1. Arm yourself with positivity. You’re going into war – a war with yourself, a fight for your survival. Staying positive is the hardest thing after being in a toxic relationship. You’ve been emotionally neglected and abused for a long time so that it in a way became your surrounding.
Negativity was all around you, and now that you’ve broken free, you still feel beaten and destroyed. What you have to do after a toxic relationship is to create a negativity-free zone. You need to prove to yourself that you respect and love yourself by choosing a positive outlook in your life.
2. Being single is what you need right now. Don’t go looking for someone to heal you. Don’t look for love when you are not ready to love someone yourself. Staying single at this point when you’re hurting is essential.
Staying alone with your own thoughts and your internal struggle is something you need to go through by yourself. If you start a new relationship, it won’t help you heal—you can only destroy the person who is truly falling in love with you.
Be alone, and become friends with yourself. Listen to yourself, your needs, and your aspirations. Humor every one of them. Nurture yourself, and give your single life a chance.
3. Erase every memory of their existence in your life. Delete every photo of him you have and every text he’s ever sent you. Block him on all social media, so you won’t be tempted to check out his profile on your bad days.
You have a mind of your own; you have a voice of your own. Don’t let his toxicity mess with you, even through memories.
4. Never take back what you’ve said or what you think. In the moments of anger and when you felt abandoned, you’ve realized you were abused emotionally. In those moments, you were angry, and you’ve accepted what was happening to you and what kind of a person he is.
You’ve said things, bad things, but after the critical moment passes, don’t take those words back. Don’t justify his behavior when your head cools off. It’s as bad as it was. It’s you who is taking a different view on the situation.
5. This time, think of yourself only. You’ve been imprisoned. You’ve danced to the music he was playing. Only his wishes mattered, and you were completely ignored. Now that he’s gone, go crazy. Humor your every need and wish. Eat what you want, go where you want. In other words, spoil yourself – you deserve it.
6. Seek beauty because it’s around you. When your world is falling apart, when you’re in a bad place, it’s easy to miss the fact that the world surrounding you is a beautiful place. People get easily carried away with their own problems, and they fail to see what is around them.
When you get the chance, go outside. Go for a walk or sit on your porch and wait for the sunset. Enjoy the beautiful things nature has to offer you. It will heal your spirit and give back the energy you need to put yourself back together.
7. Bury your flaws in the past. When you break up with someone, your self-esteem hits zero. You feel worthless and rejected. So you question why you’re rejected. Is there something wrong with you?
So you start looking for flaws. Actually, all you see are flaws and reasons why you’re not good enough. Reject and bury those toxic thoughts deep in your past. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, think about how much strength you needed to have to leave the toxic relationship you were in.
A lot of women stay because they don’t see the way out. You are one of just a few of them who was brave enough to take the terrifying step into the unknown.
8. What is self-love? Everyone defines self-love differently. And regardless of what your answer is, you have to do one thing. You have to convince yourself that you’re so much stronger than the negative thoughts haunting you.
You won’t be able to move on with your life and continue your journey to healing if you’re still holding on to the insecurity and to what happened to you in the toxic relationship.
9. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for making a terrible mistake. Forgive yourself for not recognizing all the signs, warning you to get out of that relationship. Forgive yourself for sticking by his side so much longer than you should have.
You don’t have to forgive him for hurting you. You have to forgive yourself for letting him hurt you.
10. Draw your boundaries. If you set them low, you’re going to get hurt again. If you set them high, you’re going to protect yourself. So basically, it’s up to you whether you’re going to live through the same story once again.
11. Forget about the past. You’re going to have weak moments when you wish things could have ended differently, but don’t let that make you do something you’ll regret later. You’re going to remember the old times and all the happy moments.
Because no matter how toxic the relationship was, you had moments which you’ll remember, happy moments when he wasn’t such an asshole.
12. Make a list of people you’ve neglected or hurt. Throughout your toxic relationship, you’ve probably hurt a few people you love. You‘ve probably excluded them from your life either because they were telling you the truth about the man you’re dating or because the man you dated distanced you from them.
Anyhow, what you did isn’t fair or friendly to anyone, no matter if you were forced to do it or you did it on your own initiative. Look for the people you’ve hurt and apologize. Those who truly love you will forgive you in a second and pick up where the two of you left off.
13. Give yourself some time. Despite the fact that you’ve broken free from a toxic relationship, you still need some time to mourn your loss. Even when your relationship fails and it was a horrible experience, you’ve engaged your emotions, and you’ve invested in it to make it work.
And all of your hard work went to waste. Take some time for yourself, and let yourself be sad and lonely. Question your existence. Question your faith in God because even when you’re doing everything right, you can’t seem to find happiness.
Be angry, and let it all out! Never keep it inside because that toxic poison will come out at the moment when you least expect it and destroy you when you’re the happiest.