 50:50 but when one partner keeps giving their all and the other couldn’t be bothered, you know it’s doomed.
Effort is a reflection of someone’s affection.
You decide how much you’re willing to put on your shoulders but just know, when the burden becomes too heavy and they’re not there to carry the load with you, it’s time to move on.
You deserve someone who’ll be there for you in good and bad, not someone who’ll make you carry the relationship on your shoulders. Partnership or nothing.
8. When your beliefs aren’t the same
For your relationship to stand the test of time, you need to be on the same page regarding fundamental values.
We all have our differences but some things cannot be compromised on. There’s no room for a gray area there.
If you keep clashing on the most important issues (and you decide what those are for your relationship), it’s only going to be an uphill battle.
Compromising your entire belief system over a person who doesn’t deserve it is never the answer.
Stand your ground and be true to yourself. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
Sometimes, it’s better to admit to yourself that in the long run, it simply isn’t going to work.
For a little while, you can lie to yourself that your differences can be mended but after a while, it will become unbearable. Choose to move on before they leave a bitter taste in your mouth.
9. The relationship isn’t letting you flourish
As people, we are constantly evolving, growing and maturing. You can never know too much, learn too much or experience too much.
Life is a journey and we’re constantly learning about both life and ourselves!
But when your relationship is holding you back, that’s a warning sign of something being seriously wrong.
In a healthy relationship, you should be encouraged to be free to explore and evolve!
However, in a toxic relationship, something is always holding you back and making it impossible to reach your full potential.
Don’t let it! Let your wings take you where you need to go. A person who loves you will always remain yours and they will never hold you back from making your dreams come true.
It’s not selfish to want to find your place in your world. It’s completely natural!
Don’t let yourself become stagnant over a doomed relationship. It’s time to move on when your dreams are as far away from you as ever.
10. When there’s no emotional connection
This is your final red flag. At the end of the day, to be with someone for a long period of time, you need to be emotionally connected.
There’s no compromise there. Lying to yourself that something’s still there when you know it’s vanished is only hurting you more each day.
Wouldn’t you rather be with somebody who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world?
Don’t you think you deserve someone whose mere presence will alleviate all of your worries and problems? Yes, you do.
You cannot fake an emotional connection; this is something that needs to be felt with your heart.
And it’s never okay to fake something as pure and genuine as that.
You deserve to connect with someone on an emotional, physical and sexual level.
Never settle on that. Once you find someone who will complete you on every level, you’ll see how much better things can be.
Walk away and let go of what’s no longer yours. Find the one who’ll know your mind without you having to utter a word.