Cómo detectar y detener el Love Bombing en 15 sencillos pasos

It does happen: you meet someone, and from the very first moment on, you think it’s the real deal. And the best part is that they feel the same way.

Así, en lugar de tomarse las cosas con calma, su relación sentimental avanza a una velocidad increíble.

They say they love you right away, they’re showering you with gifts and compliments, and before you know it, your romance has become very very serious.

Yes, things like this do happen. But I hate to break it to you: they’re extremely rare.

So, if you’ve found yourself in a similar situation, it’s actually more likely that you’re experiencing something called love bombing. No, it’s not a good thing – on the contrary, it’s quite toxic.

I know because I’ve been there. I thought that I’d finally encontré mi alma gemelapero después de un tiempo, todos mis sueños estallaron como una burbuja.

Nevertheless, as painful as this experience was, I’m glad I had it. Now, I can help all of you who are sadly going through the same thing without even being aware of it.

If you read on, you’ll find out everything you need to know about love bombing: the meaning of love bombing, why it happens, how to notice the red flags, and most importantly – how to save yourself from this unhealthy relationship.

¿Qué es el Love Bombing?

According to a definition for love-bombing, it’s an attempt to manipulate and controlar a la otra persona con un uso excesivo de la atención y amor falso.

In this scenario, the love bomber is the abuser – even though they aren’t physically violent – and the other person is the victim.

Simply put, when someone is love bombing you, they show high interest in you, act like you’re the center of their world, and lavish you with attention, gifts, and compliments.

What’s wrong with that, you must be wondering? Isn’t this what we’re all secretly searching for?

Well, the thing is that none of it’s honest.

Por el contrario, el bombardero del amor hace todo esto para obtener poder sobre su víctima. En realidad, se trata de una técnica narcisista y manipuladora extremadamente peligrosa que, por desgracia, es muy difícil de detectar.

Sasha Jackson, a therapist and licensed clinical social worker (LCSW), says: “Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection, with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.”

Véase también: La cruda realidad de ser víctima de un bombardeo amoroso y luego de un fantasma

Narcisista Love Bombing Signos

Entonces, ¿es bombardeo de amor even possible to spot in time? The answer is yes, but it’s very rare for the victim to see all the red flags right away.

Even when your intuition is telling you that something is off, you refuse to believe it. After all, isn’t it easier to live in a fantasy and think that you’ve finally found someone to love you the way you deserve?

Pero a veces hay que quitarse las gafas de color de rosa y mirar a la realidad a los ojos, por mucho que duela.

Demasiada atención y demasiadas expectativas

When you think about your exes, most of them didn’t pay you enough attention, am I right? So you ask yourself if it’s even possible to be getting too much attention from someone.

At first, this seems ungrateful, but in this type of abusive relationship, you’ll be getting too much attention and affection. And let’s be clear about one thing: we’re talking about a new relationship.

Is it really natural for a person you’ve just met to call and text you all the time? Didn’t they have a life before they entered yours?

And the worst part is that they expect the same in return. They demand your undivided attention, expect love letters, get upset when you avoid public displays of affection…

Patrones de comportamiento de acosador

De repente, tu nueva pareja está en todas partes. Pasan a sorprenderte en la hora de la comida y empiezan a desayunar en ese sitio que está justo enfrente de tu edificio.

At first, you found it cute. Nevertheless, as time goes by, you feel like they’re stalking you.

Pues bien, tu intuición no se equivoca, y ésta es sin duda una de las señales de advertencia del bombardeo amoroso.

While they’re trying to convince you that they can’t spend a second without you, they’re actually being possessive.

They’re controlling your every move under the guise of being romantic. If this is not a red flag of a toxic relationship, I don’t know what is.

Amor desmesurado

How soon is too soon to say “Te quiero“? I know you’ve probably watched tons of romantic movies that made you believe in love at first sight.

Even though I’m not claiming it’s impossible to fall in love right away, you have to admit that it’s pretty rare.

But on the other hand, that’s exactly what’s happening to you. Your partner exaggerates with their expressions of love.

They write you love notes, post your photos all over their social media profiles, recite poems, give you lavish gifts, send tons of emojis at the end of every text, introduce you to all of their friends and family members…

¿Es ésta la fase de luna de miel o una señal de advertencia de una relación tóxica?

“Divine connection”

Don’t we all want to meet our soulmate and llama gemela? Bueno, su abusador narcisista lo sabe, y lo usará en tu contra.

Intentarán convencerte de que estáis hechos el uno para el otro y de que esto es amor verdadero. Que se trata de una conexión divina y que el destino os ha unido.

But that’s not all. They’ll probably gather more information on you, so they can build a fake personality that resembles yours.

Once you realize how “similar” you two are, you’ll believe in this union even more.

Presión para comprometerse

En bombardero del amor doesn’t have much time. Quieren engañarte para que te comprometas con ellos lo antes posible, antes de que tengas la oportunidad de descubrir sus verdaderos colores.

