Cómo superar una relación en 10 sencillos pasos
When you’re going through a devastating breakup, all you want to know is how to superar una relación que acaba de terminar. ¿Existe un hechizo mágico que pueda ayudarte? ¿Existe una receta secreta para aliviar el dolor y ayudarte a dejar el pasado en el pasado?
Tengo que decepcionarte, pero la respuesta es no. No obstante, hay personas como yo que han pasado por lo mismo y son la prueba viviente de que la curación y la dejarse llevar es posible.
A diferencia de ti, yo tuve que pasar meses averiguando cómo arreglar mi corazón roto. Pero al final, me enseñé a mí mismo cómo hacerlo.
Y esta es tu oportunidad de aprender de mi experiencia. So pay close attention to what you’re about to read because it’s the closest thing to that magic formula you’ve been asking about.
10 formas de superar una relación
Letting an ex go isn’t something you do effortlessly. It’s a process, and if you haven’t done it before, you need detailed guidance.
That’s exactly what you’re about to get. Aquí tienes un programa detallado de 10 pasos sobre cómo superar una relación.
1. Tomar una decisión definitiva
I hate to break it to you, but starting this process the healthy way is probably the hardest step. I’m not talking about the tough conversation you have to have with your ex or about finding a new significant other.
I’m talking about the conversation you must have with yourself before anything else. Remember one thing: you’re the one that matters the most here.
That’s why you have to be 100% sure that you want to rompa con su pareja. Don’t do it in the heat of the moment just because you two had a nasty argument a few hours ago or because you’re overwhelmed with temporary anger.
Ten en cuenta que se trata de una decisión seria y debes tomarla con calma.
Uno de los primeros errores que la gente comete en este punto es romper por despecho. Quieres dejar a tu SO solo para vengarte de él.
They’ve hurt you, and you see this as the best way to break their heart. Trust me – it’s not.
Also, don’t do it if you expect them to come back running after you. Forget about the entire Si amas a alguien, déjalo ir philosophy; your final goal is not to test their love. This is just your ego talking, and it shouldn’t be a part of your decision-making process.
How to know it’s the right call
Pero, ¿cómo saber si romper con alguien es lo correcto? Resulta especialmente difícil darse cuenta de ello cuando todavía hay sentimientos fuertes de por medio (sobre todo si son uno de los tres amores en la vida como tu primer amor).
Don’t worry – I won’t tell you to completely disregard your emotions while making this call. Yes, that would be the smart thing to do, but it’s hardly possible.
No obstante, Les pediré que se centren en su compatibilidad. Pregúntate si tu romance tiene futuro.
¿Esta persona te hace sentir feliz? ¿Estás con ellos sólo por costumbre? ¿Se han convertido en tu zona de confort o realmente te ves envejeciendo a su lado?
Imagina tu vida sin ellos
Here’s an experiment. Try picturing your future without your partner. Yes, it hurts at first. After all, you’ve spent a lot of time together, and that’s perfectly normal.
Pero, ¿te ves más feliz? ¿Te ves más libre? ¿Te ves disfrutando más de la vida?
If that’s the case – it’s es hora de dejar ir esta relación. Just remember once more: don’t plan on going back once you make this decision.
2. Tears are words your heart can’t express
Cuando preguntas a la gente cómo superar una relaciónMuchas personas te dirán que te endurezcas y que te comportes como un adulto ante esta situación. Por supuesto, esto significa que debes actuar como si nada hubiera pasado y seguir adelante con tu vida en un abrir y cerrar de ojos.
Pues déjame decirte que no hay absolutamente nada de madurez en manejar una ruptura así. Este consejo solo te ayudará a posponer tu dolor.
Reprimir las emociones
Let’s be real: most people are embarrassed about their pain. They’re ashamed to show pain when their romantic relationship ends. They don’t want to be perceived as weak and vulnerable.
So what do they do? They bury their negative emotions as deeply as they can. They expect the pain to magically vanish if they pretend it’s not there.
Well, newsflash: the healing process doesn’t work that way. In fact, repressing your emotions can only worsen the situation.
¿Cómo? Cuando reprimes tus emociones, acaban saliendo. Cuando menos te lo esperas, exploran justo en tu cara.
Puede ser soñando con tu ex all the time, calling other people their name, or something like that. Either way, that’s your subconscious telling you to handle your repressed emotions.
