We’ve all once experienced what it’s like to be hurt, and we soon got over it.
But, what if these feelings keep popping up in the company of your close friend, loved one, family member, or within your work environment?
Do you maybe feel that this person is causing too much drama and attention in the circle of your other friends, and it irritates you?
Alert – toxic people in your life!
Yes, these can be some visible signs that you are in a toxic relationship, which can very quickly impair both your mental and physical health.
You may still not be aware of how dangerous these traits can be, but this article will open your eyes and clarify some questions that bother you.
Follow me and find out how toxic traits and behaviors affect us, how to recognize them, and how to deal with them.
10 Toxic Personality Traits
What are the most common toxic personality traits, and how do they behave? Should we be worried?
Well, let’s see…
1. Emotional manipulation
People often manipulate each other, but when does this manipulation cross the line? And, how do you determine if this is becoming a visible sign of a toxic person around you?
If you feel that someone is playing on your insecurities trying to get the best out of you for their good, be sure that you are spending time with a person who is detrimental to your health.
Emotional manipulation is the first on the toxic traits list. Anyone can emotionally manipulate you: from your loved one, a close friend, a family member, or an acquaintance, to your co-workers.
Of course, manipulation can be unconsciously induced (because that person does not know to behave differently) or intentionally induced (here, we are talking about personality disorders, e.g., psychopaths, sociopaths, etc.)
If you notice that someone is constantly belittling you, know that your relationship is going in the wrong direction. You will soon begin to believe that someone is better than you, which will eventually lead to your low self-esteem.
Once you are drawn into this kind of relationship with people, it’s hard to get out of it. This condition is called emotional codependency. Even though your person is manipulating you, you’re used to it and it’s hard for you to notice that something isn’t right.
2. Narcissistic trait: there is “I” in everything
Do you ever notice that the person you are talking to uses too much “I”? Okay, it’s normal to think of ourselves and our well-being, but isn’t it a little narcissistic to see only ourselves in all situations?
One of the traits of a toxic person is narcissistic behavior. Such people are trapped within “eggshells of an egoism”. They take without giving, have no feelings for others, and everything usually revolves around them.
You don’t have much to expect from such people. Don’t hope that they will help you when you’re having a hard time. They can only add an insult to your injury.
Indeed, this type of toxic individual will turn things in his favor and your problems will stay where they were.
3. Drama Is Their Middle Name
Do you feel that your relationship with someone is too dramatic, but you are not the one who is making a mountain out of a molehill?
Well, this is a red flag for “the drama queen” next to you. You’ve probably tried to ignore their problems and drama a few times, but with people like this, it’s not that easy.
This is probably because toxic people can’t build healthy relationships with anyone. Instead, they are always in some conflict with others, and they seek attention; weeping on their victimhood while hurting you.
So, whether at work, in a relationship, or one of your family members is creating too much drama out of nothing, my advice is to step back. Trust me, that’s the key to your health.
4. Consistently inconsistent
You certainly feel good when someone understands you and when you have someone to rely on in difficult life situations. But, what if, at one point, we can rely on that person, but in a short period, that person will write you off?
This is another sign of toxic people in your life, and it’s called inconsistency.
Inconsistent people are very difficult to follow. Their behavior is changeable, and you are never sure what they are going to do next.
At one moment, they can instill confidence and trust, while at another moment, they can turn their backs on you.
It will certainly be difficult to stay away from a person like this at first, but after periods of time, you will realize that this gives you more freedom.
5. Lack of support
Do you consider yourself a friendly person who supports the dreams and wishes of your friends, relatives, and family members, but some of them are still not there for you when you need them?
Lack of compassion and support is also linked to toxic behavior.
You may be able to deal with disappointment a couple of times, but if you don’t want it to overwhelm you and lead you to low self-esteem, watch out for this trait in people.
6. Passive-aggressive behavior
A toxic person will never directly attack you for something. Instead, he/she will use small verbal jabs to make you feel guilty.
For example, if you agree on something with a close friend and he doesn’t like it, he won’t admit it to you directly. Rather, he will use emotional blows to get revenge on you.
If you find yourself in this situation, keep in mind that it is not harmless at all. I would define it as serious indirect manipulation.
Another negative thing we can experience in toxic relationships is a fit of jealousy. Your toxic friend can very easily be jealous of the people around you, which will make you feel uncomfortable and even frustrated.
