Every couple fights, but if you’re looking up how to make it up to your girlfriend, you’ve probably done something that made her angry. Depending on how much you’ve hurt her, it might not be easy to bounce back from it.
If you escalated an argument you had or were unwilling to compromise, the situation might be easier to deal with than if you cheated on her. Still, the process is more or less the same, no matter what you’ve done.
Making it up to her might not be easy, especially if you’ve hurt her and broken her trust. It’s going to take sincerity, effort, and patience if you want to work on your relationship.
How To Make It Up To Your Girlfriend
How to make it up to your girlfriend so that she considers forgiving you? If your girlfriend is angry with you because you’ve hurt her, it might take her more time to come around. You also need to accept the possibility that she might not forgive you.
If the reason for your argument was a lack of connection and understanding, she might cool off faster, but those problems will remain and still need to be addressed. Otherwise, before you know it, you’ll be fighting again.
No matter if you’re apologizing for cheating or for something minor you’ve done, the steps to forgiveness are always the same. Here’s how to do it.
1. Listen and be patient
• Calm down
The first thing to do after an argument is to calm down. Step back, and don’t let the momentum take you so far that either of you says something that can’t be fixed. Lots of breakups happen during fights because emotions are running high, and you say things you don’t mean.
Don’t try to be right and win the argument – remember that your relationship is more important than the fight.
• Give her space
If she’s too angry to talk to you after you’ve done something that hurt her, respect her and give her some space. Let her come to terms with what’s happened and process her feelings. Being on the receiving end of her anger is hard, but at this point, you should make her feelings a priority.
Put yourself in her shoes and think about how she’s feeling because of what you’ve done.
• Be patient
She might not be ready to talk to you for a while. Be patient and wait until she’s ready to hear your apology. Even after you apologize, it might take a while for her to accept it. If you care about your relationship, you should respect that.
Give her time to think things over and a chance to process what happened, how she’s feeling, and what she wants to do. Don’t pressure her and try to convince her of anything because that will only backfire.
• Listen to her
When she’s able to talk to you, give her your full attention. Listen to what she has to say, even if she’s just telling you how angry with you she is. Let her show her feelings, no matter how upsetting they might be for you.
Don’t argue with her, don’t interrupt her, and don’t contradict her. If you pay attention to what she’s telling you, it will help you understand her point of view and her feelings.
2. Apologize
• Be sincere
When the moment to apologize after the fight comes, the most important thing is that you’re sincere about it.
If you’re not sorry that you hurt her but that you got caught, it will never work. She’ll see through it. If you’re not really sorry for what you’ve done but only want things to go back to the way they used to be, you’re only buying time until the next fight.
When you apologize, make it clear you’re sorry by showing your effort and sincerity. Don’t try to make things right through a text message or phone call, but in person. If she doesn’t want to see you, wait until she does.
• Accept that you were wrong
When you’ve done something that hurt your girlfriend, you should take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledge that you have done something wrong. Don’t justify yourself, and don’t blame the circumstances.
Even if what you’ve done might not seem like a big deal to you, it still hurt her. Don’t think about what you meant to do but about how your girlfriend feels. Whether or not you intended to hurt her has nothing to do with the fact that you did.
When apologizing, acknowledge that it was you who did something and don’t place the blame on her for feeling hurt. Don’t say things like “I’m sorry that you feel that I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry that you think I hurt you.”
Accept responsibility by saying, “I’m sorry that I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry that I did ~.”
• Admit that what you did hurt her
When you’re apologizing, acknowledge her feelings and understand her reaction if she’s upset. If she says something she doesn’t, meanwhile she’s angry or hurt, don’t take it personally.
Even before you apologize, think about what you’ve done. Try to feel empathy for her, and understand what she’s feeling and why. Try to understand why she’s feeling betrayed or neglected because of your actions.
Admit that you hurt her, and don’t try to escape it. Taking responsibility for your actions will show her that your intention isn’t just to sweep things under the rug but that you’re genuinely sorry.
• Show remorse
Be honest with her about what you’ve done. She’ll only be more upset if you lie or omit something. It’s inevitable that things will come to light sooner or later. If you try to make it seem like your actions were less bad than they were, she’ll know you’re not really sorry.
