When you’ve reached the point where you’re wondering how to make him choose you over the other woman , your love life is a real mess.
You know that you shouldn’t be competing with someone else for your man’s attention, but you just can’t help it.
All you want is for the man you love to break up with this girl, so you can become the only woman in his life. However, he obviously has a problem with choosing between one woman and another.
Well, even though competing with some other girl is not something you should be doing, we’re not here to judge. Instead, we’re here to your rescue.
Here is exactly what you should do to make him pick you over all other girls in his life. Read on and you’ll find out how to make him choose you over the other woman in no time.
1. Be engaging but not needy
Most women make the same mistake over and over again when it comes to dating, regardless of the competition.
Some girls become too clingy when they find a guy they like.
They think that showing their man a lot of attention will make him realize how head over heels they are for him and will consequently, make him choose them over everyone else.
According to this logic, every person with some common sense will be with the one who cares for them and loves them.
On the other hand, some girls play too hard to get.
They think that this way, a guy of their interest will be intrigued by them and they will play with his ego to the point where he’ll make it his mission to make them his.
According to this logic, once this guy realizes that they’re actually in love with him, he’ll be head over heels for them.
Looking from two different perspectives, each one of these approaches is perfectly reasonable. Theoretically, they both make sense, despite the fact that they’re completely opposite.
However, somehow, in practice, neither of them works. Well, that’s why I’m here to reveal a trick that is actually efficient in real life.
You see, the key is in finding the perfect balance. Basically, you have to find a compromise between being engaging but not too needy.
The moment a guy sees that you’re madly in love with him, he’ll start taking you for granted. In your situation, he’ll probably end up going to the other girl who is not giving him enough attention.
On the other hand, if you play too hard to get , it’s likely that he’ll get tired of constantly chasing you around. In your situation, he’ll go to the other girl who is giving him love and comfort.
Therefore, what you need to do is show a certain amount of interest in this man. Make it clear that you want him to be yours and that your intentions are not to be his friend.
However, don’t be on his back all the time. Give him space and show him that you’re a tolerant woman with a life of her own.
Show him that choosing you would mean having a woman who cares for him deeply yet at the same time would never try to limit his freedom.
Sounds like the perfect blend, right? Well, that’s exactly what every man thinks and what will make him chase you.
2. Tease and flirt with him
Sometimes, action speaks louder than words. The same goes for romantic relationships, especially in the initial phases.
What I’m trying to say is that you should allow your body language to speak on your behalf before you verbally make your emotions or intentions clear. Play a game of cat and mouse.
For starters, use eye contact to flirt with this man. Look him deeply and seductively in the eye.
Then whenever he looks back at you, bite your lip and look away. This way, you’ll intrigue him and he won’t be certain about what you want from him, which will make him chase you even more.
Is he imagining things? Are you really looking at him as more than a friend or is it all in his head?
These dilemmas that go through his mind are beneficial for you. After all, you want him to think of you since that is a sure path to him falling in love with you.
Also, don’t forget to engage in physical contact with him.
Now I’m not saying that you should be all over this guy. So, don’t kiss him all of a sudden. In fact, your job is to inspire him towards taking the first step.
Instead, be as near to him as possible whenever you’re around. Talk to him quietly in the ear, touch his hand when you’re talking, and keep him in your arms for a bit longer every time you greet.
At first glance, this doesn’t have to mean a lot. However, trust me when I tell you that men are big fans of physical affection.
No, I’m not talking about sleeping together here only. I’m talking about other forms of intimacy as well.
You want this guy to feel safer next to you in comparison to the other woman in the game. You want him to see your hug as warmer, your jokes as funnier, and your smile as wider.
Well, every time you flirt with him, you’re impacting his subconsciousness. This way, when he remembers you, he’ll remember the butterflies he felt when you were looking at him.
3. Don’t obsess over the other woman…
When you’re trying to figure out how to make him choose you over the other woman , involuntarily this other woman becomes your obsession.
After all, you can’t help but see her as your arch enemy and obstacle to happiness. So, you can’t stop thinking about her.
Well, what you should never do is allow your guy to notice that.
I know you have the desire to talk trash about her, but trust me, it’s better to ignore her existence than to make her even more important than she already is.
You see, the number one mistake girls make in these situations is nag their guy over this other girl.
This way, even when she is not present in his thoughts, you’re putting her there, by constantly bringing her name up.
Consequently, you’re causing a counterproductive effect. After all, you want your guy to forget about her, don’t you?
How exactly do you plan to achieve that if you’re the one who keeps talking about her? Instead of achieving your final goal, you’re actually making her the third wheel in your relationship.
