If a guy gets jealous, does he have feelings for you? If he’s being so obvious about it that you’ve noticed it, some feelings are unquestionably present. But his jealousy isn’t about you – it’s about him.
Jealousy is complicated and, deep down, caused by insecurity. A guy could have deep feelings and not be jealous. And even though jealousy is common, it doesn’t have to exist along with romantic feelings.
In other words, a guy being jealous could mean that he has feelings for you, but it could also mean that he’s feeling threatened for another reason. So if it’s all so uncertain, what’s the point in thinking about it at all?
When you know what to look for, you can pay attention to his behavior to understand why he’s jealous. You’ll also be able to tell if his behavior is unhealthy and decide what you want to do about it. Keep reading for all of this and more.
If A Guy Gets Jealous, Does He Have Feelings?
When it comes to complicated feelings, jealousy is a doozy. It can make the person who feels it behave unpredictably and utterly confuse the person who’s the reason for it.
It’s normal that you get creeped out when a guy you’re not in a relationship with is always in your face about other guys. Or maybe he’s not so over-the-top, and it seems cute how much he’s gone for you.
“If a guy gets jealous, does he have feelings for me?” is a reasonable question to ask.
It’s safe to say that feelings are involved when a guy is jealous, but those feelings might or might not be what you’re hoping for. When a guy is jealous, you can only know for sure that he’s feeling threatened and that it has something to do with you.
He could be feeling jealous if he believes that you might be losing interest in him if he thinks that you like him. But he could also be jealous if he enjoys your attention yet thinks of you as a platonic friend.
What Are Some Signs A Guy Is Jealous Because Likes You?
A little jealousy is natural, no matter the kind of relationship. The only people who never experience it are those who feel completely secure or those who don’t care at all. What matters is how we deal with those feelings.
There are some signs of jealousy you might notice in a guy who’s interested in you romantically. Some of these behaviors are okay, but others could be a sign of deeper insecurities, and he might prove to be dangerously possessive and toxic.
1. He downplays nice things you say about other men
Let’s assume for the purpose of this article that the jealous guy in your life is a coworker and that you’re not in a relationship. You see him almost every day and you talk often.
One day, you’re on a break and hanging out in a group. You’re talking about a project that you’ve finished together with other people you work with. One of the guys you worked with has been especially helpful and you tell him so.
Your jealous guy can’t help but comment something like, “Well, everyone did great!”
This might not seem significant unless you notice it repeating a few times. If he has to add that it’s not so special every time you mention that another guy is in some way commendable, he might be competing for your attention and admiration, not points at work.
2. He becomes annoyed when you talk to other men
You mention a guy you know who’s done something interesting, and he rolls his eyes. You talk to him about a male friend of yours who’s into the same thing he is, and he says he’s not into it anymore. You ask him about a guy from his office, and he changes the subject.
All of these are signs that he doesn’t want to talk to you about other guys because he wants you to focus only on him. He’s insecure and worries that if another guy proves to be better than he is, you’ll lose interest in him.
3. He’s cold to your male friends
If you introduce him to one of your guy friends and he’s cold and disinterested, it’s a sign that he doesn’t like sharing your attention. This is a common problem in relationships in which one partner is jealous, but as long as his jealousy remains just a feeling, it’s okay.
You feel what you feel, and it’s not easy to change it. But if he’s not trying to control your behavior even though he’s insecure, he hasn’t reached a point of toxic jealousy. If you want to enter into a relationship with him, however, discuss this before it goes too far.
4. He’s competitive
Why do guys always compete with each other? I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that it’s because of their insecurities. A man who’s confident and self-assured doesn’t feel the need to prove himself to other people.
But such a guy is also usually not jealous, so where there’s jealousy, you can expect insecurity. This is why he sees all other guys as competition. He’ll try to make you see how much better he is than others because he’s constantly comparing himself to them.
RELATED: 17 Signs He Likes You More Than A Friend But Is Too Afraid To Admit It
5. He tries to impress you
After he eliminates his competition, he’ll try to make you see how desirable he is. He’ll brag about his accomplishments, show off his skills and adopt body language that makes him feel strong and interesting.
When a guy likes you, he’ll try to impress you even if he’s not jealous of others, so this is a sure sign he’s interested. He wants to show you all the things that are great about him so that you’ll like him back, and he’s even more eager when he has competition.
6. He offers you help and favors
Jealousy is a fear of losing something that matters to you, so when a guy is jealous, he’ll try to convince you that you have a reason to stick with him. He believes that being helpful and useful will make you more likely to pick him over other guys.
Be careful of guys who only offer help as means of gaining something, though. If this guy is always kind and friendly and is just laying it on thick now that he wants you to notice him, there’s probably nothing about his behavior to be wary of.
But if he’s someone you otherwise wouldn’t think to ask for help, then he’s being manipulative. His true face will appear sooner or later.
7. He tries to make you jealous
A guy likes you and wants you to like him back. He feels jealous when you show attention to other guys. He believes that if you liked him, you’d feel jealous when he showed attention to other girls. So when an opportunity presents itself to make you feel jealous, he takes it.
Most people don’t think that they’re being manipulative when they do things that purposely try to provoke someone into doing or feeling something. Still, it’s something to keep in mind.
Many actions people do when they’re trying to get someone to notice them are spontaneous instead of calculated. Use your judgment to decide if his actions are acceptable to you or if he’s trying to manipulate you.