There’s a difference between remorse and just wanting to be let off the hook. Let her know that you honestly regret your actions, not because she’s mad at you, but because it was wrong and hurt her.
The message she should get from you isn’t, “I feel bad because you’re mad at me,” but “I feel bad because I hurt you.”
• Tell her you don’t intend to do it again
You need to explicitly tell her that you won’t do it again. Show her your willingness to change, especially if this wasn’t the first time you’ve done something that made her upset. If you keep repeating your actions, there will eventually come a time when she won’t be able to forgive you.
Make it clear that whatever you did, you won’t do it again, and keep your word. Don’t say, “I’m going to try to change.” This shows that you’re not sure that you won’t hurt her again, which is not good enough. Show her you’re dedicated to doing right by her.
For a healthy relationship, you need to rebuild your trust, and the first step towards that is to be determined not to repeat your mistakes.
• Ask how you can make it right
After you’ve apologized, ask her if there’s anything you can do to make it right. If you’ve done something that you can fix, do it if she says you should. Listen to her and respect her wishes to show her you value her.
She might want you to fix your mistakes or just generally treat her better. Once you tell her you’ll do something, keep your word. If it’s something that can’t be done, don’t commit to doing it. Don’t try to score brownie points by making promises you don’t plan to keep.
3. Work on your problems
Sometimes what starts as a small annoyance can turn into a serious argument. It usually means that there were underlying problems in the relationship that were bound to come up sooner or later.
Just making up won’t help because it will happen again – you need to work on your problems to fix your relationship.
In a long-term relationship, problems can pile up until it becomes impossible to fix things. Don’t sweep things under the rug if you want your relationship to last and be healthy.
• Think about why you fought
What was the reason for your fight? What did you do to hurt her? Both sides are often to blame in arguments, but if it was something you’ve done, reflect on these things carefully and try to figure out why you thought that it was okay to do what you did.
Did you do something that made her feel hurt and betrayed, like cheat on her? Make sure you understand why you thought it was okay, even when you knew that it would hurt her. If you’re committed to making your relationship work, it’s important to deal with this.
If you feel the need to make things right, you know it was your fault. Was the fight caused by a lack of affection on your part? About you not keeping your promises or responsibilities? Decide to do better, and make a plan on how you’re going to do it.
• Communicate
Don’t keep things inside because not saying what’s bothering you will only lead to grudges and resentment. Create a relationship where you can let her know when something is wrong, and she can do the same.
The way to accomplish this is to be open and willing to compromise. Communication is vital. Relationship experts always say, “Listen to each other,” but what does that actually mean?
It means that you don’t only wait your turn to say something when someone is talking, but you actually hear the other person’s feelings and concerns. If she’s telling you that you hurt her when you did something, don’t hurry to tell her that you didn’t mean to do it.
Acknowledge each other’s feelings. Don’t try to win a fight. There are no winners in an argument in a relationship. The point isn’t to win but to solve problems. Don’t let your pride ruin your relationship.
• Rebuild trust
It might take some time for your girlfriend to be able to trust you again. Take it slow and show commitment to rebuilding your relationship. You will make her trust you again if you’re constant and dependable.
When you tell her you’ll do something, do what you said you would. Don’t be flaky and unreliable. Show her that she can trust you with your actions. Be there for her and be available when she needs you.
Most importantly, don’t make the same mistake. If you’ve done something that hurt her, don’t do it again if she’s forgiven you. Be better and do better to show her that she can trust you.
• Spend time together
Spending time together will heal your relationship. Treat your girlfriend the way she deserves. Turn off your phone, don’t check your social media notifications, and give her your full attention when you’re together.
The simple things, such as listening to her talk about her day and having date nights, can make all the difference. Every day doesn’t have to feel like Valentine’s Day, but you have to show your girlfriend that you don’t take her for granted.
It’s often distance that makes couples drift apart. Giving her a small, thoughtful gift from time to time or watching your favorite TV show together while you cuddle will help you stay connected. Simply spending time together and talking can keep your relationship thriving.
Sharing your worries, thoughts, and feelings with each other and being best friends first and foremost is what will keep your relationship healthy and long-lasting. Make being attentive and caring your love language.