Besides, showing that you’re obsessed with this other woman will make this guy think that you’re insecure .
You’ll show your jealousy and only succeed in boosting his ego and assuring him that he’s this big stud.
4. …but investigate her
Nevertheless, just because you won’t mention this other girl to your man, it doesn’t mean that you should really ignore her existence.
In this situation, she is someone you need to beat, which means that all intel you might have on her is precious.
You can’t defeat your enemy when you don’t know what you’re battling against. That is exactly why it’s a good idea to investigate your opponent before making any moves.
First and foremost, visit her social media profiles. This is where you’ll learn a lot about her personality, lifestyle, and appearance.
Also, try asking around about her. I know that this sounds unfair, but digging some dirt on this woman would be jackpot.
However, whatever you do, please be careful. You don’t want her to find out that you are investigating her because that would just boost her ego and make you look like a lunatic stalker.
Remember: Your objective is to be better than her in all ways possible.
This is where you’ll need to be realistic. Try to disregard your jealousy and see this woman for who she is.
There are two possibilities here. In one case, you might see her as much worse than you. This is nothing but a defense mechanism.
Even though this approach will boost your ego, it’s not such a good thing since you’ll underestimate your enemy, which can be the cause of your final downfall.
In the other case, your insecurities might explode. You might see this girl as much better than you – more beautiful, smart, educated, interesting…
If this happens, your self-esteem will be ruined.
You won’t be able to show to your man how high quality of a woman you are, and even you yourself will think that she deserves him more than you who is not good enough.
Well, this is another situation where balance is required. That is why it’s important to be realistic about her since it’s the only way to see both her good and bad sides.
5. …and bring up her flaws
Once you learn more about this girl’s weak spots and negative sides, it’s time to use them against her. However, you’ll have to be sneaky with this one as well.
At first, you might think that this is unfair. Nevertheless, don’t forget that this is a type of war – all is fair in love and war.
Let’s put things this way: For example, you know that your guy can’t stand the fact that this other woman is nagging him about going out with his friends.
The first impulse you have is to directly criticize her behavior. You want to tell him that she’s not right and you’d never treat him that way.
Wrong! If you do this, he’ll assume that this is just the jealousy talking.
He won’t believe in your honesty but think that you’re just trying to make her look bad. Which is exactly what you’re doing. However, he shouldn’t know that.
So instead of this direct approach, let’s try something else. You were advised against mentioning this girl and this is exactly what you’ll continue to do.
In this concrete example, be patient and wait for the topic of jealousy or possessive behavior to come up.
Or if that doesn’t happen, casually mention a situation your friend is in – of course, a situation you’ll make up.
Either way, the point is that you’ll point out how you can’t understand women who are control freaks in their romantic relationships.
You’ll tell him how you enjoy your freedom and how you like it when your partner has friends.
I’m sure you see where I’m going with this. The bottom line is that you act completely clueless to the way the other woman behaves.
However, you’re subtly painting a difference between the two of you. All of a sudden, you present yourself as his dream girl who has none of the flaws that annoy him most.
6. Give him what she can’t
Now that you’re armed with information, this is the moment where you should use them to your own advantage.
The bottom line is that you’re competing with this woman and the only way to defeat her is to give your man everything she can’t.
For example, if you know that he lacks attention, that is exactly what he should be getting from you.
Many women make the mistake of trying to copy the other woman . Don’t live your own life as her clone. Instead, do the opposite of whatever she’s doing.
Most importantly, listen to your man. Show him that everything he has to say is important and that you pay attention to his needs.
Fill the voids this girl has left. Trust me: This way, he’ll feel complete next to you and realize you’re just the girl he needs.
7. Never confront her
When you’re wondering how to make him choose you over the other woman , you know you have to remove her from the equation, for the sake of happiness in your own life .
After all, your triangle toxic relationship can’t carry on like this forever, can’t it? You want a committed relationship with this man, which means there is only room for the two of you in this story.
No, this doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means that you’re putting yourself first and this is exactly what you should be doing.
So, the first impulse you have is to confront her. You see this girl as your enemy. Heck, you may even start to hate her.
You have the desire to fight her and tell her to leave your man alone. You want to kick her out of his life, one way or another, to let you two be happy.
Well, let me tell you that this is one of the worst mistakes you could ever think of making. By doing this, you’ll make her feel more relevant than she really is.
Also, you’ll show both of them that you feel threatened by her. You’ll give her power by showing her your insecurities.
Besides, your man will see you as rude and impolite, thinking you have no manners and that you’re ready to ruin your dignity just to have him.