Jealousy can be a product of fear and manipulation, but also selfishness.
If you notice that your person is “making scenes” in front of others to keep you, know that this is misbehavior and that the outcome may not be good for you.
8. Hidden competitor
Another sign that you have a toxic friend is when you notice that he/she is copying you, but with the intention of being better than you.
Don’t be fooled that it’s just friendly love and that’s the way your friend wants to get closer to you.
It is not a coincidence that this happens by itself. Instead, this can be a clear sign that your friend is arrogant and overly competitive.
Watch out for this kind of person because they can easily take your merits and deeds, of course, if you allow the whole situation to continue.
9. Disrespecting boundaries
You must often wonder when it’s time to draw the line in your relationships with people.
Toxic people usually have a lack of respect for you and tend to violate your boundaries.
Some of the visible signs of disrespect are: ignoring someone’s thoughts and ideas, insulting, showing inappropriate behavior in front of others, lying, interrupting, etc.
This behavior can easily push your buttons.
The bottom line is setting boundaries. Do not let a person go beyond your limits.
Finally, I would like to describe the trait, which I consider the most dangerous of all. It is gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a specific type of manipulation that mostly occurs in very close relationships.
The partner uses “mind games” to control your thoughts, and sometimes even your movements. They will eventually convince you of something that you are not and that you don’t want to be.
Do you apologize often to someone? Do you often feel that everything you do is wrong?
If the answer to this is yes, then my friend, it is time to do something about that. It doesn’t make sense to be in a relationship in which you feel disrespected and insecure, does it?
What Are Toxic Traits In A Relationship?
As already mentioned, there are many toxic traits, and we can experience them within different relationships with humans.
But, you are certainly afraid that you may experience it in your relationship. In that case, of all the features listed, I would like you to pay special attention to these traits:
• Emotional manipulation
There are many ways that one can poison a relationship, but I would consider these as the most toxic ways.
Why did I single them out as the most dangerous?
Because all three of these traits are attacks on mental health, and all other illnesses and deficiencies start with it.
What Are Narcissist Traits?
In addition to toxic traits that disrupt and negatively affect our relationships with people, there are also narcissistic traits that have a strong connection with toxic ones.
Of course, it does not necessarily mean that every person with these traits has this disorder, but it can surely be a warning sign for it.
Here are some of the main narcissistic traits:
• Grandiose sense of superiority
• Sense of self-importance
• Arrogant behavior
• Belittling others
• Envy of others
How Do You Know If You Have A Toxic Trait?
Most people are not aware of their toxic traits. “Why me, when there are others to blame?”
Unless you are self-aware? If you have a high degree of self-awareness, you will easily recognize what you are like in the eyes of others.
But, if you still haven’t got the right answer, go back to our first paragraph and read carefully once again what those toxic properties are.
What Is Considered Toxic Behavior?
A toxic person is considered to be any person who brings restlessness, anxiety, or tension into your life, which affects your mental and physical health.
The manipulative behavior of a toxic person is often accompanied by strong desires to control other persons; jealousy, disrespect, passive-aggression.
Is Jealousy A Toxic Trait?
In a way, yes.
Jealousy is also considered a universal trait. But, a fit of toxic jealousy is manifested by uncontrolled outbursts of rage, which are often described as “childish”.
Jealousy is good, but only in small amounts. It actually shows that you genuinely care for a person. However, if you let it consume you completely, and if it crosses the boundary and goes into a state called possessiveness, then it becomes a real issue.
What Is A Toxic Friendship?
A friendship in which one side is always love-giving, caring, and a bit naive while the other side manipulates and uses that kindness.
How do we know that our person is toxic?
If you often feel depressed in the company of your friend, it’s time to re-evaluate your friendship. If your person possesses any of the above traits, the bad news is that the relationship you have is detrimental to your health.
So, my friend, either solve it or run away from it.
How Toxic People Affect Our Mental Health
If I were to give you the shortest and most concrete definition of a toxic person, I would probably say that it is a person who negatively affects your mental health.
Sometimes, even though you know that someone’s behavior is inappropriate, you still give in to it because you don’t want a conflict to arise, right?
Well, the toxic relationship can draw the last atoms of energy from you, pushing out all those positive things while outweighing the negative ones.
Such people are very difficult to deal with, and it is usually complicated to determine the cause of such behavior.
But! – suppressing problems and tolerating such behaviors are not the solution to your problem.
