When the intimacy stops in a relationship, so many other relationship issues arise too. It’s an unfortunate fact. However, the good thing is that it definitely doesn’t have to end a relationship.
There are so many things a couple can do to reignite the spark in their relationship and make things work again.
Also, couples therapy and relationship experts can help a couple get through this and make things work in the bedroom again.
Most couples have intimacy issues today, and there is nothing wrong with that. The bad thing is when they give up on their relationship and allow those issues to separate them and destroy their love.
7 Things To Do When The Intimacy Stops In A Relationship
I’m sure you first want to know what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate, right? Well, I don’t want to make you wait anymore, so let’s start with the ways to solve your relationship issue.
1. COMMUNICATE!
This is the first and most important thing to do when the intimacy stops in a relationship. If you want to solve your issues, you first need to figure out what caused them, and you won’t be able to find that out if you don’t talk.
Open and honest communication can solve even the biggest problems. Without healthy communication, there is no healthy relationship… All couples should know this.
2. Build a stronger emotional intimacy
If a couple is struggling with sexual intimacy problems, then they should work on strengthening their emotional connection.
They should spend more time together, open up to each other about everything that is happening with them, and plan some fun dates that would allow them to bond. Once you rehabilitate your emotional connection, then you can focus on the intimate one.
3. Flirt like you’re trying to win each other over again
The thing most couples do wrong is that they stop flirting with each other after some time. That’s what makes the spark go out of their relationship.
To strengthen their intimate relationship, they need to flirt with each other like they did in the beginning. It won’t only spark things up again, but it’ll remind the partners why they fell in love with one another.
4. Pay attention to what your partner wants
There should never be a place for selfishness in a healthy relationship. If you don’t care about how your partner feels and what they want, it’ll cause many relationship issues, and a lack of intimacy will probably be one of them.
Partners need to talk to each other. They need to know one another’s wishes and try to understand and accept them. That’s the only way they’ll be able to maintain their relationship.
5. Restore the passion
Is it possible to reignite the spark in a relationship? Of course, it is. Try new ways of cuddling and prolonging foreplay.
Build sexual tension between you. Spend more time alone, just the two of you. Try sexting over social media while you are not physically together. All those things can help you rekindle the passion between you.
6. Leave your comfort zone and spark things up again
If you want to fix your intimacy issues, you should forget about your comfort zone totally. Your comfort zone has probably caused all of these issues in your relationship.
Try new things, even those you aren’t particularly comfortable about. Bring some toys into the bedroom. Play sex games, and try erotic role play.
7. Try couples therapy
Or, if you’re married, you can seek the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist.
You may not be able to solve your issues by yourselves, and you should let professionals help you.
Related: All You Need To Know About Couples Counseling
9 Things That Happen When The Intimacy Stops In A Relationship
Lack of intimacy may leave consequences on your relationship. Fortunately, those consequences of lack of physical intimacy don’t have to be permanent.
1. Lack of intimacy = lack of communication
Where there is a lack of sex, there is also a lack of open communication. If their sex life is suffering, it’s only because the couple isn’t able to talk directly and share what’s bothering them.
The truth is, your relationship will never survive without open communication. Lack of physical intimacy is the first among many relationship problems you’ll have to deal with.
2. Accumulation of negative emotions
The lack of sex in a relationship may cause so many emotions within both partners, and, unfortunately, those emotions are always negative.
The partners might resent each other for disconnecting and losing the spark in their relationship. They may also be confused and angry at one another because, frankly, it’s hard to deal with these kinds of relationship issues.
3. The couple loses their emotional connection
If something doesn’t function in their sex life, the couple will start feeling disconnected. They won’t be able to talk about it with each other, which will make it impossible for them to fix their issues.
Physical intimacy is closely linked to emotional intimacy. One can’t exist without the other and vice versa.
4. It definitely stops being a healthy relationship
Communication, trust, respect, love, and physical intimacy are the foundations of a healthy relationship. If a relationship lacks any of these, it can’t be healthy. Fullstop.
5. Raising self-esteem issues
When one partner starts avoiding physical intimacy, it opens many questions for the other partner. They start questioning everything in the search for answers.