Naturally, he won’t appreciate you afterward, even if he happens to choose you over her .
So, please, continue ignoring her. In fact, it would be great if you could do something subtle to provoke a reaction from her.
This way, you’ll appear as the victim. You’ll be in a position to ask protection from your guy while she’ll look like a true villain who is trying to destroy your true love and romance.
At the end of the day , it would be great if you could make this girl give up on your man.
For example, you can make sure she thinks that he wants to have a long term relationship with you and that she is nothing more than a third wheel in your perfect romance.
However, even if you choose to do something like this, you have to be as subtle as possible.
Send her indirect hints through your social media profiles or with the help of your mutual friends or acquaintances.
Don’t do anything directly and, whatever you do, don’t reach out to her, even if your life depended on it.
8. Show him that you’re a unique high-value woman
If you want a guy to see you as committed relationship material, you have to make him understand that you’re one of a kind.
You have to make him realize that you’re special, unique, and high-value .
That you’re nowhere else to be found and that he’ll spend the rest of his life searching for you in other women if he makes the mistake of losing you or letting you go.
So, don’t investigate the other woman you’re competing against now. Instead, widen your search to all other girls in his life.
Try finding out as much as possible about his ex-girlfriends (or about his ex-wife , if he has one).
You don’t have to necessarily show him that you’re better than them – it will be enough to convince him that you’re different.
This should intrigue him enough to at least give you a chance. He will be curious to see what you have to offer.
So please, do your best not to blend into the masses. Show him that you stand out, one way or another.
Of course, in order to do this in a successful manner, you have to get to the bottom of your man’s personality. You see, not all men are fascinated by the same things.
However, each one of them loves uniqueness and this is exactly what you should offer if you want him to pick you as the only woman for him.
9. Make a connection with him
Regardless of whether you two are in a short term or long term relationship (or if you’re in a relationship at all), please do your best to make a deep connection with this man.
Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is to become friends with him without entering the friend zone. At the end of the day , this is what every man needs : a girlfriend who is also his friend.
Sounds tricky, I know. However, it can be done if you play your cards right.
When I say that you should be his friend, I’m not telling you to become one of his pals like his male friends.
Don’t comment on other girls with him, don’t spend all of your time together watching football games and drinking beer, and definitely don’t act like a dude in front of him.
Instead, show him that you’re someone he can count on – that you’re the only person in this world who truly gets him.
Be the girl who reads his mind. The girl who pays attention to little, simple things about his life and truly listens to what he has to say.
The girl who knows what he’s thinking just by looking at him. The girl who remembers everything he’s ever told her and appreciates him.
Show him that intimacy is much more than bedroom activity. Show him the beauty of holding hands and hugging.
Most importantly, show him the value of having you around, no matter what.
Convince this guy that you’re his soulmate. Make him believe that you’ve both spent your entire lives until this moment searching for each other.
Show him that you’re his other half and that he needs your presence like the air he breathes.
10. Occupy his time
When you want a girl out of your man’s life, for starters you can’t allow her to be physically present next to them. You know how they say: Out of sight, out of mind.
Trust me, he’ll start to forget all about her the moment he spends less and less time with her. This is especially true if you’re around so he is not alone with his thoughts and has no time to think about her.
I won’t lie to you. This is a difficult step when we’re talking about a coworker or someone he is friends with .
Either way, what you should do is occupy your guy’s time as much as possible. Make sure he spends all of his free hours and days with you so he doesn’t get the chance to reach out to this other girl.
Nevertheless, this is where you have to play it smart. You can’t be too pushy because that will just chase him away.
The best possible option would be to make him call you. Find a way to manipulate him into being the one who reaches out first.
If that doesn’t work out, make excuses to be near him. Instead of directly calling him out on a first date , ask for his help.
Call him to ask him to give you advice about some made up emergency you have. Tell him that you’re in the middle of nowhere and ask him to come because you have a flat tire.
It would be great if you knew when he spends time with her. Use this information and call him at that specific hour.
Sooner or later, she’ll get tired of your presence and will leave him, even if he doesn’t fall for your bait.
11. Act like a challenge
Men love challenges. There’s no doubt about that. Men love to feel like they’ve won you over due to their incredible courting skills.
Well, this is how you should behave – like a challenge – because this is exactly what every guy needs in his life. No, this doesn’t only mean playing hot-and-cold games.
It means stepping back from him a bit the moment he thinks he’s sealed the deal. It means not being too available and never allowing this man to think that you’re not going anywhere, no matter what he does.
Basically, he can never be certain about you. Because if he is, he’ll assume that you won’t leave him and invest all of his energy into chasing this other girl.