For that not to happen, please let yourself heal the healthy way. If you feel like crying, then cry. If you feel like screaming will help, then that’s exactly what you should do.
Your heartbreak left you in pain, and this is your body and mind’s natural reaction to everything you’ve been through. After all, you’re just a human being, so don’t be hard on yourself just because you have human reactions.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’ll spend eternity crying and lamenting over your sad faith. But for starters, see it as a part of your self-care.
3. Conseguir un sistema de apoyo
Getting over your past relationship hurts. It hurts so much that sometimes, you won’t be able to pull it off by yourself.
And that’s perfectly okay. No hay nada vergonzoso en pedir ayuda y permitir que otros te echen una mano cuando lo necesitas.
This doesn’t make you weak or soft. After all, that’s what your loved ones are there for.
Please, tell your best friends and closest family members you’re going through a tough post-breakup period. Don’t be ashamed to tell them that you need them and that you could really use them as a shoulder to cry on.
Come on – I’m sure you’d do exactly the same thing for them as well. The truth is that you can’t expect them all to be at your service 24/7 and leave their lives aside just because you’re in an emergency. But I’m sure nobody will turn you down.
Nuevos amigos y nuevas aficiones
Además, esto podría ser un gran oportunidad de conocer a algunos nuevos amigos. Tienes todo ese tiempo libre que antes malgastabas con tu ex, así que es la mejor oportunidad para redirigir tu energía hacia otro lado.
¿Por qué no crear un nueva afición ¿también? It won’t just help you meet new people – it will also keep your mind off your initial problem.
La relación que tienes contigo mismo
But at the end of the day, what matters most is having a healthy relationship with yourself. I deeply encourage you to rely on your best friends and family members for help, but even though you might not be aware of it, you’re your own strongest support system.
Déjame contarte un pequeño truco. Try treating yourself the way you’d treat a friend who’s going through a breakup.
¿Qué les diría? ¿Qué consejo les darías?
I bet you’d spoil the hell out of them. You’d probably eat ice cream and binge-watch their favorite TV show, am I right?
Les dejarías llorar desconsoladamente. Les oirías hablar sin parar de su relación anterior.
Well, what’s stopping you from treating yourself the same?
Ayuda profesional
If nothing works out, and if your healing process is taking too long, don’t hesitate to ask for professional help. Sí, el tiempo lo cura todo, but why wouldn’t you talk to someone who knows what you’re going through?
Muchos expertos en relaciones specialize in this topic and who’ll tell you exactly how to move on from a relationship.
What is even more important, if you see that all of this is taking a massive toll on your mental health, please go see a professional. No, nobody will think that you’re crazy.
On the contrary, it’s the mature thing to do when you are dealing with a lot.
4. Encontrar la fuerza para perdonar
Forgiving those who’ve done us harm is one of the most difficult things in the world. There they are – the person who broke your heart and who tore you to pieces.
And now you’re expected to be perfectly fine with it? Should you just start acting like they hadn’t destroyed you and like their behavior hadn’t left an unerasable mark on your heart and soul?
Sounds impossible, I know. But that’s exactly what you’ll do.
Not many have the ability to forgive. Only great souls are capable of doing so, and that’s who you are.
Look, forgiveness won’t come overnight. You can’t force yourself to do it, but you can direct yourself towards it.
¿Por qué es importante el perdón?
Pero ¿por qué es tan importante encontrar la fuerza para perdonar? ¿Merecía tu perdón la persona que te hizo tanto daño?
¡De ninguna manera! But you won’t be doing it for them – you’d be doing it for yourself.
Yes, you’ll forgive them even if they never apologize, even if they didn’t have the decency to say “I’m sorry.”
Básicamente, aquí tienes dos opciones: Puedes dejar que la amargura te coma vivo. Puedes vivir en el pasado, abrumado por el odio y la ira. O puedes dejarlo ir y seguir adelante.
But let me tell you something: this resentment doesn’t impact your ex in any way. It doesn’t do them any harm, and you’re not serving them any revenge.
The only person you’re harming with these negative emotions is yourself. They’re turning you into a toxic person. Most importantly: they’re keeping you mentally trapped in your relationship.
That’s why letting go of a relationship is crucial. You have to let go of every single feeling related to this person, including all the grudges.