That’s why you can expect a marriage proposal in just a few weeks after the new relationship starts. If not that, they will definitely pressure you to commit in other ways without waiting for you to be ready for the next step.

Sin límites

¿Cuántos mensajes de texto y llamadas recibe al día? Tú y yo sabemos que la respuesta es: demasiados.

The point is that this person doesn’t allow you to have privacy. They don’t respect your personal space and time, and they expect you to throw away your individuality completely.

Trust me: there is nothing romantic about this. In fact, it’s toxic and extremely dangerous.

¿Qué ocurre después?

Up until now, things don’t seem so alarming, do they? Well, this is when things get rough, and here is exactly how it progresses:

Te sientes abrumado y asfixiado

After a while, it’s completely natural for you to feel burdened. As much as you love the other person, you can’t stand this much pressure anymore.

At the same time, you’re staying silent about this. The last thing you want is to insult your partner by telling them to back off.

Dependencia emocional

Aquí es donde dependencia emocional entra en juego. Te guste o no, toda esta atención y afecto te está dando algún tipo de validación.

You’re worthy of someone’s love, and that realization skyrockets your low self-esteem.

Of course, you’re still not aware that this is actually an introduction to emotional abuse and that you’re becoming emotionally dependent on this person.

Suplicar atención

When this happens, your abuser suddenly changes their ways. They’ve made you addicted, and they have you right where they wanted you all along.

Now, they withhold their love and affection and bring devaluation into the picture. At the same time, you’re ready to do whatever it takes to get back to the honeymoon phase.

That’s when the real juegos mentales start. You’re willing to agree to different emotional blackmailings, and you’ll do whatever they want you to, just to get the validation you became so dependent on.

Cómo detener el Love Bombing

Looking at things from this perspective, it looks like you’re doomed. Getting out of this mess will be hard, but trust me – it’s possible. Here is how to do it:

Don’t pay attention to those who offer too much

En primer lugar, ten cuidado. Ten en cuenta que el bombardeo amoroso existe y evita a los que ofrecen demasiado.

Odio reventar tu burbuja, pero si alguien es demasiado bueno para ser verdad, probablemente tenga algo raro. I’m not telling you to be skeptical about everyone you meet, but don’t get your hopes up too soon either.

La honestidad es siempre la respuesta

Si sientes que alguien va demasiado deprisa, te asfixia o te pide demasiado, sé sincero al respecto. Antes de nada, sé sincero contigo mismo.

Admite lo que sientes y mira qué puedes hacer al respecto. El siguiente paso es sincerarte también con tu pareja.

No, you’re not ungrateful, and you’re not throwing away your only chance at happiness. You’re just following your intuition.

Don’t allow your loyalty to become your slavery

Remember this: you don’t owe anyone anything. You’re not obligated to stay in an relación malsana sólo porque la otra persona te haya declarado su amor o te haya comprado un regalo caro.

It’s one thing to be loyal and faithful, but it’s completely different to keep on destroying your mental wellness because of a sense of duty.

Cortar los lazos es una práctica de salud mental

When you’re dealing with a love bomber who is padece un trastorno narcisista de la personalidadno te queda más remedio que cortarlas para siempre.

Trust me: they’ll ignore all of your pleas, and they’ll continue with their toxic practices so long as they have access to your life.

That’s exactly why you have to kick them out for good.

This is hard to do while you’re being love-bombed because the abuser will probably usar gaslightingchantaje emocional y agresión pasiva para atraerte aún más a sus redes.

Nevertheless, once you realize what’s going on, I suggest you run for your life because it’s the only way to really save yourself.

El amor propio es la clave de la felicidad

Having a healthy relationship with yourself is mandatory – regardless of whether you’re being love-bombed or not. You see, when you know your worth, it’s impossible to get trapped in this poisonous cycle of validation and devaluation.

Es más fácil decirlo que hacerlo, lo sé. Bueno.., aprender a quererse a uno mismo comienza con pasos de bebé.

You have to decide to put yourself and your mental health first – no compromise. Pamper yourself and work on becoming the best possible version of the person you used to be.

Una vez que empieces a sentirte realmente bien en tu propia piel, ningún narcisista podrá darte o quitarte la sensación de valor.

There’s no shame in asking for help

Finally, please don’t feel guilty for being love-bombed, keeping in mind that you’re probably not their primera víctima and that you’re dealing with a trained professional in manipulation.

This is a serious matter, and that’s exactly why I’m begging you to ask for help if you see that you have trouble healing on your own.

Los psicoterapeutas que han trabajado en casos similares sabrán exactamente cómo ayudarte de la forma adecuada. Créeme: ¡no es ninguna vergüenza pedir ayuda!

Para concluir

You don’t have to have a PhD in romance to see how unhealthy and potentially dangerous love bombing is.

Sí, tomar conciencia de ello es difícil. Huir de ello es aún más difícil.

But both can be done – especially with the knowledge you possess now after reading this article.

Please, be smarter than I was and learn from my mistakes! Don’t wait for something like this to happen to you before you learn your lesson.