Monogamy is not the only option. We are accepting and exploring new things. Having multiple romantic partners and sexual relationships at the same time is perfectly fine.
As long as we’re transparent and open about our life choices.
Let’s first get rid of this misconception: polyamory is not equal to cheating. But, sometimes people get confused. Out of fear of being rejected or judged, they chose not to show all about themselves.
If you’re freshly dating and a girl you’ve been seeing makes you feel like something is not quite alright, this is the article for you. How do you tell if a woman has multiple partners?
We’ll go through the most common red flags that show that a woman you’ve been dating is keeping her options open.
How Do You Tell If A Woman Has Multiple Partners? By These 8 Signs
So, you’ve met this amazing girl on Tinder and things are going pretty great between the two of you. But, why do you feel like there’s something more to it than what she shows?
She likes you, but at the same time, you feel like you’re not the only one. These are 8 common warning signs she is seeing other people or is open to that.
1. She’s still on Tinder.
Don’t expect her to delete the app the moment she agrees to go on a first date with you. But, if you’ve been seeing each other for quite some time (I would say a month or so), then it gets pretty weird if she is still active on Tinder.
Maybe she plans to break up with you. Or, she wants you, but at the same time, she wants to keep dating other people.
2. You don’t see her often enough.
When people like each other, it’s normal that they want to spend time together. In the beginning, you’re trying to keep your cool, but as time goes by, you start to develop feelings. A date once a week is not enough anymore.
To be precise, it’s not enough if you are in a monogamous relationship. If you have multiple sex partners, then it’s understandable. All partners get a date per week.
But seriously, if she doesn’t show a desire to see you more often than that, even after a month or two, then it’s time to start asking some questions.
3. She doesn’t introduce you to her circle.
How do you tell if a woman has multiple partners?
You’ve been seeing each other for a while now, but you only met her best friend. It’s not that she doesn’t have more friends… she is actually really friendly and knows a lot of people.
But, you never get to meet any of them. She doesn’t introduce you to her other friends, let alone family members or co-workers.
I’m not saying she should introduce a new guy after the third date. But, if it has been more than two months and you have no idea who her close people are… well, chances are they have no clue about you either.
And, that can mean you’re not the only one she’s going out with.
4. She never talks about the future.
When a romantic relationship is developing in the right direction, partners bring up the topic of their future plans usually within the first six months of dating.
If you start catching strong feelings for the person and everything is going well, of course, you start picturing your future together. It doesn’t mean that you will talk about a wedding and kids’ names after one month of dating.
But, unless you are a 16-year-old and still in high school, you will start talking about long-term commitment after a couple of months.
If she never mentions the future and she never talks about possible plans for you two, it could very well mean that other people are in the equation as well. She is not sure about the future of your relationship because she has other people on her mind, too.
5. She says she wants to take it slow.
This one is a red flag that we often tend to overlook. She said she wanted to take it slow. You know, let’s see where this thing is going.
It’s okay if you don’t want to rush into anything. However, if after a couple of months, she still doesn’t want to commit and wants to “take it slow”, it’s about time to get things clear.
Polyamorous relationships require people to be bold and honest, which is not easy. If you say openly that you want to date multiple partners, you can be rejected by all of the people you are trying to date. That’s why people oftentimes choose to bend the truth and go with excuses like “let’s see where this is going”.
It’s enough to escape the commitment, and it gives you the space to try with multiple people at the same time without actually being open about it because if you are not in a committed relationship, she doesn’t have to tell you everything about her life, right?
6. She checks out other men.
When you are alone with her, everything is great. But, when you go out and meet other people, she gives a different impression.
When other people are around, especially men, she seems like she’s not focused on you at all. You catch her looking at other men, and oftentimes, flirting with them.
She says she’s just being friendly, but you see that something is happening.
If your girl has a wandering eye all the time, it is a major warning sign that she could be a cheater.
7. Your sex life is not as you want it to be.
When you start dating someone new, it’s hard to take your eyes and hands off of them. Your sex drive is at its peak.
You are attracted to her and you are in the mood for sex all the time, but she doesn’t reciprocate your energy. Your sexual activity is not as intense as you would want it to be. It’s even weirder because she claimed she loved sex.
Well, maybe she really does love sex. She loves it so much that she chooses to have more sexual partners, and that’s why she can’t focus on you only.
More partners, more orgasms. More orgasms, happier life. Who can blame her?
8. She is secretive.
I’m not saying she should give you her phone password, but if she’s overly protective of her phone and hides it from you, it’s an indicator that something’s happening behind your back.
Is her phone always on silent and notifications are off? If she’s dating other people, she probably receives text messages all the time, and doesn’t want you to notice it.
Another red flag is hiding social media accounts. If she doesn’t add you on her social media after weeks of dating, it probably means she doesn’t want you to know all the details about her. She is hiding something.
See also: Why Polyamory Is Bad: 11 Honest Reasons
How Many Partners Is Too Many For A Girl?
There’s no such thing as too many partners. As long as a person is happy and doesn’t harm anyone else, they can do whatever they fancy.
If you are worried about your girlfriend’s past and want to know about the sexual experiences she has had before you, then I must tell you to stop.
Judging a person by the number of sexual partners they have had is not a reasonable thing to do.
If you are worried about things like STDs, then talk to her openly about it. If you don’t trust her, and she makes you uncomfortable, then she is not the right person for you.
How do you tell if a woman has multiple partners?
Well, you can always ask her.
If you’re freshly dating, and you have the feeling that the girl you’re seeing is dating other people, just ask her. Since you two are not committed, she’ll probably feel free to tell you what’s going on the first time you ask her.
If it has been a couple of months and you don’t trust her, then ask yourself why do you want to be with someone you don’t trust?
Sure, you can search for signals and red flags, but my advice would be to save your mental health and leave the situation.