5. La autoculpabilidad es el camino al infierno
Sin embargo, hay algo aún más importante que perdonar a tu ex: el autoperdón.
Falling into the trap of self-accusations is quite common in the post-break-up phase for a lot of people. You can’t help but wonder if you could have done something to prevent this from happening.
Algunas personas empiezan a culparse por haber entablado esa relación. Esto es especialmente cierto en el caso de relaciones románticas con gente tóxica.
How come I didn’t see who they were in the beginning? How could I have been so blind to all the banderas rojas delante de mis narices?
Why didn’t I leave earlier? Why did I let them treat me that badly for so long?
Why didn’t I choose a better pareja? Why did I hope I’d change them?
The important thing in this situation is to understand that what is done is done. You can’t turn back time, and you can’t erase the past, so why waste any energy on it?
Besides, if you were involved in a toxic relationship, remember that you were the victim here. You can’t be to blame for allowing your abuser to get the best of you – the responsibility is all theirs.
Otro patrón común de autoculpabilización se refiere a tu incapacidad para salvar la relación.
Did I leave too soon? Was there anything that could’ve been done about it? Did I make the right choice? Was it me? Am I actually responsible for the breakup?
In this case, keep in mind that you did everything in your power for things not to end. I’m sure you’ve put all of your efforts into this relationship, but the end was inevitable. It was doomed to fail, and if you hadn’t left, it would only have destroyed you as well.
No, you weren’t selfish for choosing your happiness over your romantic relationship. You saved yourself, and that was the right thing to do.
Así que.., por favor, perdónate por cada pequeño error que hayas cometido. You didn’t know better at the time, and you did everything from the bottom of your heart.
Lecciones valiosas
Ya sabes lo que dicen: The most valuable lessons aren’t taught – they’re experienced. Well, that’s exactly what you did: you experienced your relationship and the heartbreak that came afterward.
Apuesto a que todo eso te enseñó mucho más de lo que puedes ver ahora. Así que en lugar de centrarte en todo lo malo, considéralo una oportunidad para aprender.
En lugar de centrarte en todo el bagaje emocional y los traumas, presta atención a todo lo bueno que te aportó esta relación.
Ante todo, ahora, you know exactly what you want and don’t want from the opposite sex. Your standards are very clear, and I’m sure you won’t settle for less ever again.
And let’s not forget the most important thing: esta experiencia te hizo mucho más fuerte. Now you see how much you can handle, and you’re not scared of anything life might throw your way.
Todos los peligros del juego de la culpa
I can’t stress this enough: Don’t even think of engaging in any kind of juego de culpas con tu ex. This also applies to the situation when you’re still technically together, and you’re getting the strength for the breakup.
What’s the point of it all? You’ve both done your share of work, and you won’t accomplish anything if you toss the blame ball around.
En realidad, sólo hará que ambos se sientan peor. A fin de cuentas, ¿realmente importa quién tiene la culpa?
6. El no contacto es el camino a seguir
Moving on from a serious relationship means you can’t stay friends with your ex. And I really mean it!
This wasn’t a casual fling with no emotions. You shared a life with this person. How do you expect to supera a tu ex if they’re still around?
Some people think that staying close to each other is an easier way of healing. Trust me – it’s not.
Actually, every relationship expert will tell you the same: going no-contact is the only sane way to go. It’s the thing you won’t hesitate to do if you want what’s best for your emotional and mental well-being.
There should be no good morning and good night texts, no checking up on each other, no asking your mutual friends about their whereabouts, no “accidentally” meeting one another at “your place,” no making excuses to stay in touch…
Sin contacto significa ningún contacto.
Trust me – if you keep this person out of your sight, you’ll keep them out of your heart and mind as well. It’s literally impossible to get over them if they’re still physically present in your life.
I’ll be honest: this won’t be easy. You’ll miss them like hell, and you’ll feel the urge to contact them all the time.
Pero tienes que ser fuerte. Por favor, recuerda que esto es por tu propio bien. Haz todo lo posible para no pensar en what they’re going through during no contact!
Redes sociales
We’ve come to the real questions: ¿Qué pasa con redes sociales? ¿Es necesario bloquear a tu ex en todas sus cuentas? ¿O es de mala educación hacerlo?
Well, it all depends. If you plan on posting stories directed to them, and if you plan on obsessively waiting for their posts and checking their online status, then it’s better to block them right away.