12. Show your feminine side
Another thing every guy needs is feeling like big, macho men. Every alpha man needs his woman to see him as her savior and protector.
You want to know how to make him choose you over another girl ? Show him your feminine side. Make him think that you’re vulnerable and that you need him to guide you through life.
Of course, this is nowhere near the truth. However, trust me when I tell you he will be enchanted by the fact that you’re fascinated by him.
You see, men have a very fragile ego. Knowing this, you understand why it’s crucial to pump their ego and self-esteem in order for them to feel good about themselves.
After all, you know how all the fairytales work. You have the princess in distress and then the Prince Charming who comes to her rescue.
Well, this is the illusion you have to create if you want this guy to choose you over her for a committed relationship . If necessary, use some white lies to make him feel better about himself.
Tell him that he’s the best man you’ve ever had. Convince him that you’d be lost without his help.
Whatever you do, do not endanger his masculinity at any cost.
13. Be positive
If you want a healthy relationship , you have to build it in a positive environment. Therefore, it’s about time to put a smile on your face and embrace optimism as your lifestyle.
I know that we all have moments when we’re negative or nervous. However, while you’re in the process of winning this man over, don’t let him see this side of you.
Instead, be the light to his darkness. Bring positivity with you wherever you go and be the one who has the ability to bring joy to his worst day.
Trust me. No man likes it when you whine. In fact, every time you enter this mode, he stops listening to whatever you have to say and shuts himself off completely.
So, even if you want to call this guy on his actions, try to do so in a peaceful way. Don’t be the one picking fights all the time or be a drama queen.
Instead, laugh at his jokes and try making him laugh. When he is in a stressful situation, be the one who tells him that everything will be alright.
This way, your guy will connect the feeling of happiness with you. He’ll see you as the silver lining to his cloud. And who wouldn’t want that?
14. Look your best
Whether you like to admit this or not, the first impression guys get about you is mostly based on your appearance.
No, this doesn’t make them shallow. It’s just how things are: Every guy wants an attractive girlfriend.
After all, you have to consider a man physically attractive and handsome before you even give him a chance. Well, then there should be no hard feelings when guys act the same way.
Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to win this man over with your amazing personality and show him that you’re a high-value woman.
For now, though, do your best to knock him off his feet with your bombshell appearance.
Basically, what you have to do is try hard to look your best whenever you know you’ll see the object of your interest. Dress your best, always have makeup on, and don’t forget to smell great.
Nevertheless, there is a hidden trick in all of this. The point is that he shouldn’t notice the effort you’re putting into your appearance.
Yes, you’ll be in full makeup. However, it should all look natural.
So, instead of wearing red lipstick on all occasions, choose a lip gloss. Instead of smokey eyes during the day, go for eyeshadow in earthy tones.
The last thing you want is for this guy to think that you’re obsessed with your appearance.
Trust me, most men will perceive you as “fake” if they see you’re going all out when it comes to makeup and clothes.
Instead, you want him to assume that this is your natural look.
The same goes for clothing. No matter what, always make sure you’re dressed for the occasion.
The thing is to never allow him to realize you’ve spent hours trying on different outfits until you’ve found your perfect one.
Another important thing is to be perfectly aware of your imperfections. Don’t worry, we all have them and they certainly won’t prevent this guy from trying to chase you .
Please, don’t allow your insecurities to ruin your entire looks. Instead, be smart enough to hide your flaws and highlight your most appealing features.
Also, I’m begging you: Never look vulgar. You might think that you’ll attract your guy by showing too much skin, but trust me on this, that attraction is not a long term thing.
Whatever you wear, don’t forget that you’re a lady.
15. Make him jealous
Finally, when you’re trying to figure out how to make him choose you over the other woman , don’t forget to turn the tables a little bit. For a change, play a game .
In your situation, he’s the desirable one. He’s the one who has two women fighting over him – the one in the position to choose.
Well, show him that two can play that game. Show him that you’re also in high demand and make him jealous .
Make this man realize that he could lose you in no time if he doesn’t make up his mind and choose you for real. Show him that you have a lot of options open.
There are men out there who want to have a healthy relationship with you but here you are, trapped in this triangle toxic relationship .
I’m not saying that you should change your behavior and suddenly become promiscuous.
However, it will be enough for him to see that other guys are trying to reach out to you and that your love life doesn’t depend solely on him. If nothing else, let him see that men are texting and calling you.
Most importantly, show him that you won’t spend the rest of your life waiting for him to make the decision to break up with her.
Show him that no matter how much you care for him, your self-love will always be bigger than that which you might feel for him.
