When you know you know. This is a phrase I’ve heard so many times in my life, often unsure of what exactly it’s supposed to mean. How do you know exactly?
This bugged me for a while, so I decided to do some research. Like a lot of you out there, I am a sucker for love.
This has propelled me to dig deeper and get to the bottom of this enigmatic saying.
Turns out there’s a lot to be said about this. As we’re all aware, real love takes continuous work, effort and understanding.
It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. There’s a gray area in-between that ultimately makes or breaks you.
During conversations with different people, I was most curious to find out how you can be sure that you’ve found someone who’s worth all the sacrifices.
How do you know for sure that this is the right person who’ll show you what true love really is? And what I found out truly opened my eyes.
After numerous talks with my best friends and family, I was finally able to understand this saying a bit better.
If you care to find out whether what you have is just infatuation or a healthy relationship in the making, I’ve got the answers you’re looking for.
It’s difficult to guarantee perfect compatibility in your new relationship but these 20 good signs will show whether what you have is the real thing or a passing fling.
The True Meaning Of When You Know You Know
Fairy tales aren’t real but when you finally feel that click with someone, you stop caring about perfection.
When you’re with the right person, you roll with the punches, knowing you’ve got the best companion along for the ride. And according to my research, this is how you know you’ve found them.
You don’t feel a compulsion to hide any part of you
For perhaps the first time ever, you feel free to be your true, authentic self.
You no longer feel any need to hide a part of you that might scare them away. Why? Because this person doesn’t scare easily.
They love your quirkiness, your chatterbox personality, your inability to stay quiet when you get upset and even your sudden mood swings.
With them, you feel completely liberated to be who you are when you are alone together. And that is the ultimate sign that you’ve found yourself a keeper.
You enjoy spending time together but equally value your time apart
The thing all experts say is a fundamental rule for a romantic relationship is the ability to enjoy time apart.
Yes, this person is your soulmate but you still nurture the life you have outside your relationship.
You are both perfectly okay with the other one spending time with friends and family. After all, you are the one they’re coming back home to.
You’re on the same page when it comes to your future
It’s important that all couples are able to discuss their future.
It’s not a good sign if you secretly know that your visions clash so you avoid talking about it altogether. For this to work, you need to be on the same page.
Naturally, this isn’t something you’ll discuss on your first date. But eventually, the topic should arise and you need to be able to handle it maturely.
This is the rest of your life you’re talking about.
Don’t you deserve someone who feels the same way as you about how to spend it? And if you’ve found it, that is how you know.
Your fights are rare but always fair
You know that it’s not about winning. A fight is about finding a common resolution that will benefit you both.
Nobody should come out victorious as it’s all about you and them against the issue.
Few couples really get this but those who do have the best chance of going the distance.
When you fight fairly, you know that you’ve got each other’s best interests at heart.
Sometimes, during fights, you’ll think to yourself: I don’t even know who you are but even then, you’d never think to say something you know you’ll regret. Eventually, it all works out.
You take each other’s opinions into account about everything
When you know you know, and this is one of the best examples. Your partner asks for your opinion and actually takes it into account, as do you.
You will never do stuff without checking with them first, as you know that it’s not how it works.
You’re a united front and you value each other’s input on every subject that concerns your relationship.
You’ve felt an uncanny sense of closeness from the get-go
Ever since high school or college (or whenever you met), you’ve felt an unusual sense of closeness. Something you’d never felt before.
This gave you the push you needed to really pursue this love story. And what do you know?
It turned out to be one for the ages. The feeling you’ve been immersed in since day one has only gotten stronger.
Today, you love them more than you ever thought possible.
And the funny thing is, you never believed you could love them more than you did back then but life sure has proved you wrong.
You both gladly put in the effort to make it work
The biggest cornerstone of a romantic relationship is the effort that both partners need to put in and this is a two-way street.
If you are the only one trying hard to push through the dark times and they couldn’t be bothered, it will never survive.