They start blaming themselves. They feel unattractive and think it’s the reason their partner doesn’t want to sleep with them. Of course, all of that leaves deep marks on their self-esteem.
6. Mental health issue
Lack of intimacy is a relationship issue most couples struggle with today. And like all the other issues, it may also be a cause for certain mental health issues.
A partner or both of them may become depressed and anxious. They might be afraid of the consequences lack of physical intimacy may have on their relationship, but at the same time, they’ll feel helpless.
7. Love starts weakening
When the intimacy stops in a relationship, love starts fading away too. If the couple doesn’t take any steps to save their relationship, the love may leave completely.
Whether we want to admit it or not, physical intimacy is one way to show the love and affection we feel for our loved ones. If it stops, our partner may start thinking that the love we once felt for them has stopped too.
8. Partners become friends/roommates
In a sexless relationship, partners don’t feel like romantic partners anymore. They start feeling more like friends or, if they live together, like roommates.
Without sexual intimacy, they don’t have the closeness that makes them feel like romantic partners.
9. Engaging in emotional affairs
Lack of intimacy in a relationship can make partners think about cheating on each other. If that happens, if one or both of them indulge in an affair, it will be harder for them to save their relationship.
In that case, they’ll also struggle with trust issues, which will complicate things even further.
Why Do Couples Stop Having Sex?
There are numerous reasons couples stop having sex. Unfortunately, intimacy issues are becoming a very common problem in romantic relationships.
• Emotional disconnection
This is the underlying cause of the lack of sex in romantic relationships. The bond between partners weakens, and they don’t feel connected anymore, which affects their sex life in the worst possible way.
• Mental health issues
Unfortunately, so many people are dealing with depression and anxiety nowadays. So, many of them use antidepressants and medication for their health conditions, which may cause erectile dysfunction and decrease libido and sexual desire.
• Life stressors
Let’s face it, we all deal with different kinds of stress on a daily basis.
We all worry about our jobs, financial problems, and even worse, family issues… Well, all of those stressors may affect your sexual relationship and cause some of these issues.
• Low sex drive
When one or both partners have a low sex drive, it’s completely normal that they’ll have physical intimacy issues in their relationship.
If they’re okay with being in a sexless relationship, then good for them. However, they probably won’t be able to maintain their relationship in that way.
• Long-term relationship boredom
One of the most common reasons couples stop having sex is when a relationship falls into a rut. That happens in long-term relationships when partners get too comfortable with each other.
Can A Relationship Survive Lack Of Intimacy?
It most definitely can. The only thing that is needed for it is a mutual effort from both partners. If they still love each other and want to work on their relationship, they can and will overcome this and every other relationship issue.
It may leave some consequences on their emotional connection, but with time, they’ll overcome that too. The couple first needs to figure out what caused that lack of intimacy and then start working on finding the best possible solution to deal with it.
How Long Can A Sexless Relationship Last?
To be honest, no one can predict that. However, most sex therapists and relationship experts agree that a couple can survive in a sexless marriage/relationship for around a year.
After that, one or both of them will try to fulfill their sexual needs with another person.
They will be aware that their relationship is anything but healthy, and they’ll decide to go separate ways.
Is Lack Of Intimacy A Reason To Break Up?
Lack of intimacy is a very serious relationship problem, but it should never be a reason to end a relationship. Lack of love is the only good enough reason for a couple to break up.
Everything else can be overcome with a little bit of effort and willingness to work on the relationship. If a couple can’t solve it by themselves, they can always try sex therapy.
Of course, if this issue continues and the couple gives up on trying to find a way to fix it, it may become a reason to end the relationship. The truth is, if the couple doesn’t give a damn about saving their relationship, it was doomed a long time ago.
In The End
Usually, people think that when the intimacy stops in a relationship, it’s the end of that relationship. However, it doesn’t have to be.
If both sides are ready to work on overcoming that issue between them, they’ll manage to save their relationship. And not just that, they’ll forget about this period as if it never even happened.
With the help of a relationship counselor and those close to them, the couple will be able to leave this all in the past. There is no problem that could ever stand between two people who honestly love each other.