8. He wants you to reassure him
Everyone wants the person they like to acknowledge them. When a guy likes you, your validation is everything to him. He wants you to notice him, to appreciate him and to like him back. If he’s feeling jealous, he wants you to reassure him even more.
Jealousy stems from insecurity, so he feels even more vulnerable when he’s unsure of your feelings. He wants you to help him stop feeling that way and needs you to make it clear that he’s the one you like.
9. He stays close to you
Does your guy show up wherever you are? Is he somehow always standing next to you? Does he switch seats to sit close to you? Is he always in your business? If you’ve suddenly acquired a satellite, it’s a not-so-subtle sign that you might have a jealous admirer.
He probably doesn’t mean to hover, but it seems like you’ve become a magnet and he can’t pull away. If you like him back, this might be cute, especially if he’s not obnoxious about it. If he’s being intrusive and pushy, on the other hand, he might have issues with boundaries.
RELATED: Men Tend To Be Mysterious: 16 Subtle Signs He Likes You
Does A Jealous Guy Always Have Feelings For The Person He’s Jealous Over?
The simple answer is no.
People aren’t only jealous in romantic relationships. We also get jealous of siblings, coworkers and people we don’t even know. It all comes down to whether we believe that something we have might be taken away from us.
You know platonic jealousy if you’ve ever been inseparable from a friend who suddenly stopped giving you attention after getting a boyfriend. Her attention that you were used to was taken away and you wanted it back.
Jealousy is a complex emotion that can be difficult to understand. When someone is jealous, they’re experiencing a mix of negative emotions. Making sense of all these feelings isn’t easy for the person who’s jealous and even less for the person who inspired it.
Is Jealousy A Red Flag?
Whether or not jealousy is a red flag in a guy depends on what he does with his jealousy. Feelings are hard to control, especially complex and difficult ones like jealousy – but he can control his behavior.
Complex feelings like jealousy are different from simple feelings like, for example, joy. When human beings are happy, they’re happy – you can’t break that feeling down into parts.
Jealous people feel insecure. They’re also afraid and angry. Some resentment and helplessness might also be involved. These and other feelings are mixed together and they’re feeling them all at the same time.
All they know is that they’re feeling threatened about losing something they have.
When does jealousy become a problem?
His jealousy isn’t a problem until he acts on it. A jealous man usually has low self-esteem and feels insecure when he compares himself to others. He sees them as competition and he becomes afraid that what he has with you is in danger.
But what starts as an eye-roll every time you mention another guy can turn into accusations, suspicion and distrust if his jealousy escalates until it reaches unhealthy proportions.
Here are some red flags that mean that his jealousy has crossed into unhealthy territory.
• He’s suspicious and distrustful
He doubts you and accuses you of lying. He interrogates you and demands to know who you were with, especially if you hang out with male friends.
• He acts possessive
He doesn’t give you space and always has to make sure other men know you belong to him.
• He feels entitled to your time
Even though you have other people you want to socialize with, he insists you drop everyone and spend all your time with him. He expects your love life to become your whole life.
• He must know where you are at all times
He expects you to check in and keep him up to date on your whereabouts. In his eyes, not letting him know your plans is a no-no.
• He wants access to your phone
He demands access to your phone and social media and claims it’s because he wants you to prove to him that you have nothing to hide.
• He tells you who you’re allowed to talk to
He decides that some people are off-limits and that you should stop communicating with them, such as your exes, guy friends or your best friend who warned you against him.
• He gets angry when you break his rules
He has a short temper and quickly gets mad if you do something that makes him jealous. This is one of the most obvious signs that his jealousy is toxic.
How To Make A Jealous Guy Stop Acting Like That?
Jealousy can be suffocating. No matter how much you like a guy, if he’s constantly in your face about where you’ve been and who you’re talking to, you’ll lose your patience sooner or later. Even worse, toxic jealousy easily escalates into abuse.
1. Speak up
It’s important to speak up and tell him how his behavior makes you feel. If you like this guy and want to have a good relationship with him, you should let him know you don’t like his behavior before things go out of hand.
Be honest, but don’t turn it into an argument. Be kind and understanding. Remember that his jealousy is caused by insecurity. If he’s otherwise a great guy, give him the benefit of the doubt if things are still manageable and his behavior isn’t toxic.
2. Set boundaries
Boundaries make relationships healthy and happy. When partners accept it when their significant other communicates their boundaries, they’re able to create a relationship that makes both of them feel heard and respected.
Tell him how you want to be treated and what you expect. Address behaviors that you don’t like and keep this conversation ongoing. Feelings and behaviors change and it’s important to regularly communicate your boundaries with your partner so that both of you can feel safe and loved.
In Closing
Understanding your own feelings can be a challenge – figuring out how someone else feels even more so. The only way to know for sure is to ask them, but the second best method of pinpointing how another person feels is to look at their behavior as a whole.
If a guy gets jealous, does he have feelings? Maybe, and maybe not. You can reach a more conclusive answer if you pay attention to how he acts. The more signs that he has feelings you spot, the more likely it is that you’re right.
But it’s a good idea to also pay attention to how extreme his behavior is. Feeling jealous and being annoying from time to time isn’t the same as toxic jealousy. If his behavior is manipulative and toxic, you might want to take action as soon as possible.