However, when you’re with the right person, the effort is real on both sides. It’s always fifty-fifty.
Heck, on days when you feel low, it’s eighty-twenty because they’re always there to take the burden off your shoulders when you need it.
You make sure to never go too long without seeing each other
Even if your relationship has to survive a distance as far as New York to L.A., you make it a point to see each other regularly.
If it’s been two weeks, one of you is hopping on the first flight for some much-needed quality time. Why?
Because when you know you know!
Some people are worth the distance. And it’s never crossed your mind to let something like that affect your relationship. Your love trumps all the miles between you.
You never flake on each other – your commitment to them beats everything else
Nothing says I love you like always being there. But not because you feel like you have to but because you truly want to.
No matter what your day is like, you’re always going to make an effort to keep to the plans you made.
Sure, some days, it really just can’t be done (and they get it) but you’ll always have them in the back of your mind.
To me, that’s what real love is all about. There are no silly excuses as to why you won’t be able to make it. Why?
For the sole purpose of genuinely wanting to make it!
You never feel nostalgic about your singlehood
You don’t miss being a single person one bit!
Sometimes, you browse through your social media photos from your single days and you just feel a sense of relief that this is no longer the case.
You’ve never really felt that way before.
In the past, it always reminded you of simpler and happier times but now, you just feel so utterly blessed that you don’t ever have to walk through life alone again.
You’ve met each other’s families and friends (and you all get along great)
From I don’t even know who you are to What on earth would I do without you (and your fam)!
Who’d have thought that you’d meet someone whose family would genuinely feel like your family?
A few years ago, you didn’t even know they existed and now, you have so many people who you care about on their side. And that’s a sign that you’ve met the one.
You don’t find it burdensome to visit their folks. Quite the contrary!
You’ve developed a really unique bond with their siblings and their parents adore you.
You’re comfortable letting your vulnerability show and vice versa
No matter how vulnerable you are around your partner, they will never hurt your self-esteem.
It’s okay to be broken and it’s okay to feel lost. They encourage you to let it all out.
The right person will never make you feel like you’re being annoying for being sad.
They understand that it’s not always going to be smooth sailing and they’re always your shoulder to cry on.
You don’t feel the need to fill every silence with words
This is real life, not fantasy land. And guess what?
You’re not always going to have something to say but that’s the beauty of it. You won’t even feel the need to.
People who share a strong emotional and mental connection understand that you can enjoy being together without needing to talk all the time.
The quiet is just as comfortable as a riveting conversation.
When you get to a place where this is perfectly normal, comfortable even, there’s no question whether you’re with the right person. The quiet says it all.
There’s an emotional, mental and physical connection
There’s a genuine connection between you. When you’re with them, it’s as if you can read each other’s mind.
When they’re sad, you’re sad. And the thing is, they don’t even have to say it. You feel it every time.
They’re your best friend on Earth and you can feel it in your bones that you’d be crushed if something ever happened to them.
They are probably the only person in the world who gets you completely.
A lot of people think they do but your partner is the only one who knows you inside out. It’s scary, daunting and simply marvelous.
You trust each other with everything
You’d trust them with your life; that’s never even in question.
If you were in a grave situation and had only one phone call, you’d call them because you know they’d pick up.
Somehow, you just feel that you’re always safest in their hands. And the thing is, it’s hard to pinpoint why.
While there are so many reasons, somehow, none of them can quite encapsulate it right.
You accept and embrace their flaws and imperfections
Don’t you know that there’s no such thing as perfection? No matter how hard you try, you’ll never find a perfect partner.
There will always be that one annoying habit that they just won’t be able to break or a silly catchphrase you’ll wish they’d stop throwing around.
When you realize that you can’t change a person, that’s when you get what true love is.
Love is being there for them despite all their flaws and imperfections. Love is standing by their side even when you want to strangle them (but not really).