I suppose you don’t want to do this. They’re someone you spent so much time with, and it’s kind of rude to block them, especially if you separated on good terms.
That’s why I suggest a trial period. If you’re really capable of ignoring their existence on social media, you’re free to leave them to your followers.
But if you catch yourself stalking their profiles or waiting for their reply on your story, you know what you’ve got to do.
7. Establezca sus prioridades
Sus emociones y salud mental ¡siempre es lo primero! Don’t you ever forget that!
I know it’s easy to let sadness eat you alive. It’s easy to fall into the trap of pessimism and start seeing your life as a dark tunnel without a light ahead.
But that kind of attitude won’t bring you anywhere.
That’s why you must begin practicing amor propio de inmediato. Para ser exactos, tienes que incorporar amor propio y autocuidado en su vida cotidiana.
Love yourself! Easier said than done, sure. But it’s something you learn how to do.
Once you put yourself in the first place, you’ll realize that nobody is worthy of your tears and suffering. You have to love yourself more than you loved them, which is the whole point.
Aumenta tu autoestima
Lo primero es empezar a trabajar en tu autoestima. Recuerde quién eres y quién eras antes de tu romance.
Tu relación fallida te hizo sentir no querido y no deseado, and it’s time to change that perception of yourself.
Just because things didn’t work out with one girl or guy, it doesn’t mean that you’re less worthy. First of all, your relationship status doesn’t define your value at all.
You can spend the rest of your life single (which I’m not saying will happen), but that doesn’t make people in successful love relationships better than you.
Start by focusing on your good sides. If necessary, make a list of all of your qualities and read them out loud every time you’re feeling down.
Sigue trabajando en ti mismo. Por muy buena persona que seas, siempre puedes mejorar.
But don’t engage in this self-work for the sake of getting your ex back or for the sake of your future relationships. Become the best possible version of yourself for yourself.
Trust me – once you realize how amazing you are, you’ll also understand that you mereces mucho más de lo que tu ex tenía que ofrecer.
8. Rebound relationships won’t help you heal
¿Cuándo estaré preparado para una nueva relación? ¿Me ayudará una nueva relación a olvidar la anterior?
Éstas son las preguntas que los expertos en relaciones reciben a diario. Por un lado, incluso pensar en dejar entrar a alguien nuevo en tu vida es señal de progreso.
It means that you’re capable of picturing yourself next to a new guy or a girl who isn’t your ex. Great for you!
But before we jump to any conclusions, let’s dig a little deeper and figure out where these questions are really coming from.
It’s one thing if enough time has passed since the end of a relationship. You’ve passed through all the stages of grief, and now you’re ready to get back out there and start something new.
Nevertheless, as long as you’re wondering how to move on from a relationship, you’re probably not there just yet.
It’s more likely that you want a new relationship for all the wrong reasons. Some people think it will ease their pain, some start dating in spite of their ex, and some want to continue exactly where they left off (but with another person this time).
Each one of these reasons is unhealthy. In all of these cases, a new relationship won’t help you.
Actually, what you’re looking for is a relación de rebote – a situation where you date someone new without getting over your ex.
¿Por qué es una mala idea?
¿Qué daño puede hacer? Al fin y al cabo, solo quieres divertirte un poco, y esta es la solución perfecta para distraerte.
First of all, a rebound relationship will probably get you through another heartbreak. It’s likely that you’ll be searching for your ex in every new person that crosses your path.
Of course, you won’t find them (luckily!). Sooner or later, you’ll have to admit that this is not the real deal and that you were just trying to find the perfect replacement.
Además, este no es un buen mecanismo de curación. A new relationship keeps you occupied, but at the same time, it doesn’t allow you to move on in a manera saludable.
Instead of dealing with your pain and curing it, you focus all of your energy on this new person. Well, that can’t last long. Before you know it, all of your repressed emotions will come and get you.
Finally, you’re hurting an innocent person. You’re dragging a third party into your mess without them even being aware of it.
At the end of the day, you’ll break their heart. And what does that make you? That’s right – it means you’re nothing better than your ex.
¿Cuándo estaré listo?
Nobody can tell you for sure when you’ll be ready for someone new. But I can tell you this: don’t start anything until you’re sure that your emotional baggage won’t interfere with your relación futura.