These can seriously affect your mental health and your well-being. Bear in mind that no one “profits” in such a relationship. The toxic individual builds up his ego in the wrong direction, while the other person loses the sense of self-worth.
Trust me, once your mental health is impaired, you’re going to have a hard time rebuilding it.
It is advisable to ask yourself what causes toxicity in humans, and how to recognize such people. Once you spot them, it will be easy to set boundaries and priorities.
Although these traits and behaviors are not the same for everyone, and while some traits predominate others, here are some warning signs that you are in the company of a person with toxic traits.
What Are The Causes Of Toxic Behavior?
Before reaching any conclusion on how to treat toxic people, one should ask, why are they the way they are, and where do such behaviors come from?
One thing I’m sure of is that you’ve already created a bad image of toxic people, and maybe you’ve already categorized them as evil people, haven’t you?
But, sometimes things are not as they seem at first glance. As all behaviors have their causes, so should toxic behavior have its own. Let’s look at it.
Have you ever tried to get rid of some of your bad traits, but it just didn’t work out? Maybe this is where the answer to the question “Why are toxic people toxic” lies?
Their way of approaching others has always been this way, but over time, the intensity of this “bad behavior” has gotten worse. The cause of this can be a lack of social skills, a lack of self-confidence, and some other forms of insecurity.
For example, if a person who possesses these insecurities wants to be noticed somewhere (at home, at school, in the work environment), he will not show it in a normal way, but will start with inappropriate behavior, and thus, try to attract the attention of others.
Likewise, they will create problematic situations in society in order to stand out.
How Do You Deal With Toxic Traits And Behavior?
It’s not always easy to draw the line and cut people off from your own life. Even avoiding people is sometimes not the solution because what if they are your co-workers, your significant other, or a member of your family?
If you notice that your important people fit into the listed traits of toxic behavior, it’s time for you to get down to work and find a solution to the problem.
No one says it will be easy for you, but being in a healthy relationship with others is still the most important thing of all; both for your health and for others.
• Face toxic people
First of all, you must deal with such people and their behaviors.
Try to empathize with them and find understanding for them, but also draw boundaries. Don’t fool yourself that someone’s bad behavior is okay with you.
Do not let toxic behavior continue or let that person go without facing an obvious problem.
A conversation has always been a good solution, so you should not be afraid to face the problem. Confront your toxic friend and call him out on his behavior. Highlight anything that doesn’t suit you in your relationship.
Toxic people love attention, so it won’t be a problem for them to listen to you and apologize for their bad behavior. But, of course, even after that, make sure that it does not happen again.
• Set goals – take action
Sometimes you just can’t avoid toxic people. But, you can certainly limit the time you spend with them.
Working on healthy relationships with others is, of course, very important, but you need to take a little care of yourself as well.
Don’t put other people’s goals ahead of your own. What you set for yourself, try to achieve.
For example, you can introduce some other activities and occupations into your life to dedicate as much time as possible to yourself.
• Learn to say no to your toxic friend
In toxic relationships, you have to know when and how to say no.
It may sound ridiculous to you, but the first step to achieving this is to stand in front of a mirror and say No!
At first, it will be hard for you to refuse to do a favor for someone, but later, you will see that you have taken the burden off your back. Bear in mind that you don’t have to take on other people’s responsibilities.
You have to be loyal to yourself because you are the most important to yourself and you have to think about your mental health before anything else.
Once you learn to say “no” to things that shouldn’t even concern you, you’ll realize how much responsibility for someone else’s problems has never really been on you.
Dealing with toxic behavior is certainly not easy. This happens because their inconsistency and their behavior confuse us. Such people bind us to themselves and distance us from them at the same time.
But, toxic people will only act on us if they are allowed to. In such relationships, you should act immediately upon noticing the problem.
I know it sounds scary to lose and let go of the person who is with us most of our lives.
But, isn’t it more frightening that we are no longer the same after these people, and that we are changing in the wrong direction? If we let the bad qualities of others dominate us, things will only go downhill.
Of course, the outcome of a relationship depends on both parties. If you react immediately to toxic traits, you may be able to help that person.
It’s generally hard to deal with people and maintain healthy relationships, especially when we talk about people who possess toxic traits.
At least you can always tell by your feelings who you are comfortable with and who you are not. This will make it easier for you to build your life and, once you face your problem, every next hurdle will be easy for you to solve.