4. Do something for her
To make up for what you’ve done, you should prove to her that you’ll do better and show her how much she means to you. The first thing to do is to be consistent in your behavior – do the things you said you would, and don’t do things you know will hurt her.
You can do something nice for her, go out of your way for her, and be attentive, but it will all be useless if you’re not doing the basics. To make a girl feel respected and appreciated, start by keeping your promises and accepting your responsibilities.
Only then will the little things and gestures have meaning and not seem like you’re putting a band-aid on a serious wound. So after you’ve committed to treating her right and actually do it, here are some ideas to brighten her day:
• Give her flowers
Find out what her favorite flowers are and give them to her often. Don’t wait for a special occasion.
• Make her something
You can make her a commute playlist for her drive to work, print out your pictures together and put them in an album for her, or bake her cupcakes. You can make her anything – the important part is to make her something you know she’ll enjoy.
• Take her out on a picnic
Assemble a picnic basket that includes her favorite food and take her to the park.
• Buy her something
If there’s something she wants but won’t get for herself because she thinks it’s too expensive or something she needs, surprise her by getting it for her.
• Help her do something that’s on her bucket list
Is there something she often mentions she’d want to do but never seems to get to it? Help her do it by making it easy for her.
• Take her to the place you had your first date
Make her remember your early days and reawaken the romance by showing her where it all started.
• Stay in touch
Send her ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ texts. And ‘thinking of you’ texts in the middle of the day. Use unrelated emojis to make her laugh.
• Compliment her
Pay her lots of compliments. When you think she needs one, especially when she’s not feeling good about herself. Compliments make people happier and more beautiful.
• Write her a love letter
Even if you feel like you don’t know how to do it, just write about your honest feelings in simple words. She’s guaranteed to appreciate it.
• Celebrate your important dates
Remember anniversaries, birthdays, and special events, and do something to commemorate them.
• Cook for her
Feed her, and if you do the dishes after, even better. If you can’t cook, pick up a takeaway.
• Take her somewhere special
It doesn’t have to be far: a spot you like to go to when you’re feeling down or the first place you met. Take her somewhere with a view and watch the sunset.
• Give her a massage
A backrub, at least, is always welcome. Add a foot massage for a deluxe treatment.
• Help her around the house
Remember to do your chores, and don’t wait for her to remind you to do them.
• Care for her when she gets sick
Make her soup, make sure she takes her medicine, and watch over her.
• Get matching jewelry or outfits
Wearing the same bracelets, for example, or clothes that match is cute and romantic.
• Fully include her in your life
Take her to hang out with you and your friends or family. Make an effort to connect with her family and friends.
• Make her a scrapbook
Use photos and mementos to create a story about the things you do together. You can repeat this often if she likes it.
• Pay attention when she mentions something she likes
Remember the things she says she likes so you can always give her the best gifts.
• Surprise her
Show up at her workplace and take her out to lunch. Clean up without having to be reminded. Buy her a small gift just because.
• Take her on a romantic trip
Go somewhere she’s always wanted to go. Make sure to plan and book everything in advance. It will make her feel special and appreciated.
• Hang out together
Do the things she likes or the things you like. Play together: video games, sports, board games. Get silly together. Laughter heals.
• Show her you’re paying attention
Notice when she gets a haircut or changes her look. Compliment her outfit or shoes. Buy her coffee the way she likes it. Do chores you know she hates. Let her know that you see her.
• Be proud that she’s your girlfriend
Use her picture as your phone background. Talk to other people about her. Praise her personality and accomplishments.
• Take up a hobby together
You can join the gym together or take up a sport. Outdoors sports, like hiking or biking, are especially fun for couples. Take an art class together, such as painting or pottery. Start learning a foreign language together.
• Learn about something that interests her
If she has a favorite hobby, book, or band, make sure that she can talk to you about it. Showing interest in her interests will make her happy.
Make It Right
What should you do when you don’t know how to make it up to your girlfriend after you’ve made a mistake? The most important point to keep in mind is to admit you were wrong.
When you’re genuinely sorry and willing to make things right, you’ll do anything necessary to make it up to her. Acknowledge her feelings, accept that it’s your fault, and sincerely apologize.
Be determined not to do it again and do what it takes to fix your mistakes. In the process of rebuilding your relationship, do the little things that show that you care. Establish good and honest communication to keep your relationship healthy.