Hay tiempo de sobra para conoce a tu alma gemela. Besides, you can’t rush it as much as you might want to – it will happen when it’s meant to be.
Until then, enjoy your single life and make the most out of it. I promise you – you’ll thank me later!
9. Dar al tiempo la oportunidad de hacer su magia
Wouldn’t it be great if we could snap our fingers and stitch our broken hearts back together? But what would be the fun in that, am I right?
Whether you like it or not, healing and letting go take time. Moving on is a process that doesn’t end when we want it to.
Tiene sus etapas, y hay que pasar por cada una de ellas antes de llegar a la meta final.
So please, don’t rush yourself and tómate tu tiempo to heal. Or even better – give time enough time to do its magic.
This might sound like a corny cliché, but time really does heal all wounds.
Before you know it, you’ll notice that it has been an entire day since you thought of your past relationship. It doesn’t sound like much, but hey, one step at a time.
10. Véalo como un nuevo comienzo
Tenga esto en cuenta: el fin de una relación isn’t the end of your life. Instead, what you should do is look at it as a chance for a nuevo comienzo.
Because that’s what this situation really is. It’s a unique opportunity for a fresh start.
Now, after all this time, you’re finally free to do whatever you want with your life. You don’t have to consult anyone about your vacation, place to live, and dozens of other things.
Let’s not forget about all the energy and time you have on your hands. Of course, you can spend it all grieving over your relación fallida.
Or you can invest it in something much better – yourself. You can finally do all the things you’ve been planning to do for so long.
Start with small steps like finishing all the tasks you’ve been procrastinating doing, read that book that’s been lying on your shelf for months. After you see that you can do this, you’re ready to hit the gym, start a new hobby, or learn a new language.
It wasn’t meant to be
Trust me – God gave you this opportunity to live your life the way it’s meant to be. This person wasn’t your soulmate, and it’s better that you’ve realized this on time.
So please, stop living in the past and turn to the future. Every new day is a new chance to do something with your life, and it’s up to you how you use it.
Cómo superar una relación tóxica
It should be easier to move on from a relationship that’s not working, right? After all, you see all the red flags, and it’s clear that things will never change.
Sadly, things don’t always work that way. En realidad, incluso piensas en arreglar su relación tóxica.
The trick is that you’re trapped in this endless love-hate circle, and moving on seems impossible.
I’ll tell you the truth: it’s difficult, but it can be done. Besides taking all the steps explained above, the most important thing here is to understand that you’ll never get what you crave.
Por mucho que te mate, mata tus esperanzas. Things will never be normal, and you’ll never have a healthy relationship with this person.
Si es necesario, repítetelo una y otra vez hasta que finalmente te lo creas.
¿Cómo pasar página con alguien a quien amas?
Sólo hay una manera de alejarte de alguien a quien todavía quieres: acuérdate de quererte más. When you prioritize yourself and put your happiness in the first place, you’ll understand that leaving the person who makes you miserable is the only way to go.
But if that’s not enough, here are some more tips for moving on from someone you still have feelings for:
- Céntrate en los aspectos negativos de la relación.
- Trabaja en ti mismo.
- Sin contacto.
- Accept it wasn’t meant to be.
- Pide ayuda.
¿Cuánto tardas en superar una relación?
Los expertos en relaciones afirman que el tiempo medio hasta que la mayoría de la gente empieza a sentirse mejor tras una ruptura es de tres a seis meses. Por supuesto, todo es opcional, ya que cada persona se cura a un ritmo diferente.
Algunos consiguen superar una relación en pocas semanas. Lamento decírtelo, pero algunos tardan años en volver a la normalidad.
Lo importante es no precipitarse. Sin embargo, puede acelerar el proceso si sigue todos los pasos mencionados.
Para terminar:
Ahora que ya sabes cómo superar una relación, all you have to do is follow the entire step-by-step program, and you’re ready to go. Sounds like a piece of cake, right?
Well, I think that we both know it’s not. But hey, you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do.
All I want you to keep in mind is that this won’t be a linear process. Sometimes, you’ll take two steps forward and three steps back.
There will be good and bad days. There will be days when you’ll want to go back to your ex, at all costs. Days when you’ll think you’ll never make it.
Days when you’ll fall. But you know what the best part is? If you do everything right, you’ll always pick yourself back up!
¡Suerte! ¡Creo en ti!