Love is messed up but when it’s real, you just don’t care.
Their mere presence makes you feel happy and fulfilled
It’s the little things that make all the difference. You don’t need grand gestures or constant proclamations of love.
You just need them to physically be there. That’s it.
When they’re by your side, you feel whole. There’s nothing you need, want or crave.
Their presence is all you’ll ever need to be happy in life. It might sound silly or even cheesy but when you know you know.
Also, when you’re not together, you notice those signs someone is thinking about you and you know that someone is them.
You make each other laugh more than anyone else can
You make each other LOL without even trying. To me, humor is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship.
You can’t always be serious. Who’s going to cheer you up when life gets you down?
When you need an instant pick-me-up, you know who to call. And with them, laughter comes so easily.
That’s because they know you so well. They know what makes you tick and what will make you pee your pants laughing.
The most boring things are super exciting when you’re together
A simple thing like a trip to the grocery store suddenly seems so fun and this is something I totally stand by.
When you’re with the right person, you’ll have fun no matter what you’re doing.
Taking a stroll down the riverside, picking up your dry cleaning or buying your weekly groceries.
It’s fun all around. You don’t even have to say anything, you’ll just giggle knowing what they’re thinking.
During times like these, when you’re happy doing absolutely nothing, it becomes crystal clear why this person is tailor-made for you.
Their happiness is your happiness
When they’re sad, you’re sad. When they’re happy, you’re over the moon.
Their joy makes you happier than your own and that is a sign of love in its truest form.
You don’t need constant signs of affection or material stuff. All you need is your best friend in tow, and you’re the happiest clam there is.
No one’s happiness has ever mattered as much as theirs.
When You Know You Know Quotes
Enjoy these inspiring quotes that reflect what real love is for different people.
If you find yourself in any of them, share them with your better half and be proud of what you have.
1. “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”―Brené Brown
2. “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”―Unknown
3. “I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”―Pablo Neruda
4. “It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.”―John Joseph Powell
5. “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”―Neil Gaiman
6. “Love is not a maybe thing, you know when you love someone.”―Lauren Conrad
7. “Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”―Unknown
8. “Everyone always wants to know how you can tell when it’s true love, and the answer is this: when the pain doesn’t fade and the scars don’t heal, and it’s too damned late.”―Jonathan Tropper
9. “There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”―Sarah Dessen
10. “Love, like everything else in life, should be a discovery, an adventure, and like most adventures, you don’t know you’re having one until you’re right in the middle of it.”―E.A. Bucchianeri
11. “You don’t love someone because they’re perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they’re not.”―Jodi Picoult
12. “I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.”―Steve Maraboli
13. “True love isn’t expressed in passionately whispered words, an intimate kiss or an embrace; before two people are married, love is expressed in self-control, patience, even words left unsaid.”―Joshua Harris
14. “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.”―Robert Fulghum
15. “When forever becomes a place… when forever ceases to be just a word… when it ceases to be just a measurement of time… but instead becomes a place where soul mates can dance to the song in their hearts… that is a reflection of true love.”―Steve Maraboli
16. “When someone loves you, the way they talk about you is different. You feel safe and comfortable.”―Jess C. Scott
17. “True love is taking the risk that it won’t be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with the man who loves you for who you are, and saying, ‘I’m not afraid to believe in you.’”―Cara Lockwood
18. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”―1 Corinthians 13:4-8
19. “I’m done. I don’t need anything more out of life. I have you, and that’s enough.”―Alessandra Torre
20. “My point is that when you fall in love it’s with a real person with flaws. Not with a perfect character from a fairy tale.”―Mette Ivie Harrison
When you know you know. There’s no second-guessing.
Just a click you’ve never felt before and everything that went wrong in your previous relationships is now on the right track.
The words can’t quite do it justice. While the above signs perfectly explain what real love is, you just have to feel it.
And if you do, congrats! Enjoy it, nurture it and choose it every single day.